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Good things don't happen to me. I’d accepted that a long ass time ago, back in my hometown of Hollywood, where the only thing you got for free was sleazy sex with strangers and disappointment. Zeus knows, Mom had always been satisfied with it.
Point was, girls like me didn’t get to wake up one day and discover their long lost relative bequeathed them millions of dollars, or find random money on the sidewalk, or get things right the first time around. As far as Nemesis was concerned, luck and good fortune would never find me.
So, no, people like me didn’t win over beautiful wonders like Reyna, but somehow it had happened. Reyna is everything to me, and I would thank the gods every day for her if they had anything to do with it.
But...still.
Good things don’t happen to me.
And, when they do, well...
“I’m pregnant.”
Something bad always seems to follow.
“You’re—you—you’re—but—”
“But we used protection?” Reyna guesses the rest of the jumbled sentence. She’s right. “Which are only 97% effective anyway?”
“Well, yeah,” and then her words catch up to me, and I feel like I’m choking. “But—you’re on birth control—I don’t understand.”
Reyna shrugs like it’s no big deal, like we’re discussing how much it sucks that we have a test in Algebra. But there’s something behind her apathy. Something I recognize better than I wish I did. Uncertainty.
I think about how I should handle the situation, take control and hold Reyna as she mourns her perfectly sculpted body and career as a praetor.
But I can’t be the strong one. Not when I feel so damn guilty.
“I’m sorry,” the words spill out. “Gods, Reyna—Rey, I’m so—I’m so sorry.”
“Thalia,” Reyna’s eyes melt into a familiar warmth—the warmth that only I have drowned in. But that’s surely because I’m the only one that’s been fortunate enough to see it. “We’re in this together. We’re both at fault.”
“No,” I reply unsteadily, and I can feel a nervous sweat bead in my eyebrows. Any second now, it’ll be searing my eyes. “If I wasn’t—if I didn’t have a fucking—"
Reyna’s firm grab of my jaw stops me cold. “Then you wouldn’t be you. Stop this.”
I’m glad she stops me from what I was about to say. I’m not sure I would have forgiven myself, not again.
“What...what do you want to do?” I ask as steadily as I can manage. I try not to influence her answer with my tense expression, but I know she notices how rigid I sit in my chair.
“It’s ours,” Reyna says plainly, matter of fact. “I want to keep it.”
It’s not the answer I expected, but I feel a weird sense of relief rush over my bones. I’m not ready for this. I know I’m not. I’m just gonna end up like my father and get out of dodge—maybe come back years later and impregnate her again for good measure. Or I might turn out worse than that. Maybe Reyna will be the one to leave, I’ll be the one left to drink myself sick every night and beat my kid senseless.
Why in Zeus’ tits do I feel relieved? I should be listening to that dark little voice. This kind of thing might have been normal for citizens of New Rome, but the whole starting a family and living long and healthy lives bit wasn’t very relevant to Greek demigods. I would know. I’ve died. Hello! I’m like the poster child for that.
“You don’t want to?”
“I do,” I say, and it surprises me that it tastes like the truth—the truth that I’m reluctant yet helpless to accept. “One day. Today. Nine months from now. With you.”
The more I talk, the more I’m sure, and that scares me more than anything, more than fucking up, more than ruining any future my potential child might hope to have, more than Hylla’s reaction when she finds out. It was funny how I've killed more monsters than I can count, survived a full-size statue crumbling on top of me, faced Artemis and all her wrath when I left the Hunters, toppled giants, and yet my unborn offspring was scaring me shitless.
“You mean that?” Reyna’s voice softens and I lean my face into her offered palm. It’s intense and I know she can easily see every emotion I’m feeling, but I hold eye contact with her. She needs to see my honesty. She needs to see the love that’s always simmering close to the surface. “I’m glad it’s you.”
I smirk and I can tell she knows that I’m about to say something inappropriate and stupid, because her hand twitches like she can’t wait to slap me for it.
But she interrupts me before I can. Smart girl.
“There’s one other cause for concern.”
I know what she means to say.
“We used protection, and you stayed on your birth control.”
“Meaning...”
“The gods,” my voice is fire. “It has to be Hera. She gets off on torturing me.”
Reyna narrows her eyes. “Having a child with me is a form of torture for you?”
“Not what I meant,” I dismiss. I’ll pay for that later.
There’s something more to this. There has to be. Hera certainly didn’t grant blessings, at least not to me. Can you blame me for being skeptical? Hera was very capable of disguising a curse as a blessing.
“I just mean...what if we give our hopes up?” I try to explain when I see how angry she’s getting. And an angry Reyna is a terrifying Reyna. “What if we’re expecting this beautiful little baby, half you and half me, and you give birth to a hydra? I mean, if this is Hera we’re talking about here, we really can’t rule that out.”
Reyna shrugged. “Fine. If it comes out a hydra, kill it. It’s not like they don’t have modern technology in New Rome. We’ll have regular ultrasounds.”
“Kill our hydra baby?” I repeat for clarification. “Check.”
