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Kyle Broflovski knew from the moment that he and Eric Cartman had finally come together… as a couple, as a relationship… that things between them would finally be perfect. The peace between them would finally be set, and things would once and for all be flawless in their world together. No more worries. No more fighting. Just their ideal relationship…
Wait… no, no, no, no, no. Scratch that. Kyle Broflovski thought from the moment he and Eric Cartman became a couple, things would reach their ultimate pique of perfection.
Well, he was wrong.
Things weren’t always easy, but what couple doesn’t bicker and get into a few fights here and there? It’s no big deal, Kyle thought. This will blow over, and things will be fine again. But Kyle couldn’t help but feel otherwise when he felt the emptiness in his stomach as he faced the front of the classroom. A sort of void that provoked him to no end, because he knew something was missing… Eric was missing, in the past few days, at least.
Their English teacher had called on someone to read their poem, and Kyle was too invested in his thoughts about their relationship that it wasn’t until Eric reached the front of the class that he noticed him standing there, with a paper clutched in his hand. Kyle went white-faced, and his palms began to sweat. Why would Eric... out of all people, volunteer first? He usually never even had the right work prepared. Kyle, as always, jumped to conclusions; Eric was about to read a fucking poem to the whole class… so what else could it be about besides a few broken hearts?
Kyle knew exactly where this was headed the minute Eric’s eyes landed on his, a gleam of malice behind them. He had the major urge to just get up and scream at Eric till his throat hurt, or to simply kiss him— just so he could stop him from talking before Eric even started… but something kept Kyle glued to his seat. Perhaps it was the fact that his classmates would obviously notice if he got up and started raging, which seemed like a treacherous option. Eric began to speak, and Kyle’s heart dropped lower into his chest than it already was.
“I hate the way you talk to me,” Eric began reading.
“—and your stupid fucking hair.” The teacher had immediately objected to Eric’s swearing, but Eric simply smiled a small grin and apologized, as he seemed to want to get back to reading.
Kyle gripped the edges of his desk, his cheeks on fire. He could not fucking believe Eric was doing this… not here, not now. Kyle rolled his eyes, leaning back on his chair with his arms crossed. This didn’t mean anything… he should just ignore it, right?
“I hate the way you drive your car, I hate it that I stare—“ Kyle’s body stiffened in his seat.
“I hate your stupid fucking hat,” Eric talked slow, too slow, clearly for the purpose of making sure everyone heard his exact words. His classmates around him began getting suspicious, eyebrows raised and amused smirks.
People peered around at each other— hoping to spot whoever Eric was ranting about, and some did. Some had their eyes set with looks of bewilderment on Kyle’s furious expression. Others, smirked wildly at Kyle, trying to hold back laughter, people like Kenny— to be exact.
Of fucking course Kenny was one who looked most smug, he had guessed it from the beginning. Kyle glanced over at Stan who still looked unable to piece the puzzle together. His focus was on Eric as well, and Kyle felt remotely relieved for Stan’s ignorance at this time.
“And the way you read my mind,” Eric went on. Kyle’s heart rate sped up, but he ignored it.
“I hate you so much that it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.” The way Kyle looked so flustered and angry satisfied Eric to no end. This is precisely what he hoped for. He had him in the palm of his hand and had the ability to absolutely crush Kyle any second he chose, and so he went on:
“I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it that you lie.” Eric kept exchanging glances with him— Kyle couldn’t help but bite his lip angrily, trying to keep his expressions intact.
Fuck this, thought Kyle. Fuck Cartman, I don’t need him.
“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry—“ Eric’s voice was filled with passion and madness as he spoke.
“I hate the way you’re not around...”
Kyle felt his heart ache momentarily, his chest heaving as he once again rolled his eyes. God, was Eric infuriating. But Kyle missed him, he missed him so fucking much--
“And the fact that you didn’t call.” Kyle didn’t notice the snickers from his classmates, who all knew what was going on at this point. He was too focused on everything else. Eric’s voice was the only thing in the room. His enraging voice. The room was spinning and all he could see was Eric staring back at him with the utmost vehement look. Rage built up inside him. Kyle couldn’t pretend he didn’t care... but he did. Too much.
