Archive of Our Own

Theseus was lying on his bed with his eyes towards the ceiling without looking at anything particularly. With one hand resting on his stomach and the other behind his head.

It was his last day in what in other times could have been called "vacations"; Travers had practically forced him to take a couple of weeks off after the Paris events, which happened about a month ago.

After they went to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore they all went back to London.
With the help of his brother and his friends, Theseus organized a small funeral for Leta. He cried, of course he did, only he didn’t let anyone notice.

The day after the funeral, Theseus went to work as if nothing. This surprised one or another Ministry employee including Travers himself who told him very subtly "But what the hell are you doing here?"
Theseus argued that it was necessary to make a report of what happened, he had millions of pending and that he should plan the training for new Aurors since they had lost almost half of them in the Mausoleum.
This did not matter to Travers. He suggested, rather ordered, take a couple of weeks off to assimilate what had happened. Theseus tried to argue but Travers shut him up and sent him home to live his duel.

So that's what he did. He returned to his brother Newt's apartment, where he had been staying since they returned. But he did not want to be a burden for him because he also had other guests: the auror and the muggle americans (Tina Goldstein and Jacob Kowalski, yes, that's what Newt said) and a Maledictus girl (Nagini he said?); so he left with his mother, who received him more than with open arms.

He spent his days of rest taking long walks in the countryside surrounding his mother's house; arranging the garden and spending time (to the great surprise of Newt and Mrs. Scamander) with the hippogriffs.

Newt and his mother at first let Theseus live his duel in his own way, and talk about it when he was ready. But now they were worried because Theseus did not want to show a trace of his pain, he did not cry, he did not have the time to do it. Neither mentioned Leta or anything that had happened in Paris and when one of the two tried to subtly raise the subject so he would open a little, he would leave the place slowly or if he had no choice, he would stay but change the subject. They concluded that Theseus kept busy because he did not want to feel pain, the pain was waiting to attack him at any moment. The memory of Leta Lestrange annihilated him inside. So he decided to keep his mind occupied to protect himself from them.

Now he had spent the weeks of rest. Tomorrow he would face the real world again. And Newt and Mrs. Scamander, as always, were worried.

-They were not enough. He Needs more time, he is still in denial. - Mrs. Scamander said very worried to her youngest son

-I know, but he does not ... He does not open ... I tried to make him talk but I do not get anything. When I come, he asks me to accompany him to the Hippogriff stables and explain things about them or he wants to play chess. It’s very difficult. -

-You're right, it's the same when he’s with me. He entertains himself with other things and acts as if everything is fine. For example, he has been painting the house by hand since he arrived. -

-Well, that helps in the chores is nothing wrong - said Newt- Merlin knows that it lacks a coat of paint to this house- he finished with a whisper that in vain tried to hide his mother.

-My point is ...! - said Mrs. Scamander looking sternly at her son - that he does it all over again -

-What do you mean? -

-He paint the house by hand for 4 hours in a row, but when I called him for dinner he undoes part of his work with magic to do it again the next day. He believes that I have not noticed -

Newt rubbed his eyes in despair. He did not know how to help his brother. He was never good with people, much less with feelings and definitely did not know what to do when now involved his brother and his feelings.

-Oh! What can we do, Newt? It hurts me to see that he is being consumed inside - said worried Mrs. Scamander sitting next to Newt

-I'll be fine, calm- said Theseus, who had heard half a conversation hidden on the stairs

Newt and his mother looked at him surprised.

-Theseus, honey. What's going on? Are you hungry? Dinner is almost ready - said Mrs. Scamander uncomfortable

-Of course, it's okay - Theseus said approaching them

His mother nodded and went to check the dinner.
Theseus sat next to Newt.

-Theseus ... -

-You don’t have to worry about me, really - interrupted the older Scamander

-Of course we have to do Theseus, we are your family. That's what families do - said Newt with a frown

Theseus chuckled

-Sure, you are right. It's just ... I'm fine. Really. -

Newt and his mother looked at each other.

