Archive of Our Own

Since Alex was young, he always had a preference with the color blue, it was one of the few constants in his life. Cities, songs, everything changed but there was always a blue sky and sometimes even bluer feelings, and that grounded him. Yet, he never associated people with it, because he couldn’t see people as something permanent.

He liked to feel every curve of each one of his lovers as a ritual he repeated over and over again, until the context and meaning blurred to a dull grey. He toured nonstop. He wrote meaningless words in breasts, necks and backs. However, none of this was enough. He tried so hard to find a genuine, long lasting satisfaction in dirty bathroom stalls and five star hotel rooms, but he’d always come out with an empty heart.

Then, he met Louis Tomlinson and with him, for the first time, the color blue took the form of a person.

--

The first time Alex saw Louis, his name had a different ring, the way he looked at him was sharper, more distant but he was as fascinating as ever.

 Alex’s entire body was buzzing with excitement that night. They had just won not one but two BRIT Awards. They were consider officially famous, from that small gig in Sheffield to there. People would say they had already made it, and he was celebrating that, because they deserved it.

He felt as if everyone there were elated, the nigh tasted like giddiness and expectations. Louis on the other hand was the epitome of aloofness mixed with neat looks and delicate movements. A wave of jealousy with a hint of attraction washed through his body.

Louis had it so easy, was the thing. He was in a boyband who never had to fight for a gig or a bit more of time in the studio. Everything was given to them, with zero effort. They all were just spoiled kids who didn’t know how privileged they were, who came from a show with fabricated and most probably fake sob stories to gain the love of the audience. Alex knew better than to get friendly with people like him. Maybe Louis Tomlinson was beautiful but sometimes a pretty face and a heavenly body wasn’t enough for Alex.

“Hi, rockstar.”

In retrospective, Alex should have seen it coming. One could only get away with ‘casually looking’  another person as intensely as he did for so long.

 “I saw you staring at me for like ten minutes and decided it was time to talk to you,” Louis said, voice full of mirth. “I’d say I’m a big fan of your work but I’m kind of afraid of being murdered right now.”

Up close, Louis Tomlinson was definitely a remarkable sight. He was wearing a jet black suit that tightly hugged his small fit frame to perfection. He sported an innocent-like expression that made a nice contrast against his mischievous smile. Alex didn’t stand a chance.

“Are we okay?”

‘Are we?’

One of the biggest problems with Louis was that he wasn’t only gorgeous but also extremely charming. In Alex books, that was a really dangerous combination.

“Of course, I’m just— surprised you guys are here,” was Alex’s daft reply. Louis looked at him oddly suppressing a smile.

“Here as in… the BRITs? Where we were also nominated?” Alex passed a hand over his forehead.

‘God, why is it so hot in here?’

 “No, well—I mean—.“ He was interrupted by a loud full body laugh from Louis.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to give me an explanation,” Louis looked so at ease and slightly amused. “I actually came here to ask if you and your bandmates wanted to come with us to take some drinks after this.”

Alex paused for a second, the logical response would’ve been ‘Thanks but no thanks, we are just fine on our own, we don’t need unnecessary snobby after-parties.’ But he had never seen a blue quite as stunning as the one in Louis’ eyes and if he was being honest with himself, he would love to see them for a little bit longer. So he just did what any coherent man would’ve done in the presence of a pleading Louis Tomlinson.

He said yes.

Boybands’ parties weren’t as decadent or snobbish as Alex pictured them. A cozy semi dark bar with only them and a few more friends wasn’t what he had in mind when Louis invited him –well, them-- to get some drinks.

Turns out, those boys weren’t as bad as he imagined. Truly, they were actually pretty smart and interesting. And by ‘those boys’, Alex meant Louis Tomlinson. Because ever since the moment he sat beside him on the couch sipping that drink, which looked as if it was more sugar than alcohol, he couldn’t pay attention to anything else.

They talked all night, from music and lyrics to movies and documentaries. It was so odd having so many things in common with a person who was, in appearance, so different to him. Louis’ mind fascinated and excited Alex in a way he had never felt before and he couldn’t get enough of it. In just one night, he was completely smitten.

“Do you want to go back home, babe?”

He saw someone whisper to Louis, hand seated on his shoulder almost possessively. It took him a few seconds to figure it who he was in the dark corner they were now situated. Then, everything stilled.

‘Does Louis have a boyfriend? Of course he does, just look at him. Fuck.’

Alex had a gut feeling about this. He knew that, if he was a smart man, he should have immediately backed off. He knew those moves, those kinds of touches. There was history between them.

 But no one had ever said that Alex was an emotionally smart man. So he asked anyway. “Do you live together?”

“Yes.” Louis’ friend replied at the same time Louis said “Not anymore.”

‘That is a yellow flag’

Louis laughed and said, “We don’t, we live close to each other though.”

“And I spend almost all the nights at his house, so it’s like I never moved out.” His friend shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

‘And that is a red one’  but at that point, Alex couldn’t care less.

“Louis made a deal with me,” he tried to sound unbothered and clueless to the situation. “He promised to drink something other than pure sugar tonight. I think he’s staying.”

The thing about history is, you can always rewrite it. And Alex was really good at doing so.

--

Louis laughed unabashedly, his whole aura demanded to be admired. And who was Alex to deny him the pleasure. He threw his head back in laughter, long neck glistening with sweat; he suddenly realized he could make an anthology about that single drop of sweat falling down his collarbone. He craved to touch and lick but this wasn’t the first time he felt that way. What was new was the strong need to connect with the person causing said reactions. Alex not only craved for his physical touch but needed to know what else made him laugh, what made him giggle, what made him smile and most importantly, how could he become the person to give him all of that.

“What’s on your mind, rockstar?” Louis’ eyes fluttered as if the drinks were finally hitting him.

“You.” Alex was always proud about his straightforwardness, but that time his answer was just the tip of the iceberg.

‘Can I keep him?’

Alex knew that dance, he loved it, but he also knew if he followed Louis to his room, he’d want to stay until those clear blue eyes told him that it was time to leave. He realized he didn’t want a distraction, nor wanted to be one.

 He then shifted his gaze to Louis’ friend, who stubbornly stayed even after Alex clearly dismissed him. He knew his name, everyone knew his name, however his prideful side refused to acknowledge it.

´He’s taking him home, after all this, he’s taking him home.’

“Wanna get out of here?” Louis breathed into the side of Alex’ neck, licking his lips and touching the exposed skin with his tongue. He was so desperate to get a moment alone with him but he knew he should wait if he wanted more. Maybe ask him out for some more drinks the day after that, ‘Whatever you want, whatever you need.’ Instead, a rough “Sure.” fell from his lips.

He saw the beginning of a smirk on Louis’ friend’s mouth. He also knew Alex made the wrong choice. Things weren’t supposed to go like that.

But it was all blue, anyways.

---

He found out that night that Louis kissed like he laughed, demanding and with no shame, he takes, takes, takes, but Alex still wanted to give him everything. Although, they were in a hotel room and that night wasn’t about that anymore. The night was only about skin on skin and Alex’ cock throbbing inside his pants.

“What do you want, love?”

‘That’, he was dying to reply but ended up saying something almost as foolish as his original thought.

“I want to be with you.”

Louis’ eyes glowed at that and Alex was so long gone. Up close, he could see every freckle on his skin, the constellation in his cheek, the way his nose was slightly crooked giving him a kind of rough look on his face that was softened with long dark eyelashes. He wasn’t perfect but god, he was close to Alex’ perfection.

