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There were times in his life when Jeon Jeongguk really did think that he must be cursed. Not in any life-altering, dramatic fairy-tale way, but rather in the little things in life. Like when he would finish a three hour long workout only to realize they were all out of banana milk. Or when he would get the temperature of the room just right, light his scented candles, plug in his Bluetooth speaker and get down to work, only to find his laptop out of charge. Perhaps it was carelessness, but Jeongguk took this latest example to be a single testament to his hypothesis. He looked up from the flimsy piece of paper, plastering a smile he hoped appeared excited on his face as he nodded at his friends beaming faces. He folded it carefully in his hand, making sure to keep his expression rigidly happy and doing his best to avoid eye contact with the rest of the boys. They could usually see right through him. Today was bound to be no exception.
“Okay, that’s everyone!” Jimin clapped happily, “Remember, the budget is a thousand dollars-“
“A hundred,” Namjoon interrupted patiently, “A hundred dollars.”
Jimin smacked his forehead, “Right, how silly of me, one thousand one hundred doll-“
“Jimin,” Hoseok said firmly, “We talked about this.”
Jimin and Taehyung exchanged pained glances, a silent conversation unfolding rapidly between them.
“We just think-“ Taehyung began.
“No,” Yoongi replied.
“But if we,” Jimin tried.
“Not a chance,” Seokjin sighed, “It’s supposed to be cute and small, that’s the deal. Otherwise it becomes less about the meaning of the gift and more about the amount of money spent.”
“But a thousand dollars is not that much,” Jeongguk spoke quietly, afraid that the nervousness he felt consuming his entire body would be all too apparent in his voice.
“No,” Namjoon said firmly, “One hundred dollars. That’s it.”
Jimin flung himself down across Hoseok’s lap, a perfect pout marring his lips, “Why do we always act like we’re poor?”
……
Jeongguk stared forlornly at the paper sitting next to him. He hadn’t moved it in the last hour in hopes some form of enlightenment would strike him and he’d get inspired with ideas, but it just stared blankly back at him. It really was just so unfair. That out of all six of his hyungs one Jeon Jeongguk would pick one Min Yoongi for secret santa despite the fact that he had pages full of ideas for his other hyungs. And not one single suggestion for Yoongi.
He had had it all figured out. A terrarium for Joonie, a new pair of shoes for Hobi, a notebook for Jimin, those atrocious camel coloured pants for Jin and a new polaroid for Tae. But for Yoongi? How can anyone buy something to express all the love in the world in under a hundred dollars? It seemed like some ridiculous trial of fate to see the value of his love rather than the quantity of it.
Groaning, Jeongguk fell face forward onto his comforter, eyes tightly shut as he tried to beat some sense into his head. Why couldn’t he just climb up to the sky and bring Yoongi hyung the sun? Or the moon rather, he didn’t want him to get sunburnt. But it was unfair. Quite cruel really.
“Oh-oh,” Jimin frowned, leaning in the doorframe, body engulfed in a hideous reindeer sweater a whole week too early, “Why the long face?”
“I don’t want to live anymore,” Jeongguk’s voice muffled by the blanket amplified the despair he already felt.
Jimin rolled his eyes, walking over to push Jeongguk back around before flopping down next to him.
“What happened you loser?”
“Secret santa sucks.”
“You got me didn’t you,” Jimin grinned, “I just came here to tell you exactly what I wanted to spare you the emotional turmoil.”
“Everything is not about you Jimin,” Jeongguk sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair, “I got Yoongi hyung and I just have no idea what to get him.”
Jimin shrugged, “Coffee?”
Jeongguk glared sideways, “No. I need to get him something of real value, something that means something.”
Jimin nodded, head cupped his hands, “Well I can think of a million things but none of them make Namjoon’s stupid hundred dollar rule.”
“Touché,” Jeongguk agreed, falling back into a lying position, “How can you say “I love you” in just a hundred bucks?”
…….
“I’m not following,” Hoseok squinted over the book he had propped open in front of him, “Why is this so important again?”
“Because,” Jeongguk trilled the syllables for extra emphasis, “It’s Yoongi. I can’t just get him something nice or okay, it has to be perfect.”
Hoseok frowned, puffing out his cheeks as he mulled it over, “He isn’t particularly materialistic, so this shouldn’t be that hard.”
“Can you think of anything?”
“No,” Hoseok admitted softly, “Ooh get him a new pair of gloves.”
“Why?” Jeongguk blinked confusedly, unsure of what happened to Yoongi’s last pair of gloves.
“So that I can borrow them.”
……
“I mean,” Jeongguk said, careful with the way he put his words forward, “You lived with him for really long so you must know what his greatest, deepest desire is.”
“Death,” Seokjin said boredly, flipping a page of his magazine without looking up at Jeongguk, “And rabbit stew.”
“I can’t give him either of those things,” Jeongguk bit his lip.
“Cause you can’t kill your brethren?”
