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Sam shouldn’t be freaking out. He really, really shouldn’t. He’s already cleaned the kitchen three times, and fluffed the pillows in the spare room at least 5 times. But here he is, worrying and wiping the living room table down again to try and get rid of a spot that’s barely even there.
“Sam… you know it’s going to be okay, right?” Raiden asks, leaning on the doorframe and staring at the anxious mess of a man.
He does know. He’s met John before. He knows John is okay with him. But there’s still that first meeting going around and around in his head, taunting him, making him feel like something’s going to go wrong over the next 3 days. “Need I remind you,” he says, still scrubbing at that one spot on the table, “What it was like meeting your extended family for the first time?”
“But that was so long ago, Sam. Everyone’s okay with you, now. You know that.”
“And yet…”
“And yet?”
“I just can’t help but think that something’s gonna go wrong, Jack. Like it did at Christmas.”
Raiden sighs and makes his way over to Sam. He crouches on the other side of the table so that he’s in Sam’s eyeline. “Sam…” he starts. “Sam, look at me.” It takes a while, but he finally does, worry etched into his face, his brows drawn high and wrinkling. Raiden smiles softly. God, he loves this dumbass. Raiden gently takes his restless, ever-scrubbing hand in his own and holds it still. “Christmas was 7 months ago. Everyone’s moved on since then. We’ve seen everyone time and time again since then. They love you.” Sam look as though he’s about to object so Raiden quickly continues. “They do,” he reaffirms, “you really think Rose would send John over here for a few days if she didn’t trust you? Have you seen how overprotective that woman is over him? She’s almost as bad as you with Beatrix.”
“Daddy’s right, Papai,” Beatrix pipes up from the other room where she’s doing her homework.
Sam manages to break a smile and give a small huff of a laugh. His shoulders relax slightly, and his face softens a little.
“What happened at Christmas wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Tensions were running high, it was everyone’s first Christmas without Dave. Things happened, arguments were had, words were said, the past was brought up. That’s just Christmas.”
Sam scoffs incredulously. “I just… I still worry about it all, y’know? Like how we met, and everything that happened last year. I don’t wanna fuck this up.”
Raiden understands completely. The feeling of having your autonomy completely taken away from you by someone else is something that never really fades. You’re always on edge in case you or someone else says or does the wrong thing, bringing that side of you back out again. But they’ve trained so long and hard, removed the nanomachines with the coding in it, come up with grounding words and actions for each other, and neither of them have had a serious incident since just before Christmas.
Raiden squeezes his hand tighter. “You won’t fuck this up. I promise you that. And even if you did, you know that I’m here for you.”
It’s hard, but Sam finally lets out a long sigh and deflates, unclenching the tense muscles in his body, and managing a weak smile. “Yeah,” he says, taking a deep breath in through his nose, “yeah, I know that.” He leans over the table, gently tugging Raiden’s body closer to his by their still interlocked hands. “I love you,” he whispers, ever so slightly brushing his lips against Raiden’s.
“I know you do,” Raiden replies, because despite the fact they’ve said it to each other so many times already, it’s sometimes difficult to say it properly. So Raiden shows him instead, leaning in to capture Sam’s lips in a proper kiss.
“Eugh, get a room,” Beatrix says from the doorway, a cheeky grin on her face.
Sam is the one to part first, a wide and toothy grin on his face as he turns his attention to their daughter, and replies, “We have a room. We have many rooms, in fact. This whole house is full of them.”
Raiden’s snickering slightly, “Sam, stop teasing her.”
“Yeah, you know what I mean!” she says, still joking around, “I mean, like, a bedroom!”
“Oh!” replies Sam, his cheeky grin getting impossibly wide, “How about that, Jack? A bedroom,” he says, turning now to wink at Raiden. “You wanna move this to Beatrix’s bedroom?”
He barely even gets the joke out before he gets a very loud and very shocked shout of “SAM!” from both his husband and his daughter.
They do move it to their bedroom, however, and also manage to get a small nap in before John is set to arrive.
Despite everything that’s been said between them and everything that they’ve gone through together, despite knowing that they’re better now and that they’re good people - good human beings - they’re both still nervous when John and Rose walk up the driveway to their house.
