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It was a very common sight to see Mark dodged any physical skinship from Donghyuck or pushed him a little bit too hard when the younger boy tried to touch him. The members didn't even bat an eye anymore when Mark blatantly ignored Donghyuck's attempt to get his attention. It wasn't like Mark hated him or something. It was just how the dynamic of their relationship. Donghyuck would annoy Mark and do anything as he liked meanwhile Mark stay unfazed. There was an unspoken agreement between them; only they knew that it was just an act and thus Donghyuck didn't get offended when Mark rejected him and Mark made sure to show his affection to him in a different way—because the absolutely capable Mark Lee was actually lacking in romance department and didn't know how to express his true feelings properly.
But sometimes there were times when the members misunderstood their relationship. One day when Mark was eating his banana cereal, Johnny cornered him.
“Do you have to be like that with Donghyuck?” he asked, leaning against the counter as he sipped his morning coffee.
Mark looked up from his bowl, raising one eyebrow at him.
“What do you mean?”
“You're too harsh sometimes,” Johnny said carefully. In their group, Johnny took a role as one of the big brothers to heart. He felt responsible for the younger members and always checked on them from time to time. He was like a father on the group and even though he didn't play bias, since he's currently living with 127 members, it was obvious that he was coddling over Donghyuck and paid extra care when it came to the younger.
“I just don't want Donghyuck to be hurt,” he added in a softer tone, it was full of affection. “It wouldn't hurt to act a little bit nice to him, right?”
Mark didn't answer him. He stared down at his bowl of cereal, completely silent.
“Mark, you know I didn't mean to—“ Johnny stopped mid-sentence when Donghyuck walked into the kitchen, yawning loudly without covering his mouth. He stretched both hands over his head, his oversized hoodie lifted to reveal his soft tummy and his sun-kissed skin.
“Good morning, Donghyuck-ah," Johnny greeted him with a smile. “Sleep well?”
“Good morning, hyung,” Donghyuck gave him a sleepy smile as he took a seat next to Mark. “And yes, I slept well.”
Johnny hummed. “Good.”
Donghyuck grabbed a spoon and started to dig into his bowl of chocolate cereal. Johnny frowned. He didn't notice that there was another bowl of cereal on the table.
“I put extra milk on your cereal,” Mark said, ruffling his disheveled hair gently. Donghyuck beamed at him and gave him a thumbs up.
“It tastes really good!”
“Don't talk when you're eating, silly.”
Mark chuckled as he wiped the crumbs from the corner of Donghyuck's lips. The younger grinned at him and continued eat. Mark didn't even touch his cereal again. He propped his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his palm, watching him eating. The fond and content look on his face was enough for Johnny to understand.
“All right, kids,” Johnny said as he walked over them. “Finish your breakfast. I'll wake the others up.”
He patted Donghyuck's head gently and gave Mark a knowing look before leaving the kitchen. After that day, he never said anything about their relationship anymore.
It was 2 in the morning when Mark finally arrived at the dorm. He just finished his personal schedule and felt completely drained of energy. The whole dorm was very still and silent. The members were already fast asleep. He padded over the kitchen and let out a surprised gasp when he saw Taeyong crouching in the door of the fridge.
“Oh, Mark!” Taeyong straightened his back after taking out a bottle of water. The leader was probably stayed up late again to play online game. “Welcome home.”
Mark only hummed as a reply. He’s carrying a plastic bag with what appeared to be ice cream inside it. Taeyong raised an eyebrow when he saw a tub of green tea ice cream.
“Since when did you like green tea?”
“I don't. It's for Donghyuck.” Mark walked to the fridge and put the ice cream inside, oblivious to Taeyong's reaction. “I forgot to buy it yesterday.”
“Did Donghyuck ask you to buy it for him?”
Mark shook his head and closed the fridge, finally turning his head to face the leader of the group.
“No. You know he never pays for ice cream or snacks.”
“You mean you're the one who always stocking the fridge with green tea ice cream? For Donghyuck? Just because he likes it?”
Mark frowned at his reaction but nodded. “Yes.”
Taeyong was stunned, surprise evident on his face. He looked at Mark with calculating eyes. When he spoke again, he still sounded confused.
“He doesn't even eat ice cream that much.”
“Yeah. But sometimes when he's having trouble sleeping he would eat ice cream before going to sleep. It helps him sleep better.”
Taeyong shook his head in disbelief. “Sometimes it's so easy to forget that you've spent the longest time with Donghyuck and there's no way you guys hate each other.”
