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"Okay, fine, you have managed to find one thing ... ONE ... that this rock has over Newark.”
"That's all I ask for, Danno. The chance to make one more positive for you staying."
Danno turned, resting his palm against Steve's eternal five o'clock shadow, and looked up into his eyes. His heart was hammering in his chest as he realized the answer to the nagging question at the back of his mind for the last few weeks.
"Steven, every time I look into your eyes, I see my future. Every time I see your smile, I know this is home. More than just club, more than just partners. You are my today and my tomorrow. The man I want to stand beside me for the rest of my life. The man who will raise our daughter and teach her about her Hawaiian heritage as much as I will teach her about her roots in Newark. Lieutenant Commander Steven Jack McGarrett, would you please do me the honor of marrying me?"
Steve's pupils had dilated, and Danno heard him stop breathing. It was an odd thing, listening to the man you just proposed to freeze as still as a statue. He never blinked ... Danno was pretty sure he'd somehow slowed his heartbeat, and he had begun to worry if he'd sent his SEAL into some sort of emotional overload. He leaned back, trying to gauge Steve's state, and immediately found himself being yanked back against that gorgeous chest.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mea-," Danno began before the overly enthusiastic octopus interrupted him by kissing him. His voice and breath were cut off as Steve's lips assaulted his. He opened his mouth, took Steve's tongue into his own, and felt him exhale directly into Danno's mouth. His kiss tasted like euphoria.
Danno curled his arms around Steve and slotted himself against the larger man, so their hips met as Danno rolled himself on top of Steve. Whether by instinct or need, Steve spread his legs and wrapped them around Danno's waist, allowing the shorter man to drape himself across Steve's chest. He wanted to melt inside Steve, to fill the empty spaces inside of him to make him whole again. Danno already knew Steve would fill the empty spaces in his own soul. He couldn't stop the tears that trickled from the sides of his eyes as he pressed their bodies as close together as he could.
"Danno," Steve began as he pulled away far enough that he could see Steve's eyes, "I told you once before, and I will repeat it until my voice gives out," Steve stopped long enough to put his hands on either side of Danno's face, "no boundaries. Ever. There is nothing you could ask of me that I would not cherish. Everything I am is yours, forever. Grace is my kaikamahine o ka puʻuwai … the daughter of my heart. Even though blood does not bind us, our souls are together, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect or provide for her. No boundaries. I never thought the world would give me another chance to love someone. Never thought I could love anyone.”
Danno looked at Steve, tilting his head slightly. “Another?” As far as Danno could remember, Steve had never mentioned any other relationship. Danno was curious but didn’t have any expectation for Steve to reply. Which is why he was so surprised when Steve dipped his head to shift their positions enough that he could rest his head against Danno’s shoulder as he stared up into the sky.
“I guess it’s time for my last secret,” Steve began, his voice thick with raw, painful emotion. Immediately, Danno wanted to ease whatever had caused it. “Frederick Edward Hart and Catherine Louise Rollins. They were my best friends, my first chosen family, and my lovers for the entirety of my military career.”
Steve stopped speaking as Danno watched a range of emotion he’d never witnessed before floating to the surface. It was raw, angry, hurt, and scared all at once. It was love, devotion, admiration, and pride at the same time confusing everything in his eyes. Danno’s tears continued, this time for the agony he could see playing across Steve’s face. The names were familiar, the last two names on Steve’s shoulder, though Danno had no idea the magnitude of who they’d been.
“Freddie and I met at the Academy. We were bunked together during the inauguration, and by dinner of the first day, we were the best of friends. Looking back on it now, twenty plus years later, I can say that I had a crush on him from day one, though at the time, I had no idea. club life was,” Steve paused long enough to spread his hands and shrug his shoulders in the universal gesture of ‘you know’ before continuing, “Anyway, he was there from the beginning. But it took until graduation and a posting to Coronado together, along with a literal shit-ton of whiskey, for us to fall into bed. I’ll spare the details, but there were some surprises the following morning.”
Steve’s smile was soft, softer than anything Danno had seen, and he was entranced by the innocence of it. He had occasionally wondered at Steve’s almost casual acceptance of his sexuality, but had chalked it up to the Hawaiian way of things; they were generally far more accepting of alternatives than other clubs and societies. He reached up, rubbing his thumb against Steve’s cheek, and was rewarded with a bright, happy smile.