“Hi honey,” she says, as happy as can be, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil that both men are currently going through. She leans in to give Raiden a kiss on the cheek before turning her attention to Sam. “Heya, Sam! How’s it going?”
Sam feels like a deer caught in the headlights. In a split second it feels like he goes through all 5 stages of grief at the same time as having a minor panic attack. “Yeah it’s good.” He’s terrified. He shouldn’t be. But what if something happens? Does Rose even really like him? Does she feel like he’s stolen Raiden away from her? Does John think that too? There he is, the man who tried to kill not only Raiden but also some of Raiden’s extended family, standing here with his adopted daughter on his hip and his husband at his side. Her ex husband. John’s father who now has a new child, a new life, a new body, a new partner.
Unbeknownst to him, it’s exactly the thoughts that are swimming through Raiden’s head. Does Rose think that he ditched her for Sam? Is John envious of Beatrix, of how she gets to live with him? An adopted daughter living with her dads when his own flesh and blood barely ever gets to see him.
All of that time, all of those arguments and missed birthdays and Christmases. All of those missed firsts that most fathers get to see and be a part of… Can 3 days around his house really make up for that?
Rose, still unaware of the uncomfortable tension that the two men are feeling, leans in to coo a little over Beatrix. “And oh, my, haven’t you grown?” Beatrix blushes and shys away slightly into Sam’s neck, giggling all the while. “Soon you’ll be as tall as me!”
“And as pretty?” She asks, awe struck.
“Oh, you charmer!” Rose chuckles, leaning back and giving Sam a side eye “I wonder who she gets that from…”
Sam, trying to play it cool, manages a wink and a smirk, Rose responding with a coyish giggle that is a mixture of fake and, if she’s honest, a little real.
Raiden and John make a short sound of disgust and roll their eyes at the same time.
Rose catches it, and comments, “I knew he didn’t pick that up from me!”
The tension fades slightly as they all laugh, Raiden and John looking like they’re sulking but struggling not to laugh as well.
“Would you like to come in? We’ve just made fresh lemonade and Bolo de Rolo.” Sam barely manages to get out, before John speeds past him saying “Awesome! I call dibs on the first slice!”
Raiden rubs at his eyes and gives out an insincere sigh. “Bea, could you go and make sure he doesn’t completely destroy the kitchen please, sweetie?”
Beatrix climbs down from Sam. stands up straight, salutes and says “Aye-aye, sir,” before she also runs into the house, giggling and saying “I helped make it so I should have first slice!”
The three chuckle. “Kids,” Rose says.
“Kids,” Raiden agrees.
“I’ll go in after them,” Sam says. Unfortunately, as he’s a big kid at heart still, he also runs into the house saying “I’m the oldest so I should get the first slice,” to which the kids respond with a resounding “AWW NO FAIR!”
“She seems happy,” says Rose, absolutely beaming at Raiden.
“She’s perfect,” he responds, “I mean, she has her moments, but she’s my little girl and I adore her.”
Rose snorts, “Yeah. God, I remember when John was that age. He used to drive me up the wall but he was still so special and so lovely. You can’t really be mad at them for too long, you just have to teach them to get through those stages like the toddler years and the like. I think I still have about a year left before John starts going through his teenage stage so I’m trying to make the most of it while I can.” She giggles.
Raiden smiles, a little sad. There’s a short pause. “I wish I could have been there.” Maybe things would be different.
“I know. Me too.” It’s a somber moment for the both of them as they recall everything that went on between them during John’s earliest years, and then the divorce and Raiden not being comfortable with being alone with his own son. “But we’re all here now, and that’s what matters,” Rose says, tilting her head as if to say I forgive you, it’s not your fault.
“Yeah.” I’m sorry, thank you.
“So!” Rose starts, changing the subject. “You have my number in case there’s some sort of emergency, but I fully trust that you’ll all be fine.” She’s said this before, but she knows that they worry, and she also worries, it’s difficult not to worry over a child in this day and age. “And try to go light on all of the sugary treats!”
“I mean, I can try, but you know how Sam gets.”