Mark frowned. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“You know, sometimes you make us think that you don't like Donghyuck. Well, you never reciprocate his skinship.”
“Oh.” it was the only thing Mark managed to utter and he didn't say anything else after that.
Taeyong was the leader of the group and he had a very heavy responsibility on his shoulders. All of the members were his responsibility and it was just so happened in his nature to worry about everyone. Taeyong wouldn't hesitate to protect his members. He always tried to be there when someone needed him. Because of what happened in the past, Taeyong was a little bit overprotective with Donghyuck. He felt the need to protect the younger because they've experienced the same thing and he didn't want the younger to get hurt again.
Mark noticed that Taeyong always had unpleasant look on his face when he dodged Donghyuck's affection. And when he thought things went too far, he would remind Mark not to be too harsh to Donghyuck.
After a few heartbeats of silence, Taeyong finally smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
“I understand now,” he said. “It's late. Go to bed and take a rest.”
Mark nodded and quickly left the kitchen. A few days later, when the 127 members had a radio show and Mark refused to sit next to Donghyuck, Taeyong didn't even frown. He only gave Mark a smile and nodded in understanding.
“Is that your shirt?”
Mark looked up from his phone and followed Jaehyun's stare. He was looking at Donghyuck who curled up next to Doyoung, watching some videos on his phone. He was wearing a flannel shirt that hung over his shoulders because it was two sizes bigger. The members were currently in the dressing room, getting their make-up done for the scheduled interviews.
“That's your shirt, right?” Jaehyun repeated. “I'm pretty sure I saw you wore that one before.”
“Yeah,” Mark replied casually as if it was nothing. “That's mine.”
“He borrowed it from you?”
“More like he claimed it as his because he's never giving it back to me. And this isn't the first time he does that.”
Jaehyun was quiet for a moment.
“And you're okay completely okay with that?”
"Yeah," Mark didn't miss a single beat. He looked oddly satisfied when he stared at Donghyuck. “He looks good.”
Jaehyun looked at Mark who's still staring at Donghyuck and he smiled in amusement as a realization finally hit him.
“Can I borrow your clothes?”
Mark turned to Jaehyun and frowned. “What?”
“Your clothes,” he said, trying so hard to hide his amusement. His dense little brother was so cute. “Can I borrow it?”
Mark wrinkled his nose. “My clothes aren't going to fit you, hyung. You're bigger and taller than me. Why would you want to borrow it anyway?”
Jaehyun chucked, shaking his head slightly.
“Nothing,” he said. “Well then. I'm going to get my make-up done.”
When Jaehyun walked passed Donghyuck, he stopped in front of the boy and pointed at his clothes.
“Donghyuck-ah, you look really good on that.”
Donghyuck looked up from his phone. He followed Jaehyun's pointed finger and instantly beamed. Jaehyun heard a sharp intake of breath behind him. From his peripheral look, he saw Mark’s face turned red.
“Thanks, hyung!” he said, grinning. “It's actually Mark's.”
Donghyuck looked over Jaehyun's shoulder and waved at Mark.
“You heard that, Markie? Jaehyun hyung said I look good. I'm not giving it back to you.”
Mark chuckled, shaking his head fondly at the younger.
“You claimed it as yours the moment you saw it.”
Donghyuck giggled. “Does that mean I can keep it?”
“You know you don’t have to ask. It's yours.”
Donghyuck's smile widened tenfold. “You're the best!”
“I know.”
Jaehyun shook his head in amusement. These two were so cute yet dense and oblivious at the same time. Young love, he mused as plopped down on the chair. Through the mirror he saw Donghyuck got up from his seat and walked toward Mark's direction, settling next to him. He wrapped his arms around Mark's waist and rested his head on his chest. Instead of pushing him or throwing snarky remarks like he usually did, Mark pulled the younger closer and leaned his cheek on top of his head.
Jaehyun smiled before looking away.
When Doyoung entered his shared room with Mark, he didn't look surprised when he saw Donghyuck was also there. They were lying face to face, bodies pressed against each other and limbs entangled. Donghyuck rested his head on one of Mark's hand as if it was his pillow. Both of his hands fisted against his chest, curling up into a ball like a lazy kitten. Mark settled his free hand on Donghyuck's waist, gripping it loosely.
The magnae of the group always came to their room to annoy Mark and then when he's getting tired he would fall asleep on Mark's bed. Sometimes Mark would carry him back to his room because the bed was too small for two people to fit in. But at times like this, when both of them were too comfortable to even move, they managed to fit their bodies on the bed.
