Work Text:
“Ugh. Calculus is going to kill me one day. I’m very sure it’s going to be my doom.” Sharon grumbled as we got out of the classroom. I totally agreed with her. It was only our second calculus lesson but my head was already pounding.
I massaged my temples as we walked towards the exit, already feeling the beginnings of a spectacular headache. The others were in a very similar situation. No one was really excited that the classes were over for today, and that meant we were at our limit.
“What I’m feeling bad for is that we still have homework. So much of it.” I said. Almost everyone groaned loudly at the mention of the “forbidden” word. My legs were stiff due to sitting still for so long, but my mind was working out things, compartmentalising the workload. The next calculus class was on Tuesday, so I had three days to complete writing the journal and completing the assignment. But then I had an English essay and Chemistry papers due on Monday. God, it was going to be a hectic weekend.
Suddenly, I felt a pair or arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I froze for a moment. I was about to turn around and punch whoever it was, but the person gently put their nose against my shoulder blade. A familiar scent tingled my nose. My body immediately relaxed as I realized who it was. But my stupid lesbian heart had other plans.
“Hey.” My best friend, Natasha whispered huskily in my ear. I realized how close we were, and my heart began beating drastically fast. I cursed softly as I felt blood rushing to my cheeks, feeling like an idiot. Natasha removed her hands from my body and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Then I reprimanded myself for thinking that way. Gods, we were supposed to be friends. Only friends. Nothing else.
I turned around and was tackled into another hug, this one tighter. I hugged her back, a little hesitant, and I swear I could feel her smirking. I rolled my eyes but smiled like a kid. “I missed you.” I whispered in her ear. She hummed. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, but when she pulled back, all I could think of was how lucky I was to have her.
She looked mostly the same. The last we’d met was eight months ago, on her birthday. Then too it had been only for a few hours. It was true, I had missed her. A little too much. But seeing those shining emerald eyes and that Troublemaker ™ smile, I felt my heart melt into a puddle of pure joy. Pull yourself together! I thought. I shook my head to clear my head of all the thoughts and then realized all my class friends were staring.
I mentally groaned but turned attention to them for a moment. Their reactions were kind of hilarious. It had always been an unsaid rule that physical contact made me uncomfortable. So now when I looked at them, their expressions ranged from sheer disbelief to mock betrayal.
“Guys, this is my best friend, Natasha Romanoff. Nat, these are my friends.” I introduced, pointing out everyone’s names and Nat smiled, nodded or waved. When we were through introductions, the girls all had a small talk with Nat and then left. I looked at my watch. Damn, we had taken up a lot of time in all this. The only ones still there were Pepper and Sharon.
As the elevator door behind us opened, we all stepped in quickly. Sharon and Nat were talking about something and Pepper was smirking at me. I gave her questioning glance but she just shook her head, grinning. I was about to ask her when I felt myself getting distracted by something. Or rather, someone.
Nat grinned at something Sharon said, probably something sarcastic, and I stared as Natasha’s features glowed when she smiled. She was carrying her old, trusty backpack (the one which she’d tried to paint and ended up only slightly destroyed. She’d been adamant to use it anyway), which meant she had come right after art classes. She wore cream coloured jeans and the crimson top that I had given her for her birthday. It was my first time seeing her in it. And yes, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Her fiery red locks were now longer, I noticed, and pulled into a messy bun and I resisted the urge to touch the strands escaping from it.
I snapped out my trance when someone cleared their throat. I blinked, twice, before focusing on Pepper, who was giving me a look. Embarrassed, I looked away at Sharon, who was just smiling. What was with those two? Why were they giving me secretive looks?
“You didn’t hear a word I said, right?” Pepper asked, smirking wider at my flustered expression. I quickly tried to regain my composure and look normal. It did not work.
“No. I was… lost in thought.” I mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. Pepper and Sharon exchanged glances. “Thought so.” Sharon said dryly. “Well, we’ll get going. Get your bike.” I nodded and they stepped out of the elevator. Wait, we had come reached the ground floor so fast? I closed my eyes as I realized exactly how distracted I had been. When I opened them, I felt Nat’s gaze piercing into my soul.
