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It was late even by Tai’s standards, nearing two in the morning, but here he was anyway, still lying awake in bed staring blankly at his ceiling. He’d tossed and turned, switching between staring at his scroll and trying to hold his eyes closed to will himself to sleep for the last several hours. So far, nothing was even remotely working; he knew what was wrong, but his bed being far too empty wasn’t really anything he could really fix in the dead of night. With a frustrated sigh, he sat up and rubbed his face, pressing the pads of his fingers against his eyelids. Unsure if he would be able to function in the morning after facing down yet another sleepless night, he gently shuffled out from under his blankets and let his legs slide over the edge of the bed. Once he found his house shoes and shuffled them on, Tai stood with a grunt, still rubbing at his eyes as he carefully made his way out of his room in the dark.
Flicking the light on in the kitchen, he walked, still a little stiff from lying down, to the refrigerator, reaching up on top to grab a box of medicine. He wasn’t very fond of taking sleeping medication, but sometimes it was the only way he was going to get any rest, and it seemed tonight was just one of those nights. Tai had always had a soft spot for the more gentle, domestic parts of being with someone, whether it be in sitting thigh to thigh on the couch to watch television or sleeping pressed close together for warmth and comfort during the night. Now that his bed was empty, nightfall was almost something he dreaded, knowing the ache of lying down alone would haunt him if he let it.
He yawned as he flipped open the lid of the box, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes that made him blink several times. Pulling the bottle out, Tai frowned; shaking it yielded no noise - it was empty. He groaned and slumped forward against the front of the refrigerator, dropping the bottle and box to the floor to be dealt with later when he was more coordinated. For a while he just stayed that way, forehead pressed to the cool stainless steel and trying to figure out some other way to get to sleep at least at a semi reasonable time, but a light sort of knocking noise caught his attention. Furrowing his brows, he pressed his ear to the refrigerator, listening for the sound again and wondering if he could fix it himself or if he needed to just buy a new one. The sound came again but louder and decidedly not from any of his kitchen appliances; it was from the living room.
“Oh, who the hell..?” Tai grumbled as he shuffled to the front door in just his pyjama pants and house shoes, figuring if someone wanted to knock on his door at two in the morning then they could just deal with him being half naked.
As he approached the door though, he couldn’t see anyone through the window there, and there was now a scratching noise instead of a knocking. Despite his lack of sleep and the time of night, he perked up immediately, balling a fist as he placed his other hand on the doorknob. He hesitated for just a moment to take a breath and steady himself for whatever or whoever might be rattling around outside his house and then jerked the door open, raising his fist.
“...Qrow?!” Kneeling on the doorstep and fumbling around with a small pot of flowers next to the door was Qrow, now looking up at Tai with confusion - as if he had any right to be the confused one.
“What are you doing to my marigolds, Qrow?” Tai lowered his hand to his side again, no longer fearing an intruder.
“Oh, uh… When did you move the spare key? Thought you kept it under here…” Qrow finally responded, standing and straightening his shirt. He wobbled slightly where he stood, eyes glazed over and face flushed; Tai’s heart dropped, sighing at the other’s state as anxiety tightened his chest. It had been a long while since the other had showed up at his house so late. He’d almost been able to convince himself they were done doing this, but here Qrow was, drunk as ever with his eyes flicking distractedly over Tai’s bare chest and arms and a look like hunger in his eyes.
“Hasn’t been there for a while… Why are you here?” He already knew why Qrow was there, but asking was all a part of the game they played, dancing around the real reasons for their actions to avoid the need for confrontations later. Tai leaned against the door and trained his eyes on the ground, warring with himself and unsure what outcome he’d prefer. There was some comfort to be found in the familiarity of the situation, but he knew there was also hurt to be had.
“I, uh, well… I mean, your house was closer, and I’m a little drunk… Would you mind if I crash on your couch?”
There it was: the clear invitation, thinly veiled in a brittle excuse. Tai chewed his lip for a moment, trying to decide if he was willing to go through it all again for the hundredth time.
“Plus, I could, y’know… I could stick around for a while tomorrow to see the girls. It’s been a minute since I hung out with ‘em; kinda miss ‘em.”
Qrow always had known all the right things to say, the right buttons to press to make Tai cave, playing his cards in just the right way to worm his way into his home. Tai was backed into a corner now; if he sent him on his way, he would end up the bad guy, keeping a loving uncle from his nieces. Plus, he had been sure to dangle the promise of more time, of tomorrow, too; Tai had always been a sucker for empty promises, and tonight was no different.