“Did you guys just watched a movie together again?” Doyoung asked as he stared at bags of snacks on the foot of the bed.
"Yeah. We just watched The Proposal."
Doyoung looked at their position and cringed.
“I think you should move him back to his room or you'll get cramps on your back the next morning.”
“Can't,” Mark shook his head, adjusting Donghyuck's head on his chest. The younger groaned on his sleep when Mark shifted a little. He kicked one leg free over Mark's waist and snuggled closer, locking his arms around Mark's neck.
“He'll be very grumpy if I move him.”
Doyoung sighed and shook his head. “That brat.”
Suddenly, Donghyuck let out a loud whimper on his sleep, startling both Mark and Doyoung.
“Hyung, why your skin is so hot!” he whined but instead of pushing Mark, he tilted his head up and nuzzled his nose against his neck.
Mark chuckled as he kicked the blanket off their body. “Sorry, pup. I'll turn on the AC, yeah?”
Donghyuck hummed, wriggling to get a better position. Mark looked up at Doyoung who's still watching them with calculating eyes.
“Hyung, could you please turn on the AC? Just slightly higher because he will feel cold in the middle of the night and look for a blanket again.”
Doyoung took the remote AC and raised the temperature. After that he walked over his bed and lay there.
“You love him so much.”
Doyoung said after a few heartbeats of silence. It wasn't a question. Mark didn't answer him right away. He stared down at Donghyuck's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and soft in his sleep. Mark brought his hand to his face, stroking his cheeks gently. Donghyuck made a satisfying sound on his throat, almost like a purr, and snuggled even closer. Mark smiled fondly at his antics.
“Yeah,” was all Mark could reply to Doyoung.
“That's good,” Doyoung said, letting out a sigh. “Just make sure he knows that.”
Doyoung didn't wait for Mark's answer. He turned around to face the wall because he felt like he's intruding something intimate, something he shouldn't see.
Doyoung never once questioned their relationship. Among all of the 127 members, he was the one who spent so much time with the pair. He knew what kind of relationship they had and the truth was there were so many things people didn't know about them. And as far as Doyoung knew, the boys wanted to keep it that way.
Mark was eating instant ramen noodle while watching some variety shows that was showing in the television in the living room. A few moments later Sicheng joined him, settling down next to him.
“Want some, hyung?”
Sicheng shook his head. “No, thanks. I'm full already.”
"Okay then."
They were silent for a moment before Sicheng finally spoke again.
“Mark?”
Mark mumbled his response with a mouth full of food, cheeks puffed out. “Yes, hyung?”
“I think you should tone down our skinship in front of camera,” Sicheng said carefully, watching every flicker of Mark's expressions. “I don't want Donghyuck to get jealous.”
Mark stopped chewing his food, frowning. “Why would he be jealous?”
Sicheng looked at him weirdly. “Mark, he always looks upset when you didn't pay enough attention to him. And he looks sad when you always clinging to me and say that I'm cute.”
“He's not—“
Before Mark could finish his sentence, the front door flung opened and Donghyuck appeared with a big smile.
“I'm home!~”
Sicheng watched as Mark quickly put down his cup of instant noodle on the table and got up from his seat. Donghyuck’s face lighted up when he saw Mark.
“Markie, you're still up!”
Donghyuck flung himself into his arms. Mark laughed as he caught the younger by the waist, wrapping his arms around him securely.
“Welcome home, pup,” he leaned down to kiss the top of Donghyuck's head. “How're the kids doing?”
Donghyuck pulled away a little so he could see Mark's face.
“The kids are doing fine. Chenle and Jisung still fight over who gets to use the bathroom first. Renjun and Jaemin are playing video games. Jeno isn't home yet.”
Donghyuck filled him in. He went to Dream's dorm this morning because they had a schedule together. Mark couldn't join the kids because of his MCing schedule.
“Have they eaten yet?”
Donghyuck giggled. “You sound like their father.”
Mark pursed his lips. “I just want to make sure the kids are eating enough and healthy.”
Donghyuck smiled and patted his chest gently.
“Don't worry, bubba. I cooked for them before I left. I also stock the fridge with kimchi, vegetables, milk, and lots of fruits. And yes I also texted Jeno and reminded him not to skip meals.”
Mark leaned close and playfully rubbed the tip of his nose against Donghyuck's, making the younger giggled in happiness.
“That's my pup.”
A throat-clearing sound broke their small moment and they turned to Sicheng who's already standing, ready to leave. He looked at them with a big grin on his face.
“I'm going to bed now. Don't forget to turn off the lamp or Taeyong hyung will nag at us again.”