“You are with me, silly,” a soft warm laugh comes from him and goes straight to Alex’s dick. ‘Not how I want to’ he thought. “Just take whatever you need and let me do the same, yeah?”

Alex could only nod.

It also turned out, Louis fucked like he kissed, filthy and obscenely. As if Alex’s cock was made for him, and couldn’t fit another body that perfectly. As if his sole purpose in life was reducing him to a babbling mess ready to put a shrine dedicated to his right cheek tattoo.

Louis sucked his dick with practiced ease, he started with small kitten licks and then it turned into a blur of spit and few tears. He was a complete mess, he had never been more entranced by a person. He fought to not buckle up into his mouth, legs shaking and toes curling. It wasn’t the first time someone blowed him, he had experienced good blowjobs before, maybe better ones even, but there was something about the way Louis sucked him that couldn’t compare with anybody else. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the person doing it, but Alex had to ask Louis to stop in fear of things ending before they even started.

‘Can I keep you?’

He might have heard a soft chuckle but with his ears ringing loud, he couldn’t’ be sure. As soon as he was free of Louis hold he turned the boy around and planted his face in his ass, he felt his body tense and then relax, releasing a whimper that would follow him for months.

Alex traced wide wet strokes over his hole, he could feel it twitch with his tongue, inviting him in. The hand resting in his hip traveled down to his left cheek and squeezed it, hard. “Please,” he heard Louis moan. As soon as he got his permission, his tongue poked his ring and entered in and out with no cares, only stopping to suck and hungrily lick around it.

“Open wide, gorgeous,” Alex commanded while Louis whined loudly, both hands spreading his arsecheeks, pushing his face back to work. He ran the tip of his tongue in slow circles inside of his rim. “Please, please, I need,” cried Louis.

“I know, darling, be patient,” Alex rolled him over again and nuzzled his left thigh, leaving a trail of wet kisses until he reached Louis’ flushing cock. With one hand he held the base of his cock to lead it to his open mouth, with the other slipped down between his legs into his spit wet hole. He heard him groan softly right after Alex put one fingertip inside his soft stretched flesh, his arse pressing into Alex's hand. After a few seconds when he added a second one, he felt Louis’ body tremble while he started to scissor him.

“I’m close,” he cried out and Alex let go of his cock. “Why?” Louis whined loudly in disappointment. Alex moved his mouth down, sucking one of his balls lightly before going lower to his ass again, suckling around his fingers, opening him up so his tongue could enter with more ease. Fingers that, by the sound of Louis aroused moans, were hitting the right spot. It was a slick mess and Alex was enjoying every second of it.

Louis was moaning hoarsely while his hips followed the rhythm and pace of his fingers. He pulled Alex’s hair hard, making his tongue go even deeper. Alex extended his left arm and grabbed the lube in the nightstand.

“Don’t you dare pull those fingers out now,” Louis breathed.

“I have to, gorgeous. It will be worth it, you’ll see,” he said while dragging his fingers out so he could slick them with lube.

He drifted his hand back to Louis’ ass and he heard Louis breathily say, “Give me two, come on. I won’t break, and if I do, then it was for a good reason.” That ripped an unexpected laugh from him and took a few seconds to sober up.

“I want to go slow. You told me I could take whatever I want. I want to enjoy you as long as I can tonight.”

“Alright,” is all Louis could say and it was all Alex needed in that moment.

He moved one finger inside of him gently, enjoying the warm feeling that surrounded it, feeling the muscles tense and go lax just like the first time that night. Alex slipped a second finger right after that.

“Want you inside so bad,” Louis whispered airily. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you at Glasgow years ago.”

Alex’s fingers came to a halt, his entire body frozen. “What?”

Louis looked flushed but he didn’t know if it was because he felt embarrassed by what he said or because he had two fingers deep in his ass.

“Don’t worry, I’m not an obsessive groupie, we will go separate ways in the morning. No tears or selling underwear on eBay, promise,” he laughed lightly, but Alex’s mind was spiraling out of control. He could’ve had this before, him. Maybe back then they could’ve had a chance.

He suddenly felt Louis caressing his face, “I’m here, we both are here,” he said as if he could understand him, as if he could see right into Alex’s thoughts.

“Now fuck me, rockstar.” It was back to reality from there.

Alex felt Louis move to grab something, then he felt his hand reaching down his cock, stroking it a few times before rolling a condom expertly down his length. He opened the lube and spread some down Alex’s cock, fingers wrapped around it delicately.

“Come on, I’m all yours now,” he said in a no more than a soft desperate voice. Louis clenched his free hand on Alex’s shoulder while the other guided him inside his ass. He let out an embarrassing grunt and grabbed one of Louis’ legs hard enough to bruise, placing it onto his shoulder.

He dove in and gave a hard first trust. Louis’ mouth went directly to his shoulder and bit him hard. It stung, but it only made him go harder, an animalistic urge to leave a mark in Louis from the inside.

“Want you to feel me for days,” he grunted.

“Oh,” a surprised sound came from Louis’ mouth, his breathing becoming heavier.

Alex had the sudden need to make him squirm, to fuck him until he couldn’t help but scream his name.

“You going to come for me?” As soon as Alex found Louis’ prostate he pressed ruthlessly and continually against the spot that made Louis tremble, not missing a single beat. Thrust becoming erratic, Alex started to nibble and lick the leg placed on his sweaty shoulder. He could feel Louis’ cock rutting against his flat belly, pre-come painting all over it.

“God, Alex,” Louis gasped, he felt his hole clenching around him as his orgasm hit him. Ropes of come landing on his tanned belly and chest, now smearing between the two bodies. Alex felt like falling into nothingness, the only thing keeping him there was Louis’ blissed out expression while he kept pounding on him.

“Louis, Louis, Lou,” he babbled, managing to fuck into Louis a few more times before he was coming. He doubted his climax had ever hit him that hard, the only sure in that moment was that he was trembling. He felt Louis pulling him down, holding him tightly with one arm and stroking his spine with the other.

After several seconds he opened his eyes, body aching a little. He felt Louis clench around his softened cock and the beginning of a smile burning in the crook of his neck. He never felt more complete.

“Louis—” Alex began to say.

“My back is killing me,” Louis said lightly but with a clear edge in his tone that quickly shut down any type of hope Alex started to feel.

It was the first time they fucked, but wasn’t going to be their last.

--

Louis and Alex’s relationship didn’t change much after that first night, although Louis did surprise him in the morning with his phone number. But other than that, things stayed pretty much the same, at least in the first few years.

They were both busy people with busy lives, but every time they were a few miles away from each other, cryptic and dry texts were exchanged with addresses and fake names.

“I think the only way to have a stable relationship on the road, is if you find a person who is truly okay with it or someone who can and want to travel around the world with you.” Louis told him one night while sitting on his lap, hair still damp and come drying on his soft tummy.

“Would you travel the world with me?” He asked half joking already knowing the answer.

“I’m already doing that on my own, but we can meet in the middle, no?”

It became a routine between them, and Alex got used to Louis’ body and quirks. He knew the way his breathing started to change when he was close to coming and the way he went weak every time he licked right behind his ear. However, one of the things Alex couldn’t get used to were the marks Louis sometimes sported on his body. They seemed possessive, intense. As if the person who placed them took their time with each of them. The message was clear and he knew who was sending it, but Alex didn’t give a fuck about neither.

Because when Louis stayed in his bed, they belonged to each other and no one else.

“I bit you too hard,” Louis said, eyes flicking to his shoulder.

Alex loved these type of moments, where Louis looked fucked out and completely relaxed. He always got a bit clingier after a rough night and Alex always made sure all the nights they spend together, he got a soft and clingy Louis.

