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You can’t believe that you have blood of your own now. You have a brain, lungs, a heart, and all the other squishy bits that come with being partly human. What surprises you most is your heartbeat. You felt Ryuuko's every time she wore you. No, felt isn't the right word, you decide. Lived is better. Ryuuko's heartbeat supplied your "food", but not only that, it was her heartbeat, and she was all you'd ever lived for. Having a heartbeat of your own feels wrong, in a sense, almost like you're not worthy of it.
There are a lot of other strange sensations that come with being part human now. The necessity of sleep is one that really boggles you. Before, sleep was just a passive state to pass the time whenever battle wasn’t eminent or when you were bored. Now, though, sleep is a necessity. Another necessity that you appreciate with a wry sense of humor and a true understanding of irony now is that you have to wear clothes to cover your new, naked body.
You, Senketsu, former Kamui, have to wear clothes.
You understood humor even as a sailor uniform, and you recognize that the universe is perversely fascinated with making your life, and Ryuuko’s, as difficult as possible. But clothes. Really.
You’re not wearing clothes now. Ryuuko doesn’t make you when it’s just you two, alone, because she knows that it makes you feel uncomfortable. You have too many memories of what it feels like to be worn to be comfortable wearing something.
This new human body is a lot of work. It requires constant, vigilant maintenance. You assumed that Ryuuko just really liked to stay clean. You didn’t know that yes, you have to bathe every day or else you’ll smell, but you hate water.
“Get in the shower, Senketsu!”
She might not make you wear clothes when you don’t have to, but she certainly isn’t comfortable looking at you in the nude. You would have thought that she’d be over that by now, but if the bright red blush on her cheeks before she turned around is any indication, she isn’t. As it is, Ryuuko is standing in the bathroom doorway, letting all the hot air out, letting all the cold air in, and facing the other direction so that she doesn’t have to look at you.
You shift unsteadily on your feet. Balance is still not something you excel at. “Must I?” you ask, and you just watch how her shoulders tense as she puffs up in frustration and then relax. You’re standing just outside of the glass shower door, eyeing the steaming water with all the suspicion you can muster.
“Yeah, you overgrown rag. If you don’t, then you’re gonna start to smell.” She huffs again and re-crosses her arms. “Senketsu, bathing is nice anyways. It’s relaxing. Can’t you just relax?”
You remember what it felt like when she exhaled like that, and you remember the slight rise in her heartbeat. You miss her heartbeat and you miss her blood. You miss the closeness the two of you used to have. You’re still close, but something just doesn’t feel right between you.
“No, of course I can’t relax.” You look down, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “I hate water.”
Ryuuko sighs again, and this time, she turns around to look at you. Her face is still pink, but she doggedly manages to keep eye contact. “I’m surprised that you didn’t come back as a cat,” she says quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. You blush a little harder, a little redder.
“It’s not my fault. I just have… bad experiences with washing and water in general.”
“Senketsu, you big baby…”
“I just feel like I’m going to be attacked every time I see water!” You look at her, and now that you have a human face, you can employ that tactic of Mako’s, the puppy-eyes, that makes Ryuuko melt every time. “It’s not like you can put me on and transform anymore…”
Ryuuko steps forward and cups your face, on your blind side so you can’t see her hand. “Is that what’s really bothering you Senketsu?” Her eyes are so wide and full of concern all because of you, and you really don’t want to cause her anymore pain. “You don’t feel safe anymore because we can’t fight like we used to?” She’s so close and you can feel her warmth, and a new human thing you have now, you can smell her skin. She smells human and a little like citrus.
You flick an orange and red eye at her. “Yes.” You don’t know if it’s okay to touch her. Can you? Are you allowed to? Humans don’t touch each other like clothes touch them. You want to touch her though, to cover her, to wrap her up in fabric you don’t have anymore, and protect her, keep her safe. You bring a hand up to cover the one she’s rested on your cheek. Her hands aren’t delicate, but they’re not big and rough like yours. Her hands have calluses from the scissor blades and from her bike, but they’re still soft, and they’re still small. Her hands are so very much Ryuuko. “I’m scared now, Ryuuko. I don’t have the same powers I used to. I still have trouble in this body. If you got into a fight, I wouldn’t be able to help you.”
“You don’t need to. Senketsu, no one’s going to mess with me. You know that.” She looks down to her feet as she says this, though, and you’re not convinced. She’s still touching you. You hope she doesn’t let go.
“I know,” you say, and her wide eyes jump back up to meet yours, “but the only reason I was created was to serve you, to save you. Ryuuko, I can’t do that anymore!” You grab her other hand and squeeze it gently. One thing you enjoy about being human is having hands. They’re useful, and they can hold other hands.
“Senketsu,” she breathes, and she sounds so hurt that you immediately regret saying anything. She doesn’t need any more pain. “Senketsu, you’ve already done so much. In any form you take, you’ll always be Senketsu. You’ll always be my Senketsu.” She says this with so much conviction that your new heart seizes up a little, and your new blood rushes a little faster. You’re taller than her, so she has to look up at you. “You’ll always be one of the important people in my life.”
You feel a little burn in your eye.
“You gave me yourself, and I gave you me.” She takes a little breath, and suddenly, you don’t miss being around her ribs too much, because she pulls you down and exhales by your ear. It tickles. “Senketsu, I love you.”
Your new heart nearly stops.
It starts again when she kisses you.
It beats twice as fast when you kiss her back.