Donghyuck smiled at him and nodded. “Will do. Good night, hyung.”
“Good night.”
Right before Sicheng entered his room, he heard them laughing and then Mark mumbled softly, “You are the cutest, pup.”
That night, Sicheng finally understood their relationship.
There was one time when NCT Dream was doing an interview and there was a question: who do you think are the most talented member? Mark didn't miss a single beat to answer.
“Instead of specifically pointing out all of his strength, I think the way he speaks and his actions really make him stand out. He is the one who always makes us laugh. When we’re cooking, working out, or even when dancing, singing, or practicing, he is the one who makes everything fun so I think he is really talented in his sense.”
Jeno and Jaemin looked at Mark because his speech got too long. Renjun who sat on the front seat kept stealing glances at their leader meanwhile Jisung tried so hard not to laugh. Chenle was confused because his Korean was still lacking but he also kept glancing at Mark because their leader couldn’t stop say Donghyuck’s name. But Mark was oblivious to their reaction and continued talking. And in the end, he looked so satisfied when he finally stopped talking.
In another occasion, Mark never forgot to mention about the younger's abilities.
“Haechanie is really good at singing. He has a very unique voice. I really like his voice.”
And he never missed a chance to compliment Donghyuck.
“Haechanie looks really cool when he's cooking.”
In an interview for Japanese magazine, he also mentioned that, “Haechan’s legs are pretty. He’s full of energy. And he’s great at cooking.”
It happened almost every single time that the members could easily predict his answer; it would always be Donghyuck this, Donghyuck that, Donghyuck, and Donghyuck.
Tonight Mark stayed at Dream's dorm because they had a schedule together tomorrow. Before going to sleep, Mark went to the kitchen to make a glass of milk. A few moments later, Jeno came in.
“Jeno-ya, why haven't you slept yet?”
“I'm thirsty, hyung.”
Jeno walked over the fridge, opened it, and grabbed a bottle of water.
“Hyung?”
Mark hummed as he sipped his milk. Jeno watched him with careful eyes.
“You complimented Donghyuck a lot today.”
“Don't I always?”
“Exactly.”
A beat of silence.
“What are you trying to say, Jeno?”
Jeno walked over Mark and stopped before him. They were almost the same eye level. Mark recognized a hint of protectiveness in his eyes. Although Donghyuck and he spent the longest time together, the connection between Donghyuck and Jeno were different. They were the best of friends and Jeno never hesitated to protect his best friend.
“You need to tell him directly.”
Mark's lips pressed into a thin line. “Tell him what?”
“What you're feeling,” Jeno elaborated. “I know you and Donghyuck are different. Both of you don't need words to understand each other. But you never once told him about your feelings, right? Don’t you think it's important to let him know? That maybe he's been waiting for you to say something so he knows that you guys are on the same page? Ever think about that, hyung?”
Mark didn't answer him, his lips pressed together. He avoided Jeno's eyes. He knew perfectly that Jeno was right. Of course he thought about the same thing too. It wasn't like he'd never tried before. He did. But words were too much for him. He didn't have a problem writing love songs but when it came to the one he loved the most, words always failed him.
“Just... try, hyung,” Jeno said again after a moment of loaded silence. “For him.”
Mark swallowed the lump on his throat and nodded. “For him.”
Jeno sighed and nodded, giving him a supportive pat on the shoulder. Right at that moment, Donghyuck’s voice broke the pregnant silent between them.
“Markie, where are you?”
Mark's demeanor instantly changed. “In the kitchen, pup!”
A few moments later Donghyuck padded over the kitchen, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He was only clad in an oversized hoodie that fell on his thighs, exposing his bared golden skin and his long legs.
“I can't sleep without you,” Donghyuck whined. Mark quickly rushed to his side, opening his arms wide and Donghyuck threw himself at him.
“I'm sorry, pup,” he said, pulling him flushed against his chest. “I was making a glass of milk. Let's go back to our room.”
Mark turned to Jeno with a quick “good night” before lifting the younger off the ground, effortlessly carrying him bridal-style to their room.
That night, Mark couldn't sleep thinking about Jeno's words.
A few weeks later, all the members of NCT were attending SMTOWN in Tokyo. The dressing room was cramped with 18 grown up adults. They were waiting for their turns to get their make-up done. Mark was watching some fancams of him when he heard a familiar boisterous laughter coming from across the room. He looked up and immediately frowned when he saw Lucas tackled Donghyuck down to the ground, climbing on top of him. He caged Donghyuck with his bigger figure and started to tickle Donghyuck's tummy, eliciting another loud laughter from him. Something unpleasant twisted in the pit of Mark's stomach. He unconsciously gripped his phone a little bit too hard until his knuckles turned white.