“S’okay, I liked it,” he said while he traced shapes on Louis’ hipbone, making goosebumps raise all over his skin. Alex heard him make a content hum and felt his cock twitch against his thigh.

“Like that too, do you,” Alex said with no heat but with intent, index finger pressing into a lovebite -that he for sure didn’t put there- right below his collarbone

Besides him, Louis snorted but didn’t comment, because that was one of the lines they never crossed. They, for no reason, talked about the people they slept or saw outside of each other, but Alex always wondered, he always worried.

He had learnt a few things about Louis Tomlinson, the artist, in the time they’d been fooling around. For example, that he loved his fans but hated the media. Loved to spend as much time as he could in London and that he might or might not have been in love with his friend and bandmate.

He hadn’t learnt as much as he would like to about Louis Tomlinson, the person. He did know about the passion he had for his art and how he genuinely cared for people, who in some cases, he barely even knew. And about his bandmate, well… things always got a bit blurry there.

Alex tried to ignore all the rumors because if they were actually accurate, they would also talk about them. But they were always about Louis and his friend, and he knew realistically speaking they had or were having a thing going on. But he also knew said friend wasn’t the only person Louis slept with. Just like Louis wasn’t the only person Alex fucked around. He understood the difference between the people they casually fucked and things that were more serious, and, at some point, they became the latter.

So that’s how they ended up at Alex’s house, planning months prior, arranging their schedules to have an entire week just for them. It wasn’t casual nor spontaneous, but instead felt like the building up of something big.

Alex never thought he could ever get used to seeing Louis like that, not because he looked straight out of a wet dream, all breathless and flushed, but because he always looked so open and vulnerable, so ready for him. It was as if all of his walls were down and he was showing himself entirely just for Alex to see.

“Gorgeous.”

It had been four years. Four years of late-night casual shags, four years of never staying at their places, three years of sleeping with each other but never actually sleeping, two of only seeing each other around twice a year and one of only strictly texting when and where.

“God, swear you get tighter every time we do this.” He felt Louis tense around his cock, breath hitching. Alex didn’t understand what he said wrong, eyes searching for some type of answer. Then it hit him, mouth going dry, and cock twitching hard inside him.

“Lou—love, when was the last time you did this with another person?” Alex whispered, voice almost reverent.

“Don’t, I just—,” he chokes, arching while Alex sucked hungrily at his nipple and gave one single hard thrust.

“You look so fucking incredible like this,” Alex said feverishly, hips snapping violently inside Louis.

“Like how?” Louis groaned, greedily groping Alex’s bare ass.

“All full of my cock,” Alex lifted Louis by his waist, nails leaving marks in the soft flesh while he slammed him back onto his dick. “I’m stretching you so good.”

They had had rough sex but never like that. The unspoken reasons behind the change were nearly overwhelming. Louis was grinding down like never before, barely aware of himself, desperately searching for his mouth, soppily licking inside of it while suppressing choked sobs.

“Are you mine?” Alex was panting, biting his bottom lip and leaning forward.

“Fuck—yes!” Louis let out a broken sound, coming hard while his ass clenched tightly around his cock.

Alex didn’t know if Louis was replying to his question or if it was just a mere verbal reaction due to his orgasm. But he didn’t have much time to ponder about that because he was already coming too, buried in Louis ass, hips pumping erratically. For several moments all he could see was white and all he heard was static.

Bodies slippery and trembling, entwined tightly together, his legs felt a bit sore and stiff. All of Louis’ limbs were surrounding his body entirely, face nuzzled in the crook of Alex’s neck, hiccupping softly.

As Alex came down from his high, he started kissing Louis slowly, and then broke the kiss pulling both of their bodies down.

“You coming to the party tomorrow?” He heard Louis whisper, body going completely lax against him.

“Are you inviting me?”

“You are already invited, silly,” Louis snorted, nuzzling his neck.

He was invited, he knew that. After all, it was still an industry party, but if Alex played his cards the right way, it could become into so much more.

“Sure, but if you invite me, maybe we could leave here together.”

He waited for what it felt an eternity until he felt a small smile over his chest, “Sure, whatever, I could use a ride.”

“In need for a ride, huh?” Alex laughed. “I can certainly help with that.”

“Oh god, you’re such an arse,” Louis groaned, “go the fuck to sleep before I regret this obviously stupid idea.”

“Oh come on now, it was—fuck, Louis! Stop pinching me!” he said between loud laughs. It was brilliant; it must have been how happiness felt like.

‘I’m going to keep this blue.’

---

Things were going smoothly and Alex was feeling on cloud nine. Louis stayed by his side almost all night, he charmed his friends and had them all wrapped around his little fingers in record time. The complications started after the party ended and they went to one of Louis’ friend houses.

Louis disappeared from his sight as soon as they entered the house. Alex knew Louis had the right to spend as much time away from him as he wanted to, but he was the one who suggested to go, and it had been almost two hours since the last time he had seen him.

‘Maybe he already left...”

No, it couldn’t be that. Louis would’ve at least told him.

‘Would he?’

Feeling somehow self-conscious and a bit anxious, he started to look out for Louis inside the house. Reaching what it looked like the main rooms he started hearing some familiar sounds, skin on skin slaps, a grunt. He was about to leave the busy couple alone when he heard a distinct moan. He knew that sound, he had listened to that exact same moan just that morning in the shower.

 Louis.

Blood running cold, jaw clenched and heart beating fast, he decided to take a look inside the semi-open room, he had to see that with his own eyes, he needed to.

Alex thought he had stopped breathing by the time his eyes adjusted to the darkness and finally saw them, both fucking and grinding as if there was no tomorrow, as if there was nothing more important in the world than feeling each other. He thought he could already see new bruises forming on Louis skin, he could also see all the force the man fucking Louis was putting on pounding him, the possessiveness. Mouth all over Louis’ throat, whispering probably filthy things he couldn’t hear all the way from there. No, it wasn’t just a casual fuck, it was rough and it was merciless, but his movements were also full of tenderness, something akin to love.

“Harry, please,” Alex heard Louis moan, loud and clear.

 And there it was, the name his mind avoided like a plague. The reason for one of his doubts about Louis’ feelings -or lack of them- towards him.

“What princess, tell daddy what you need.”

´What?’

Alex blood rushed to his face. He was far from being a virginal prude, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit that was a whole new dynamic for him.

“Your hands, I need daddy’s hands”

“No princess, you’re coming just from my cock today.” He heard Harry say between almost animalistic grunts.

“You think you can get this from another place?” Pelvis pressing on Louis back, hands pinching one of his nipples. “Truth is baby; no one can undress you like I do. No matter with how many people you sleep, nobody can fuck you the way I do. Understood?”

‘Did he just—spank Louis?’

“Harry,” he knew Louis was coming and he didn’t want to see what was going to happen next.

Alex got out of the house as fast as he could, without saying goodbye. He just couldn’t be there any longer, it was all too much.

He was lying on his bed, unable to stop thinking about Louis panting and rutting, body pliant and open. It was a beautiful sight, but it was also wrecking his mind. There was something about all the display that rang unknown to him, he had never seen Louis quite like that, he had been close to, but Louis never literally drooled just for the feeling of his cock hitting his prostate.

And the names… Louis had never brought up if he was interested in that type of stuff. Alex was fooling himself thinking he was giving him what he needed. Harry made that pretty clear.

He heard his phone buzzing inside his pants, he also noticed he was sporting a semi.

‘Huh’

Taking his phone out he saw he had not one but two message from Louis.

‘Did you leave?’

‘I’m sorry for leaving you alone for so long

I’m a complete asshole, I just needed to fix

some stuff and things got a bit out of control.