Reyna looks like she can finally breathe, and I can’t help the small quirk of my lips. I take her hand in mind and squeeze with just enough pressure to reassure.
“When do you want to tell the others?”
It’s a fair question, but it almost makes the tall, proud, imposing praetor shrink in her chair.
“I—I don't know.”
“I’m here,” I reassure her, and I feel her heart thrum happily in her fingers. “I’ll do all the talking if you want.”
“Some of them...some of them don’t even know about you,” the concern in her rebuttal makes me smile fondly.
I roll my eyes. “Who cares? I can take every single one of them.”
Reyna smiles a little for the first time since this conversation started, and I have the sudden urge to take her into my arms. So I do.
Her head finds my chest and it rests there, her muscled arms wrapping around my torso. Her hands meet at my waist.
“Never thought we’d be the first,” Reyna admits quietly. “Always figured Percy and Annabeth would get there before everyone.”
“Annabeth is too smart for that,” I disagree. “Percy, on the other hand...”
Reyna swats me and it makes me chuckle.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if Hera arranged for Annabeth to get pregnant, too,” I say, and it’s mostly a joke, but I still hope the Queen of the Gods doesn’t overhear and get any smart ideas. “They aren’t exactly best friends, either.”
“Thank you,” Reyna murmurs into my neck, and I don’t have to ask her what for.
I bite back the words that almost fall from my lips; I resist the urge to tell her how grateful I am for her, how she completes me, how I’d support her through anything, even follow her through the Underworld and back. No words could ever define us. But I hold her tighter and I know she hears the words left unspoken.
The first appointment is the worst. I got called Reyna's friend about five times just coming through the door. Reyna is patient and strong, correcting the receptionist every time.
"Thalia is my girlfriend," she says.
"And baby daddy," I add nonchalantly, but I can feel the harsh, inquisitive, disbelieving stares. "Or hydra daddy," I say stupidly, because I have absolutely no concept of when enough is enough. "We aren't sure yet."
The receptionist nods numbly, searching through a stack of papers that she just printed. She hands Reyna two forms. "I suggest filling out a health proxy form, so that your girlfriend can access important health information that concerns you or the baby. The other form, just list your titles in the Legion, answer the preliminary background information, and sign your consent for treatment at the bottom left." She flashed a professional smile. "Let me know if you have any questions."
Here's a question, lady: want to get your eyebrows singed off?
Reyna's comforting hand on my forearm draws me back into the waiting room, and we sit against the far wall. She begins filling out both forms, dodging my attempts to fill out my own. "It's all in Latin," she excuses, and proceeds to ask me questions. "Relation to client?"
"Fiance."
Reyna laughs. "Trying to do the right thing? Make me an honest woman?"
"You're already an honest woman," I argue. "A brutally honest woman, actually."
The jibe dies down, but she hesitates before filling out that particular line. Her pencil falls against the clipboard, and then those piercing dark eyes are on mine.
"Did you really mean to ask me?"
"I don't have a ring," I try to play it off.
"That's not what I asked," she continues in her assault, undeterred. "Were you asking me to marry you?"
I swallow anxiously, and I hate that I can feel my hands shaking with the nervous energy. I know she sees it. Any minute now, the lights in the health center will start to flicker.
"I..."
Reyna leaned forward, her expression still unreadable and her eyes narrowing in on me. "Do you want to marry me? Or are you just saying it because you feel like you should?" My silence and confusion was enough of an answer for her. She reclined back in her seat, returning to her paperwork.
I can't help but feel like I fucked up, and when I fuck up, I usually try anything I can to fix it. Immediately.
"Reyna—"
"No worries, mi cielo," her words soothe me, just a bit. There's a hint of a smile on her face. "Just...next time, ask me when you're ready. Don't ask me because we are having a child together. And don't ask me at the obstetrician's, either. Really, would it kill you to be more romantic about it?"
I smirk. "Didn't take you for a romantic."
Reyna smiles back teasingly. "I'm not."
"Praetor," a nurse calls, and we both stand up and make our way towards her. She seems shocked to see Reyna pregnant and with a Greek, but I'm sure more scandalous things have happened in New Rome. "Right this way, please."
Now, I'm not the most educated person. The last time I attended school, we were learning to multiply fractions and we still had a Field Day. So, I'm not familiar with any of the equipment besides what I learned from movies, and some of the words the doctor is saying don't make any sense to me, but the important part is that I'm here for Reyna, for our baby. And the second I see a little bean on the monitor, I'm obsessed. I can't honest really tell what it is. It could be a baby, or a hydra, or even leftover lunch, but it's beautiful to me. It gives me a weird rush that I don't fully understand.
Reyna is smiling at the image, and when she looks at me I can tell she wants to ask me: why does your face look so dumb?
Instead, she just says softly, "Our little jellybean."
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Her and jellybeans, honestly. I hope she doesn't expect to name our little hydra that.
"I can't wait to show the others," I comment. "We get pictures of the x-rays, right?"
"Ultrasound," Reyna corrects. "Yes, we do."