-I know you don’t believe it. I admit it, it has been difficult. But I'll be fine, ok? Tomorrow I will go back to work and continue with my life. Because that's what it does, is not it? Life goes on. -

-Alright- said Newt. What else could he say? The man was very foolish

-Go to wash, the soup is ready I'll be serving - said Mrs. Scamander

Both brothers did what their mother ordered them and then all together they sat down to dinner. For a moment it was like in their childhood: Theseus, Newt and their mother gathered for dinner. They chatted, laughed and ate. That was life.

The next morning, Theseus put on his suit and went to the Ministry.

He left the elevator to the Auror department. He greeted some colleagues as he headed to his office.
It bothered him to notice that many people looked at him with pity. As if he were a small hurt child. Many tried to hide their eyes and went out of his way.

-Theseus! - He heard the voice of Travers - Come here! -

Theseus walked towards him and both entered his office.

-Sit down- said Travers, pointing to the chair in front of his desk, - and tell me, how were these weeks of rest? -

-Wonderful, sir- replied Theseus. He felt like a little boy in his teacher's office

-I see- said Travers, sitting in front of him. - I hope you've rested enough because we have a lot of work to do- he was trying to create a normal atmosphere between them. Attempted to prepare Theseus before giving him some information.

-Of course, sir - was the Auror's only answer

-Well, I need you to supervise the training for the new Aurors and put together a training plan. Do the job interviews. Make sure that those who wish to obtain the position are capable and that none have crazy ideas about the supremacy of the wizards, according ?. God knows we can not afford to have more traitors here. Do it as quickly as possible, do you understand? We need the greatest possible staff-

- Sure, I'll do it immediately, sir -

His short and unobjectionable responses scared Travers a bit. Theseus was not someone who agreed with everything he said. Merlin, the boy really must be very bad.

-All right…. Theseus, a month has passed since Paris ... -

Theseus looked down. He had no escape from this.
-and I tried to respect your mourning as long as possible. I used your assistant all this time while you took a few weeks off. But now you're back and I need one of my own. Do you know what I mean?

Theseus swallowed.

-Yes, it seems to me that-

-I decided to schedule interviews this week to find one. You have a problem with that? -

-No, not at all, sir. You are in all the right to do it -

-All right - agreed Travers - Well, having already talked about this you can go-

Theseus got up quickly, heading for the door. When his hand touched the doorknob he was forced to stop.

-Ah! Theseus! I asked Margaret to pick up Leta's things from her desk. I think she leaves them in your office. It's okay? -

Theseus turned around and tried to look calm

-Yeah sure. Thank you-

And he left the office quickly. When he closed the door his eyes lifted, only to find a heartbreaking image:
The desk of Travers' assistant (which previously belonged to her) was completely empty. Now it just looked like a simple piece of furniture dusty, no longer had the brightness that she had given to that dark place. And for the first time he did not feel that desperation to take a look at the desk every moment. On the contrary, looking at it caused him torment.

He went quickly to his office.

-Mr. Scamander! Welcome - said Margaret, her assistant, as soon as she saw him arrive

-Hello, Margaret. Thank you!. Emmh ... I need you to bring me the job applications for auror and ... -

-Here they are sir- handed him a handful of papers

-Oh! Okay, thank you Margaret ... ammh .. I will be in my office, please do not bother me unless it is necessary and please organize my paperwork -

-Yes, sir - said the woman going to work

Theseus entered his office. He had to admit that he had missed her. He looked around the place until his eyes fell on a box on his desk.

He knew what it was.

He looked at her with pain and made a huge effort of will addressed it.
He put the papers on the side of the box and looked inside. He had to be strong. Face reality.

When he saw what was inside, his heart ached. He swallowed. He put a hand inside the box and took out a pen, it was a very beautiful and very soft feather. It was her pen. He had bought it when the two together went to Hogsmeade 5 months earlier. It seemed like an eternity had passed.
He left the pen on top of the papers.
He took out two full ink bottles and one half. He was sure that she never thought she would not finish them.

He needed to stop, he was hurting himself.

-Don’t! You have to be strong! Take those stupid thoughts out of your head Theseus! - Rebuked himself.

