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“That’s what love is,” Namjoon used to say. “When it helps you walking forward and mess up your head at the same time.”
That’s what love is.
Of course, when Namjoon had said it, it had sounded way simpler and maybe a little smarter, Namjoon has this habit to grin tenderly and look at the sky as if able to understand their destiny when he explains anything- Namjoon was cute, Yoongi had thought; but Namjoon was smart and calm and how the fuck could one be this calm in such a situation? Yoongi was mad, so mad at himself and at his feelings and so mad at Namjoon for being this placid; so mad at Taehyung and his god damn boxy smile of his. Four years ago, Yoongi was mad at pretty much everything.
He doesn’t know how it happens between them; what changed, was it always this way? He’ll never know, the only thing he knows is that he and Taehyung started dating a few years back, the kid was young and unexperimented but it was good, all good; Yoongi can remember Taehyung’s eagerness and the smell of his hair. It was all good. Until one day where Yoongi confessed to Namjoon; just like that, during a pretty night and the fresh air had enveloped them both as Namjoon was drinking a grape flavored milk packet in front of the 24/7 store. Namjoon hadn’t even flinched, “That’s what love is,” he had just said and sighed. Yoongi had been in love with Namjoon since the first day, when he had listened to him talking about gender equality and the power of imaginary spaceships. It would’ve had sounded lame to anyone else but Yoongi had loved it, had wondered if Namjoon wasn’t the one. They’ve been living together since more than eight years, Namjoon knows him like the back of his hand and there was even a time where they couldn’t let go of each other; holding hands in the studio and too scared to even consider going back to the dorm. Namjoon is Yoongi’s safe place, his confession is expected that night, the stars had expected it, Namjoon had somehow always expected it.
“I don’t know what to do, I love Taehyung so much, and I love you so much,” Yoongi had hidden his face in his hands in an attempt to suppress the heat of his blushing cheeks and to hide from Namjoon’s piercing gaze.
“Love can be shared, sharing can sometimes hold one’s most genuine sacrifice,” Namjoon had replied, so smooth, so neat, as usual; one of his arms wrapping around Yoongi’s and they had talked about music beats a bit longer, Yoongi couldn’t look away from his lips that night. He had understood what sharing meant, the implications it had.
Fast enough Yoongi learns that Taehyung likes Namjoon too, and he finds himself squeezed between the two tall men one afternoon; he had been cuddling with Taehyung for a while until Namjoon had simply slipped behind him to hold him as close as possible. The two loves of his life had stared to each other as if meeting for the first time, Yoongi in between and safe in their arms. And Yoongi had felt Namjoon’s freshly washed hair’s droplets dripping over his cheek as the two others had leaned in slowly and kissed for the first time ever, just above Yoongi’s stunned face.
Meanwhile, he had seen Jimin and Hoseok getting closer than they had ever been, touchy and kinky and relieving the perpetual stress in each other’s presence; allowing Seokjin sometimes to enter their little games, their bedroom, their bedsheets; and Yoongi could hear his hyung laughing so loud some days that he had wondered what on earth they were doing until one day Taehyung admits that he too joins them.
Surprisingly Yoongi isn’t even mad. Taehyung has been in love with Jimin for a while, they both know; Yoongi can see the sparks in his boyfriend’s eyes whenever Taehyung tells him what he and Jimin did in the afternoon together. Hoseok loves to play with the youngest members, Taehyung is not an exception, Yoongi knows that because Hoseok told him one day while drinking,
“Jungkook, this kid, I swear to god,” Hoseok had said “I let him suck my dick and then it’s Jimin’s turn, Taehyung is always late so I go down on him while the two little shits watch, I let your boyfriend finish on my face, can you imagine?”
Yoongi had learned it the hard way, but he hadn’t mind at all. He had felt more than jealousy. It was a new sort of commitment down his heart, he felt cherished, beautifully challenged and loved. It was peace, they were all at peace. Nothing could ever stop them from soaring if the pillars of their relationship were nothing else than immeasurable love and eternal adoration.
