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Looking back, he'd realise it was the moment when everything changed, that moment when he agreed to take Melisandre to King's Landing. Since her arrival on Dragonstone she had spent most of her time with Selyse. He wasn't quite sure what his wife found to talk to a Priestess of R'hllor about, but if it kept Selyse occupied then that was one less thing he had to worry about. He had long known that the atmosphere on Dragonstone did not suit his Queen, but they had learned to make the best of their situation. Occasionally she would voice her discontent but that hadn't happened once since Melisandre had arrived.
For his part he tried to have as little to do with Melisandre as possible. She made him somewhat uneasy. It wasn't just the way she looked, which was unnatural to say the least, but the heat that radiated from her when she stood near him.
He had agreed to her request to join him on the voyage without much hesitation. Apparently she had never been to the capital and wished to conduct some business with a priest from her Temple that had been based there for some years past, and to pick up some herbs and spices at the markets. Nothing grew on Dragonstone - not wheat, not barley, and certainly no kind of herbs or spices. When he was saying yes it barely registered with him that he would have to spend two days and two nights on the boat in her company. But the minute he was on board he started to get nervous. He'd never been around her without Selyse being present and being alone with her made him very uncomfortable. On the first night he took pains to avoid her, telling her he needed to catch up on some important reading. On the second night he realised how remiss he was being as a host and invited her to dine with him. He took pains to have a guard present at all times. He knew how these things could look. She picked at her food and they'd made pleasant but vague conversation. She had asked a lot of questions about Robert. In retrospect he should have known.
Because now here she was at the feast in the Red Keep the very next day, hanging on Robert's every word, looking entranced by him. Robert had been handsome in his youth. But he was certainly not handsome anymore. But then that had not mattered for a long time. He never had any shortage of women willing to go to his bed. He had thought that perhaps a woman like Melisandre might be immune to such things.
He couldn't hear what they were talking about from where he was sitting but he heard her laugh and it annoyed him to even hear that. Suddenly they stood up together and she took his arm as he walked her down the dais and out of the banquet hall. He watched them leave in a sort of horrified fascination. He had taken this priestess to King's Landing and now Robert was taking her to bed. It nagged at the back of his head that it seemed very distasteful at the least.
He sipped at his water and stole a glance down the dais at Cersei. Her face was a mask but he knew she was furious. She pulled at a grape and threw it across her plate, then flicked her fingers. She was surely accustomed to Robert cheating in front of her in front of all and sundry. But she was also probably accustomed to him only pawing at serving girls and random members of court.
Melisandre was different. She radiated power as well as heat. She had mentioned briefly to Stannis over dinner the previous night that she was of very humble birth. But you would have never known that to see her gliding around the room, bewitching everyone she met.
Suddenly he was sickened to the pit of his stomach. He had had enough. Feasts were tiresome to him at the bes of times. He got up and began to weave through the heaving, racuous throng.
The blast of cool air in the corridor was a blessed relief. He stopped to take in a deep breath
"You've seen enough as well?"
He was in no mood to spar with Cersei so he quickened his pace, but she kept two steps behind.
"I'm tired and feasts are tedious to me, as you well know."
"You know it's harder to stomach when it's someone of standing."
He stopped and turned around to face her.
"What do you want Cersei?"
"I am sympathising with you Stannis. We share a common grievance. That doesn't happen very often so I thought I'd try and reach out to you."
"We share nothing."
"We do share a loathing of that pig."
"He is my brother. He is our King. Have some respect."
"He is a disgrace to that crown; he makes a mockery of you and still you defend him." She jabbed at his chest while spitting the words at him.
"And I saw the way you were looking at him with that fire priestess. I could see the jealousy."
"Don't be ridiculous, the Lady Melisandre is nothing to me".
"Oh Stannis, I've seen your stony face at court long enough to know when there is something else going on under the surface. You want her."
"I do not!"
"You fool. You're just as much a slave to your cock as the rest of them, you've just kept yourself away from temptation." She sneered and turned from him.
