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“I don’t know anything about blow jobs.”
Peter nearly chokes on his ice cream as Lara Jean, perched on a railing next to him, makes this completely startling statement. “Uhhh...OK?” Lara Jean can often leave him speechless, but this particular moment really takes the crown.
“I mean, I know what they are, obviously. But I don’t know like, how to do one…give one? How is it phrased?” She licks her ice cream as she looks over at him and he half expects to see her with an eyebrow arched and smirking like she’s messing with him but nope, she has her earnest face on like she just asked a completely mundane question about how to approach a homework problem.
“You uh—give a, uh…”
“…blow job” she finishes and he looks around nervously.
“Lara Jean can you maybe stop saying that when there are little kids wandering by!” She giggles a little then and yes, of course she’s just joking around. But, well, no she’s not.
“So, then how does a girl give a blow job?” He can feel the ice cream dripping on his hand because he is so bewildered how this is even happening right now he’s stopped eating.
“Covey, are you messing with me?” She keeps licking the goddamn ice cream which was distracting enough before she started on this line of questioning, “Can’t you ask Chris about this? Or your sister?”
“Margot and Josh never had sex.”
Peter’s eyes bug out, “wait, how do you know that?”
“I know it. She told me.”
He squints at her, “they dated almost as long as Gen and I did and they never had sex, or anything, ever?”
She nods, “You try having a dad who is a gynecologist and started giving you ‘the talk’ at around eight years old. His lessons stuck.”
They are quiet for a bit and some little kids do go racing by and Peter is grateful Lara Jean isn’t quizzing him about BJs for five seconds. Then, clearing his throat he says, “did they stick with you?”
She tilts her head down at him and grins, she knows what he’s really asking. “Some did, some made me more curious.” Then she gives the tip of his nose a soft sexy little kiss and hell if he’s not all in now.
“OK, so what is it you want to know?” he asks, he’s curious himself where this is all going.
“You’ve had one right?”
“Jesus Lara Jean, c’mon!” He does not want this to end up in a fight where Gen is hanging over them the rest of the day.
“Peter stop being so sensitive, I know you’re not a virgin, fine, I’m going to take that as a yes.”
He looks up at the sky and sighs, “Yes.”
“Well, what’s it like?” She’s looking at him expectantly and if anyone had told him even six months ago he and Lara Jean Covey would be having a casual conversation about blow jobs, he would have laughed until his stomach ached.
“It’s um…amazing…I don’t know what you want to hear Covey, this feels a little like dangerous ground if I say the wrong thing.”
She runs her tongue along the top edge of the cone, and he feels his pulse rattle. “Just be honest, I’m not going to get mad. I really want to know.”
He takes a bite of ice cream and lets the cold hit his teeth and the pain steels him to respond with the honesty she’s asking from him, “OK then it feels great, like really insanely great. It’s very intense and feels a little risque which makes it…” he checks her face to see if it’s hardening but she’s still looking at him warmly, “…hotter in some way. And there’s kind of a sexy power dynamic because the guy is the one getting off, but the girl is the one who is in charge of that actually happening. She has all the control and he’s the one who is vulnerable. If that makes any sense.”
She nods, “I never thought of that. That sounds really mmmhh exciting?” She ends on an up note in her voice like she wants confirmation and he nods.
“Yeah, it is.”
She wraps her lips around the plump mound of ice cream and that in conjunction with this conversation is making all the blood rush to the very part of his body she is so intent on talking about. “Is it better than sex, like you know, regular sex?”
“It’s just different”
“Different how? Is one better than the other?”
He laughs because he doesn’t think he’s ever done a comparison on coming before in his life, but here they are. “OK so it’s like, ice cream, right?” she wrinkles her nose in confusion, “Double Chocolate Fudge is really delicious, yeah? It’s rich and decadent and you know you’re gonna love it and want it the next time too” he takes a lick of his own Double Chocolate Fudge and she nods in understanding. “But you know what else is really crazy good? Mocha Almond Chip. Sometimes you get that instead and it blows your mind how delicious it is and you know that if given the choice between picking one of them, you can never actually go wrong because they are both so freakin’ delicious, you’ll be satisfied no matter what” and with that he leans towards her and steals a taste of her Mocha Almond Chip moaning “mmmmm” as he swallows and tries to stifle his grin when she starts to blush.
“Oh,” her voice is low, “that makes sense. What else is different about them?” She’s angled her body towards his and he’s not so nervous anymore to talk about this with her.