How the hell could Eric do this to him? Much to his surprise, his eyes watered a bit--
“But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you—“ Shaking his head back and forth, trying to ignore the tears that streamed down his face, eyes rolling. The urge to launch himself at Eric was too strong, but before he could, Eric spoke again:
“Not even close, not even a little bit, not even—“ Eric seemed to be drawing to a close, but before Kyle even knew what he was doing, he was standing in front of Eric as his nails dug into the palms of his hands. He had nearly knocked over a few desks while getting up but Kyle didn’t seem to realize.
The teacher pleaded for him to sit down, but Kyle didn’t seem to hear.
“OKAY... THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR OWN GODDAMN POEM THAT YOU WROTE!” Kyle yelled. “You got it from that stupid fucking movie you made me sit through with you!”
“OH, don’t act like you didn’t fucking enjoy it, Kyle!” Eric lowered his arm next to his side which held the poem.
“THAT’S NOT… THE POINT,” Kyle’s tone was stern and his deepest desire right now was to maim Eric… or passionately kiss him, Kyle couldn’t tell.
“You have to pull this shit now? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE? This... is the reason we fight all the time! Because you don’t know when to stop!”
“OH, that’s the reason?!” Eric fired back.
“How about the fact that you’re embarrassed by me, Kyle! You can’t just accept things for how they are already and let the world see us because you’re so scared. It’s fucking pathetic, Kyle. It really is.”
“What?! This is about you not being able to fucking control yourself, Cartman—” Kyle’s voice echoed.
“No, you’re just ashamed, Kyle—“
“Ashamed?! Who the hell ever said I was ashamed?!”
“Fine, Kyle! If you’re not embarrassed about us then turn to the class—“ Eric gestured to everyone who looked absolutely dumbfounded, but soaked up every second of their heated argument.
The teacher had been too, was just as guilty as the students, and decided not to interject. Kyle had completely forgotten about everyone else in the room, but as Eric gestured towards everyone, his head turned so slowly toward them with his mouth hanging open, terrified of seeing their response. Kyle of course first looked at Stan and Kenny. Kenny looked like the smug asshole he was with that stupid smirk on his face. Stan’s look was a mixture of absolute confusion and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Poor Stan, he was so out of touch and so kept in the dark.
“—then turn to the class and tell everyone what we are!” Eric snapped, his arms folded, waiting for a response Stan couldn’t look at Kyle. He just… couldn’t. Kyle exchanged a plead for help with Kenny, but Kenny just shook his head slightly, still half smiling and with only his lips moving said: “you’re on your own, dude.”
Kyle felt his eyes drift toward Eric, who had now absolutely let his guard down. Eric’s face had relaxed— eyebrows pushed together in doubt and anticipation, bot arms by his side while the poem was still clutched in his right hand. What the fuck was he supposed to do?
Everything before the last 10 minutes seemed absolutely trivial. Nothing was more important to anyone right now. Eric locked eyes with Kyle and Kyle stared back. He looked at Kyle with a trace a useless trace of hope and anxiousness, but Kyle stayed silent. Lips unmoving and palms sweating SAY SOMETHING! he thought to himself, but he opened his mouth and nothing came out. God, the situation had really spiraled out of control now and there was no going back. But the two boys were secretly wishing they could just… start things over. Though it’s too late. It’s always too late.
Eric, still staring at Kyle— looked on the verge of tears. He couldn’t believe Kyle had nothing to say. Nothing. That’s it. Eric shook his head rapidly, tears threatening to spill at any moment, but he was strong enough to keep a brave and angry face like he usually did, before turning around and sprinting out of the class. Kyle watched him go with regret filling his entire body, every single pair of eyes in the room on him. Nothing else mattered now. It wasn’t until about a few seconds after where he nearly tripped over his own feet, running out of the classroom in search of Eric. Everything was the opposite of what it was supposed to be. Everything was backward, and Kyle might’ve just fucked everything up for good. Silence filled the room as the two were gone now, the yelling ceased. The kids exchanged bewildered yet divert looks when someone finally spoke… Kenny, who whispered to Stan—
“God… what a fucking mess.”