Chapter Text
In his defence, being a supervillain was supposed to be a one-time thing.
Not, Tobirama thinks wryly as he finishes loading the contents of the vault into his bag, that the excuse would help any if he ever got caught. He can almost picture it, the jury staring at him in disbelief while he explains that, really, he didn’t mean to go this far, but really, is it his fault if everyone else is incompetent? He just caught up into it, your honour, he didn’t mean no harm.
Yeah, that’s going to hold in court.
Of course, he has absolutely no intention of getting caught and dragged to court ever. But being a supervillain can also be a very tedious and boring job, and Tobirama’s mind likes to run away from him and invent ridiculous scenarios to keep itself entertained. It’s actually how he got into the supervillain business in the first place. The saying about idle minds has a lot of truth to it, where Tobirama’s concerned.
“Master Tide,” Kagami’s voice breaks through his thoughts with a burst of static coming from his earpiece. Tobirama frowns, and makes a note to check for better technology later on. “We’ve got incoming.”
A glance at the clock has him frowning. A glance around at the now empty vault, and he adjusts his bag over his shoulder, frown turning into a scowl.
“They are late.” He says, not quite hiding the disapproval in his voice.
In his ear, there’s a sound a lot like someone choking down laughter. He doesn’t comment on it, more interested in getting out.
For a second, he contemplates waiting a bit, just to see how things would play through if he gave time for the law enforcement or the heroes to arrive. Just a second, though, and then he shakes his head at his own foolishness and jumps though the hole that he used to get in in the first place. Villains much smarter than himself have gotten caught through this sort of dramatic hubris, and Tobirama doesn’t fancy himself falling for that trick. It would be rather humiliating.
“Dragon,” he calls, and knows even without seeing it that Kagami just straightened in his hiding place at the tone. It makes something like fondness curl inside of him. Foolish child. “Where are we at?”
“The police is two streets away, the hero Rockheart II is coming this way fast, and everything else is in place,” Kagami reports dutifully, perhaps even with too much enthusiasm.
“Rockheart II?” Tobirama repeats, humming. “Non-person’s student, isn’t he?”
“Was, yes,” Kagami says. “Obviously, since he’s a hero, he’s not under his tutelage any longer.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that Non-person taught him,” Tobirama says. “Or do you consider that you won’t be my student even once I’m done teaching you? Even if you become a hero?”
Kagami makes an affronted noise but doesn’t reply. He probably thinks that he’ll never get good enough for Tobirama to stop teaching him. Which is cute but foolish – and Tobirama is still too soft on all his students, and never dares to tell them that one day he won’t be a villain any more and they’ll surpass the master. It doesn’t hurt to let them dream.
The temptation to remain in the tunnel and see if Rockheart II is any better than his grandfather was, or than his teacher is, is strong. Non-person is one of the most prominent villains in Iwa, and his student – gone hero or not – must be skilled. Tobirama squashes it with a vengeance, and keeps his pace brisk. It takes barely a minute for him to reach the sewers, and from then on it’s child’s play to reach the place he and Kagami agreed on.
When he doesn’t see his student waiting for him in the dark, he frowns.
“Dragon,” he says.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Kagami says, sounding slightly out of breath. There’s another burst of static, and then a quiet, “Whoops.”
A second later, Kagami drops like a stone from the ceiling, and only avoids getting drenched in foul sewer liquid – Tobirama refuses to call this waste water – by falling right on top of him. Tobirama catches him around the legs and shoulders, and gives him his best unimpressed look. Kagami has the grace to look sheepish, but doesn’t look fully apologetic.
“Sorry, Master Tide,” he says, “Had to dodge some guy smoking weed in the corridor.”
That’s a better excuse than some Torifu used, and certainly much better than that one time Danzo almost got them all caught because of a cat. A cat. Neither Tobirama nor anyone else that knows the story is ever going to let him forget about about it.
Still…
“Weed?” He says, and ignores Kagami’s yelp as he hoist him up on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “And you didn’t smell him?”