“...Yeah. C’mon in, and I’ll… get you a blanket,” he said, finally looking back up at Qrow with a sad smile before stepping out of the way to let him in.
Qrow walked to the couch on unsteady legs, flopping down and almost tipping over once he reached it. Tai watched the whole thing from the door, sighing for the thousandth time and locking the door back. He made his way to the closet under the stairs to rummage around until he found the blanket set aside specifically for nights like this, though the thing never really saw much use regardless.
“Thanks for lettin’ me stay over, Tai,” Qrow mumbled, fixing him with that look of his - all moody and piercing. There was a small shrug in response.
“It’s nothing, Qrow. You know I never mind you stopping by.” It was a lie, and they both knew. Tai was deeply troubled by their game but unsure of how to stop playing, and Qrow, well… he wasn’t sure how Qrow felt. That in and of itself was most of the issue.
He unfolded the blanket and draped it over the other now lying across his couch, long legs either bent up or dangling off the side. There was a moment where Tai expected something, anything. This was usually when it happened, the touch or the question or even a look, but nothing happened, and for a moment, Tai thought maybe this was a genuine visit.
“Good night, then…” He tried not to let himself sound disappointed, pushing the feeling back down into the recesses of his mind. Qrow only mumbled something unintelligible and waved vaguely at him, so he turned and went back to his room, sitting up on the edge of his bed and slumping forward to rest his head in his hands. He wondered how and why he kept finding himself in these situations, trying to remember a time when things were different between the two men. He had nothing against Qrow; in fact, he cared a great deal for the other. Ever since they first met nearly twenty years prior, they’d been close friends, going through rough patches of course as any friendship did, but they had grown significantly closer after Summer passed away. The other had practically moved in, staying over for weeks at a time to help Tai with the girls and to make sure he was taking care of himself, but the lure of numbness in a bottle had drawn him in, and now it wouldn’t let him go. Tai didn’t really think the drink changed him or their relationship - it only amplified the feelings that were starting to bud naturally - but regardless, Qrow’s recklessness with his feelings hurt.
With a defeated groan, he kicked his house shoes off and fell back into bed, aggressively yanking the blankets up around him. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. He just wished they could sit down and talk about things instead of surprise visits in the dead of night.
Just as Tai had closed his eyes and finally started to feel like he might be able to drift off to sleep, his bedroom door clicked open behind him, floor creaking beneath the weight of someone creeping into his room. He bit his lip as his heart did backflips in his chest, listening to the other fumble the door shut again and then quietly inch over to the bed. The blankets rustled as they were pulled back, and a weight dipped the bed behind him while he held his eyes shut, waiting. Finally, long, cold fingers pressed against his back, trailing down his shoulder blade and around to his side; the almost hesitant touch was followed after a moment with the sudden press of an equally cold and now bare chest, an arm wrapping around Tai’s side.
“Tai…” Qrow’s voice was almost uncharacteristically soft as he nuzzled his forehead against the back of the blond’s neck. Tai finally opened his eyes, looking sadly at nothing in particular. When the nuzzling didn’t prompt a response, Qrow switched to pressing gentle kisses along his shoulder and neck, arm wrapped around him moving up to shake him slightly.
“Tai, please-” He stopped short as Tai finally rolled over and pressed him into a kiss, a warm hand moving up to cup the other’s face. He never could say no to Qrow.
He relaxed back against his pillow as Qrow leaned down over him, hands roaming over each other, mussing hair and caressing skin as they reacquainted themselves to one another. He tasted like alcohol and stale breath, and he was cold despite being flushed, but Tai was drunk enough himself on the feeling of lips pressed against his, of the hands on his chest, of the skin of Qrow’s back under his palms. One of those long legs swung clumsily over him, and Tai moved his hands down to the other’s hips, thumbs gently stroking over the prominent bones there. Qrow’s hips rolled down against his, pulling stuttering gasps from both of them, and Tai pressed his tongue forward into the other’s mouth. The noise Qrow made in response made his head spin.