He grabbed her wrist, "I won't have someone like you casting judgement on me."
"Someone like me?! Who is casting judgement now?"
Suddenly she pressed her hand to the front of his breeches
He dropped her wrist and leapt back from her.
"What are you afraid of? Of feeling something?"
"You're a viper."
"I'm a survivor. You resent that." She tilted her head, "But then you admire that too don't you?" She lunged for him again and pressed her hand insistently against him.
"You know Robert can't even get it up anymore? He stumbles to my chamber some nights, he's in his cups and he's reeking and I... I don't know how he's had so many bastards really; I'm wondering if they prop it up somehow?"
He looked around frantically. She had somehow managed to manouvere them into a dark alcove but the very sight of them would be scandalous should anyone happen past.
"Or maybe it's that he doesn't think me beautiful anymore." She began to rub his crotch in steady strokes.
"I think you think I'm beautiful, though you hate that you think that." Her lips curled up in a wicked smile.
He'd always found her beautiful on the outside. She was one of the greatest beauties in the Seven Kingdoms. It was what was on the inside that he found repellent. Then and now.
But all his blood was rushing to his cock and now he was repelled by his own body. He couldn't even fathom why he was allowing her to do this. He would not even let Selyse do such a thing. He couldn't even speak.
She kissed his neck ever so gently, with a tenderness he could scarcely believe possible from anyone, never mind Cersei Lannister.
"You smell better than him. Then again, I imagine rotting corpses in Baelor's Sept smell better than him".
She began to curl her other hand in the short hairs at the back of his neck, "Why are you still here?"
He couldn't answer her. By rights he should head straight for the boat to Dragonstone
She slipped her hand inside his doublet and moved her hand down, palm splayed on his stomach. He groaned. Robert was probably in Melisandre's bedchambers now, grunting on top of her. But how could he even think about Robert in a scathing manner now; surely he was no better than him?
Cersei's hand was on his cock and he cursed as she trailed a finger along the growing length of it.
"You're bigger than him?"
He grimaced.
"And here was me thinking Robert was better than you at all things. But maybe he's been overcompensating."
He gritted his teeth.
"But do you know where to put it?"
He came back to his senses.
"I know exactly where to put it, and more importantly where not to put it." He pushed her away and straightened his doublet.
She laughed and rearranged her dress.
"You couldn't handle me anyway. Your brother can't see to my needs and I doubt you could either. I'd have better luck with Renly, and we all know what he is."
He took two steps forward and pushed her against the wall. He put his hands on her shoulders. He wasn't even using much pressure but she was pushing back into him.
"I'd have care to talk to me with more respect."
She bared her teeth at him, "Why? You're just the Master of Ships. I am the Queen. He wouldn't even make you Hand. How did that feel Stannis, passed over yet again? Always left to pick up the pieces while he whores around?"
He let his hands drop but she grabbed one of his wrists, "Because you know what I feel now, Stannis?"
"What?"
"I feel nothing."
Their faces were so close, their hearts hammering in time together. Kissing her seemed like the most natural thing in the world for some unfathomable reason. He smashed his lips onto hers and she wrapped her hands around his neck. She quickly took the lead in the kiss and he let her. The sloppiness of it all both turned his stomach and caused him to kiss her harder. So this was what sin tasted like. This was what Robert did with all his whores. This was probably what he was doing with Melisandre right this very minute. This and more. He moved a hand across her stomach, then pulled at the fabric of her dress.
She broke the kiss and whispered into his ear.
"Do it before you change your bloody mind." She pushed her hips against him, "Do it."
Her breathing was ragged. If he didn't know better he would think she was enjoying this more for the feeling and less for the game. But Cersei Lannister was forever playing the game. As his fingers bunched up the fabrics of her skirts and her bosoms grazed his chest he wondered why Robert could never have been satisfied with her, how she couldn't have been enough to satisfy most if not all of his urges.