“The whole building reeked of it,” Kagami whines. “How was I supposed to smell the difference between weed and more weed?”
Tobirama hums but doesn’t reply, and Kagami abandons his attempts at squirming out of his hold. His student sags on his shoulder, crossing his arms – Tobirama can feel them on his back. He can just imagine the pout the teenager is currently sporting.
With the ease that comes from dealing with teenagers and children on an almost daily basis, Tobirama ignores him and marches on.
After all, pardon the pun, they aren’t at the end of the tunnel yet.
It’s always bewilderingly easy to shed Tide’s outfit, help Kagami out of Dragon’s own clothes, stash it all in the compartment hidden under the car’s floor carpet. It barely takes a full minute, and once the masks come off there’s no villain there any more. Just Tobirama Senju, ordinary science teacher, and Kagami Uchiha, one of the many high-school students he teaches to. It’s not even unusual for them to be seen together – Kagami happens to be his brother’s best friend’s little cousin, and everyone knows it.
Everyone is also under the impression that Tobirama regularly takes the boy out for remedial lessons. Which isn’t quite untrue, but certainly not the full story.
Not that Tobirama intends for anyone to ever discover said full story. Kagami, just like every student Tobirama has and ever will have, is his responsibility. His to protect, his to teach, his to shield.
Perhaps the best way to do such would be to convince the boy to find another path, because villainy was never safe and never will be. However Kagami is stubborn. Tobirama had known the moment the boy had latched into him that he would never manage to make him let go. It hadn’t stopped him from trying, the first few months of their partnership. These days, though, he only tries half-heartedly and mostly as a joke.
“Well,” Kagami says, and stretches like a cat in the passenger seat, ignoring Tobirama’s pointed look at the safety belt, “That went well.”
“Safety belt,” Tobirama tells him, pointedly not starting the engine until his student huffs and buckles in. Then he turns the key in the contact, and replies to the comment, “A bit too well, if you want my opinion.”
“Sensei,” Kagami says, looking at him, “You think every plan that we escape from goes too well.”
“Yes, because they do,” Tobirama says, tartly. “The moment we relax and become too self-assured, is the moment we get caught, Kagami.”
“I know that,” Kagami agrees easily, “But I still think we got out of this one really well.”
Tobirama has to admit the point, and that’s what has him worried. It shouldn’t have gone so well. According to all of his calculations, and every plans he made from A to H, law enforcement should have showed up five minutes before they actually did. Plans H to O dealt with the very, very real possibility of them reacting even faster, or a hero showing up unexpected.
The fact that they were late either means that law enforcement is getting lax, or that there was another thing that they had to deal with. Or, more dangerous and cunning, they are trying to lull him into a false sense of security to make him slip up.
Given that he almost waited for them proves that it could have worked.
Tobirama very much dislikes to admit it – but he’s not in the habit of lying to himself, so he does, if only to himself – not only is this fishy, but he’s getting arrogant. And that’s more dangerous to villains like him than any hero could ever be.
The thing is, this isn’t the first time something like this happens. In fact, it’s been happening more and more lately. Tobirama has been getting away more and more easily, these days, and he knows that it’s through no improvement of his own. There just hasn’t been any challenge to slow him down.
He frowns. Maybe it is incompetence on the part of law enforcement and hero agencies, but he doubts it. If anything, they should be doing better, should keep growing, should surpass his expectations.
“Could you check why the local agencies were too busy to respond to our robbery?” He asks Kagami. “I have a feeling we’re missing something.”
Kagami shrugs his assent, and takes his phone out of his pocket. A few moments, and he starts listing a few minor crimes in the southern part of the city that had the police apparently busy enough that they didn’t get the call until too late.
“Some guy tried to rob a convenience store, barely two blocks from here,” Kagami says, a bit dubiously. He pauses, reads a bit further, and adds with true bewilderment, “With a knife?”