It’s all good now. I miss you already  :(’

He didn’t reply to either.

---

Alex woke up drained and groggy. He knew he had two options, either ignore everything and move on with his life or confront Louis about what had happened and finally come clean about his feelings for him.

He spend all day trying not to wallow and failing miserably, but at least good songs were coming out of the bottled up feelings and internal fights he was having.   

He didn’t have much more time to keep his misery going because hard knocks were coming from his door.

“Open the door, you asshole,” Alex froze before opening the door.

‘What the fuck was Louis mad for? ‘

He slowly unlocked the doorknob and before he could fully open the door, Louis was stomping inside the house.

“Can you explain to me the reason why on earth you’re fucking ignoring me?”

“Oh fuck you,” Alex replied with an icy hiss. He knew it wasn’t the best or most coherent comeback but he was so confused and also kind of mad about the whole situation, even more because seeing Louis like that, it was turning him on. How inconvenient.

Louis’ eyebrows shoot up in surprise for a brief moment before the furious expression he was spotting took over his face once again.  “Very eloquent, Alexander. This is such a riveting talk, please go on, how many more insults can you add to this conversation without actually telling me what the fuck is going on?”

“You really want to know what the fuck is happening? Because I would also love to know.” He was standing close to him, close enough to see Louis’ blown pupils. He was turned on too. “You want to know where the fuck I was last night and why the fuck I’m ignoring you today, huh?”

Alex grabbed Louis by his waist, turning him around and shoving him against the wall, “Do you, baby boy?” He hissed close his ear in a mix of anger and arousal.

“God, Alex” He started to grind his ass in his now fully hard cock.

“I was—” Alex said while he pulled down Louis’ soft pants and started stroking his cock in a smooth movement. “Watching you—” with his other hand he took out his member and pressed it in the crack of Louis’ bare ass. “while you were being fucked—” Alex’s hand was now pulling his hair forcing him to look at him.”  “by Harry Styles, princess.”

He felt Louis moan unabashedly, clenching hole around the tip of his cock and hand reaching his ass, as if he was afraid Alex would stop grinding on him, as if it was even a possibility.

Just after another few precise strokes Louis was coming beautifully in his hand and the sight was enough to send Alex close to his climax. Louis still shuddering grabbed the hand still stroking his softening cock with his trembling ones, warm and slippery come mixing between them.

Alex let go and moved his come stained hand around his throat, the other hand still holding his hair “I want you to suck my cock, now,” he hissed on Louis neck. “And then, I’m going to come on your face.”

“Yes, please please, I want,” Louis said easily breaking his hold and getting down on his knees.

He felt Louis sucking the tip of his cock, pushing back his foreskin and working his tongue under it. Swallowing noisily around his tip and then moving slowly until it reached the back of his throat, hand lazily playing with his balls. Louis started to fuck his face on Alex’s dick, lips starting to plump around it and chin glistering wet with spit and a bit of pre-come.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Alex warned him.

Louis pulled back, pointing his cock directly to his face, tongue poking at the head while his right hand started to jerk him off. Blotchy red cheeks, pupils dilated with lust and mouth wide open ready for him. Alex couldn’t resist the sight, he was coming on Louis’ face. Sweaty forehead, slightly crooked nose, the constellation in his cheek, all of it painted in his pearly white stripes.

He saw Louis lick at the come around his lips before sucking his still twitching cock, licking it clean.

Alex pulled him up and kissed him hungrily, he could smell the scent of his own come, he could taste himself on Louis. They kept kissing for a while, Alex holding him closer, legs still feeling wobbly after his orgasm. Louis small whimpers and kisses kept him standing strong.

“You don’t act like that with me,” Alex said with hoarse voice after some minutes passed.

Louis was quiet for a few moments and Alex thought he’d have to explain what he was talking about but then he heard Louis whisper. “S’different, that’s all.”

“Different how?” Alex said and heard Louis huff.

“Dunno, just different,” Louis explained, stepping back and out of Alex’s hold and pulling up his trousers.

“Are you seriously getting mad right now?” He felt a sudden rush of anger making its way back, crawling at him.

“No,” Louis snapped, “It’s just— my legs feel tired, I’m cold and have dried come all over my face. But sure, let’s keep talking about the difference between you and all my other sexual partners.”

“You know it’s not about that,” Alex hissed, “You know well—.“

“Please, enlighten me, in what moment we had the talk and became exclusive? Because as far as I know, this is my body and I can fuck whoever I want, whenever I want while all the parts involved are willing and gave consent.” 

Alex let out a humorless laugh, “So are we playing dumb, are we? Because from what I saw, it wasn’t just a ‘fuck’, Louis.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” he said walking to his kitchen; he seemed so… at home. Alex was trying so hard to stop picturing a future where Louis belonged to his place.

“Just the truth, just that. I’m not going to be mad, promise,” Alex told him truthfully while he reached for the paper towels, damped them with warm water and started cleaning delicately Louis’ face. “I just want to understand.”

With that said, it seemed as if all of Louis’ want to fight left his body.

With a deep sigh he started. “We were young and scared in a completely new environment, they tried to control everything about us, everything about me, and he was by my side every step,” Alex sat on a kitchen stool and grabbed Louis by the waist, pulling him onto his lap. “At first,” he continued, nuzzling his nose on the crook of his neck. “It wasn’t sexual at all, we were just the best of the friends, and we are still that. But I don’t know, it just kind of happened, you know?” Louis pulled his face back, looking at Alex with wide slightly unsure eyes.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, kissing his temple. “Have you ever tried to stop?”

Louis averted his eyes, “Sometimes, if we are in exclusive relationships, we stop. But sometimes we—“

“Sometimes, you what, love?”

“Sometimes when our current partners agreed, we still slept together.” Louis’ whisper was barely audible.

“Like an open relationship or you all slept together?” When he noticed Louis struggling to reply he kept going. “Gorgeous, look at me,” Alex said firm, grabbing Louis chin. “Why are you feeling ashamed about this? You said it before, there’s nothing wrong in having consensual sex between grown adults, absolutely nothing wrong”.

“We all slept together.” Louis was still whispering and Alex needed to fix that.

“Foursome, threesomes, you had that, and that’s completely okay.” He squeezed Louis’ love handle playfully. “Was that your big bad secret, gorgeous?”

“Wasn’t a secret,” Louis mumbled against his collarbone. “You just never asked.”

Suddenly Alex had the worst idea in the world, “Wanna try it?”

“Try what?” He looked genuinely confused by the question.

“Me, you and Harry…” At this point Alex felt he already understood Harry and Louis’ relationship. They loved each other deeply, yes. However, it wasn’t the type of love that burned in your skin and made you daydream about a future with that person by your side, with a house outside London and some pets around, the type of love Alex felt for Louis. Now them… it seemed as if they had learn how to fill the empty gaps in their life with each other in all the ways they knew.

Alex was okay with that.

“I-I don’t know” Louis squirmed in his lap. “You were upset just an hour ago. It’s not necessary, I just want you to feel good with me, just that.”

“And I want you to feel good too, and if that brings you comfort, I want to try it.” Alex said while leaving feathery kisses around Louis’ face. “If I feel uncomfortable or don’t like the experience, I will tell you, but I do want to try it.

Louis took a few minutes to think about it, and Alex waited patiently.

“Okay, let’s do that then,” Louis replied with a blinding smile that made Alex forget all of his fears.

It would be worth it, right? It would be great.

---

This isn’t worth it, this isn’t great.