He continued to check the things in the box. He found 6 clean scrolls and a half-written one. She had a very nice handwriting. A bottle of perfume (which he did not dare to smell), a lip ointment (green apple flavor, oh yes, he remembered the taste perfectly) a small vase with a withered flower (He had given her that flower, damn it) .

Theseus continued to take out her things, trying not to pay attention to all (for his own good) until he reached the bottom of the box and found a frame with a photograph: it was them both. Theseus and ... Leta. Theseus and Leta. It was their commitment photograph. They looked very happy. They looked smiling at the camera and then looked at each other.
He had offered her his arm and she had taken it, so he could wear his bright and beautiful engagement ring.
Theseus noticed that he looked happy and sure of himself. He remembered how happy he had felt when Leta had said yes and how proud he was when with that picture he showed the world his future wife.
And Leta ... God, Leta looked beautiful. He had forgotten how she looked. How her smile looked and how bright her eyes were, her hair pulled back to fit the fashion trends of the time and a beautiful dress. The photograph was black and white but that did not stop Theseus appreciating the beauty of his fiancee and he was almost completely sure that a photograph could not do her justice.
He remembered that he had the same photograph on his desk and took it with his other hand. It was the happiest day of their lives. The beginning of a long and happy life together, but everything went to hell.

Tears tried to come out of his eyes but he held them back. He took a deep breath and left the pictures along with the other things he had left on his desk.
He took one last look at the box and what he saw caused him to be unable to hold back the tears.
It was her music box. He took it in his hands. He had given it to her on her last anniversary. It was a small round box, green and with gold edges. His key was stuck to the side. Theseus spun and the music box opened, revealing a dancer and her partner dancing together with a beautiful melody. The memories came to his mind.

Someone knocks on the door of his office.

- Go on - said Theseus from his desk

Leta opened the door.

-Are you busy? - she asked from the entrance

Theseus smiled. He loved her visits.

-Not at all, enter-

Leta smiled and entered.

- To which I owe the pleasant surprise of the visit of my dazzling fiancee - Theseus said gallant going towards Leta taking it by the waist.

-Oh! nothing in particular, just happened to be here and I decided to give you a look - Leta answered smiling when Theseus took her in his arms

-Oh seriously? - He said approaching dangerously to her to kiss her lips

-mmhh- she made a sound of affirmation, biting her lower lip while he approached dangerously

They both laughed and before kissing her he took her to his desk and sat her on the edge of it.

-Happy anniversary- said Theseus, showing Leta a pretty decorated cardboard box.

-No, no, I do not have your gift now, better wait for dinner- she said as soon as she saw the gift in Theseus' hand

-I can wait for your gift, do not worry. But I can’t wait for you to see mine. Open it! - he insisted until Leta took the gift.
She looked at him trying to hide her smile uselessly.
Theseus circled his waist again with his arms.

Leta opened the cardboard box and suppressed a cry of surprise when she saw the beautiful music box inside.

-Theseus ... -

She pulled out the small box. It was round and of a brilliant emerald color with golden gold details.

-And? What do you say? You like it? - Theseus asked

-I love it-

-It has a small key ... Here it is ... You put it ... Here ... You give it a couple of turns ... And….-

The music box began to open, revealing a ballet dancer in position, dancing with her gallant partner in a soldier's outfit next to a beautiful melody that Leta recognized instantly.

-That is…. -

-Yep-

-It's our song - Leta said to the tears began to run down her cheeks as she looked with tenderness and surprise at the couple dancing.

-This is…. - Leta continued trying to become strong-- This is ... How am I supposed to compensate this ... I bought you a new sack. -

-I'm sure I will like it-

She laughed, closed the music box and pressed it against her chest

-I'll keep it forever - she said

Theseus smiled and stroked her cheek.

Leta kept her gift in the cardboard box.

Theseus could not say why he knew that this was the moment in which he should kiss her; he kissed her deeply and Leta returned him placing her hands on his chest, while Theseus continued to hold her by her waist. He broke the kiss but not getting close enough so that their noses will touch each other.

-I think I know how you can compensate me- he said seductively.