The ultrasound technician leaves the room, granting us some well-deserved privacy as we study our ambiguous creation.
"See any scales?" I ask. "Fangs? Multiple heads?"
"Not of that nature."
Wow, Reyna, great dick joke. Some of Leo’s humor has rubbed off on you. How revolting.
I chuckle at her joke anyway. "You think it's a boy?"
"I feel like he is."
“Maybe this was a mistake.”
Reyna punches me in the arm and I choke on what she would call my “cruel, Disney villain laugh.”
"I thought you were over the boy hate.”
"Oh, honey,” I prattle sarcastically. “You can take the girl out of the Hunt, but you can't take the Hunter out of the girl."
As expected, she ignores my lapse of stupidity.
I manage not to fidget under the stares. Reyna is not as fortunate. She looks like a ball of frenetic energy, shaking like a leaf despite the leather jacket I draped over her shoulders. Tonight is the night we are telling the others, and most of them are looking at us like we’re about to tell them that Kronos sent us a Hallmarks card for the Winter Solstice.
”What is it?” Percy asks, and his brow furrows like it does every time he worries.
”It’s—it’s nothing bad,” Reyna begins, choking on whatever else she plans to say.
I decide to take matters into my own hands, like I always impulsively do.
I clear my throat and suddenly everyone’s eyes leave Reyna. My hands burrow into my pockets and I pull my dark jeans a little further from my body.
I don’t miss the way Annabeth’s eyes gleam in the beginning stages of her understanding. She’s one of the only people who know about me. Percy found out by accident, because he doesn’t know how to knock. Nico knows, but it’s only because he confided in my brother first.
Jason, well, Jason knows. I’m thankful for him. It was bad enough losing my brother once, but if I lost him because he couldn’t accept me, I don’t know what I’d do.
Jason, with his patient, kind smile, looks over at us and gives me a confident nod, like he thought he could somehow transfer his bravery to me with a twitch of his head.
“We have news,” I started. Annabeth looked impatient. “Uh, Reyna—”
”I’m carrying a baby,” my girlfriend spat. She gripped my bicep as if to steady herself. “Our baby.”
”Or hydra,” I nervously remind with a smile. “We’re considering all of our options.”
Naturally, Percy is the first one to speak.
”Wow,” he remarks. “You are Zeus' kid."
As I consider how many different ways I can murder him with my bare hands, I temporarily settle for flipping him off. My eyes are trained on two people, mostly—Jason and Annabeth.
Jason looks like he’s about to cry and Annabeth’s expression is unintelligible. I’m not sure which would be easier to handle right now, but I decide on Jason.
”Are you sure?” he asks softly, staring at Reyna’s belly like it’s eight times larger than it is.
I nod. “We went to the doctor and everything. There’s a living, breathing, little jellybean in there.”
What? The nickname rubbed off on me.
”Do you—can I see—?”
I carefully pluck the photos out of Reyna’s bag, taking notice of the fact that Nico di Angelo was currently reassuring her with soft words, gripping her shoulders gently and making her smile. He was a sweet kid, just like Bianca was.
I hand the ultrasound photos to Jason, and sure enough the water works are coming.
”Oh, my gods,” he praises. The tears haven’t fallen, but his eyes are glistening. He should be in wild disbelief right now, but he looks the happiest I’ve ever seen him. “My little jellybean.”
Percy coos at the images, trying his best to find the baby’s face.
”It’s too early to see that,” Annabeth chastises him, and I am suddenly all too aware of her stare.
I sit carefully next to her, almost like I’m expecting to get grounded, but she just hugs me to her and rests her head on my chest.
”Everything is going to be okay,” she assures in a murmur. “Anyone in your position would be scared.”
”Shitless.”
Annabeth nudges me, tightening her hold as I collapse into the supportive embrace.
“You should consider auditioning for Teen Mom.”
I can’t help but laugh at the icebreaker. We never could discuss anything seriously emotional for long. “For some reason, I don't think they'll cast me."
“Just...Thalia?”
”What?”
I should suspect her hesitant words, but they still sting like lemon juice in a stab wound.
”Don’t run from this,” she murmurs, almost like she was sparing me with her low volume. “Be there for Reyna. She’s just as scared as you.”
My cheeks are alive with anger. I try to remind myself that this is Annabeth, Daughter of Athena, professional know-it-all, wisest girl I’ve met, my longtime best friend, just tellin’ it like it is.
”I’m not—I would never—”
Would I?
”I would never leave her,” my voice nearly tremors, but I force out the rest and of my statement with a deeper inflection. “I know I don’t have the best commitment record, but this is someone I won’t walk away from.”
Can’t, even if I try.
She’s right to question me. I hate that I’ve always resorted to running.
I abandoned my mother long ago. I left Luke and Annabeth behind when I welcomed by timely, sacrificial death. I left camp when I didn’t want to become the hero of the prophecy. I left the Hunters of Artemis when I fell in love with Reyna.