Hoseok had always had a special place in Yoongi’s heart, and they kiss on Hoseok’s bed that day, they make love; just where Taehyung had sucked Hoseok off a day before. Namjoon joins them, Yoongi barely sees him coming until he’s naked and big next to them; Yoongi thinks this is the hottest thing he’s ever seen when Namjoon fucks his friend just in front of him, he’s never seen Hoseok this far gone,
“Rap into my ear- please- fuck me, cum inside of me-“ Yoongi is overjoying in his delirium as he watches Namjoon murmuring a verse in Hoseok’s ear while fucking him deep and slow, Hoseok is babbling incoherently and Yoongi cums just at the sight, feeling like a lucky, dirty witness of their indescribable fulfillment.
Ever since that day pretty much all of them know shits are going on between them all, and Yoongi knows it’s just a matter of time until they all talk about it and decide what to do. It’s pure excitement and anxiety that drives his mind crazy until it happens, finally. They all find themselves sitting at the dining table one evening, all staring expectantly at Namjoon as if he’s the one able to fix this mess, but Namjoon is looking at Yoongi instead, a sort of playful gaze that seems to say, “I told you it would happen, love is sharing, have a seat and tell them,”
Yoongi sits down, all of them are staring at him now, waiting. It blurts out so naturally, Yoongi himself is surprised and astonished by the genuineness of his words,
“I love you,” he pauses, silence. “All of you, I want to spend my life with all of you, I don’t know how it’s possible but, I am in love with each one of you.” At this moment Jungkook gets up, and not knowing what to expect, Yoongi’s breath stops. The youngest makes his way over him and simply holds his hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“Me too,” he adds, as if continuing Yoongi’s previous insane train of thoughts, and looks at each of them with so much pride and power in the eyes “I wondered for a long time, but I can’t choose one, or two, I want all of you.” He then turns to Yoongi, “I love you, Yoongi,” and back at the five others again. “And I love you all.”
Yoongi’s head is spinning and he can’t believe this is really happening, but Taehyung stands up in his turn and joins them, his hand coming to hold Yoongi’s free one and he has never smiled this brightly before; Jimin and Hoseok gets up at the same time, their hands already linked together and taking a few proud steps forward to join them and Jimin gives a chaste kiss on Taehyung’s lips. Seokjin watches the whole scene with both confusion and awe, it has Yoongi standing up, knowing deep inside that he’s the one who has started it, he’s the one holding them all united like precious pieces that can only make sense if putted together. Yoongi feels like the rudder of a beautiful ship, leading them all to a unique destination. He opens his hand for Seokjin to take, they’re all watching as the oldest gets up with a flustered smile, his hand already slipping in Yoongi’s own like a smooth stream, Hoseok is already by his side to hold his hips and send a luminous grin his way.
“You made me realize all of this was possible,” Yoongi speaks up, with such a satisfaction in the insides that it burns, “I love you Joon, come here,” he says and takes a deep breath, and Namjoon’s blushing dimples have never been this pretty. Before everyone’s emotional eyes, Namjoon kisses him slowly and Yoongi feels his heart explodes with how full it is.
Later in the night they push Hoseok’s bed closer to Jimin’s own so they can all fit in one, and they find themselves safe and surrounded by love like they’ve never been in their lives; grinning widely with a new shyness and massaging their sides and middles in the dark bedroom. Yoongi wants everyone to feel at ease before anything happens, but it appears as the most natural thing in the world when Namjoon and Seokjin on each side, kiss Yoongi at the same time. Their tongues travel down the pale skin of his jaw with a sort of extraordinary parallelism and, next to Seokjin Hoseok is already kissing Jimin sensually whilst, next to Namjoon, Taehyung is hovering Jungkook like it’s the most legitimate and logical thing to do.
Yoongi’s mind is going to explode, he thinks. Namjoon and Seokjin go down on him slowly, kissing sometimes, as if sharing Yoongi’s sweat, their heated sighs already hitting the goosebumps of his skin and, Jimin’s hand shakily makes its way to his own to catch his attention, Yoongi looks at him as asked and- oh, Hoseok’s mouth is already full of Jimin’s flesh. Their eyes lock together for a while as Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s tongues are traveling on their thighs and Jimin genuinely smiles, opening his legs wider for Hoseok to finger him as Yoongi watches. At the same time, Namjoon has lied on his back and Taehyung is straddling him, rubbing his ass on the elder’s crotch as Jungkook is busy massaging Taehyung’s butt cheeks.
