Archive of Our Own

Horton had just managed to put that whole Who-business behind him when...

Oh, I'm sure you're all familiar with Horton. The elephant? "A person's a person, no matter how small." That elephant?

Good. Can I continue now? Thank you.

Horton had just settled down to a nice, Who-free life, was getting used to it really, when one day...

He heard a sound. Not a "help help" sort of sound (which he would have ignored anyway, those sorts of sounds meaning, in Horton's experience, trouble), but a sort of whooshing wheezing grinding sound.

He looked around, and then he saw it. A small, blue box, perched on top of a clover. Oh dear, thought Horton, here we go again.

The doors of the small blue box opened, and out popped an even smaller person.

"Look at *you*--aren't you just *gorgeous*!" he said, in a voice that was much bigger than his small box would suggest.

Horton was a little taken aback. "Excuse me, but... you're not a Who, are you?"

"Of course I'm a who! I'm a person, that's a who, isn't it? If it's a thing, it's a what, so I must be a Who!"

"Doctor! Where are we?" Another small person stuck their head out of the blue box. "Oh. It's one of those again." She ducked back inside with a sound remarkably like a snort.

Horton bent a little closer to this... Who? "So... you're a Who, and a Doctor."

"Welllll... I'm *the* Doctor. And I'm a who, not a what. So, I suppose, yes, I'm a Doctor Who."

Horton thought about that for a few minutes (elephants never forget, it's true, but it takes them a while to remember, and even longer just to think). The small person *bounced* (Horton didn't really have a better word--he was so small, and moving quickly and muttering), and finally Horton had to look away... all that bouncing and muttering was *quite* unnerving.

But after some thinking, and some remembering, Horton had decided what to do.

"I'm sorry," he said to the small Doctor Who, "I'm very sorry. If I were you I'd go inside now."

"Inside? But there's so many brilliant things and it's beautiful and... OI!" The doors slammed behind him *just* as the stream of water from Horton's trunk hit the very small blue box.

Said box bounced off the clover, rolled, and came resting doors-up on the grass. The doors opened, and the small Doctor poked his head out again. "Well, that's gratitude. All right, I know when I'm not wanted. By the way, just so I know to avoid you in the future, what's your name?"

"Horton," said Horton solemnly.

The small person shook his head. "Oh, Horton. Of course, the Who-elephant. Hey, are you still sticking to "I meant what I said and I said what I...HEY!" Horton, tired of hearing that for the umpteybillionth time (he kept count), had sprayed more water in his direction. "Fine, fine, I'll leave." The doors shut, and the whooshing wheezing grinding sound started up, and then the small blue box, with it's small Who-Doctor, disappeared.

"Good riddance," said Horton, and went back to his bath.

No sooner had he gotten a nice, deep trunk-full of water when, here came that whooshing wheezing grinding sound again, and the small blue box appeared again, on a *different* clover this time.

The door popped open, and another small person (who, admittedly, Horton favored over the first one because of his ears) said, "Oh, hello!"

"Weren't you just here?" said Horton tiredly. "Do we have to go through the whole thing again? Really, you Whos have such short memories..."

The small Who-Doctor (for there couldn't be more than one small blue box, even if the people looked different) said, "Nope, wasn't me. Huh. At least, not this me. Maybe a later me, guess I'll know. Wonder if I'll remember..."

Horton, irked at what looked to be *another* verbose Who, sighed, and snorted. More water, more blue-box-bouncing, and a distinctly aggrieved "OI!" was heard.

Just before the doors shut and the whooshing wheezing grinding sound came again, Horton heard a small voice (in a *very* annoyed Northern accent) grumble, "Mammals, never understand them. Catch me ever coming here again."

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," said Horton. "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. I'm tired of Whos, one hundred percent!"