“Tell me they caught him, otherwise I’m going to hang up my mask and become a police officer just to wipe them into shape,” Tobirama says, flatly.
“Of course they caught him,” Kagami says. “No casualty, not even property damage. Just a desperate guy going about getting some petty cash the wrong way. Probably won’t even get a very harsh sentence – he didn’t even try to hurt anyone.”
“His only redeeming trait, I suppose,” Tobirama says, pursing his lips.
“You’re a bit of a snob, sensei, no offence,” Kagami says with amusement. “Not everyone can be held to your standards of villainy and heroism.”
“It’s not standards, it’s common sense!” Tobirama exclaims, frustrated. He adds, belatedly, sending a pointed look at his student, “Besides, you have no room to talk. I heard you comment on Bones, the other day.”
“He left an hour long timer!” Kagami exclaims, turning an incredulous look on him. “Tell me that wasn’t stupid!”
“I never said it wasn’t,” Tobirama says mildly, because it was, an hour was way too long and left heroes way too much time to escape and disarm the bomb. Nonchalantly, he asks, “And what about what you said about that hero… Mindswap, wasn’t it?”
“He was wearing spandex,” Kagami sniffs, as if it was a personal offence, “and he tried to appeal to their humanity. How much more cliché can you get? Not to mention the fact that he didn’t even have the guts to-”
He pauses, stilling. Tobirama looks at him perfectly mildly, arching a brow. Kagami groans, and then buries his face in his hands.
“Oh my god,” he groans. “You’ve infected me. I’m becoming picky! Soon I’ll start lecturing both the heroes and the other villains on the proper and efficient way to do things!” He turns up his nose and sniffs in what Tobirama assumes is supposed to be a mockery of him, and drawls, “Well, it’s not with such subpar equipment that you are going to catch anyone. I’m insulted you thought it would be sufficient to catch a rat, let alone me.”
Tobirama would be more offended if he hadn’t actually given that exact same speech to that one stupid hero, Ocean. And if that hero hadn’t actually deserved the tongue lashing. For fuck’s sake, he had tried to catch him with an old fashioned net. A net! Not even an electrified one, or something a bit more resistant than a perfectly normal fishing net.
Besides, once more Kagami has no leg to stand on, given that he had been ranting in his ear during the whole incident on the stupidity of trying to catch ‘Master Tide’ with something as ‘common’ and ‘ineffective’ as a net.
Speaking of which…
“We need to change communication devices,” he tells his student, cutting through what would no doubt be another direct quote of one of his ‘lectures’. “There was too much static every time you spoke up.”
“Really?” That derails Kagami effectively, and the boy frowns. “Odd. The distance wasn’t that great, and there weren’t enough obstacles to really impede anything. I heard no static.”
“Maybe it’s just mine which are malfunctioning,” Tobirama says, which is unfortunately a possibility. His powers aren’t well suited to most technology, which is why he has to develop his own. Or let his students do it, in this case. He absently digs his earbud out of his pocket, and drops it into Kagami’s palm. “Here, see if you can find anything wrong with it.”
“I’ll look at it the moment I’m home,” Kagami promises, even as he starts inspecting the small device critically.
Tobirama hums his thanks, and keeps driving. It’s early enough that he could drop Kagami off at his house, and then have some time to read.
Or to plot his next plan.
Something bigger, and flashier, this time. Destructive. To see if his doubts about law enforcement are founded or not.
After all, it’s also possible that they just aren’t taking him as seriously as they used to any more.
That won’t do.
Big and flashy, although it seems to be in the job description for both villains and heroes, isn’t in Tobirama’s nature. He can be dramatic, but frankly it’s more his students’ area of expertise than his – teenagers find drama everywhere, even where there should be none to be found. He much prefers the simple and direct approaches to the grand, convoluted ones, likes sharp and dry quips more than he does long inspiring speeches.
Which is one of the many reasons no one is ever going to look at Tide, and think that he really is Tobirama Senju.