Alex started to regret his decision as soon as they arrived to Harry’s house. Louis was clearly nervous and uncomfortable and Harry looked straight up annoyed. Alex tried to make things better, trying to soothe Louis but ended up with an even more annoyed Harry. Everything felt extremely tense.

He didn’t understand why Harry was acting like that, he was used to it, wasn’t he? It was a good thing. Alex was trying.

“I’m— umm. I’m going to the bathroom,” Louis said, voice unsure.

“Take your time, love”. Alex said while Louis left him with an angry Harry. He heard him scoff.

He was about to say something when he heard Harry ask, “How’s the tour going?”

“It isn’t. We’re taking a break. I have a few songs ready for the next album, though.”

Alex didn’t know how to feel about Harry Styles, he just knew he had to be cautious around him.

“Writing again, are we?” Harry said, stretching his body, as if he were trying to impose himself and smiling directly at him. It wasn’t a friendly one. Alex narrowed his eyes.

“Yes. I just said that.”

“Hope it doesn’t follow the same trend as the last album.” He said mockingly, “Because it must be really difficult to sing over and over the songs you wrote about a person who clearly doesn’t reciprocate your feelings”

Alex finally saw what he had in front of him, a very jealous man. It hit him that Harry’s type of love maybe was the same as his own. ‘This is a very bad idea.’

“I don’t know… you tell me,” He simply replied, as all of Harry’s features shut down, no more smirks, no more games. All their cards were on the table.

“What’s going on?” They both turned their heads and saw a confused Louis.

 Alex was about to give him a lame excuse but Harry beat him with a much simpler response.

“Nothing, baby, come here.” Louis slipped down into his lap, Harry’s arm draped around Louis’ waist. Louis looked at Alex, unsure.

“So, how are we gonna do this?”  He said taking a deep deep breath.

It was going to be a really long night.

---

It would’ve been so much easier if they weren’t so ridiculously jealous of each other, or if he could’ve found something arousing about Harry besides the way he made Louis look and feel.

 Objectively speaking, he knew Harry was an attractive man, because he filled certain stereotypes of what society usually calls “good looking”. But the thing was, he wasn’t Alex’s type at all, and it seemed to be like the same thing was happening to the other guy. They did have some things in common though, like their fascination for small, curvy blue-eyed boys with sharp smiles and dream-like voices. Styles had an exquisite taste, he could give him that.

 “What am I supposed to do?” Alex tried to sound casual but failed visibly, voice with a shaky undertone and somewhat impatient.

“Get your clothes off. I’m taking Louis’,” Harry declared with a firm tone.

“Harry…” Louis warned, looking between the two men standing there.

“He doesn’t know what he’s doing, baby, I’m just trying to guide him,” Harry told Louis, almost purring, demeanor completely changing in just a few seconds. He reached for him and kissed his lips softly. “Remember that I need to make this really good for you, as always.”

Louis did seem more relaxed after that, but it didn’t help to cease Alex’s nerves in the slightest.

“Alex,” he drawled, never averting his eyes from Louis. “We’re going to fuck Louis until we’re sure he will feel us tomorrow. Got it?”

He wasn’t quite used to being bossed around, and to be honest, it annoyed him and turned him off a bit.

“Or do you prefer just watching us?” Harry said with obvious fake kindness. Louis’ shirt was already off and he was currently playing with one of his pink puffy nipples. “I heard we gave you quite a view the other night. Right, kitten?”

Alex’s mouth went dry watching Louis’ reaction to the name. Body going visibly pliant, giving himself completely to the other boy. He watched them smash their mouths in a sloppy kiss, all tongue and teeth. It looked messy and unrefined but it seemed like it was working for Louis.

He got undressed in record time and as soon as he was completely naked, went closer until he could feel the warmth of Louis’ body against his naked chest.

Harry broke the kiss, glancing towards Alex for a few seconds. “He seems convinced. Shall we up the stakes a bit, baby?” Alex saw him rub circles with his thumb in the hollow of Louis’ hip. The hand who was pinching Louis’ nipple, passed to play with the drops of pre-come in the tip of Louis’ cock.

He also saw Louis trying to caress Harry’s cock with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t have time to do much before Harry slapped his hand away. “Have you earned that, baby? Should I tie you up in front of your fuck buddy?”

Alex tensed at that, feeling Louis do the same.

Nevertheless, he stayed hard. A trembling, pliant Louis, was an aroused one, and an aroused Louis meant an aroused Alex.

“Please, let me touch, please, I’ll be good.” Louis pleaded.

“Wanna earn my cock, princess?” Harry asked with a dark hungry look, hand slowly stroking his own cock “You have to suck his first.” His head nodded into Alex’s direction.  “Will that work for you?”

Alex’s ignored the hint of disdain that hit him while his body reacted before his mind did, turning Louis around to face him. “Let’s get closer to the bed, lovely.”

“Wait a bit,” Harry told him. “Baby has to show you something.” He then started stripping down Louis’ trousers revealing, slightly wet with pre-come, pink lace panties.

Alex had never seen something so beautiful, so sinful. “Fuck, you look edible,”

Hard pink cock all squeezed and flushed, made a delicious contrast with the delicate, soft looking lace. Alex’s mouth was watering; he was dying to lick that unbelievably pretty cock. He softly touched Louis’ tip, fascinated with the way it twitched and leaked pre-come with the lightness of the strokes.

“Please,” Louis whimpered softly, just for his ears. He begged so prettily, he looked so needy, but Alex was finally catching up with what Louis really needed.

“Such an eager little thing. Are you gonna be a good boy for us, doll?” He heard Harry say somewhere close to them, while his finger moved from Louis’ length to the part on his v line that Alex knew made him shiver.

“Yes, I promise, I want you, please…” Louis said in a slur. He was completely gone and Alex was barely even touching him.

With all the human strength he possessed at that moment, he stopped touching him and sat on the bed, with his legs sprawled. He didn’t have to say anything at all, because as soon as he sat, Louis was kneeling in front of him. He started giving little kisses to his tip, tongue flicking now and then over his slit.

“Thank you, thank you, you taste so good, thank you,” Louis said before opening his mouth wider, swirling his tongue around the crown of his cock. Alex bucked his hips helplessly and gripped Louis’ hair tightly.

“More,” Alex grunted hoarsely, hips starting to thrust into Louis mouth again and again, merciless. Louis suppressed some coughs but took it like an expert.

He felt Louis touch his hip with one of his hands. Alex’s first reaction was to abruptly stop his harsh movements and pull out. No matter how aroused he was, Louis safety always came first. But Louis didn’t let him pull away, he grabbed the base of his cock with his small hand and lowered his mouth another inch until he felt his relaxed throat open wide and warm for him. Louis tapped his hip twice while starting to bob.

“I think he wants you to fuck his throat.” Harry said with a rough voice and perhaps a small hint of anger.

 He could see in his peripheral vision that he was getting closer to where they were, but decided to ignore him for a bit more, it was his moment, his Louis.

Louis made a muffled moan that vibrated through his cock, he then started to move his head faster. ‘This is a vision’ Alex thought watching Louis’ hollowed cheeks, mouth spread wide and glassy wet eyes, looking at him adoringly. He was so close to coming.

“Fuck—okay stop. Come up here, gorgeous.“

Louis pulled off with a quiet but obscene slurping sound and followed Alex’s orders.

When Louis was fully up, he heard Harry’s voice behind him. “On the bed, princess, I want to see you on your hands and knees.” Alex turned around to see him pat beside where he was sprayed on the large bed. “I want to see that pretty ass of yours”

Louis’ obeyed easily, crawling where he was, presenting his lace covered ass in front of both men.