“Regular sex kinda has one sensation, I mean, it’s an amazing sensation but it’s like a…” he struggles to find a way to say this without sounding crass or stupid, “…you know once you’ve started that is how it is going to feel even though the speed or position may change until it’s time to,” he glances at her and she’s watching him so intently, “come, which has a whole other set of sensations. But oral sex there’s more variety because it’s mouth and tongue, hands and lips and the pressure can change or the suction. If I don’t know what exactly you’re gonna do each second that makes it really hot, really exhilarating.”
He and Gen never talked like this. They did the stuff, but they didn’t talk about it and now he’s seeing how talking about it would add another layer to make it really fucking amazing because if you’re telling each other exactly what it feels like or what you want to feel—the pleasure you can give each other—holy shit.
“Are you still OK with this?” he asks, just making sure they haven’t flipped to different pages.
She nods, “Can I ask you something else?”
He’s finishing off his cone so he turns towards her and grins, “Of course Covey, what else you got?”
“What’s better, spit or swallow?”
He rubs his hand over his eyes and chuckles, “I don’t know how to answer that! It’s up to you…her, I mean her,” he waves his hand at this vague imaginary blow job giving woman they are hypothetically talking about.
She’s blushing again and he loves it, “what’s the difference in how it feels for you though?” she persists.
“I guess swallowing is more like sex because you’re coming inside of her and there’s also this wild feeling of gratitude that a woman, any woman would want to do that for you. And if she doesn’t, then I don’t know, you still got a blow job, so I really feel like it’s a win-win for him and her prerogative which she wants to do.”
He reaches over and rubs along the top of her thigh, “Covey I have never seen anyone take as long to eat an ice cream cone as you,” her eyes are fixed on his face and she’s licking drips down the side of her cone and he has a flood of filthy thoughts, “you are for sure messing with me right now,” he murmurs as she shrugs and gives him her flirtiest smile.
“Maybe just a little.”
“Can I ask you something?” she nods and laces her fingers with his resting on her leg, “where did this all come from? It seems kinda sudden.”
“Oh,” she sighs, “I’ve just read so many romance novels where it’s described badly and I read too many Cosmo articles which are completely ridiculous and I don’t dare Google it so, I thought I should ask an actual boy.”
He laughs, “fair enough. Is there anything else you want to know?”
She grins, “do you think about it? With me?”
He cocks an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, what are we talking about?”
She punches him on the chest, “don’t make fun of me!”
He grabs hold of her hand and kisses her palm, “A few minutes ago you couldn’t stop saying ‘blow job’ and now you’re all shy? Girl, c’mon, ask me again, use your words” he drawls as he squeezes her hand.
“Peter, do you ever think about me giving you a blow job?” He steps inside the circle of her dangling legs.
“Lara Jean, before this I had definitely thought about it, but now that we’ve had this conversation, and I’ve seen the deliberate, sexy, delicious way you devour an ice cream cone? It’s literally all I’m going to be thinking about.”
She rests her forehead on his and her arms snake around his shoulders, “I think about it too.”
He holds her waist and gently rubs his thumbs against her. “I can’t tell you what it does to me to hear that.”
“What if I’m not good at it?” she whispers and he blows out a soft laugh.
“If you are willing to find out so much about it then you will be fantastic at it, and hey,” he lifts his head and takes her face in his hands, “it should be pleasurable for you too—it’s nothing I want you to do if you aren’t comfortable or you hate it. OK?” She nods, “I want you to want it otherwise, it’s not happening.”
Closing her eyes she kisses him and she tastes sweet and her lips are warm despite the chill of ice cream. She wraps her legs around his hips and he deepens the kiss and it feels like they have crossed into the next level of intimacy. The moment is broken by a couple of kids running past them squealing.
He helps her slide back to her feet and wraps his arm over her shoulder and she slips hers around his waist as they head back to his Jeep. “I like talking to you about this” he says and she nods.
“Me too, it makes it less overwhelming. Makes it easier for me to envision it happening.”
Reaching the parking lot he spins her and presses her against the car, “I can think of some other related topics we can talk about” his voice is low and she looks at him with eyes that glitter.
“Like you going down on me? Can we talk about that?”
He groans and rests his head on the car window for support, “Uh YES, we can absolutely talk about that, but uh, not on the way home or I will drive us off the fucking road.”
She laughs and pushes him back from her, “Do you have an ice cream metaphor for that?”
He shakes his head and laughs as he opens her door and when he gets in the driver’s seat he turns to her, “A chocolate dipped waffle cone filled with Double Chocolate Fudge and Mocha Almond Chip smothered in whipped cream, dripping with hot fudge, caramel sauce, m&m’s and half a dozen maraschino cherries is not even close to being as tasty as eating you out is gonna be.”