No one is ever going to look at the supervillain wearing blue and red colours and fur over stylized body-armour, and make the connection with that one high-school teacher that wears proper, boring clothes. No one is ever going to see Tide smirking and taunting people, and think that he could be the quiet and almost standoffish guy that lives down the street.
The only common point that could clue people in is the hair. But in a country where people are born with naturally pink or green hair, Tobirama doesn’t have the monopoly on silver – in fact, it’s getting almost common.
Tide and him are so different, Tobirama thinks with amusement and a tiny bit of annoyance, that his own brother doesn’t recognize him.
That, or Hashirama legitimately doesn’t believe Tobirama could be a villain.
The plant hero, Lignum, sends a flurry of vines and roots after him, and Tobirama scoffs as he evades the predictable move. It’s learned behaviour, at this point, to put a slight twirl to his movements, to act more gracefully and lightly than Tobirama Senju ever would, to smirk in the face of relentless attacks and mock the heroes from a perch safely out of reach.
“Is that all you have?” He calls, cocking his head to the side mockingly. His voice comes out deeper, slightly strange with the usual modulator. “Did you really expect such an attack wood work?”
In his ear, he hears Danzo snort and then cover it up with a painfully fake cough.
Lignum makes a noise that is half-frustration and half-anger, and shoots after him on wooden pillars. Tobirama jumps off, whirling out of the way and using the branches to get away – not lingering enough for the vines to catch him.
He can still hear his student clearing his throat through the communication device.
“That was an easy one, Master Tide,” Danzo comments, once he has regained some of his composure. Adds, after a beat. “Not a very good one either.”
Tobirama rolls his eyes, hidden from view by his mask – visor, really, since it’s see-through and technological, but its purpose is to hide his identity more than anything else. Really, his students are worse than him, when it comes to making inappropriately bad puns in the heat of battle.
They should be glad he’s even partaking in such a stupid contest. Puns do not come to him naturally – unlike to Kagami, who can make a dozen fire puns in under a minute if left unchecked.
If Tobirama hadn’t lost that bet…
Well. No use in crying over spilled milk.
He’s a bit too busy to care about it much at the moment, as well.
Hashirama – and really, even if he hadn’t stolen a copy of all the heroes files in the government office a year ago, and if Hashirama hadn’t confessed to being a hero two seconds after becoming one, he would have known that Lignum was his brother on sight – makes an unnecessary gesture, a grand move of his arms, and sends more plants after him. Tobirama wants to roll his eyes again. He might do the same when fighting in public, all sweeping hands and dramatic moves, but it’s all for his image and the sake of his cover.
Hashirama, though? He knows his brother. The dork does it earnestly, because he thinks it helps in controlling his powers and because he was genuinely born theatrical – and his friendship with the Uchiha helped nothing in that matter.
“Stop moving!” His brother calls after him, as if that has ever worked before. Then, painfully earnest, “Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting innocent people?”
“And here we go again,” Danzo mutters in his ear, sounding exasperated. “Don’t they ever learn that it doesn’t work?”
Privately, Tobirama agrees. Everyone always mocks villains for monologuing, but frankly heroes do it just as often. They just call it ‘inspiring speeches’ instead of monologues. Not that it makes much of a difference.
Unfortunately, while he would much rather stay silent and let his silence speak for itself, and hopefully discourage heroes from jabbering at him, he can’t do that. Especially not in front of his brother. So he simply smirks at Hashirama, who stands away from him surrounded by plant life, and replies.
“Innocent? I wouldn’t go that far,” he says, casual but mocking. A branch shoots at him like a whip, and he carelessly dodges out of the way. Through the visor he can see the unmasked part of his brother’s face tighten in frustration. His smirk widens, despite the fact that he wants to tut at his brother – really, Hashirama should be better than that – and he adds, deliberately dismissive. “Might want to work on your aim, Lignum.”
“What do you mean?” Hashir- Lignum calls to him, frowning. “About them not being innocent?”
