Chapter Text
Hermione sighed as she slumped into an oversized chair stirring circles in her tea with a tarnished silver spoon as she sat quietly, listening to the chimes pierce the stifling silence. She watched them sway outside her window, admiring how the sound complimented the warm scent of the chai tea and the crackling of the fire.
She let her mind drift about the decision she made to go back to Hogwarts. Tomorrow around the same time, she would be in the Gryffindor tower preparing to face the year that laid before her.
Hogwarts had closed down for a year due to the loss of staff and damages done to the castle from the war. She knew nothing was going to be normal when she walked through those doors. There also would be no Harry or Ron for her to babysit since they would be doing Auror training instead of completing their education, but at least she would be in the same class as Ginny. Hermiones' lips twitched into a smile knowing that Ginny was diligent at doing her own homework and managing her own studies.
Hermione spent her whole life engulfed in education, grasping at every opportune time to enlighten herself, and nothing went beyond her reach that she could not learn. Yet, she couldn't figure out what to do after she had graduated. Letting out a light sigh, Hermione took a small sip of the warm spicy beverage as she began to reflect upon her year.
She had been staying over at the Burrow that year doing odd jobs here and there to help save up some money after her final year at Hogwarts. At least then, she wouldn't have to rely on anyone or overstay her welcome at the Burrow once she was no longer living under the roof of Hogwarts. Studying, reading and working was the only revolving factors that helped her cope with the desolation she felt.
As for everyone else, they all were recovering from the war in their own way. In more ways than one, the golden trio grew apart. There was something unspoken between everyone, perhaps it was sorrow, anguish, confusion or loss. Maybe a bit of everything or maybe not. Harry and Ron barely kept in touch due to their busy schedule training, though the times they wrote they did not say much. Mostly small talk and small tidbits of information they could share. She had not held it against them, no, if anything she encouraged them to live the life they have always wanted. Especially Harry. Harry could finally live a life he deserved and with that thought, it made Hermione swell up with pride for her best friend. Even Ginny and Harry were courting and seeing them both together gave her enough assurance that everything for Harry would be fine.
Images of the war branded themselves into Hermiones' mind. The mere thought war made Hermione flinched as the memories began to pour themselves into her brain. Hermione then recalled the shattering memory of the Potions Master slumped up against the glass wall of the shrieking shack as he bled out. Clenching her jaws tightly, she slapped her eyes shut as her mind replayed the sound of his body being slammed into the thin walls as Nagini bit into his flesh repeatedly. She never thought he would pull through from the attack and even after he survived long enough to make it to the hospital wing at Hogwarts, she stayed by his side to ease her worry that he wouldn't make it. She wasn't exactly sure why she found herself constantly sitting at his bedside watching the rising and falling of his chest as she silently read. Perhaps it was the lack of visitors or the mere fact that she had to be there for her own peace of mind. He had her respect after everything he had done for Harry. She remembered reading to him, though she grew disturbed at the thought he could wake up any moment and call her insufferable or say something to shatter her fragile state of mind. Perhaps her insecurities got the best of her.
But little did she know that the times she read out loud he could hear her read from time to time. It was the times she read that he could pull through his slumber.
Not long after Snape was getting regular visitors he made a mental note that Miss Granger didn't show up as often anymore. Though it was cordial of her to visit, he wasn't phased that the know-it-all didn't visit often. He didn't want pity nor did he want people to feel obligated to view him differently. What Severus Snape wanted was peace after he had faithfully protected Lilys' son to the best of his ability. It rather annoyed him that the secret got out that he was one of Dumbledores' faithful spy, yet at the same time, it was a relief that it was all finished.
He knew that the ministry was going to be meddlesome once he woke up from his gods-forsaken coma. Whenever that would be.
Snapes' thoughts strangled him as he listened to the commotion going on around him as he drifted in and out of consciousness. The only visitors who seemed to visit him were some of his Slytherins, his godson, and Minerva.
Potter visited eventually, though it made Snape inwardly cringe as Potter knew too much about him. Of course, the bloody Gryffindor had spilled all his secrets to the ministry to save him from Azkaban. Snape then thought bitterly about how he was ripped from the tranquil hands of death and dragged back into the land of the living by a prying know-it-all. 'Gryffindors and their morals,' Snape mocked. If he had died, he wouldn't have to put up with all of this unnecessary nonsense. Unlike the Granger girl, no one talked to him or stayed too long, which he couldn't care less if they stayed or went, anyone who visited him sent him into a foul mood. Though when the Gryffindors' little princess visited, he noted she would read to him more. Sometimes she would apologize if the reading material was not interesting, but she didn't seem to care otherwise. Until one day, Miss Granger was in a talking mood.
She told him about her sister Thalia; her sister who was ten years younger than Miss Granger.
"No one knows I have a sister, she was only a year old when I started to attend Hogwarts," Miss Granger rambled.
Snape inwardly rolled his eyes, tuning her out as she began to talk more about this sister of hers. Gods, the thought of two know-it-alls made him physically sick.
"I didn't have much of a choice, I had to make that sacrifice. For them at least," she continued.
"It was the only way I knew they would be safe."
Snape's mind snapped back to his former student as he grew quiet to ponder what she meant when she said that.
