Chapter Text
Rhett to camera: “Ok, since it’s the 1000th episode and you mythical beasts have been asking for it, FOREVER-”
Link: “We read the comments, on youtube and twitter. We hear you guys!”
Rhett: “Link and I are going to kiss, on camera, just once.”
Link: “Because we love you, and this is what you want.”
Rhett: “Don’t get used to this, it’s just this once, ok?”
They turn to each other. Link puts on his peculiarly perfect peanut butter and peppermint lip balm and Rhett, nervously, runs his fingers over the top of his hair.
Rhett to Link: “Yeah, glob that on there, make a nice barrier for me.”
Link to Rhett: “Don’t make this more awkward, this is weird enough.”
Link offers lip balm to Rhett, but he waves it away. He wants to get this over with already.
Rhett: “You ready?”
Link: “Yes.”
They scoot their chairs closer, lean in and finally, ever so gently, they pressed their lips together.
It’s very chaste, at first, even comical as their lips are puckered out in an exaggerated fashion. There are some giggles, mostly from Link, but also from Rhett. The crew is stifling laughter in the background. Then, they press closer. It’s instinctual, unintentional, unplanned. Rhett opens his mouth very very slightly, unthinking, just feeling. Link’s lips slide right into place, like they were meant to be their, like they belonged along either side of Rhett’s upper lip. They can’t hear the crew anymore, but only because they no longer care. There is no crew, no studio, no camera. There is only them and the kiss.
Link feets his breath catch. Rhett feels his heart stop.
Someone in the back drops something, a pen maybe. Reality snaps right back and the two men pull away. There is a tiniest of split seconds as they look at one another, both of their eyes dilated way more than they should be. Then they turn back to the camera. Rhett lets out a bolstered laugh but only Link can tell it’s fake. He puts on a crooked grin and shakes his head.
Link to camera: “Well, I hope you’re happy beasts. We are never doing that again.”
Rhett to camera: “Never.”
Rhett is rubbing his hands on the desk, not looking up, still chuckling quietly.
Link takes over, pulling in the mythical wheel to end the show as he reminds the audience to subscribe for more and click through to good mythical more. Rhett isn’t listening very closely, trying to clear strange, new thoughts out of his head. After Link reads the wheel ending, something very innocuous, both he and Rhett look back to each other. To everyone else, things look normal, but as they lock eyes, they both know something is different.
Rhett to himself: ‘oh no’
Link to himself: ‘shit.’