“You were staring at me.” She stated it like it was a fact (which it was) but the corners of her lips were tugging up. I quickly looked away, but not fast enough because I could feel myself start blushing. Damn it. I opened my mouth, but closed it again. Those two green orbs were still staring so intensely that it was making me weak in my knees. Forcing away all thoughts, I concentrated on forming coherent sentences first.
“You’re wearing the top I gifted you.” I blurted, feeling like an idiot. Why was I so horrible at this? I didn’t even know what ‘it’ was. But Natasha just grinned, looking amused.
“So you were staring at my clothes then? Or something else?” she asked teasingly, and I could feel my face burning. In that one moment, I thanked this universe for being born with a dark complexion. Because at that moment, it was the only thing helping me stay dignified. Thankfully, the elevator door pinged open before I painfully embarrassed myself again.
I practically rushed out of the door to my bike and scrambled to pull out the keys out of the jeans pockets. My hands were trembling slightly, but I forced myself to breathe properly and calm down. I could feel blood roaring in my ears and the rapid thumping of my heart. In all, I felt like I was going to die by embarrassing myself. Then I froze for the second time as the same pair of arms slid from behind me yet again.
“Nat?” I asked, my voice flushed and uncertain. “Shush.” She quieted me, holding me in place and slowly rubbing circles on my stomach through my shirt. Very slowly, my muscles relaxed and I exhaled. My heart did not feel like it was going to explode, so it was positive to say that I had calmed down.
“Turn around.” Natasha whispered softly as she loosened her grip. I turned just as slowly, not trusting my feet to work properly while being so close to Nat. When I finally did turn around completely, Natasha looked down at me and smiled. She also set her hands on my hips, and I was happy for that because my legs turned to jelly when I looked at her. Her smile was so sweet and pure, but I averted my eyes as guilt pierced my heart. She looked at me and saw a best friend, and I was being so stupid by crushing on her. She did not want anything but friendship, so who was I to fantasize about something more. I didn’t deserve her anyways, I thought bitterly. I had no right think in that way. Not for Nat.
Nat gently lifted my chin up so I could look at her. Her eyes were so soft, so vulnerable in that moment. No. I couldn’t keep doing this. Not to her. “Nat, I-” I started, but her long finger stopped my lips from moving. I looked at her, confused, but she shook her head and simply said, “I love you.”
Three words. Just three words. But the only three words I’d been dying to hear. From her. At first, I didn’t even realize. But then, it suddenly hit me. She’d said it. She’d actually said that she loved me. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to say something. I didn’t know what I would say. If I should say something. But she helped me by silencing me, her finger still on my mouth. Then she wrapped me into the warmest hug I’d ever had. I let her envelope me into it. Into her.
She waited, very patiently, for me to think it through. We stayed like that for a long time. But my mind had simply gone blank. She loved me. She loved me. That was the only sentence that was going through my mind before I started noticing things. Things I’d noticed before, yes, but not like this.
Like how her perfume, mixed with her scent, was not just sweet but something different. Paints and coffee and something she couldn’t name. And it made her feel safe. How my body seemed to wrap around her perfectly. How the height difference felt comforting even though it always ticked her off. Or how I could see her love for me in those beautiful eyes. And how it had always been there, but I just hadn’t looked deep enough.
“Really?” I asked, finally breaking the silence. I felt her smiling, before she nodded. My heart fluttered at that. The information had finally settled in. she loved me. She really did love me. “I love you too.” I said, pulling apart to look at her. She looked like an angel. My angel. She leaned closer, so close that that our noses were touching.
“Can I kiss you?” she asked, still smiling. I laughed, before leaning closer and filling the gap between our lips. Now, I would’ve loved to say that I remembered a beautiful quote, or pictured the most beautiful place when it happened. But words will never do justice to what I actually felt when our lips met. The only way I can describe it is that I felt loved. I felt complete.
I didn’t know how long it lasted, but what I did know was that I loved every moment. When we finally broke apart, both of us were out of breath. Somehow, between the kiss, we had moved so that now I was squeezed between a pillar and Natasha. I struggled to catch my breath and more importantly, my racing heart. And by the looks of it, so did she. So when we had finally calmed ourselves, I realized how it all had turned out.
Being the dreamy idiot I was, I had thought of this situation so many times. And yet, when it had happened, it had been so different. I had kissed my best friend in an empty parking lot after coming from my calculus class. So different than what I had thought, yet so perfect.