“I met Cath when I was temporarily assigned to Naval Intelligence. She was infectious with her happiness; literally, the only person I have ever met that could make an intelligence briefing funny. I introduced Freddie to Cath, and I will go to the grave swearing that I watched them fall in love. It was that quick. When they started dating, I figured I would fade to the background for both of them for a while,” Steve laughed a little, and Danno could almost smell the sadness and the joy in the memory itself. “Five weeks into their dating, they invited me out to dinner and casually proposed they would both like me to join them in bed. We had twenty-five years together Danno, but it felt like a lifetime. It was ten lifetimes, and it wasn’t enough. We were talking about having kids, well, Freddie and Cath were going to officially have them, but they would be ours. Danno, you know that feeling. When you find out. When the idea becomes a reality. I was there, ready to spend the rest of my life there, and then six hours later, it was taken away from me. Three weeks later, it was taken from me a second time. The first was Freddie, killed in action because another member of my Team sold us out. The second was Cath, who killed herself because she couldn’t face life without Freddie. I was the one to find her and call it in.”
The grief of Steve’s face was powerful, strong enough to trigger a matching flow of tears down Danno’s face as he listened to the tale of the first people to teach Steve about love and how he lost them. Steve didn’t even seem to realize he was crying, the tears were running down his face as he talked about watching each of them die.
“Danno, I never in my life thought I would have a chance to love someone as deeply as I loved them. We went to Vegas for their wedding, and I stood as both best man and man of honor for each of them. We had matching rings, though I was careful about wearing mine because it would invite too many questions. I buried it with Cath and Freddie, after their funerals. Danno, I would have given my life for them. They saw me through Mary’s death and my father’s funeral. They encouraged me to drive my career where I wanted it to go and gave me the tools to do so. I don’t know that I would have achieved my rank without them. They centered me in a way that I never knew was possible,” Steve stopped speaking long enough to brush the tears from Danno’s eyes before he went on, “When I met you, I knew I was being given a second chance. Danno, you fill me with hope and pride. You show me, every day, that you love and care about me. I have never once doubted you, and I know that’s a bizarre level of weird for one person to experience twice in their life. I’m not looking to question this kind of gift from the gods.”
Danno was openly weeping for Steve’s loss, the raw agony of it still evident in Steve’s tone. He couldn’t imagine the magnitude of loss Steve had experienced, though his loss of Rachel was close. When Rachel had been killed, Danno had been broken. In the space of one sentence, he’d gone from “father” to “single parent” and from “husband” to “widower.” It had been a bit of a jolt but didn’t seem to have the emotional impact of losing Rachel twice. He ran his thumbs under Steve’s eyes, catching his tears at the pads of his thumbs.
“Listen to me, you Neanderthal. You are my heart. Rachel took that up for a long while, and there will always be a slot that belongs to her just because of who she was. But you, Steven, you are the reason I wake up every day. You have been here from the beginning, providing for and protecting her alongside me. You taught her things I couldn’t and made her better for it. There is no better father I could wish for Grace than you, Steven. Thank you for telling me about them, for giving me another chance to know you. I wish you didn’t hurt, or that I could erase that for you. I promise you, Steven, I will spend every day of the rest of my life beside you, trying to keep that smile on your face. I love you. No boundaries.”
The smile that broke out across Steve’s face felt like the smile Danno wore the day Grace was born.
“Can we go wake her up and tell her now?”
“Steven, if you would like to take your life into your hands with such an endeavor, I cannot stop you. However, I would like to remind you that it is eleven-thirty at night and she went to bed three hours ago. That’s just enough time for her to really be asleep. I love you, but I am not making a pot of coffee just to be able to tell her you said yes and put her back to bed. No. That’s on you,” Danno teased, kissing Steve gently. His reward was to have Steve roll them over so that he was hovering over Danno, never breaking their kiss.
“Tomorrow is Saturday. She can sleep in,” Steve kissed him one last time, and before Danno could do anything about it, he was up and running for the house.
“Steven!”