But Reyna meant more to me than all of those things. I’ll face my mother again a thousand times, I’ll defend myself against a hoarde of monsters, I’ll stay wherever she wants me to. Wherever she goes, I will follow. Our relationship, this connection we have, I wouldn’t lose it for anything. Even though our future is surely spiraling into something crazy and unexpected, I know we’re going to fight together, every step of the way.
I tell Annabeth as much, and her smile is both sympathetic and proud. Sympathetic because I’m sure she’s found the same sense of security and trust in Percy. And proud, because, well...
She’s proud because I’m not taking the easy way out. Because I’m nothing like my father, or her father. She knows I’m going to love Jellybean like it’s what I was born to do.
Or am I just realizing that for myself?
Reyna’s hand slides over mine, and I realize I didn’t notice her approach and sit next to me. She smiles softly, almost bashfully, which is certainly a foreign expression on her face.
”I’ll leave you two,” Annabeth offers kindly, reaching out to hug Reyna. “Congratulations, you guys. If you need anything, just let us know, okay?”
"Uncle Percy to the rescue!” the son of Poseidon bellows, bracing his hands on his waist and puffing out his chest dramatically.
Jason protests, shoving Percy playfully. “Please. Call Uncle Jason first, would you? We don’t want any dolphin related incidents.”
I smirk. “Will do, baby bro.”
I narrowly avoid the flying fist, ducking out of the way just in time for Reyna to step in front of me.
"Hylla, stop!" she orders, and her enraged older sister actually falters. "This isn't Thalia's fault. This is on both of us."
"Mostly me," I admit, and Hylla glares literal daggers over Reyna's shoulder. "But we used protection. This is probably a stunt from the gods."
Jeez. You'd think she'd be thrilled to have a little niece or nephew. Besides, it's not like she's the next Madame Theresa. The Hunt traveled with her for a good while, so I knew that firsthand.
"Even if it is a cruel trick of Hera's, Thalia's the one who put her hands on you," Hylla spits, pointing at me and snarling in disgust like I'm a gruesome monster. "No one disrespects my little sister."
"Hylla," she warns quietly. I barely hear her next words, but they make me choke on air when I do. "I wanted to be disrespected, believe me."
I'm not fast enough this time to avoid her lunge. Getting punched for Reyna's wisecrack. Typical.
Hylla is straddling my face, striking blow after angry blow, before I get fed up and decide to put her in her place. I know she sees the sparks dancing in my eyes, and my pupils swallowing the white, but she doesn't take it for the warning it is. I give her the shock of a lifetime, and she flies a good thirty feet from me.
Reyna hurries over to her to feel her pulse, sighing in relief when her sister raises her head, black strands of hair sticking straight up. She looks like a troll doll, if they were less ugly and had soot all over their cheeks.
"Grace," Hylla growls.
C'mon, I didn't beat up Piper for dating Jason. Why did everything have to be so serious with Hylla? I guess impregnating someone's sibling is a bit different from dating them, but I was her friend. Besides, Reyna is a grown woman. She can do whatever with whoever, as long as their name is Thalia Grace.
"Stop it," Reyna commands angrily. "Both of you. Hylla, you already beat my girlfriend into a pulp. Thalia, you nearly killed my sister." She turned her irritated gaze to her sister. "Now, can you just shut up and be happy for us now?"
Hylla's scowl vanishes almost instantly at her sister's words, and she has the nerve to look ashamed. "You want to have this baby with her?"
"Yes," Reyna emphasizes, obviously beyond annoyed if her exasperated eyeroll was anything to go by. "We're dating, Hylla. If you would have just given me a chance to say that, my girl wouldn't be bleeding from every inch of her face."
Whatever. I look better like this anyway.
Hylla sends me an apologetic smile, but I roll my eyes. I get to my feet before her, offering her my hand to pull her up. She accepts it gratefully, clapping me on the shoulder when she's upright again.
"Sorry about that, Grace," she says, and I just barely manage to hide my grimace at the sound of my last name. "Reyna means a lot to me. All we've ever really had is each other."
"I know," I said, stopping her before this conversation gets emotional. "S' cool. I get it. Sorry for making you look like an overgrown troll doll."
"Thalia."
I can barely keep my eyes open, blinking them rapidly as I try to maintain my balance. I'm holding Reyna's hair back as she loses her late dinner to the toilet. I'm only half-awake, but my heart is aching for her. She's been sick every day this week, and I can't wait for it to be over. She usually gets sickest in the middle of the night, despite the fact that the doctor warned us about morning sickness.
"Thank you, baby," she murmurs when she's done, and I gently wipe her mouth with a damp washcloth. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for," I answer her sleepily.
When she craves food, or her breasts ache, or she wakes me up with her nausea, she has a habit of feeling guilty and weak. Really, it makes her the strongest person in the world. It also makes me wish that I was able to carry the child for her. It isn't fair. Hera hates my guts, so my girlfriend has to suffer for it?
"Stop thinking so hard," Reyna begs quietly. "You're giving me a headache."
"Sorry," I apologize easily. "Come on. Let's go back to bed."