"They 'moved' to Australia, which is where mum grew up as a child before moving back to London," she said in almost a whisper. "Mum always talked about moving back to Australia and opening up her own dental clinic. One could simply say that I gave them an opportunity," He could hear the smug smile on her face as she let out a small snort. "It was that or get killed by Voldemort and his followers," she spoke so very casually as she waited for a few long moments before she spoke again. Snapes' chest tightened as she said that name so effortlessly.
"I'll never get to see them again, well I can, but they won't know who I am. I will just be another face, a stranger to all of them," Miss Granger sighed.
"I suppose such is life," she stated before she got up from the chair that was beside his bed.
"Hope you wake up soon Professor, take care, sir," Hermione let out a heavy sigh while she grabbed her things and left Snape alone with his thoughts once more.
The Granger girl didn't visit him after that 'conversation', and even though he still had his regular visitors, he became more appreciative of being read to then laying in silence as one stared at his vegetable like state. It soured his day every time he heard someone sit in the creaky chair beside his bed. Of course, the only exception was Minerva. She didn't have to say much to know what she wanted to say on her daily visits. She simply would give his hand a squeeze from time to time and tucked him in before she left. He would have to remind her when he woke up that he did not need to be coddled.
Time soon began to tie into itself as days bled into each other as he continued to float in and out of reality. Till one day he heard a familiar voice talking in the background to Poppy. He listened to the footsteps approach as he could visualize his former frizzy-haired student wonder up to his bedside.
"He should wake up any day now." He heard Poppy say as she stood at the foot of his bed.
"That's a relief," Miss Granger smiled as she sat down beside him.
He could only guess that she brought a book to read to him or would continue to give him her life story again.
"If you notice any movement, just be sure to come get me," He heard Poppy's feet shuffle away as he laid there listening.
"I suppose this will be my last visit then Professor," the girl muttered. He could feel himself roll his eyes.
'No one told you that you had to visit .'
"I highly doubt you would appreciate my company once you are conscious," Hermione verbally poked as she switched the subject.
"I've been doing some reading," she continued.
'Why am I not surprised?'
"I highly doubt you have found yourself drawn to muggle literature," She smiled.
"But, I thought perhaps you may find appreciation for this one. It's the only thing tha-" her voice cracked.
She took in a deep breath and shook her head in disbelief of what she was sharing with her Professor.
It was around that time that Hermione broke it off with Ron. She had been a tad bit emotional that day, not to mention that the war only happened a few months ago. Minutes crawled by as she composed herself before she brought herself to read. Words began to roll off her tongue as she let herself drift from her emotions as her focus was on her proposed mission.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley
She sniffed and whisked away the tears that escaped her eyes while scoffing at her emotional state. Snapping the book shut, he listened to her rustling in her bag once more. She sat for a few moments before she spoke again.
"I guess I should leave you to your own devices," the girl muttered under her breath. He heard the chair move and listened for footsteps to walk away, but was surprised when he felt her hair dust his cheek. She smelled of lavender, lemongrass and a hint of honey. He hadn't expected her to be so close to his person that it almost startled him when she began to whisper in his ear.
"Severus." She breathed.
His finger twitched as the hair on his arms stood up. She laughed under her breath at the mentioning of saying his first name.
"I know to address you in that manner would be a week worth of detention," she let out another quiet snort. "I suppose you will never know, it will be our little secret," she teased.
"But, if you must know Severus," she continued.
"You are one of the bravest men I have ever known," She drew another breath before she then moved her face towards his and planted a kiss on his forehead. He felt drops of tears falling onto his face and the warmth of her body radiating off of her as she leaned over him. She pulled away and sniffed again.
"Oops," he heard her croak as she brushed her thumb across his cheeks to wipe her tears off of him.
"I'm not even sure why I'm even talking to you, it's not as if you will recall any of this," She then gave his hand a gentle squeeze with a slight frown drawn on her face.
"Perhaps that's the point of all of this," She smiled again shaking her head as she looked away. She argued with herself once more as he waited for her to continue, but instead, she placed his hand gently onto his stomach as she carefully brushed the hairs from his face and tucked it behind his ear.
"I wish you nothing but happiness, Professor Snape," she then said as she stood up and gathered her belongings before she began to walked away.
Snape couldn't remember a time anyone had ever touched him or spoken to him that way. Not since..No... No one ever dared to do so. Though he knew she would never be so bold to speak to him in such a way if he were awake. What irritated Snape more is that something tugged at him a certain way to hear a bold sniffling Gryffindor sitting beside him as she read poetry to him to help pass the time. Surely she would bounce back after some time had passed.
Hermione fondled the memory of Professor Snape as she finished her cup of tea. She wondered how he was doing now that the war was over. Was he still going to teach? With a shrug she glanced down at her forearm and put the empty cup on the side table as she traced the scaring of the word 'Mudblood' engraved into her porcelain skin. She remembered the pain; she remembered how the essence of her existence was rather once frowned upon. She knew that it still was to others, which still somehow sent electricity throughout her entire body at the thought. The thought of being seen as undeserving because of her blood status rattled her mind. With a slow breath out the nose, she knew she would have to accept that there would be awful memories at Hogwarts, and it would be empty without Ron and Harry. She smoothed out her wild hair and looked across the room to see Crookshank sprawled across the bed. Letting out a terrible big yawn, Hermione she dragged her feet to bed. Tomorrow she was going to Hogwarts, and it almost frightened her of the year she would have to face.