Tobirama scoffs, unable to stop himself. They make it so easy, really.
“Master Tide, careful,” Danzo reminds him. “No lecturing your brother about listening to villains.”
Damn his student, he has a point. Tobirama wants to scowl – because really, this is a farce at best, and Hashirama is so painfully naive in points that he just wants to shake him and try to instil some good sense in him. Of course, that would result in his brother knowing immediately who he is.
Tobirama is very much not ready to face that particular demon, so he tilts his head and hums. Time for some bullshitting.
“Ah, but what is innocence?” He asks wryly. “Are you innocent? Am I? Is anyone truly innocent?”
“Oh my gods, Master Tide,” Danzo makes a disgusted noise in his ear. “Philosophy, really?”
“Well, it works,” he murmurs with some reluctant amusement, watching as Hashi- Lignum grows even more frustrated once he understands that he’s being made fun of. “How far along are we?”
“Almost there,” Danzo reports faithfully. “Another thirty seconds, at most.”
“Good work,” he praises quietly, and then lets himself fall to the side, coincidentally dodging the vines that were trying to creep up on him.
He twists mid-air, grabs onto one branch that is trying to whack him, and flips further away. A vegetal tendril grazes at his mask, and he grins, a baring of teeth, when he realizes that he’s starting to get surrounded. Hashirama has been leading him towards a corner, overwhelming everything else with vegetation. Subtle it is not, but again people with his brother’s powers don’t often need it.
Tobirama is perfectly aware that in terms of sheer capacity and power, let alone stamina, his brother surpasses him. Hashirama was always the powerful one in the family.
“Done!” Danzo exclaims in his ear. “All yours, Master!”
Tobirama hums in thanks, and looks at his brother. Ha- Lignum looks less frustrated now, certain that he has him. His confusion when Tobirama smirks at him easily is a beautiful thing. Hashirama always makes a truly hilarious confused face.
“Oh my, you have me cornered, it seems,” he says, tuning out Danzo’s groan. As if the teenager wouldn’t be ten times more dramatic and wordy in his place. “Shame.” Then, because messing with Hashirama is a guilty pleasure of his, he adds. “Your plants look a bit wilted there, Lignum.”
Hashirama, bless his heart, looks at his plants quizzically even as he makes them move to restrain him. Tobirama wants to laugh, and does so. Which probably makes his brother suspicious. But not enough. Never enough.
“How about we give them some water?”
Hashirama understands what he’s going to do a second too late. His plants surge forward to restrain him, others growing thickly to protect their creator – and every window and cracks in the ground erupt into water, flooding the entire area. A sharp chop of his hand has a wave washing away every damn vine, tendril and piece of wood that were moving towards him, and another forces a veritable torrent down on Lignum and the remaining police forces.
The hero has no other choice than to use his powers to protect both himself and everyone else, and Tobirama huffs as he rides the wave up and away, heading to the river that is coincidentally nearby – no one even noticed he was leading them in that direction.
Tobirama drops into the water, letting go of everything else. Helping the current a little is a simple matter, and Tobirama smiles as the water tugs him along, away from his brother and everyone else.
“Everything good?” Danzo asks.
“It went perfectly,” Tobirama says, satisfied. Meeting his brother out there wasn’t exactly expected but… It was fun. They see too little of each other outside of family dinners, these days. “On your hand?”
“They still haven’t realized I sabotaged the water pressure in the pipes,” Danzo says. “It shouldn’t be long, though.” He adds, hesitantly. “We might not be able to pull that trick again.”
“Nonsense,” Tobirama says. “A city cannot possibly cut the water supply out completely.”
Besides, he thinks with smug satisfaction, even if they did, there’s rivers everywhere, sewers and more sources. It’s not as though he’s out of tricks. Far from it.
“What about Dragon and Breakthrough?” Tobirama asks.
“Safely back at HQ,” Danzo replies dutifully. “Ran into a small spot of trouble, but nothing important. Do you want me to connect them through?”