Harry smoothly got up and moved Louis so Alex could perfectly see the moment when he pulled Louis panties to the side, exposing his already plugged hole.

“Lovely, isn’t it? Just like my princess,” Harry said while slowly moving in and out what it looked like a gold butt plug. “24-karats, but this pretty hole is worth that and more, don’t you think?”

Alex felt dizzy; it had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, Louis being filled with pure gold.

“Here, he’s all yours,” Harry pulled him out of his daze at the same time he pulled the plug out of Louis, making him moan loudly. Left hand still possessively seated on the small of Louis’ back.

Alex didn’t have to be asked twice, as soon as the words were out, he was pressing flat wet licks over Louis’ hole, ripping out a trembling wine from him. ‘Jesus’. He stretched him with both of his thumbs, tongue fucking his ring.

“Stretch him out more, he’s gonna need that later.” Harry said, still soothing Louis’ back with his hand.

He heard Louis sob, “God, more,” while pressing his ass eagerly against his tongue, Alex stretching him even wider with his thumbs, allowing him to go even deeper than before. “Daddy,” Alex went completely still.

“It’s okay, petal. You are okay, we both got you,” Harry rasped gently. “I think that’s enough for now,” he said to Alex, tone changing rapidly from warmth to business.

Harry sat again on the bed and pulled Louis gently out of Alex grasp. “Baby—god—look at you, so gorgeous and desperate. Wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

Alex saw the back of Louis head nod furiously while Harry took out lube, a condom and something else he couldn’t fully recognize from his bottom drawer.

 “We need to prep you good today, lovely.” He said caressing Louis’ face. “But first, wanna give it a little, kiss?” He darted his hungry eyes to his hard cock.

Louis looked as if he were gagging to taste Harry. He was already spread between the other boy legs, tongue slightly poking out of his mouth when Harry stopped him, hand holding his chin. He spoke again, voice full of lust. “Did you forget to put this on, baby?” he said after showing what he then could finally identify as a baby pink colored lip gloss.

Alex got closer to them and saw how Louis was puckering his pretty lips so Harry could apply the lip gloss, “You don’t know how much I love when you leave your pretty marks on me,” Harry said, voice low as if they were sharing an important secret. And who knew, maybe they were. “Come on now, kiss it better.”

And so Louis did, leaving no more than slow glossy pecks all over Harry’s shaft, no tongue, no spit, just small little kisses. Why was that so fucking hot?

“Do you see this? How pretty he’s making my dick look,” Alex heard Harry said, but couldn’t avert his attention from Louis, not even for a second. He drank on the image as if he were a thirsty man and Louis was fresh clear water. ‘So blue.’ Pre-come ruined panties, tanned glistening skin, soft looking curves and rosy sticky lips, he was art. Louis Tomlinson was the most magnificent type of art.

He noticed Harry was giving Louis’ pouty mouth soft taps with his now lube slicked cock. Alex was so focused on Louis, he barely noticed when he did that.

“Come here, love. It’s time,” Harry commanded and as response he had a lap full of Louis in seconds. He then saw how he slid two shiny-slicked fingers inside the boy with no warning.

“Fuck—yes, please, I need more,” Louis moaned, eyes going heavy lidded. He pushed his ass against Harry’s fingers, it looked like he was desperately searching for more friction. “I need your cock, please?”

Right.

“Aw, baby. Just because you asked so nicely—” Alex didn’t fully register what was happening until he saw Harry entering Louis, raw. The lonely condom he pulled out of his drawer forgotten beside him.

He didn’t know if he said something out loud, mind too filled with noise to notice, but he heard Harry reply to him offhandedly. “That condom wasn’t for me, it was for you.”

He could see Harry’s wet and fat cock pushing into Louis’ entrance. “Stop over thinking this, will you?” He said between heavy pants. “Now bring your ass over here and hold his hand. He’ll need you,” that made him look up to Louis’ face. Slack mouth full of pleasure, flushed cheeks and brows furrowed in concentration. He looked so… gone, and Alex was dying to touch him. Louis needed him, but he needed Louis even more.

He kneeled besides Louis and held his hand. As soon as Louis felt him, it was as if a spell had been broken. Head turning towards him and eyes fully blown out, he whined loudly and reached Alex’s neck, pulling him into a heated kiss.

Alex felt Louis reach his cock, letting out a tiny needy whine, he then heard a loud smacking sound. Harry spanked Louis.

“Did I give you permission to touch other people’s cock, baby?” Harry said sharp, hips stopping abruptly. It was the first time in all night Alex heard him being something more than reverent with Louis.

“No, daddy, I’m so sorry,” Louis pleaded, he let Alex go almost completely, hand still on his, and fastened his hips. “I promise I’ll be good, but please don’t stop, please, please.”

Alex instincts were screaming at him to give Louis what he was asking for, but he was a fast learner, so he could then identify when what Louis asked wasn’t exactly what he needed and that was one of those times. He squeezed his hand in support anyways.

“You think you deserve that?” Louis shook his head rapidly, eyes a little shiny. “After you didn’t ask for permission even though you know it’s one of the most important rules?”

‘Rules.’  The word resonated inside Alex’s head.

Louis was making the prettiest pouty face, he honestly didn’t know how Harry could resist to that.

It seemed he couldn’t resist to it either after all, because two beats passed then he said “God, you don’t play fair,” before smacking his ass yet again. Louis let out a small moan and hid his face in Harry’s shoulder. Alex realized he enjoyed to be spanked, and it wasn’t that much of a punishment.

“Grab that, you’re joining us” Harry said to Alex after a few seconds of just hearing moans and grunts. He threw the condom at him the closest he could without letting go of Louis that much.

“Join you… now?” Alex could hear the overwhelmed ring his voice had. Louis made a broken little sound.

“Of course not, don’t be stupid” He said with no real heat on his voice. “You have to wait until I get him all nice open and wet,” Alex saw him drizzle lube on his fingertips, he followed the movement of Harry’s hand until it reaches Louis’ ass.

“Do you think your little hole can take that baby? Can you take both of us?” He asked while inserting one finger alongside his cock.

“Yes, yes, I want that so much, I want you both so much, please”

“Then, you have to move, petal. Move for me,” Louis started grinding slowly, small and delicate movements, one hand clenching on Harry’s shoulders.

 “Good god—yes—sweetheart, you’re taking me so so well,” Harry inserted one more finger; he was moving them both fluidly in and out Louis’ sloppy hole. “We are going to make you feel so good, baby boy,” Harry said, his voice full of wonder and awe. “This is all about you, it’s always only about and for you.” Alex noticed Harry was four fingers deep in, cock still grinding inside Louis.

“Praise him,” He hears Harry grunt.

“You—you’re doing so brilliant, gorgeous, so so perfect,” He said soothingly while caressing the back of his neck softly. He had forgotten that Louis was holding his other hand until he felt him squeeze it hard.

“Want to add a finger in him?” Harry said while helped Louis bounce on his cock with his free hand placed on his hip. “Go on then…”  Alex whole body started to shake with want. “Put the condom too”

Louis let go his hand as he grabbed the condom and lube in seconds, he put the condom and coated his index finger with the cold lube.

“Your thumb, lube your thumb and your cock.” Alex quickly did what he was told. When he finished, he situated himself behind Louis, hand clumsily trying to reach his ass. They both went still while Alex inserted his thumb.

He heard a faint hiss coming out of Louis. “You like this, gorgeous? Does it feel good?” Alex said in a soothing tone. Thumb completely swallowed by his warm ass while the rest of his hand grabbed his butt.