She seems reluctant to leave the comfort of the toilet, but I manage to get her tucked back into our warm sheets. Reyna rests her head on my bare chest with a soft exhale, snuggling in tighter and throwing her leg over mine. She's only four months along, so her belly doesn't get in the way of cuddling quite yet.
"We find out the baby's gender tomorrow," Reyna murmurs, and my eyes fly open.
I had almost fallen asleep.
"Yeah," I agree huskily. I turn my face to blink at the alarm clock. "Well, it's 3:15. Technically, we find out today."
She swats my upper chest, and I wince playfully. "Smartass. What do you think it is?"
"Our baby," I retort softly. "Little Baby Grace."
We had already told everyone not to buy anything gender specific—we weren't going to be the parents that forced their child into a box that they just ended up breaking out of. We told them regardless of the gender, they could buy any color, any clothes, or any toys.
Reyna reaches for my sword-calloused hand, placing it over her swollen stomach and covering it with her own. "I think it's a boy."
"A boy," I repeat.
I'm in awe at the thought. Sure, I spent most of my life hating boys, but I missed when Jason was little. When he hadn't been a nightmare, he'd been the cutest kid ever.
I missed Jason in general. Last time I had heard from him, he was attending any all-boys school in Los Angeles. I made myself a mental reminder to call and check in on him.
"Looks like you're having boys."
Reyna is already holding out a hand expectantly for the twenty dollars I bet against her, but the nurse's words stop me cold.
"Boys?" I repeat, after I manage to scoop my jaw off the floor. "As in plural?" My head spins until my eyes lock with Reyna's, blown wide in astonishment. "Did you know about this?"
"No, I didn't know about this!" she spits. "There must be a mistake."
"I'm afraid not, Praetor," the nurse says it like she doesn't genuinely mean it. She seems a bit perturbed, if I'm honest. She's lucky I'm too preoccupied being surprised to punch her in the face. "See? You can see two distinct formations, and this is the genatalia right here."
I feel like fainting. There was no second formation the last time we went to an ultrasound appointment. Babies don't just stem out of nowhere. Hera or Juno must have something to do with this. It just doesn't make any sense. Is one of them a human baby and the other a hydra?
I'm well on my way to hyperventilating when I get the worst phone call of my life.
It's been seven months since we created life, and three months since I received the news of my brother's death. I still drink myself into a coma most nights, but I distract myself during the day with caring for Reyna and our unborn twins. I can tell Reyna is getting tired of my pathetic act, but we continue to be there for each other while we take turns hurling into the porcelain throne.
I'm coping the only way that I was taught to, but I want to get my shit together. For Reyna. For our sons. If it wasn't for them, I know I'd be lost. There's no telling what I would do. In the first few moments of hearing the news, I felt empty. Then, I felt regret. Regret spiraled into rage. And now I'm left with ignoring my problems altogether and focusing on anything but his death. What's that called again? Oh, yeah. Denial.
I finish the last brush strokes, watching as the slate gray almost immediately darkens on the wall. The nursery is almost completely finished, thanks to my beloved denial. The room has all the necessary furniture—the forest green crib that Leo built for the boys, a vintage, brown leather reading chair that Reyna insisted on, a white bookshelf with a chest built into the bottom to hold toys, and a tacky rug with little lightning clouds scattered all over it. I just have to wait for the paint to dry before I go about placing the jungle decals on the walls.
My eyes frantically search the room for more improvements that can be made, or more work for me to distract myself with, and I'm so focused that I don't hear Reyna waddle up behind me. Her arms wrap around my waist and I jump, sparks leaping from my skin, and I immediately spin around.
"Did I hurt you?" I ask hoarsely. "I'm sorry, I was just—I was just thinking."
"You could never hurt me," Reyna answers without missing a beat, and I wish more than anything that she's telling the truth. "I could hear you thinking from the living room."
I blow a strand of dark hair out of my face, placing my hands on my hips and ignoring her comment. "What do you think?"
She hugs me again, resting her cheek against my chest. "You did a great job, Thalia. It's perfect."
I was worried she was going to say that. Maybe I'll get drunk tonight and tear it all down while she's sleeping.
"Mi cielo," she whispers, and I can't help but meet her beautiful eyes, as dark and rich as fresh ink. "I'm here for you. No estás solo."
Even after over a year of dating her, I still don't understand nearly enough Spanish, but her words soothe me. It's almost like I know what she means to say.
"Hey," she says. "Do not suffer in silence."
I feel the urge to look away from her, but I don't. Even when the tears start prickling in my eyes, I don't look away. "I have you and the babies to think about."
I'm not selfish. I'm not Beryl.
"And we have you to think about," she says softly, playing with the untamed locks just above my ear. "We're a family now. We have each other."
I close my eyes from the sensation. Even though her touch warms me, I still feel the salty tears pool at my chin. "Reyna, I—I don't know how."
—to rely on anyone else, to burden others with my emotional shit, to face it head-on.
I wish I didn't say anything. I'm not selfish. She's hurting just as much, if not more, than I am. The last thing she needs is my grief. I'm not selfish, I'm not selfish, I'm not—
"This isn't what he would want," she informs me. "He wouldn't want you to hold everything in."
