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Sometimes Johnny wished he wasn’t a prince. He couldn’t be ungrateful, he was aware there were people in his kingdom that would demand his head if he ever expressed any such emotions. He knew he was blessed, but what the people didn’t know is that he sacrificed many things to protect them.
Arranged marriages and royalty came hand in hand. There wasn’t a single kingdom in the nation that didn’t set up their royal children for marriage, whether it was for peace deals or simple alliance reasons. And while Johnny was fully aware that this was business as usual, nothing could stop his heart from yearning for a real, passionate lover and not a peace deal.
At the heart, he was a hopeless romantic. He wanted quiet walks in the palace gardens and heated debates about books with someone who was just right for him. He wanted to love and be in love. He knew that never worked out when you’ve been set up to marry a girl you’ve never even met for the sake of the sovereignty and tradition.
He was sure Jieqiong would be a wonderful girl. He’d heard many things about her. They’d be great partners, but Johnny wasn’t too sure they’d be anything more than two people who were thrown in a relationship over fifteen years ago. It didn’t sit right with him at all. Johnny wanted butterflies and blushes and people to remind him that he’s staring a little too fondly.
He sighed as he sunk further into his cushioned throne, anxious and filled with the black threads of dread curling around his heart.
“Sit up,” Taeyong hissed. Taeyong was Johnny’s right hand and advisor, sharp and fierce. Johnny liked to joke that Taeyong was better suited to be the prince over him and Taeyong would smack his head and tell him to push his shoulders back.
“They’re not even here,” he whined and Taeyong looked at him in the way he did when he wasn’t going to put up with Johnny, eyes glinting. Johnny shuddered and sat up straight like a board, tilting the crown on his head back into the proper position.
“Do you think they’ll have someone my age?” Donghyuck piped up from the other side. While Johnny sat to the right of his father, Donghyuck was situated at his mother’s left.
“They have a boy who was born the same year as you,” Johnny’s mother supplied and the little prince grinned. Johnny sighed again. Donghyuck was twelve, he didn’t have to worry about the harsh realities of being a prince just yet. He didn’t have to be worried about arranged marriages and finding true love. Donghyuck had to worry about his wooden sword collection and making friends with his future brother in law.
“What?” Donghyuck bit towards Johnny as the elder hadn’t realized he was glaring at the boy.
“Nothing,” he replied and turned his gaze back to the large doors that guarded the throne room. The red carpet that covered the floor seemed to bubble like lava the longer time went on. His anxieties ate away at his heart little by little. But time went on and soon, those large mahogany doors were pushed open with the sound of trumpet fanfare. Johnny felt Taeyong stiffen at his side and Johnny rose up from his seat just as the rest of his family did. He waited as the trumpeteers marched inside and the king walked in his daughter on his arm, two boys trailing them. Johnny smiled gracefully, charming as ever.
Jieqiong looked beautiful, dazzling in her red dress as it brought out the ivory of her skin and her chocolate locks. But what caught Johnny’s attention was behind her.
Standing with confidence was Prince Kun, if Johnny recalled correctly. His presence oozed elegance and power, soft features be damned. His dark blue fitted suit and red cape that hung off his shoulder enhanced the regal energy he put out. Johnny had met many princes in his time, each with their own energies. There was Ten from the South who was clearly not interested in his position and Jaehyun from the East who didn’t demand much attention and seemed small under his crown.
“Welcome to the kingdom of Neo,” Johnny’s father greeted, and Johnny tuned him out for his speech. Kun’s eyes lifted to Johnny’s and he could feel his heart jump in his throat. They were intense, scrutinizing him and Johnny felt like we was drowning. Johnny’s breath caught as he held Kun’s gaze before relenting and shifting his eyes towards the princess. She was also looking him over but her eyes were much softer than her older brother’s. She had very pretty eyes, Johnny noted. They made him feel safe, but in a way that told him that she’d be good company.
“It’s a pleasure to be here,” the other king announced with a polite smile. Johnny risked looking at Kun again, but regretted it as he watched the prince smile so pleasantly.
Johnny had long since had his bisexual awakening, he knew what he was feeling stir in his chest, but he didn’t think it would happen as Johnny was being set up to marry Kun’s sister .
“We’re excited to host you.” Johnny recollected himself as he spoke. Kun’s attention flicked back to Johnny and stood straighter. The edges of Kun’s lips perked upwards and Johnny didn’t know how he would survive the wedding planning process with Kun around and looking like that .