“Oh.” He felt Louis clench around his thumb, it quickly hit him that Louis not only had five fingers knuckle deep inside his little pink hole, but also a fat cock. That though almost made Alex come in the spot.

He tried to move his finger inside the tight space a few times until he heard “Are you ready, my love? Tell me your color.”

“So green daddy, so very green.” Louis said eagerly.

Alex knew that was his cue, he pulled out his thumb very slowly and started to slick his dick yet again, just in case. The sound of a guttural whine warned him that Harry also pulled his fingers out.

“M’ so empty, daddy, so empty, god,” Louis babbled almost incoherently.

He saw Harry lift up his hips and pull Louis down onto his cock by his shoulders. Alex was sure Louis moan could be heard in the entire house. “Be patient, love, your friend is coming.”

If Alex couldn’t give a fuck before about Harry’s condescending remarks, he couldn’t give one either in those moments.

He pressed his dick against Louis’ rim and started to push forward very slowly until he was balls deep inside his tight hole.

Louis stayed very still, everyone did. He saw a drop of sweat running down on Louis’ tense back. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that until he felt Louis start to move, making almost imperceptible circles with his hips. Alex wasn’t a religious person but he imagined that was how entering heaven must’ve felt like. To know he was properly filling Louis, giving him all of the pleasure he needed. Fuck everything else, Alex could have perfectly died happily while buried inside him.

Harry started to grind slowly, making Louis to throw his head in what Alex guessed was pure pleasure. Small uh, uh, uh’s escaping from his shiny pretty mouth were rapidly shut by Harry’s demanding lips.

“Christ, do you even realize— it’s almost unreal how beautiful you are.” He heard him say between hungry kisses and wet licks.

Alex, on his part, started to suck on Louis’ neck and joined Harry’s thrusts with precise ones, trying to maintain the little self control he had left.

“M’so full, so close,” Louis slurred.

“You’re going to come so hard, right baby? My perfect boy loves to be all filled up with cock,“ Harry said vehemently, “Look how much you’re taking.” He saw up close how Louis’ skin started to fill with goosebumps. “You were born to be this loved, right, my little petal?”

Love.

‘Christ.’

He wrapped his arm around Louis’ torso pulling him in close, he thought he heard Harry groan but it all was a blur. He then started kissing Louis jaw until he got the idea and turned his head towards him, mouth open and ready.

He felt how Harry started to speed his thrusts, making Louis drop his head. Alex would’ve protested if he hadn’t been so close to coming. “Shit.”

“If you’re going to come, do it on his face, he loves that,”

Louis reached his shoulder and gave him a needy scratch. “Alex please, please.”

He started pulling out carefully and with wobbly legs he hopped off the bed until he was beside it again. He fed Louis with two fingers, hooking them in the back of his bottom teeth and pushing his head down towards his cock. He could see with more clarity that Louis face was filled with big tears.

‘Gorgeous, so gorgeous’

Alex began jerking himself off, Louis sucking on his two fingers, tongue twirling around them. He let both go with a wet pop sound. “Daddy, can I taste?”

Harry didn’t reply at first and for a moment Alex thought he would say no but then he heard a strained, “But don’t touch,” and saw both hands possessively squeeze the swell of Louis’ arsecheeks.

Louis opened his mouth and gave the tip of his dick a hard suck, detaching himself shortly after and whispering, “You taste like me.”

Alex orgasm hit him like a truck, stripes of come landing on Louis’ chin, and lips. He licked them both clean.

“My beautiful boy, you made him feel so good.” The noise Louis made at being praised sounded as if it was torn out from inside him.  Alex saw Louis throw himself back to Harry, hands grabbing both sides of his head pulling him into an intense kiss. He also saw Harry moving his hands from his ass to his torso, embracing him tightly, almost as if he were scared to let him go.

Louis began grinding on Harry’s lap and the other boy quickly followed his movements. Alex noticed they had a synchrony that someone could only gain over years of exploring the other person’s body. He understood why Louis kept coming back to him, the familiarity. That, that he could understand.

Harry was kissing him tenderly while whispering things Alex couldn’t make out from where he was, a definitely stark contrast with the almost primal way he was fucking into Louis.

“Haz, I’m so close,” He heard him mewl, looking utterly wrecked.

“Then come, baby,” after that he bucked his hips deeper and faster into Louis’ hole. Both boys were panting with beads of sweat covering their skin, clinging to each other.

“Harry,” Louis cried out, body seizing up, cock spurting white ribbons of cum. Harry kept thrusting on him while Louis rode his orgasm out.

“I’m gonna come so deep inside you, Lou.” All finesses were thrown out of the window, he flipped Louis over, hooking Louis’ knees over his shoulders, thrusts going erratic. Alex could only hear the merciless sounds of skin slapping on skin and their mixed moans echoing in the room. He saw Harry stiffen and then shudder, making a long low sound of pleasure.

“Fuck baby, I’m so in love with you.” He clearly heard Harry breathe onto Louis’ temple, almost sure Louis was too out of himself to properly register the words. However, they became imprinted on Alex’s mind as soon as they left his lips.

Harry released Louis legs slowly and rolled them over again so Louis was on top of him, cock still buried inside.

“That’s it, petal, keep milking me. It’s all for you, nobody else. There’s nobody else,” he said while scooping the come already dripping out of Louis’ ass with his finger and sinking it inside his hole alongside his already softening cock.

Enough.

Alex tried to pull Louis out of Harry’s hold but the only thing he got was a murderous look thrown at his direction.

‘Does this asshole even get how threesomes works?’

“Leave him for a bit more, he needs this. You can stay close but— just let him.” Louis made an indecipherable sound, head resting on Harry’s chest. He looked so sated. Alex moved some hairs out of his sweaty forehead.

Louis opened his eyes, grabbed Alex hand and kissed it. “Thank you.”

Alex laid down in the bed, hand still holding Louis’ and closed his eyes.

--

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that he wasn’t in his bed, the second was that his body was aching in the most pleasant way. Then, images from the night before started going back at him. His nervousness, Harry’s hostility, Louis panting and writhing against two cocks, his eyes full of adoration while holding Alex’s hand. The way he and Harry always looked so needy for each other.

He needed some fresh air.

Alex found his clothes scattered on one the side of the bed. He quickly dressed with his last night clothes, noticing there was a half filled water bottle and some towels. Harry probably got up to attend and clean Louis up.

And Alex called himself a “fast learner”.

‘God.’

He walked out of the room aimlessly wandering around the house. He stopped in the kitchen, sitting in on of its stools, head spaced out.

Alex didn’t know if he stayed there for minutes or for hours, head going fast thinking about all the new information he had. It was supposed to be just a good experience, a good fuck, not a bundle of confusing feelings.

He heard one of the chairs near him move, Alex looked up and saw a wary looking Harry.

Neither of them made a sound for a few moments. Gathering courage, he spoke first. “When are you going to tell him?”

 “I don’t know, maybe when you do, too.” Harry said, visibly tense, hands gripping the kitchen marble with force.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Is Louis a game to you?” He said hissing. Alex was done with his bullshit.

“Don’t ever fucking say that shit again.” Harry stood up, face completely constricted with anger.

“And what was that?” Alex needed to understand what was going on. His feelings were on the line after all.

“What can I tell you, you bring the worst out in me,” Harry spit out bitterly. After a few beats he added, “I’m not gonna tell him,” his voice sounded almost defeated. “Not again.”

“Again?”

“I tried once, he was also with someone else back then.” He sat again in his stool. “Our timing—has always been a bit fucked up.” Harry chuckled bitterly. “He’s now a firmly believer of faith, thinks we aren’t meant to be. When he pisses me off, I think I agree.”