-Oh really? - Leta suppressed a giggle, trying to follow the game

-Mmhh- Theseus made a grunt of affirmation and kissed her again.
So desperately, so passionately and so sweetly that it took both of their breath away almost instantly.

He began stroking her back and legs, while she ran her hands over his chest and played with the collar of his shirt.

-Wait- Leta interrupted the kiss- We can not do this here, we are at work, someone could catch us -

-ash! - Theseus complained. He took his wand from the desk, turned to the door and performed a blocking spell. - Ready - turned to his fiancée and came to kiss her again.

She laughed.

-You are terrible, do you know that? -

-The worst -

He pressed her against him even more, taking her by the waist and kissed her again. She returned the kiss in the same way.
Seconds later, Theseus waved his wand and all the things that were on his desk floated to the other side of the room.
Still kissing her, Theseus laid Leta on the desk with him on top of her and he could feel her laughter between their kisses.

The memory broke Theseus' heart.
Not even his office was safe from her ghost.
All those forbidden moments, all those kisses, all those caresses now seemed very distant.

When did this happen?
When he stopped feeling like the luckiest man in the world to become the most miserable of all?

He wanted to cry. To cry so desolately until every drop of water on his body dries. Until he stopped feeling that damn agony and frustration that consumed his chest.

But it was not the time for that. He must be strong, the wizarding world is about to go to war and he could not afford to sit down and cry. He must be strong. For her, for himself, for his brother, for his mother and for the entire British magical community that needed their aurors well disposed to protect them.

He wiped away the tears that had unintentionally slid down his cheeks. He put Leta's things back in the box and placed it on the cabinet behind his chair. He went to work.

Work was the only thing he could do.

After a week, seeing things in Leta reminded him of their apartments. He had not dared to go there under any circumstances. He did not think he would have endured it.
Leta and he did not live together. They spent many nights in the apartment of the other and there were several of the belongings of one and the other in their respective departments. But they never officially moved together.
That was the reason why Theseus had not returned to his own apartment, he knew there were Leta things in it and he did not know if he would be strong enough.

Newt, Tina and Jacob had taken that trouble. They had gone to Theseus' apartment to look for the few things that Leta had left there in life. They were taken to Ms. Scamander's house. Theseus thanked them for the gesture, they had offered to pick up Leta's things from her apartment as well, but Theseus rejected it, it was time for him to face reality himself, besides Leta was his fiancee, she was going to be his wife, to him who was responsible for doing those things.
Newt offered to accompany him and help him,and after several objections, Theseus finally accepted.

The next day after leaving work, Theseus and Newt went to the now old Leta’s apartment. After a few minutes watching the entrance, both took the courage to enter.

As soon as they opened the door an intense aroma approached them. A sweet and fresh scent of jasmine flooded the whole house. That was her scent. How much he had missed it.

Newt looked at his brother for a sign that told him he was not ready to do this, but only observed the sad but determined look that ran down the hallway.

-Well, it's time. Let's do this- that's what the older Scamander said.

Both brothers went to the living room to check out Leta's things. Newt watched the untidy cushions and the ashes of the fireplace. Theseus took a half-finished book from the little table in front of the sofa. Pride and Prejudice. A classic. Leta liked Muggle literature. He decided to keep it.

Newt went to Leta's studio and began to store pens and boxes, ink bottles, parchments and seals on the desk in bags and boxes.
Theseus took care of her personal library, carefully selecting which books he would give to charity and those he wanted to keep.

-Would you like to keep one, Newt? - Theseus asked his brother

Yes, Newt would like to keep one. It was a small book but of considerable thickness. He did not remember the exact title but he remembered its cover and its contents.

-I do not know if she still had it, the paste is red and the title is written in gold- said Newt

-That does not help much- Theseus pointed out to the bookseller who still contained enough books in the book.

-It was a Muggle novel-

- Still without help -

Newt rolled his eyes.

-It's about two lovers of Verona-

-Lovers of Verona ... I think I know it -

-They both die at the end-

-Yes, thank you very much little brother. I have not finished yet. - Theseus complained. Newt shrugged.

Theseus looked around between the shelves.

-I think it's this- he reached out and took a red book.