“Yup.”
……
Taehyung yawned exaggeratedly, stretching like a cat and clearing his throat as he made eye contact with Jeongguk hidden in the corridor, “Don’t you think this whole secret santa thing is such a pain?”
Yoongi glanced up from his phone, an amused smirk kissing the side of his face, “Not really.”
“Oh come on,” Taehyung kicked at Yoongi’s heels, “Isn’t it so hard trying to figure out what someone else could want.”
“No,” Yoongi replied simply, “It’s actually fun.”
“Oh so you just know what to get?” Taehyung looked vaguely insulted despite the staged content of the conversation.
“Yeah,” Yoongi raised an eyebrow, “Do you need help?”
“I mean,” Taehyung cleared his throat again, eyes constantly darting towards Jeongguk, “Do-do you know what you want?”
Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m fine with anything.”
Taehyung pouted, puppy dog eyes meeting Jeongguk’s in apology. Yoongi frowned at his expression, turning to see what he was looking at. Jeongguk ducked into his room, mentally cursing Taehyung for being so stupidly obvious. There was just no one he could depend on here.
…….
“Holly,” Namjoon nodded slowly, “Holly is his favourite thing in the world.”
“Okay, but I can’t give him his dog for Christmas can I?” Jeongguk huffed, head tucked between his folded arms, “That would be liked theft, but weirder.”
“You can get him something for Holly?” Namjoon bit his lip, “Look Jeongguk this is Yoongi. If you gave him a spoon he would probably treasure it for life just because you gave it to him.”
“I know,” Jeongguk groaned, “Which is why I want it to be something worth treasuring and not some useless junk.”
Namjoon patted his shoulder gently, “Don’t overthink it so much, just go with your gut okay?”
Easy for him to say when his gut wasn’t so full of butterflies.
……
“Hyung I need to tell you something,” Jeongguk’s throat was so dry, every word seemed a colossal effort, his hands nervously folding around him.
Yoongi smiled at him sleepily, his entire frame spelling exhaustion despite the lit up computer screens, “What’s up Kookie?”
Jeongguk tugged his sleeves down miserably, “It’s about the secret santa.”
Yoongi paled for a brief moment, his eyes alert as he took in Jeongguk’s slightest movement, “Wh-what about it?”
Jeongguk stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of Yoongi’s bed as he pulled his knees up to his chest.
“I’m your secret santa.”
“Jeongguk what? That’s not how – you’re not supposed to tell me,” Yoongi sighed setting his headphones down and wheeling over to Jeongguk.
“I know,” Jeongguk found himself oddly emotional all of a sudden, “But I just- I couldn’t think of anything to get you and I wanted to get you something really perfect, okay? So I just-“
“Hey, that’s okay,” Yoongi’s eyes were soft as he tried to reach out but Jeongguk barrelled onward.
“I asked Jiminie and then Hobi hyung and Jin hyung, I even sent Tae to try and find out what you wanted but you didn’t want anything so I asked Joonie hyung-“
“Hey Jeongguk hey, it doesn’t matter-“
“-And then I thought I should just get you something small but I couldn’t even think of something like that cause I’m so stupid-“
“Jeongguk,” Yoongi caught Jeongguk’s hands, “Stop okay, it’s alright baby.”
Jeongguk sniffled, his wide eyes trembling with suppressed emotion as he let Yoongi calm him down. He felt the warmth of his fingers, the weight of his hands, and a steady feeling of serenity slowly took him over.
“Here I’ll tell you a secret,” Yoongi lent forward confidentially, “I got you too.”
Jeongguk felt the pit in his stomach instantly deepen, this was not happening.
“Oh,” Jeongguk said softly.
“And I didn’t really want to get you some stupid, small thing either,” Yoongi pushed Jeongguk’s cherry strands away from his face, eyes dark with a little something Jeongguk hadn’t seen before.
“What did you get me then?” Jeongguk whispered.
“This.” Yoongi whispered back, softly cupping Jeongguk’s face. He lent forward and before Jeongguk could register what was happening, a pair of soft coffee-stained lips were pressing against his, warm and full of infinity.
It couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but Jeongguk was sure the world had changed structure by the time Yoongi pulled away, something so cataclysmic must have fractured the very universe.
“Oh,” Jeongguk said again, his head spinning too much to form coherent words.
Yoongi rested his forehead against his, eyes soft and wide and full of hope.
“Did you like your present,” His breath was sweet and cool against Jeongguk’s fevered skin.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk nodded, his rabbit heart racing so hard he could barely hear himself, “{It was perfect.”
Yoongi grinned slowly, an indescribable happiness hiding behind the smug façade.
“You know you can give me one back,” Yoongi murmured, “If you don’t have a gift.”
“I don’t have a gift for New Year’s either. Or Easter, your birthday, Independence day,” Jeongguk lent forward, hands making their way to Yoongi’s thick hair, “Guess I’m going to have a lot to make up for.”