It didn’t take long before the hands running hungrily over Tai’s chest and arms moved lower to tug at the waistband of his pyjama bottoms. Qrow’s movements were sloppy, refusing to part his lips from Tai’s to attempt to focus on what his hands were trying to do, so he just ended up fumbling ineffectively between them and inadvertently teasing. Having little patience at the moment, Tai huffed through his nose and gripped the other’s waist firmly, flipping them over to reverse the position and situate himself between Qrow’s legs. When he pulled away from the other, they were both panting, eyes half lidded and glazed over. Tai leaned in close enough that their noses touched, bringing one hand up to delicately move a stray bit of the other’s hair out of his face.
“This is the last time…” he whispered, voice hoarse and quiet and full of emotions he didn’t quite have the words for.
At the declaration, Qrow’s eyes seemed to genuinely focus on Tai’s face for the first time that night before clouding over with tears he wouldn’t let fall, breath stuttering.
“...Yeah…”
Tai closed the distance again, kissing Qrow hard, biting at his lips as he moved his hands both down to the front of his jeans. Rolling his hips forward against the other’s ass, he lingered to palm him through his pants for several moments, feeling more than hearing his soft, needy sounds against his lips, before deftly undoing his jeans. He pulled back some to grip the sides of Qrow’s pants and tug them down his legs before tossing them into the floor. Pausing, Tai took a moment to appreciate the expanse of pallid skin now visible before bringing his hands up to caress the other’s thighs.
With a soft glance up at Qrow, he leaned down to press sloppy, open mouthed kisses along his stomach, trailing downwards towards his hips. Qrow’s hands moved to run through Tai’s hair, broken gasps and half moans spilling from him as teeth brushed over and sank into the skin over his hip bones. The blond sucked dark bruises onto Qrow’s skin as he went, moving down to lift one of the other’s legs up to mark the inside of his thigh as well.
“T-Tai, fuck- Nnh…” The sound of his name on the other’s lips, whispered so urgently, finally ended his teasing; he moved down to gently run his tongue along the underside of the other’s hard length, pulling a low grunt from the man underneath him. Qrow’s hands returned to his hair, gripping it lightly, as he took him into his mouth. Tai devoted several moments to focusing only on the head, sucking and licking gently over it before letting his eyes fall shut as he started going down on him in earnest. The hands in his hair tightened as the other’s noises grew slightly in volume and frequency; Tai’s name was a recurring theme, and it made his cock twitch, picking up the pace a little to keep the sounds coming.
It didn’t take much of this to have Qrow shifting around to reach over to the bedside table, grabbing blindly for the drawer handle and pulling it open. Tai pulled off him, letting his now slick, wet cock fall back against his belly, and crawled back up over him to pin Qrow down and kiss him again. He fisted his hands in the other’s dark hair, heavy breaths mingling as he pressed their bodies together. Somehow despite the distraction of Tai’s lips and skin against his, Qrow managed to fumble around in the drawer until he found what he was looking for, pulling the bottle of lube out to press against the blond’s arm. Tai took it with a huff of anticipation, popping the cap off to squeeze some out onto his fingers. He dropped the bottle onto the blanket that had been shoved to the other side of the bed before reaching down between the other’s legs to gently press against his hole.
Qrow’s back arched slightly as he pressed a finger inside, hissing out a curse and squeezing his eyes shut; Tai sat back for a while just watching him pant and groan and grasp at the sheets, eyes dark and wanting. Impatient for more, he slid a second finger in alongside the first, crooking them up and making the man under him see stars as he leaned forward to run the flat of his tongue over a sensitive nipple. Qrow’s hands gripped at his back, digging nails in to leave red lines in their wake, as he gasped out the other’s name again, louder than before.
Tai trailed kisses over to the other side of the other’s chest to evenly distribute his attention, curling his fingers again before adding a third. The stretch that came with the additional digit was enough to make Qrow’s nose scrunch and brows furrow, giving a grunt that clearly told the blond to wait a moment. His hand stilled as he let the other adjust, lips roaming aimlessly over his chest now to leave more purple and red hickeys in his wake. The pause in movement, the gentle panting of their breaths nearly in sync, the feeling of Qrow so soft and pliant beneath him were all almost overwhelming, reminding Tai just what they were doing, giving his mind room to wander. He thought about every secreted kiss, every hushed word, every clandestine touch; he thought about all of the ways they hurt each other with their broken pieces and sharp edges.