“You really have to keep an eye on your husband.”
“Sometimes it’s like having a third kid.”
As if on cue there’s an uproar of laughter from the kitchen.
Rose gives a full bellied laugh at that, beaming with pride and love, Raiden manages to return the look.
“I’d best be off, my plane leaves in a few hours and I wanna get there early.” She leans in, giving Raiden a quick peck on the lips, and whispers “You look happy. So happy,” pulling back she gives Raiden a sincere look “and that makes glad.” Her eyes twinkle with pride. “Love you, honey.”
“Love you, Rose.”
And with that, she’s gone in a flash.
But…
As much as Raiden tries not to, it leaves him feeling cold. It makes him think about what could have been, about how if only he’d been there, if only he’d tried harder, maybe he’d still be with her, making her happy. The divorce was mutual, yes. They’d both done unspeakable things to one another, manipulated each other and had some very unhealthy arguments, but… But what if he wasn’t the way he was? What if, back then, he was the way he is now? What if he had someone to tell him that he wasn’t a monster, that he was still human? What if it felt real?
“You coming in, Bonito?” Sam says, coming up behind Raiden and wrapping his arms around his waist, placing a chaste kiss on the back of his neck.
Raiden shivers, tries to take that feeling in, tries to remember he’s human.
“Yeah.”
That night, when the kids are both asleep in their rooms and Raiden and Sam are getting ready for bed, there’s a moment of silence that feels different to some of the silences they’ve become accustomed to since beginning their relationship. It’s uncomfortable, and a little cold.
“Are you okay, Bonito?” Sam asks, worry evident in his voice.
Raiden takes off his shirt. “Yeah…”
“You don’t sound it,” Sam replies, taking off the last of his clothes and scooting into the bed. Raiden sighs. “You wanna talk about it?” Raiden, wearing just his boxers, also shuffles under the covers. Sam knows that when Raiden is like this, there’s 2 things he could do about it. One is to leave it and give him space, and the other is to help him to talk about it, and ground him with touch. So, he tests his luck, and takes Raiden into a loose hug, carding his hands through his hair and his fingers down his neck.
Raiden sighs, noticeably relaxing in Sam’s arms, “I just…” he starts, halting because it’s difficult to get out. “I just am glad that this day is over.” Sam continues his ministrations, only letting out a small hum of questioning, mostly so that Raiden can feel the vibration. “I don’t know. I guess I was freaking out that something awful would happen.” Sam gives a hum of understanding. “I got it in my head. My past, I mean. It got to me and I worried and I thought I’d mess up and then I started freaking about how I barely even know my own son, how little time I’ve ever spent with him and maybe he feels like I’ve abandoned him and his mother for a shiny new family, y’know?” It comes out in a rush, like one long sentence, with barely any breath.
Sam can feel Raiden’s quick pulse, a feature that still interests him. “I know,” Sam says, “I felt that too.”
Raiden looks up at him. “You did?”
“Yeah. I was worrying that John and Rose were judging me. Like maybe I’d stolen you,” Sam confirms, running his hand down Raiden’s back and stroking slowly to calm the both of them down. “I was worried John and Beatrix wouldn’t get along because I thought maybe John would be jealous and angry at Beatrix like she’s replaced him.”
Raiden hums in agreement before letting out a soft chuckle, “I think the mess in the lounge should probably be an indication that they get along swimmingly.”
They both laugh at that, snuggling closer together. The silence that they share then is much more comfortable, much warmer, and they share a short kiss. “Hey,” Sam starts gently, “you know you’re human, right?” Raiden gasps, confused as to how Sam knew that he was worrying about that, too. “And you know that what happened in the past wasn’t your fault. You were trying to protect the people that you love, your family, not only from the world but from the things that were happening to you. To you not because of you, okay? And Rose and John know that. What matters is that you’re there for them now.”
Raiden, a little stunned, just blinks in response, overcome with swelling emotions. He scoops in for a harsh kiss, needing now, in this moment, to feel. Some form of confirmation that he is indeed human, that it wasn’t his fault that he’s capable of love and being loved. The kiss turns messy, and Sam rolls on top, pressing Raiden down with his weight, drawing a short breath from him.