“And right now?” Alex asked, silence filling the kitchen again until Harry broke it.

“Right now, I’m pissed off.”

“Is this going to be a problem?”

“You and me,” Harry said pointing between each other, “have something in common. We both want to give Louis everything he wants. Funny, I actually quite like that about you.” He stood up again, but he looked tired and so much older in some way. “You don’t have to worry about me. I love him enough to let him go if that means he will be happy.”

Alex had pictured their encounter several times, he expected a fight, a few punches or at least a screaming row. He didn’t for once imagined an already defeated Harry with puffy eyes and dark looks.

“Do you want a cuppa or are you more of a coffee person?”

--

After an uneventful and a bit awkward afternoon, where Alex and Harry pretended to be cordial to each other and Louis pretended he didn’t know they were pretending, they left Harry’s house.

Alex was well aware things were reaching their breaking point.

‘Want you so bad. Think I love you even more than before.”

He knew he was going to have to tell Louis about his feelings at some point, because in the other side of the line there was a time bomb ticking with a name stamped on it, a profession and the double of his net worth.

He had to do it, and what other time would be better than that?

“We need to talk…” Alex knew it wasn’t the best way to approach the situation but, desperate times always called for desperate measures.

Louis looked slightly worried. “Did you hate last night that much you don’t want to see me anymore?”

“What— No! No, gorgeous, nothing like that.” He said catching Louis’ hands and pulling him towards his body. “It’s something important, but nothing bad.”

Louis visibly relaxed and Alex insides preened at the reaction. 'This could be good.'

“Well, what is it, then?” 

“Louis I—“ adrenaline coursed through his veins.

‘Now or never.’

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Louis blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Alex knew one thing about Louis Tomlinson, he was a force to be reckoned with and knowing that sometimes terrified the shit out of him.

“I think I love you— no, I know I do. You inspire me everyday, you make me want to make music. I love the way your body feels against mine and the way you light up every single room you enter, I just feel so good being around you. You’re my muse.” He took a deep breathe, he couldn’t dare look at Louis, he knew that with one look, Louis could make all his courage crumble down to shreds. “And I know it’s sudden and we aren’t even exclusive but I have never cared much about proper ways to do stuff. I feel what I feel and I needed to tell you that.”

After a moment, Alex found the strength to finally look at Louis. What he found in his eyes was something he definitely hadn’t expected. He found anger.

“No you don’t and you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Louis said with an icy tone in his voice.

“Don’t tell me how I feel—” Alex tried to continue but Louis beat him to it.

“No, I’m not telling you how you feel, I’m telling you how I do.” That didn’t even made sense in his head but he still let Louis continue.

“What’s the song my mom used to sing to me the nights I had nightmares? What’s my favorite song? Or—or tell me my favorite movie…” He understood what the point he was trying to make was, but he wasn’t having any of that. Louis kept going. “What’s my biggest fear? Hell, Alex, here’s an easy one: what’s my favorite color?”

“All those things are stuff I can learn, Louis.”

“That’s exactly my point, we’ve known each other for four years, four. If at this point you don’t know any of those things it’s because you haven’t cared enough to ask me.” Alex had seen Louis mad before, but never like that. “You have never shown any real interest for me after that first night. I mean, besides getting laid.”

“That’s bullshit and you know—“ Louis interrupted him again, not bothering at all in letting him finish.

“You know what’s really happening here?” Louis breathed, voice faint but sure. “You fell in love with this unreachable character you created out of pieces of me, but never once tried to actually reach me.”

 Louis’ had fire in his eyes and tears in his lashes.

“I’m not a muse, I don’t want to be one. I’m a flesh, bones and all fuck ups human. I’m a talented as fuck musician, I’m so much more than what you write about me. I’m a person, Alex, not yours or anybody’s fucking muse.” Louis took a deep breath while he cleaned his tears with the sleeve of his jumper.

Alex’s heart was sinking at that sight. Louis’ words finally dawned on him. He started to ponder on every single time Louis tried to open up with him, to talk to him. And all the times he preferred to fantasize about what ifs and their future with his guitar instead of with Louis’ himself.

Louis wasn’t a mystery, Alex had made him one.

“And you know what hurts the most?” Louis said in a small whisper. “That I thought you could really see me.”

Then he walked out his door.

Louis also wasn’t blue, he was all the fucking colors in the rainbow.

And Alex lost him.

 --

“Hi, rockstar”

The first thing Louis noticed about Alex was how terrible he looked. Don’t get him wrong, he would always be one of the most handsome men in Louis’ eyes. But then, with dark circles beneath his eyes and the greyish tint placed as a delicate blanket on his skin, he looked as if he were sagging with exhaustion, and that was a harsh look in everybody.

Alex took them both into his living room, a big duvet thrown on top of his favorite loveseat. Louis let himself fall onto the sofa with a satisfying thump, feeling completely at home.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.” He sounded unsure.

Louis thought that too for a brief moment after he got his text. It had been almost a month since the last time they had seen each other. Alex respected his wishes of not contacting him until last night. The message was clear but Louis knew it was sincere. It was a beginning.

“It’s okay, really. I mean, you just used me for years to get sex and really good hits and then making me feel guilty about you falling in love with a version of myself that doesn’t even exist.” 

Louis saw Alex’s eyes almost fly out of his head. It was funny. “But hey, at least you didn’t sell my underwear on eBay.”

Louis maintained his serious façade for a few more seconds until he couldn’t hold it anymore and bursted into a fit of giggles.

Alex smiled brightly but then his face dropped. Maybe they weren’t at the ‘Let’s make jokes out of our dumb past mistakes’ point. “Hey, you know I was joking, right?  I don’t think like this about you or the situation at all.” He said reaching his hand.

“Of course, but even if you weren’t. You are in all your right to keep being mad at me. What I did wasn’t okay and I hope one day you can forgive me.” He saw him inhale deeply.

“There’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t aware of what you were doing. I wish I could say the same about me.” Louis was a bit ashamed to admit he felt flattered by the way Alex treated him.

He might have felt a lot more ashamed for deeper reasons, as why he felt so drawn by that type of behavior. It would be easy to put all the blame on Alex, but he knew he was also responsible. He knew exactly what was happening and he did nothing to stop it. Because for years, it was convenient for him and his situation.

His relationship with Alex was an easy escape for every time his friends asked him if he was seeing someone, to pretend he finally moved on. It also helped an awful lot to avoid some others such as Nadine, Camille, Xander…

So maybe they both used each other a bit, maybe none of them were the noblest people in the world, maybe they were meant for each other.

And that was the reason why he was telling Alex all of it. If this was what he thought it was, he needed to come clean too. No more fantasies, no more escapes and no more lies.

“I kinda was aware about that too. Harry told—” Alex stopped abruptly.

“What? Let me guess... He told you to back off?"

“Y-Yeah… that, he told me that.” He noticed Alex’s voice had a slight weird edge that couldn’t fully identify. “But let’s not talk about him.” He said, big smile on his face. Louis tried focusing on that, he needed to trust Alex. “I’m dying to finally know you, Louis Tomlinson.”

 “Just call me Lou… or king whatever seems more fitting to you.” Alex barked a bright laugh, arms pulling him close, close, close until he was sitting on his lap.  He started to leave small butterfly kisses all over Louis' face until he reached his lips. A tiny spark flickered inside him. Because if something wasn’t a lie, it was how right he felt every single time Alex kissed him.

They might have not been in love with each other, but anything could happen in the future and Louis was ready to try.

Because sometimes even the biggest love stories, aren’t about the type of love you might expect. And Louis was more than okay with that.