He found her wet between her legs. Very wet. He glanced up at her and her green eyes were wide and wild.
"Do it," she hissed.
He plunged two fingers inside her and she instantly beat her fists against his sides, "Gods what are you trying to do, stab me!?"
"This is what you wanted isn't it?" he snarled. His cheeks were flaming. Now from anger as well as shame.
He withdrew his fingers and scowled at her but she grabbed his hand.
"That explains a lot."
She brought his hand back between her legs, until his fingertips were barely brushing her.
"You barely need to touch against it."
The absurdity of the situation was not lost on him, but he was so affronted by her mocking that he wanted to wipe the smile off her face.
"I know what to do," he muttered.
"Your fingers said otherwiiiii..." She stopped suddenly and bit her lip.
"What was that?" he moved his fingertips carefully but methodically in circles. He had to block out the lapping sounds at first, but then began to take a perverse pleasure from the moans that started to come out of her mouth. She gripped his shoulder and arched herself more into his touch.
"Harder."
"I didn't think you wanted that?"
"Harder you fool," she snarled, tugging at one of his ears.
He bared his teeth in turn at her and began pushing his fingers against her, swirling them faster and faster, drawing even more moans from her until finally he felt her tremble beneath him. She gasped much too loudly and he clamped his free hand over her mouth.
She whimpered against his hand and he pulled it away and then stared numbly at her.
She closed her eyes and smiled, leaning back into the wall and dropping her hand around the edges of his laces again, her thumb grazing the hair around his cock.
"You know if you did that for your shrew faced wife more often, she'd probably not look so...well, shrew-faced."
Selyse. His stomach lurched. What foolishness. What depravity. The thought of even shaming her in such a way with such a woman sickened him. He pulled his hand away and staggered backwards.
She sneered at him , "I was wondering how long it would take you.
She was remarkably calm as she began to rearrange her skirts.
"You see Stannis, you really are no better than him. You may as well just fuck that Red Priestess and be done with it."
She smoothed her hair, hoisted up her cleavage and strolled away, as regal as he'd ever seen her. How he despised her. But he despised himself even more.
He stumbled foggy-headed to his chambers and immediately began pulling off his doublet. The shirt underneath was drenched in sweat. He wrenched that off too, before realising with a start that Melisandre was standing in front of him. He’d noticed she seemed to glide around the passages of Dragonstone. But she had never arrived unannounced in a room.
He quickly put his shirt back on. Would the humiliations of this night never end?
“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you knock?”
“I did. You didn’t hear me”
“And the guard just let you in?”
“You’re the ones that told them I was to have free rein of the Keep.”
That was true. He knew she was bound to be viewed with some suspicion when she arrived so he had laid down some ground rules from the outset. He didn’t entertain any discourse on the matter either.
“I didn’t expect to see you again tonight.”
“I was looking for you back at the feast?”
He could feel his jaw tighten, “Oh, you went back did you?”
“Yes. I was only gone a short while so I was surprised to see you were gone when I returned.”
He snorted, “A short while? Robert must have been in his cups so…”
“What do you mean?”
“You could have at least been a bit more discrete about it. Walking out in front of everyone like that.”
“You think I …..with your brother?”
“Well didn’t you?”
“I’m a priestess of R’hllor! How low you must think of me. I asked the King to show me the dragon skulls in the dungeon. I’ve heard so much about them and I wanted to see them for myself.”
He could feel himself flushing. He hadn’t seen those skulls in years. Of course anyone would be curious. Trust Robert to offer her a guided tour when he had been the one to banish them out of his sight in the first place.
“He did try to kiss me of course,” she laughed, “but as you say he was in his cups. So I was ready for him.”
He huffed and tried to lighten the situation, "I’d have thought you’d have enough of dragons back on Dragonstone.”
She moved closer and he instinctively took another step back.
“Well now that you mention it, there is something very important I need to discuss with you. And it's about dragons."
He slumped down on the edge of the bed, forgetting decorum for a moment in his utter fatigue.
"Go on."