He would want to be alive. He would want to see his nephews. He would want to grow old alongside his friends.
"He would want to see us live our lives, Thalia."
Like everytime it does when Reyna says my name, my body shivers. I fall into Reyna's hug, carefully arching my body to avoid squashing her stomach.
She's right, and I know she's right, but I don't want her to be. I got so good at convincing myself that the way I was coping was fine—that it was best for my children and my girlfriend—but I'm a piece of shit.
"I'm sorry," I murmur, and I hate that my voice almost cracks with the effort. "I'm really no good at this."
"You're not," Reyna admits, but she has a soft, understanding smile on her face that I know no one but me has ever seen. "But I love you, and we're going to get through this. Together."
"Together," I agree, leaning forward and claiming her lips in a slow kiss. Even though it's only been an hour since I last kissed her, it feels like it's been an eternity. When we pull away, my tears are mostly dried, but I feel like any moment the dam might break again. "I...I think we should go to bed."
Reyna's eyes are slightly guarded, but she nods in agreement. "Do you...do you want me to fix you a drink?"
"No," I answer immediately, and internally wince when her eyes let down their walls. Had I really been that terrible? "Just...just hold me."
Reyna leans up to press a soft kiss on my forehead. "Always."
I pace the length of the waiting room, ignoring Annabeth's calm suggestions for me to sit the fuck down. My old combat boots thud loudly on the floor, causing many of the room’s occupants to glare at me, but I don't care. They can all get fucked.
Percy tugged on the sleeve of my leather jacket. “Thalia, sit down. You’re causing the lights to flicker.”
"Sit down?" I echo, putting a temporary stop to my pacing just to send him a dirty look. "Why aren't they letting me back there?"
"Thalia, you fainted," Annabeth reminds me, and I almost hate her for it.
I only fainted because of Reyna's deadly grip. I'm a demigod, so it's not like I can't handle a little pain and inconvenience. The nurses overreacted, or maybe they're discriminating because I'm Greek. Either way, someone's getting a foot up their ass if I'm not back at Reyna's side in the next ten minutes.
"We're back," Will announces as he leads Nico back into the waiting room, their hands filled with snacks and bags from the hospital gift shop. "Who wants a slim jim and who wants chips?"
Annabeth immediately starts eating the jalapeno chips, and Percy grumbles jealously as he gnaws at his slim jim. I refuse the honey bun I'm offered, and Will smiles in understanding, passing it over to his boyfriend. I can't possibly eat right now. I will only throw up every single carb. I can't sit still, even when Annabeth physically forces me into a chair. My boot is bouncing off the floor again and again, my fingers drumming a completely different beat on the worn armrests.
Nico surprises me by sitting next to me. We weren't exactly close, but he is Reyna's best friend. If anyone stands a chance at knowing her more than I do, it's him. If he wasn't so outrageously gay, I might even feel jealous about it. Still, he's a good kid.
I'm not.
I can't stand it anymore, so I lunge out of my chair when Annabeth isn't paying attention. I make it all the way to the doors and easily overload the card reader, disabling the technology they use to keep maniacs like me out. I duck into the hallway, ignoring Annabeth's fussing and Percy's startled laughter. I navigate to the room with only a small amount of difficulty, and I peer in through the rectangular window. Reyna's face is contorted in pain, and she's redder than I thought possible. I throw the door open, easily brushing past the nurses that scramble to stop me.
"We need you to leave," the doctor said with a fake sense of urgency.
I need to be with Reyna.
"No," Reyna spits, and she's probably not going to have a voice to use at this rate. "Thalia stays."
"Praetor, it's best if—"
"Thalia stays," Reyna seethes, and I know he sees the full power of Bellona in her flaming irises, because he all but gulps in fear. "Or I let her throw your sorry ass from the fourth floor."
I release an anxious breath as the doctor grumbles, but I don't have time to make good on Reyna's threat right now. I'm beside Reyna in a heartbeat, and I take her hand again, silently praying to Artemis that she doesn't break mine. Almost immediately, she seems more relieved, even though I know the pain has only worsened.
"If you ever think of leaving me again, I'll kill you where you stand," she mutters.
I stop myself from telling her that she originally agreed to have me removed from the room, as she was concerned with my health and ability to handle the situation.
"I love you," I remind her softly, pressing a firm kiss to her sweaty forehead. I turn my eyes to the doctor. "How dilated is she?"
"8 centimeters," he answers me almost politely, surprising me. "She's moving along fast. When she's 10 centimeters, we'll start having her push."
Leave it to Reyna to do everything efficiently, even give birth.
Her contractions are so close together, I probably have a second to flex my sore fingers before she starts choking my hand again.
"You're amazing," I tell her, unable to look away from her eyes, even though they're brimming over with frustration. "You got this. Just two more centimeters."
"What do you know about two centimeters?" she questions snarkily, but it's honestly a compliment. I wonder if she even knows what she's saying right now, or if her mind is too fogged from the pain. "Gods, this is all your fault."