“Romeo and Juliet”

-Yes, this is it! - Newt said taking the book in his hands - Thank you -

-Of course- and Theseus continued with his task

The reason why Newt wanted that book was because with it he mets Leta. Sitting on the shore of the lake under the shade of a tree. He remembered how much she liked it, when they became friends Leta read it over and over again. And one day out of curiosity, he had asked her about it. She told him it was a muggle book, she kept it hidden because her father would never let her have, much less admire something that came from the filthy and disgusting Muggles. It was about a young couple in love who could not be together because of the enmity of their families.
Sometimes she read him some paragraphs while he checked his creatures, never expressed aloud how he enjoyed those moments. That book was for him, an essential part of his childhood friendship with Leta. And he appreciated it too much.

Theseus finished with the library, choosing 6 books for himself. When they finished with the study they went to the living room and the kitchen; picking vases, crockery and cutlery. They wrapped in newspaper the portraits that she had, photographs in general of her and Theseus or of her childhood.

They also found a scrapbook and photographs. These were photographs of special moments with Theseus and some with Newt in their time at Hogwarts that he had forgotten existed. Among the clippings were news from the newspaper about things that Leta liked, in addition to the clipping of Theseus' rise as Head Auror (from an old newspaper that she had undoubtedly sought), the publication of Newt's book and the announcement of their enggagement.

They kept them together with the other things that the two brothers decided to keep from her.

When Theseus entered the apartment he was impregnated by the delicious scent of jasmine, which was Leta's perfume. He tried to inhale as much as he could but regretted minutes later because his nose was used to the smell until in less than an hour the scent was practically non-existent.

When they finished with the ground floor of the place they continued with the upper floor, where the room of Leta was located.

-I…. I think I should go there alone- Theseus said in a voice that tried to hide his pain

-Yes, sure, of course - Newt nodded - I ... I'll finish packing things down here. Call me if you need help, okay? -

-Sure, I'll be fine, don’t worry- Theseus said, struggling to make a smile, patting his little brother on the shoulder.

Newt nodded and Theseus climbed the stairs to Leta's room.

He opened the door to the room, feeling more miserable than ever. He entered the room closing the door behind him.
He scanned each corner with his eyes.
He walked through it, passed by her dressing table, sliding his fingers across the marble until they met her brush, remembered to watch her some mornings from the bed, sitting in the armchair in front of the mirror, brushing her curly brown hair gently.

He put down the brush and took a bottle of perfume. It had less than half left but the scent was still strong. He squeezed the air pump connected to the jar and let the substance come out in a splash! The smell of jasmine caught him. Drying the tears that flowed from his eyes, he left the bottle of perfume on the dresser and continued to check her closet.

He opened the two doors to leave her dresses, skirts, blouses and colorful scarves hanging in front of her.

Theseus took a purple scarf, approached the edge of the bed to sit and appreciate the garment. Leta sometimes used them on her neck.
It brought many beautiful memories to his side. He recalled that on their first dates, before becoming an official couple, they were walking through the streets of London when a strong gust of wind caused Leta's scarf to fly through the air. Theseus ran two streets to catch it. He could have used a simple: accio! , but he didn’t know why he did not. Maybe because he did not think about it at the time or maybe because deep down he wanted to impress her and earn her gratitude. In the end, it worked. When he returned with Leta and handed her scarf, he won a kiss on the cheek on her part and a sweet phrase: "my hero."

He can not stand it anymore, Theseus started crying inconsolably.
His sobs were so loud that Newt heard them from below, quickly climbed the stairs to go to Leta's room.
When he opened the door he found his brother crying and moaning so bitterly that it broke his heart. He was sitting on the bed with his arms resting on his legs and his hands covering his face. He had never seen him so broken, so vulnerable. He did not know whether to approach or leave him alone, but in the end his brother's love was more than anything and he decided to approach him by sitting next to him with one hand on his back.

-It’s Okay ... Don’t hold back ... Let it out ... I'm here ... - Newt whispered.

Before he could realize it, his brother hugged him tightly, crying over his shoulder. Newt did not reject it and let Theseus cry freely.

-Why, Newt?! Why?! - Sobbed Theseus

Newt did not respond.