“Might as well,” Tobirama agrees.
Underwater as he is, he’d be surprised if the police or heroes managed to pick up their frequencies. A small burst of static fizzles in his ear, before Kagami and Torifu’s voices greet him in tandem.
“Master Tide!”
“Dragon, Breakthrough,” Tobirama greets back, unable to help a tiny smile. “How was your end of things?”
“Everything went fine,” Torifu replies, “The distraction worked as intended. No one even realized we had sneaked in.”
“That’s good,” Tobirama says. “Root told me you ran into trouble?”
“Damn it, Root,” Kagami hisses, and then with forced innocence. “It wasn’t anything important!”
“Dragon melted through a vent without meaning to, and knocked out a guard accidentally when it fell down,” Torifu immediately throws his friend under the bus.
“Breakthrough!” Kagami gasps. “Betrayal! Deception! I’m surrounded by traitors! See if I ever cover for you again!”
“You say that like sen- erm, Master Tide wouldn’t have found out on his own anyway,” Torifu says.
There is a very telling beat of silence, before the sound of Danzo clearing his throat comes through.
“He has a point,” he tells Kagami.
“Shut up,” Kagami says, audibly pouting.
“Children,” Tobirama sighs. “Squabble on your own time. I take it everything was put back as it should?”
“It was,” Torifu says.
“Piece of cake,” Kagami agrees. “The objective was rather simple to recover, too.” His voice brightens. “What about you, sensei?”
Tobirama clears his throat meaningfully.
“Um, right, Master Tide,” Kagami corrects sheepishly.
“Everything went well,” Tobirama reports. He looks at the waterproof bag that is still tied to his hip, snug under his armour. “I managed to get the samples from the lab with none the wiser, before moving to the distraction.”
“The southern main way is still flooded, as is the old hospital,” Danzo dutifully reports, mostly for the sake of Kagami and Torifu. “The police and heroes on scene are helping the rescue effort. Casualties are few – some injuries, mostly in the force as everyone was evacuated, one civilian shipped to the hospital with haste, mostly property damages.”
“Huh,” Torifu says, puzzled, “You showed a lot of restraint, Master Tide.”
“Trust me, there was no restraint,” Danzo snorts, like the little snitch he is. “Lignum was simply there to prevent most of the injuries. He did cause a fair amount of damage himself, though.”
“Ah,” Torifu says.
“Probably was the plan, though, wasn’t it?” Kagami says faithfully – and that’s why he’s Tobirama’s favourite.
“It was,” Tobirama agrees.
Technically, the plan intended for more damage, even, since he had actually counted on another hero to show up. But in the end, the objectives were met. He and his students got what they set out to get, he got to wreck some havoc on the city, got a nice fight out of it, and even a family bonding moment.
All in all, Tobirama is rather happy with it. What a fruitful day.
“I think this calls for some celebration.” He says. “Dinner. My treat.”
His students erupt into cheering in his ears. Tobirama listens with only half his attention as they start firing suggestions, only for Danzo to start denouncing Kagami’s tastes in spice. As the excited cheering devolves into petty squabbling, Tobirama thinks back on the fight.
It had been rather exhilarating, if short and marred by the fact that he didn’t put his all into it – it was intended to be a diversion and nothing more. Hashirama’s power has always been incredible, and fighting against him gave Tobirama more of a thrill than many of his stunts have lately.
Maybe he shouldn’t hope for a rematch, but a part of him, forever bored and in quest of action, yearns for it.
Another part also yearns to punch his brother square in the face, the perfect vengeance for all those times where Hashirama was too busy chasing dreams to spend time with him.
Tobirama hums, distractedly agreeing to Torifu’s sensible offer to get sushi, mind already miles away and plotting. Danzo is worried for nothing – the heroes think they are getting wise to his tricks, but Tobirama has still a vast supplies of them. And even if he were to fall short, well.
Hashirama may be the powerful one, in their family. But Tobirama was always the smart one.
He’ll invent new tricks.