“Please,” Qrow breathed, pulling Tai out of his own head and back into the moment. “Ah- fuck, Tai, I need you…”
Easing his fingers out, Tai sat back once more to push his pyjama bottoms down around his thighs, moving to grab the bottle of lube again, but Qrow picked it up first, leaving him to rest his hands on the other’s knees while he squeezed some out into the palm of his hand. Qrow closed his fist around the blob of lube both to spread it over his entire hand and to warm it slightly before wrapping his slicked hand around Tai’s length, stroking him firmly and quickly. The blond sucked in a breath through his teeth, shutting his eyes and balling his fists; he could feel Qrow’s gaze on his face, but he wouldn’t open his eyes to meet it, not sure if he was more afraid of what he might find there or what might be missing. He bucked his hips forward slightly into the other’s fist a few times to draw out the feeling before reaching down to pull his hand away. Leaning forward slightly and steadying himself on one arm, he lined himself up and pressed against the other’s slick hole.
If Qrow had been pushing it with the volume before, he was most certainly too loud now, and Tai draped himself back over him to press their lips together again, trying to muffle him as he eased himself inside a little at a time. Once he bottomed out, he stilled, resting his forehead against Qrow’s and trying to catch his breath. Qrow opened his eyes from where they had been screwed shut to look up at Tai, and for just a moment, their eyes met and everything was still. There were so many things that Tai wanted to say, so many feelings he wanted to tell Qrow about - feelings he could almost see reflected back in the sad red eyes looking up at him. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t make any sound come out, looking away from the man under him for a moment before huffing and giving up completely to bury his face in the crook of Qrow’s neck.
“I’m sor-” Tai snapped his hips forward and set into a quick and rough pace, cutting off the apology the other was trying to give. He didn’t want to hear it; it was a damn lie, and it was insulting that Qrow would try to pull that shit on him. If he was sorry, they wouldn’t be here.
Turning his face slightly, he mouthed along the other’s neck, careful not to leave marks where they would be visible. The pace he’d set and the feeling of his teeth pressing into the juncture of his neck and shoulder brought Qrow’s noises back in full force, drunkenly unaware or perhaps uncaring of how loud he was. With a grunt, Tai brought up the hand not still slick with lube to clamp over the other’s mouth, quieting him significantly. Qrow grabbed at the sheets under him, the man on top of him, anything he could to try to keep himself grounded as Tai fucked him into the mattress, toes curling as he drew closer and closer to the edge. After all of the teasing they’d both been through and being apart from each other for weeks, neither of them expected to last long, and sure enough, Tai was nearing the end of his rope, sitting back some to reach his free hand down between the two and wrap his still slick fist around Qrow’s cock. It only took a handful of strokes to send him reeling over the edge, coming over Tai’s hand and onto his belly as he clamped down on the length inside him, whimpering under the hand over his mouth.
“Hnn-! Ah, fuck- Qrow-” The sudden tightness coupled with the sights and sounds of Qrow coming undone beneath him had Tai following suit moments after, spilling himself inside the other. After a few more stuttering thrusts, he stilled and slumped forward onto Qrow, panting and covered in a fine layer of sweat. They lied there for a long while, trying to catch their breath and enjoying the afterglow of their tryst, all the while knowing it might be the last time they ever hold each other.
Eventually, they both got too sensitive to stay that way, Tai pulling out and rolling over after moving the bottle of lube back into the nightstand. Lying on his back next to Qrow in the dark quiet of his bedroom, Tai closed his eyes and tried to think of something to say, wondering how the hell he could even begin to express himself. He wanted to tell him that this didn’t have to be the last time, that this didn’t have to be all they were to each other; he wanted to say that he cared about him and to say that he didn’t want to hurt each other anymore. He wanted to tell Qrow just how comfortable it was to lie here with him in the dark, bathing in post-coital bliss, but the other was sitting up. He was rubbing his face and moving off the bed, pulling his pants back on. Tai had so many things to say, too many; none of them wanted to come out, catching in the back of his throat and dying before he could give voice to any of them.
Qrow hesitated on his way to the door, still wobbling and off-balance; he looked like he wanted to say something, wanted to turn around, but then, Tai supposed that might have just been wishful thinking on his part. Because Qrow didn’t turn around. He didn’t say a word, just walked carefully out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. Tai lied there for a moment, listening to the other make his way down the stairs and across the house. There were noises from the living room, footsteps and clattering, and then there came the sound of the front door shutting. Qrow was gone again, and Tai found himself reminded why he had been so hesitant to let him come in in the first place. Heart aching in his chest and head full of sorrow, he wrapped himself around the pillow the other had been lying on, tears he couldn’t fight anymore spilling over into the fabric until, at long last, Tai fell asleep.