“Pup.”
First attempt. Donghyuck couldn't hear him. He laughed harder when Lucas found his soft spot, squirming under him.
“Puppy.”
He raised his voice a little. Yuta and Jaemin turned to Mark, raising one eyebrow as they watch the main rapper's face slowly turned red. He looked clearly pissed.
“Lee Donghyuck.”
Finally, Donghyuck stopped laughing and looked up from where he's lying on the ground. Lucas also turned to Mark and he looked confused when he saw a hint of anger in his eyes.
“Yes, hyung?”
Mark’s eyes were tight as he stared at the two of them.
“Come here, pup.”
Mark's voice was low but full of command—it was the first time he used that kind of tone and it surprised Donghyuck and some of the members who had witnessed the whole scene. And this was also the first time Mark called Donghyuck with a pet name in front of everyone. He never did that before. It was always behind a closed door.
Mark locked eyes with the younger as he patted the seat next to him. “Now, pup.”
Dazed and confused, Donghyuck pushed Lucas off of his body and slowly got up on his feet. He shuddered as Mark continued staring at him, never once breaking their eye contact. When Donghyuck finally sat down next to him, Mark quickly pulled the younger against his chest. He leaned down and pressed his cheek on top of his head, inhaling his scent deeply. Donghyuck stiffened, gripping the end of Mark's t-shirt tightly. From a peripheral peek, he saw other members watched them with curious eyes. They looked just as shocked as he was. The only ones who looked oddly satisfied and unfazed were Doyoung and Jeno.
“Mark...” Donghyuck swallowed thickly. He tried to move but that only made Mark tightened his grip around him.
“Mark, the others are watching.”
Mark hummed, drawing patterns on the small of his back with his fingers. “Let them.”
Donghyuck exhaled sharply. “B-but...”
“Sst, pup,” he shushed him gently, dropping a feather-light kiss on in his hair. “Just let me do this. Please?”
There was an unspoken meaning behind those words and Donghyuck knew perfectly well what he meant even though he didn't say it out loud. Because it has always been like that. Mark's actions were always louder than his words.
Later that day, they snuggled together on the couch with Donghyuck's legs over Mark's, the side of his hand touching the side of Mark's hand. The movie was over and the final credit rolled on the screen. Mark watched as Donghyuck pulled his legs away and got up from the seat, making his way to the kitchen to get some water.
Mark couldn’t stop looking at him. He couldn’t bear to tear his gaze away. The truth was, Mark loved Donghyuck. He loved him and the realization didn't come with crashing waves or thunderbolts. It appeared like a song on the radio or a particular blue in the sky. It dawned on him slowly like a warm sunrise. They both knew it. Mark knew Donghyuck was aware of it but it was true that Mark never said it out loud.
Donghyuck was halfway to the kitchen when Mark finally said, “I love you, pup.”
Donghyuck stopped. He slowly turned around and it was clear that he was surprised and stunned. It honestly surprised them both that Mark was the first one to say it—they knew it was supposed to be the other way around.
Mark didn't know what pushed him to say it. He just got a strong urge to say it out loud. To let everything out and tell him how he felt. That Mark loved him so much it was impossible to describe his feelings with words. He loved Donghyuck so much it hurt. And now that he finally said it, there was a rush of relief washed over him. And it made him wanted to repeat the words or took it out on the wall; I love you. I love you. I love you, puppy.
Donghyuck wordlessly turned back to his side. Mark opened his arms and pulled the younger into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist. Donghyuck clasped his hands on his back, playing with the back of his hair. The room was silent and the only sound that could be heard was the wild rhythm of their heartbeats. Their face was so close and their breaths mingled.
“I love you, pup,” Mark said, breathless. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Donghyuck's. “I love you so much, pup. You have no idea how much. I'm sorry I never said it. But you know that I love you, right?”
Donghyuck let out a small chuckle. He cupped Mark's jaw, stroking it gently.
“I know, bubba,” he said and the way he spoke was just so calm like the gentle waves on the shores. “I love you, too. You know that, too, right?”
Mark leaned down to capture his lips and Donghyuck met him halfway. The kissed were slow and intimate and deep as if they were slow-dancing. Eyes closed, heartbeat measure, nature's hum. It lasted for the length of a heartbeat, and then they stopped and kissed again, and for a moment the world only revolved around them. And their hearts stayed there, just like that.