Seokjin looks up to watch the scene, his plump lips wet and swollen from the work he’s been offering to Yoongi, and Yoongi takes this occasion to take a grip of his black hair to bring his face to his level and French kiss him, so dirty and allured that he drools and his tongue slips past the other’s mouth with squelching sounds. On his left side, Taehyung’s entrance is filled up more each passing seconds as he hovers Namjoon, his cock entering him slowly and Yoongi’s breath is stuck down his throat at the sight but then- Jungkook enters Taehyung in his turn from behind, his tongue drawing filthy forms over Taehyung’s shoulder and the said Taehyung shakes- moaning loudly from being penetrated by Jungkook and Namjoon at the same time and Yoongi’s eyes rolls in the back of his head at the view. On his right side, Hoseok’s bright laugh drags him from his dirty daydream and he’s already fucking into Jimin from behind; lying on his side, Jimin’s so close from Yoongi that he can feel his hiccupped gasps hitting his neck and Hoseok pushes into his limp body so harshly that Yoongi almost finds himself crunched by Jimin’s body because of the force of Hoseok’s thrusts, obliged to hold onto poor Jimin’s hand with how hard Hoseok is fucking him.
Seokjin lets go of his sweatpants and free his cock to grind on Yoongi’s own, squeezing their members together with his big hand and Yoongi feels so overwhelmed at the moment- his hand clutches around Jimin’s one and his other hand, blindly searches for Namjoon’s own to squeeze it as hard as he can. When their eyes meet, Namjoon’s head is going up and down on the pillow with how hard Jungkook is fucking into Taehyung and Namjoon must probably feel it- the line of Jungkook’s cock along his own. This is so filthy, Yoongi opens his mouth to scream because he feels so good- so full, so right at the moment.
In both of his ears, Jimin’s and Taehyung’s broken moans are insanely invading his head and it’s all he can hear, along Seokjin’s breathy whimpers dying in his neck and Yoongi doesn’t know where to look; Hoseok is staring at him as he fucks into Jimin, smirking; on the other side Namjoon is looking up at him as well, his glassy eyes closing from time to time and opening again to lock eyes again with him. His euphoric gaze is full of love, full of happiness, he tightens the grip of their connected hands when he comes. Yoongi comes at the same time, his jaw clenching hard as he stains Seokjin’s hand and Jimin reaches his orgasm a few seconds after, his cum painting Yoongi’s pale hip bone as he arches his neck. He cries and clenches around Hoseok’s cock, Hoseok unloads his seed deep inside of him at the feeling, Yoongi watches in pure delight.
In no time Jimin and Hoseok crawl over, Hoseok still buried inside of him as Yoongi opens his arms for them to fall in. Yoongi hugs them tightly, as Seokjin jerks himself over Yoongi’s pale chest and they all watch, rubbing fond hands over Seokjin’s smooth thighs and over his back to calm him and help him through it. At the same time, Namjoon’s hand runs sensually over Jungkook’s sides when the youngest stains Taehyung’s insides and Namjoon- Namjoon probably felt it on his own cock with the way his eyelids flutter in pure ecstasy. Taehyung cries as he comes, shaking and sobbing in Namjoon’s neck and Namjoon immediately brings them all closer from the others if possible, as if physically seeking his lovers’ presence. Yoongi pets Taehyung’s hair, kissing his shivering lips and sending him the warmest smile he can when their eyes meet. Then he kisses Jungkook, he recognizes the taste of Taehyung’s skin’s when he does so. Jimin leans over and kisses him filthily, Seokjin joins and kisses him at the same time and Yoongi can feel two tongues sliding on his lips, his mind is clouded with indescribable colors. At the same time Hoseok sits up and kisses Namjoon like he’s offering him his entire existence, holding the back of his head and tilting his own when he licks his skin.
They sigh, they kiss more, then they all catch their breath and listen to each other’s heartbeats. Yoongi feels like this night is never going to end, the time has stopped, as if stuck in a thrilling and fascinating dream. His lovers are running delectable and careful hands on their middles, they hold hands, he doesn’t know whose hand he’s even holding at this point; they laugh in the satisfying silence.
Harmony has never felt this authentic, and suddenly Namjoon’s words invade his mind once again, this time they really make sense, Yoongi fully understands them when he falls into a passionate slumber,
That’s what love is.