“We’re excited to see how this goes,” Kun replied, and Johnny damn near fell on the floor.
Johnny let out a long breath as he slumped against the balcony. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, the cold air biting his skin to wake him up in the darkness of the night. It had been a long day of introductions and conversations, business and showing Jieqiong around the castle while Kun watched him. He was exhausted. He wanted to call out for Taeyong and let his best friend massage him, but Taeyong was tired as well.
Johnny should go back to his room, even Donghyuck and Renjun had tired themselves out from playing all day. Jieqiong had long since retired to sleep, Johnny had escorted her personally to her room. She had tiptoed and kissed his cheek softly before disappearing into the soft light coming from her room. Johnny’s heart didn’t skip.
“Night owl?” An all too familiar voice called out. Johnny jumped and turned around to see Kun leaning against the balcony door. Johnny smiled at him tiredly, his heart picking up speed.
“Enjoying yourself here?” Kun pushed off the stone and sauntered over to where Johnny was leaving over the ledge.
“I’d say so,” he admitted. Johnny hummed and they fell into a comfortable silence, but Johnny’s stomach was turning.
“Are you a night owl?” Johnny asked. Kun turned his head towards him and smiled softly. Johnny felt his ears redden.
“Yeah, definitely. Stay up late and the sleep in. You never answered me.” Johnny huffed a laugh.
“I’d say the same.” They fell into a hushed conversation afterwards, talking about the differences between the two kingdoms.
It was easy to be around Kun, Johnny found out. Sure the butterflies never settled, but he didn’t focus on them as much as the softness of Kun’s voice as he spoke, the little Western lilt in it that was so endearing. Johnny found himself smiling so hard his cheeks hurt, Kun smiled even more. They drifted closer to each other as well, and Johnny found that Kun was shivering. Johnny stepped back and took off the cape hanging off his shoulders and placed it over the other prince’s shoulders.
“You’re so warm,” Kun mumbled and Johnny chuckled lightly.
“I’m used to this weather, I’m like a human heater in comparison to you,” he teased. Kun’s fingers curled tightly against the material of Johnny’s cape and pulled it closer to him, closing his eyes gently and looking upwards toward the sky, where the stars twinkled beautifully. Johnny couldn’t help but watch as the moon illuminated Kun’s profile, outlining his cute nose and long eyelashes. Johnny wanted to kiss that nose, cold and red from the air.
“God arranged marriages are so stupid,” Kun grumbled. Johnny laughed out loud, mildly shocked at the outburst, but not surprised. Kun wanted to do revolutionary things for his kingdom, of course he would disapprove of the arcane methods of matchmaking.
“That they are. But Jieqiong seems nice enough, I don't think we'll hate each other.” Johnny almost missed the way Kun's brows twitched downwards.
“Don't you think marriage should be more than just what's best for your kingdom, though?” Kun was facing Johnny fully now and all of a sudden the butterflies because eagles, soaring wildly in his gut.
“I mean, yeah. I've always believed marriage should be about love but I'm in no position to do anything about it. I just won't force my child or children to go through it,” Johnny explained, hoping his voice would be steady as he spoke. Kun stepped closer to Johnny, eyes on fire like they were earlier. The moon above them made them glint in a way that mesmerized Johnny.
“And what if you fall in love with someone else?” Kun breathed, all too close to Johnny's body. Johnny looked panicked for a moment and Kun smiled at him sweetly. “Surely you don't endorse infidelity.”
Johnny breathed in deeply. “I don't.” Kun stepped back, his hand briefly touching Johnny's and it shocked him. Kun's touch was like an electric spring, refreshing and sweet but also a dose of reality.
The reality was that Johnny was trapped. He was trapped within the confines of society's and his parents’ expectations. He didn't want to be, but his wings were clipped and he was stripped of his heart, forever feeling it but never being able to attain it. He wasn't allowed to feel or it would jeopardize everything. Peace deals, trades, means of ending wars… if he ignored the rules, life wouldn't go his way.
Kun wasn't part of those rules. How did the Prince of Neo's westernmost ally play a part in Johnny's equation? The answer was, he didn't. Kun wasn't a variable to be taken into account from the beginning. Kun wasn't supposed to see the equation in general. And yet–
Kun had made himself an constant in Johnny's equation.
The secrets of the universe were about as easy to obtain as justice. The stars twinkled brightly as two princes held hands under the night sky, not quite together, but just as close as they needed to be. Hardships awaited, but something about the way Kun's eyes softened told Johnny that he would be okay.
And so the night was their keeper.