I try not to take it too personally. If we really want to place the blame, it would be on how stunning Reyna's legs look in a battleskirt.
“I know,” I agree immediately, tucking a sweaty strand of dark hair out of her face. “You're totally right. If I had just kept it in my pants."
Reyna cracks a smile through her pain, squeezing my hand even harder to get me to shut up.
"Alright, Praetor Reyna," the doctor speaks up. He rolls his chair closer. "Looks like you're...exactly ten centimeters. Are you ready to push for me?"
Reyna's eyes fly to me immediately, and a strange warmth spreads through my chest. I squeeze her hand to encourage her, and the smile she sends me is breathtaking.
She turns back to the doctor, and I wrap my free hand around our clasped fingers. "We're ready."
"Well, they don't look like hydras," I murmur as I cradle one of my newborn sons. His eyes are a rich cognac, just like his mother's, but he has a tuft of blond hair on his head, betraying my own recessive genes. I'm instantly in love with both of them, but my heart throbs painfully as I see his dimples, so much like Jason's, glaring back at me.
"Wait until they cry," Reyna disagrees with me. She's holding our other son, almost a spitting image of me with his dark hair and paralyzing blue eyes, to her breast. "Gods, looking at them now, I can't even remember the names we agreed on."
I reply easily, "Achilles and Alexis."
Reyna hesitates, drawing her bottom lip behind her teeth for a moment as she thinks, and I can already see that she is no longer happy with the names.
"We can think of something else, I'm sure," I say shakily. It's ridiculous, how it's almost making me panic. "I can pull out my phone right now. We can even try Roman names, if you want."'
No matter how much they suck.
"No," she says softly. "I just...I know we agreed on unisex names, but I want to name one of them after Jason."
My heart is doing that thing again and, if I wasn't supporting a tiny beautiful creature, I might have collapsed from the ache. I don't notice the tears until I taste them on my own lips.
"This one," I whisper, staring at that toothless, dimpled grin. "He's Jason."
Reyna smiles in silent agreement, running her thumb gently over our unnamed son's cheek. "This one put up a fight. Achilles."
I can't help but laugh at that. "Achilles Ramirez-Grace. What a mouthful."
"I love them so much," Reyna says, and I know it must be the hormones or her exhaustion rattling her, because I swear I see tears pooling in her eyes that match my own. "We did it."
"Yeah," I breathe. "You did it. You're incredible."
"They're going to take the babies soon," she reminds quietly. "Don't let them."
"They have to, love," I say with an amused smile. "It's gonna be okay. You need your rest."
"I know, I just never want to put them down," she whispers. "Gods, they're so beautiful."
She's right. They almost look like old men, but they're supernaturally beautiful, which makes sense because they came from Reyna.
Mere seconds after the babies are taken, Reyna falls into a restful sleep. I stay for a while, just listening to her steady breathing, wiping her face clean and tucking her in. I entered the waiting room, greeting the others with warm hugs and excited smiles.
"How is she?" Annabeth asks me. "Will says recovery time should be around two weeks, but they should give you plenty of pain medication for her."
I roll my eyes at her concern, but hug her tightly. "She's tough. She'll be fine, she's just resting for now."
Percy is nearly dancing, so I grace him with my attention. "Can we meet them now?"
"C'mon," I say, and they all file in excitedly behind me like I'm their teacher taking them on a field trip. Even Nico is smiling.
"I bet I can tell which babies they are," Percy says confidently.
When we stop in front of the windows, peering in at the twenty-something infants, he guesses completely wrong, but Nico points them out easily.
"What are their names?" Nico asks, his eyes resting mostly on Jason. It's almost like he sees the same thing I do when I look at him. "They're...wonderful."
It is a strange, funny choice of words, but he looks like he's in awe so I don't laugh at his expense.
"You're looking at Jason Carlos," I introduce. I manage to ignore their sympathetic, understanding looks. "His brother is Achilles Santana."
"They sound like rockstars," Percy comments, and I hate that he realizes it. "Are they named after Carlos Santana? Is this your doing?"
"Their culture is important," I brush him off. "Besides, Reyna wasn't okay with Billie and Joe."
It's a lie, but it makes him laugh.
"Can we see Reyna?" Nico asks, and his voice is so quiet that I hardly hear him over Percy's laughter.
I turn to face the son of Hades, and I see that Will grabs his hand supportively. Is he afraid of me? I knew Nico probably wasn't, but Will was acting like I was going to explode in a murderous rage.
"Of course," I say. "It will make Reyna very happy to see you."
Nico smiles shyly, but I give him the room number and watch as he pulls his boyfriend down the hall. I'm glad Will is joining him. He will be able to tell if the nurses aren't treating my girl right. We may be allied, but I still don't trust the Romans nearly as far as I can throw them.
Annabeth latches herself onto Percy's arm, but I see such a raw display of emotions on her face that it's easy to tell what she's thinking. That almost never happens. Her guard is all the way down as she peers at my children's slumbering faces. Percy is smiling softly down at her, and it's so cute and endearing that I almost lose the cheeseburger I ate for lunch.