“Please,” Raiden says, weak, wetness in his eyes.
“You need showing?” Sam asks, lovingly stroking Raiden’s hair.
“Please,” Raiden repeats, even quieter.
Sam gives him an adoring smile, leans in, whispers “I love you,” and starts on his mission.
He takes his time, kissing all of the parts that makes Raiden feel good, revelling in the little mewls that he gives when bitten in a particularly sensitive area, delighting in the way that his body responds to even the slightest touch. “I love you,” Sam says again, “my beautiful husband.” It’s not often that they get mushy and lovey-dovey in bed, the both of them being quite dominant and controlling, but when it happens it’s perfect.
Raiden thrusts his hips up, his cock straining against the fabric of his boxers. Sam buckles, because it creates a sweet friction for him, as well. “Impatient,” he mumbles, softly touching Raiden through the fabric, giving him a gentle tug.
“Just fuck me already, Rodrigues,” Raiden replies, breathy and incapable of anger at this particular moment.
“As you wish, Rodrigues,” he replies, taking pride in calling Raiden that. Raiden rolls his eyes, but whether it’s from annoyance or because his cock is finally free and firmly in Sam’s hand, Sam doesn’t know.
Sam carefully prepares Raiden, still teasing him ever so slightly, still repeating that he loves him, that everything he’s feeling is human, that he’s proud of him. When he slides in there’s a mutual groan, as they both feel a completeness, a sense of being whole.
It’s not too long before Sam’s need for Raiden starts creeping up on him, threatening to take him over, making him want to just fuck and cum. But Raiden, oh, Raiden. In this moment he looks so perfect. He’s sweating, red with hickeys, tears slipping from his closed eyes, his hair mussed in every direction, and he’s squirming and moaning so perfectly that the other side of Sam never wants this to end.
He just wants to show how important Raiden is, and how much he truly loves him.
“I want…” Raiden starts, cutting off with a gasp of pleasure and embarrassment.
Sam grumbles out a questioning sound in response. “Tell me, bonito.”
Raiden moans at the nickname. Their special silly nickname that he’s grown so attached to. “I want to be yours,” he finally lets out, breathless.
“You are mine,” Sam responds, linking their hands together so that he can fiddle with the ring on Raiden’s finger.
“I mean physically. I want to belong to you. I want to know that I’m worth it. That someone loves me.” It’s said between many breaths, broken up by cries of pleasure.
“There’s not a lot of you left to leave hickies on but I’m sure I can try,” Sam responds with a joking tone before leaning down to suckle at the last remaining blank space on Raiden’s neck.
Raiden, completely lost to the pleasure, not just from the act itself, but from knowing that he’s not broken, that he’s not a monster, and that he’s wanted, slips out a very breathy “cum in me.”
“Fuck,” Sam responds, his thrusts stuttering. “Anything,” he promises in Raiden’s ear, “anything you want you can have.”
Their thrusts become frenzied but no less passionate, no less loving, as they both near their climaxes, filling the room with their breathy moans, Sam’s head pressing against Raiden’s as they stare into each other, kissing when they can, still holding hands.
“I love you,” Raiden confesses. “I love you,” he repeats, soft, letting out a breath and all of his built up tension as he cranes his neck back and cums almost silently, eyes wide, like he can’t quite believe it.
Sam’s not far behind, burying himself as deep as he can get, and cumming hard, filling Raiden up.
It feels… perfect. Like they’re complete. Like they’re jagged jigsaw pieces that, with a little work, somehow manage to fit perfectly together.
The cleanup is lazy but quick, the both of them limbless, satiated and sleepy. Quickly enough they’re back in their embrace, fingers stroking hair and arms and backs, legs tangling, sloppy kisses shared. And they drift off into sleep, knowing that they’ll make it through the next 2 days just fine as long as they’re together.
And over those next few days, Raiden will endeavour to be the Dad that he never was to John. He wants to make sure that John knows that he loves him. It’ll take longer than those 2 days, but Raiden knows that it’s a start, and that’s what matters the most. He manages to fall asleep with a smile on his face.