“What’re you thinking?” she asked, her voice breathy. I smiled at her and pecked her cheek. I found it extremely adorable that she blushed. Grinning, I answered, “About this.” I vaguely gestured the whole place and she raised her eyebrow at me. Then she cupped my face, stood on her toes and kissed my forehead. I felt me blushing too, and swore softly. Nat grinned at me and I made a face.
“Weren’t you straight?” I asked her jokingly. But internally, I wondered how I had never noticed. “Mhmm. I was. But you know happened?” she asked, and I rolled my eyes before asking what. “You.” She simply said. I shook my head but grinned. “Cheesy.” I commented, finding it ironic because I was the cheesy one usually.
“See? That’s what you do to me, baby.” She whispered, pouting. My heart did a cartwheel, whether at the ‘baby’ or at the pout, I would never find out. But then, I didn’t think I would want to.
“No, but seriously. You were gay all this time? And I never noticed?” I said, absently playing with her hair. She smirked at me. “Well, it is surprising how oblivious you can be. Like, it was only after practically making out with you that you realized I was gay.”
I rolled my eyes but did a little happy dance in my head. “So are you a lesbian too? Or bi, or pan?” I asked. I needed to know her sexual orientation so that I could make her feel comfortable.
“Pansexual and proud.” She said, winking. “But now should we get back to that kiss? I was enjoying it thoroughly, and my looking at your blush, so were you.” She gave me a knowing look and I smirked. Always the flirty one. But even then, I leaned closer and let her press me further into the wall as we kissed again.
I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
well I found a girl beautiful and sweet
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
but darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
and in your eyes you're holding mine
The evening was so beautiful, and so was she. Her eyes held mine. I felt myself staring in the depths of those green orbs. They were perfect, like the rest of her. Two orbs the color of grass on a summer morning. The soft green shade melted into the black pupils, yet were startlingly easy to notice. Her lips softly hummed the tune and sometimes sang the lyrics. Yes, the evening was beautiful, and so was she.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
when you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
We swayed in the starlight. I was very thankful for soft tone light in the terrace which illuminated her features and gave her a golden glow. A year ago, when my then nature loving roommate had asked me to help make a mini garden out of our terrace, I had complained. But now, it felt like I was in heaven. The artificial grass tingled by bare feet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. We weren’t really dancing, I didn’t dance. No, we were swaying slightly to the tune, and as long as I was in her arms, I didn’t mind it.
Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes
I saw it in her. Not just attraction, but something deeper. Forged by the bond of friendship and kindled in the fire of love. She was a part of me, even before I’d given my heart to her. She was a part of my soul and I was a part of hers. I didn’t even remember a time before her, and couldn’t bear to think a time after her.
I knew that things weren’t going to be easy for us. But they had never been before. I mean a Latina girl falling in love with a white Russian girl? How often do you find so many issues in just that one sentence? We knew that it was difficult. But we had each other. And we would make it you of this. And for a moment, when she smiled at my lost look, I felt these thoughts vanishing and getting lost in her instead.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
when I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight
My hand shifted from her hip and settled on the small of her back. I gently pulled her closer, not liking the distance between us. She grinned but complied. I knew it was probably the most ridiculous thing that we were doing. Empty pizza boxes lay a few feet away, along with two cans of cherry coke (her personal favorites). We were in each other’s arms, in shorts and tank tops, singing along with the lyrics by now. Somehow, I’d always loved this song. And it was the most perfect thing about the whole scenario. So when I looked at her, dancing eyes and red tinted lips, for the first time, I didn’t think whether I deserved her or not. Because, I realized, it didn’t matter. We both wanted each other, and that’s all it took.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight
We just stared at each other as the song ended. We were so close, and I just didn’t want to be away from her ever again. We could work this out. This relationship. Because yes, I had found an angel, and she is perfect. And I was madly in love with her. I was completely head over heels in love with Natasha Romanoff.
So when she asked me, “What’re you thinking?” out of habit, I kissed her ever so gently, and stroked her face, answering, “I love you.”
Instead of answering in words, she let her lips give me the answer I wanted. The kiss was so soft, sweet and gentle that I felt like I was in heaven. When we pulled back, she glanced behind me, towards the clock. I turned and looked at the two arms of the clock striking at twelve together. She grinned at me and murmured, “Happy Birthday, darling.”