-How can I live without her?! ... I can not do it ... I can not ... I loved her ... I loved her too much..! And they snatched Newt from me! They pushed her away from my side! .... -

In moments the pain turned into anger. Theseus stood up, pacing back and forth across the room.

-Why I had to love her so much?! ... WHY?! ... Why could not I love someone else?! .... -

No, it was not true. He repented of many things in his life, but he does not regret loving her.

- Why did she have to go to the mausoleum?! Why?!... I left her safe at the French Ministry…, I told her that everything would be fine but not! She had to be so stubborn and stubborn! ... We were going to get married! We were going to have a family!!! SHE DID NOT CARE ABOUT THAT?!!! She did not care what I would feel when she left?! DON’T! She only thought of her! In an easy way to escape FROM ALL HERS DAMNED PROBLEMS !!!!!

-ENOUGH THESEUS !! - Shouted Newt

Theseus observed his little brother for a moment. He had never shouted at anyone, much less at him. But he understood in an instant. He was crossing the line. He was not upset with her. Of course not. He could never be upset with her no matter how hard he tries. Then the pain returned.

Theseus sat down next to Newt.

-I should have saved her and I could not do it! It was my fault ... I could not save her ... She should not die ... She did not, Newt-

Newt listened to every word of his brother, which caused tears to begin to run down his cheeks and with a voice between cut said:

-I know ... But it was not her fault ... It was her choice ... Nor is it your fault neither. You did what you could… -.
He swallowed
- She loved you too ... A lot ... loving each other was not a mistake, Theseus. -

-I miss her a lot - Theseus said between lighter sobs

-I also ... I miss her a lot ... -

-There are so many things that I did not tell her ... I should have shown her even more how much I loved her ... How important it was to me ... I should have been there for her ... I should have helped her ... I should ... -

- Enough, Theseus. Do not torture yourself like this ... We all had to do different things ... Go on, cry. I'll be here ... Cry all you want ... I will not judge you ... But stop blaming yourself and reproaching her. I know it hurts ... I ... I'm also upset ... And sad ... I feel a deep pain and frustration inside me. There are so many things that I did not tell her ... And to think about what could have been different if I had done it ... It consumes me inside ... -
Newt sighed
- But we can not complain ... She did not sacrifice herself for us to regret ... She did it for of love ... So that we could live and do the right thing ... Leta gave us a purpose and a mission ... And we will fulfill it. For her ... For the wizarding world ... For us. -

Theseus calmed down and nodded.

-We'll catch Grindelwald.-

-For her -

-For her-

They gave a smile of consolation.
The two brothers hugged each other.

After a while they stood up and set out to finish their homework.
They packed each and every one of Leta's things, putting the boxes in the shed in Newt's suitcase. When everything was ready, they took one last look at the now empty place and for the last time blew out the little trace of its perfume.
Both left the house and walked a couple of streets to find an alley where to appear.

-Then ... the american auror ... Tina Goldstein, right? - said Theseus

-Yes. What's wrong with her? - Newt asked without finding a reason for his mention.

-She is very beautiful -

-Yes…. No ... Well ... I guess it's very beautiful - Newt was starting to turn red. Theseus tried to hide his laughter.

-And intense ... She literally tied me to a chair the first time she saw me-

-You threw us boxes, Theseus. -

Theseus shrugged.

-I'm not judging her. I think it's very good auror, it would be good to have someone like her in the Ministry. Does she plan to return to America? -

-No, she's going to stay -

-Well, then I can offer her a position in my apartment -

- I think that she would like that-

-All right. In any case that will be my part, I will see her at work and we will go out to eat a couple of times, so I can tell her about your extensive qualities and your truly hilarious sense of romance- Theseus mocked.

-What are you ... -

-I'm just saying that I'll help you with it. Just avoid the salamanders, will you? -

-What?! Who told you?! - Exalted Newt said with the reddest face that his brother has ever seen.

Theseus laughed.

-It was Jacob, right? -

Theseus put an arm around his brother's back, entering the nearest alley-

-You are awesome little brother -

And with a wave of his wand, both disappeared.