"Don't even think about it," I threaten half-heartedly. "You get baby fever, you can just babysit."
A blush rises on Percy's cheeks, but he's still smiling. "I...uh, I think we're gonna go grab some food. We'll pick something up for you and Reyna."
"Sure, sure," I dismiss with a smirk that makes his blush even worse. It's too easy. "Thanks for being here."
I say it as casually as I can, but I know that Annabeth gets how much I mean it.
Percy clasps my shoulder on their way out. "Another five cheeseburgers, right?"
"Duh."
I wake up for the fortieth time to the sound of crying. It's only the first night out of the hospital, and I'm already thinking of pawning my kids off to Percy and Annabeth. I slide out of bed before Reyna can, kissing her softly on the lips and shushing her protests.
I get both bottles ready quickly, despite the fact that I'm so exhausted my eyes won't stay open. I feed the loudest baby first—the one who started the screaming, no doubt—which is Achilles. He's fussy, but the second the formula beads on his tiny mouth, he latches onto it, pulling from it greedily. Jason is silent as his brother eats, cooing in his crib and clenching his little fists.
Achilles latches onto my finger while I feed him, just barely gripping it, and I smile when I feel a few excited shocks from him. I send him a few back, and he pauses in his feeding to make a strange, pleased little noise.
"You used to do the same thing when you were little," a deep yet nonthreatening voice startles me. I recognize it, and that's the only reason I don't accidentally electrocute my own kid.
My father steps out of the shadows of the room, cautiously approaching the crib to look down at Jason. I haven't seen him since I quit the Hunters, but I can't say I'm relieved to see him. Every time I'm in the same room as him, we seem to discuss the topic of my doom. It's a bit of a downer, if I'm honest.
My murmur is too quiet to rile the babies up, but my tone is assertive enough to make Zeus raise an eyebrow. "Tell your wife she's gonna have to try harder next time she means to curse us."
Zeus takes Jason into his arms gently, and before I can offer him the extra bottle I have ready, he materializes one in his hands. Jason latches on readily, smiling up at his grandfather. "I am sorry that I could not save him from his fate."
I don't ask who he's referring to. I've already ran it over in my brain a million times. Why hadn't Zeus saved him? Zeus had turned me into a tree when I had sacrificed myself, so why couldn't he do the same to my brother?
"The best I could do..." Zeus speaks in a hushed whisper, his words nearly failing him as his grandson tugs at his beard, "is give him another chance at life."
My head flies up so I can meet his eyes. His scowl is present, but it's more morose than it usually is. "What do you mean, another chance? I thought you said you couldn't save him."
"I did not save him," Zeus affirms. "Upon their death, every hero makes a choice. I merely pushed him in the right direction."
Suddenly, the pregnancy made sense. The first child had no doubt been a gift from my misled father, but the second baby—the formation that had randomly been there at the ultrasound, following Jason's untimely death—was my reborn brother.
"Why?"
Zeus turns away from my harsh, wet-eyed stare, placing a now sleeping Jason back into the crib. "I cannot break ancient law, but I have always done what I could."
You've done it before, when you created me.
I bite back my reply, too stunned to actually form words, whether they're scalding or thankful.
When I finally formulate my thoughts, he's preparing to make his dramatic exit. My soft call of his name is the only thing that makes him falter. He looks back over his shoulder, electric blue eyes gleaming, and he looks so human I almost forget what I want to say to him.
"...Thanks."
Zeus smiles grimly. "Take care of them."
"Always," I promise, and I watch as he dissolves into fragmented light.
I place Achilles down into the crib, next to his sleeping brother. His pretty blue eyes grow heavy as he starts to drift off. I kiss them tenderly on their foreheads, staying to watch them slumber and studying every inch of their little faces.
I'm still smiling when I return to our bedroom, and seeing Reyna in the light of the bedside lamp only makes my grin wider.
"You should be asleep," I lecture playfully as I crawl over her.
She stops me from settling in on my side of the bed, pulling me down on top of her and holding me still. "Did I hear you talking to someone?"
"Zeus just decided to congratulate us," I say, claiming her lips in a dizzying kiss.
Reyna loses her fingers in my hair, tugging so hard I have to stop myself from arching into her.
I groan when she eventually pulls away, our liplock coming to an end with a flurry of softer kisses.
"Easy," she laughs, pressing a hand to the center of my chest. "We just had two, we don't need a third."
"This is going to be the longest four weeks of my life."
Reyna smirks, leaning up to playfully nibble my lip. "The doctor didn't say anything about..."
In all of my life, Reyna is the only person who has ever made me blush. "Are you sure?" I ask, unable to help my own eagerness. "We don't have to—"
"Shut up," Reyna retorts, pressing heated kisses to my exposed neck.
As my back hits the mattress and Reyna settles on top of me, I find that the only thought still lingering in my head is how beautiful she looks in the dim lighting, and how lucky I am to have a family this wonderful—a family that Reyna has given me, a family that we have built together. Before I can have any more thoughts, Reyna's lips seal over mine and I lose myself to the feeling.