Chapter Text
"I said I've been set up in a marriage." I look at him who still not giving any reaction regarding that information I just told him.
I'm hoping, really hoping for a little bit of surprise look from him, but what he shows me right now clearly broke all of my hopes. He doesn't flinch a little bit, not a single blink of surprise, or even a twitch of lips. I feel my dignity flow out of my soul right now.
It's not his fault. He made it clear from the beginning, that he doing it with me just for fun. Nothing more than to satisfying his sexual need. He reminded me everytime we met. Every morning when we woke up in the same bed, he reminded me of that fact. Said that I shouldn't loose myself, said that all the nights we spent together are meant nothing to him.
And I agree everytime, solely because I was too bored with life.
Thought I can control myself, thought I never wavered. But turns out it's getting harder the more I'm spending time with him. He completely owns me in his hands. I'll run to him just by 'I need you' in his message. I came to him, craving him for more as time goes by. I started to put my feeling in the game.
I try to keep it lowkey, but he feel it, apparently. He felt it when I started care for him, and he use that for his advantage. Using me even harder and makes me fall for him deeper. It's like a never ending cycle. All of his reminder about our relationship becomes nothing, because it wasn't working for me. He knew it but he keep doing that just to avoid the blame later in the future.
And here is the future I'm talking about. I silently hoping him to keep me, to embrace and accept my feeling, but of course he won't move from his place. He already stated clearly from the begining, that he's not gonna change his feeling by whatsoever happened during our game. And he's true to his word. Now I can't blame him with what I feel right now.
I'm miserable.
I sigh, "Can you say something?"
"It's for your own good."
I look him in the eye, still can't believe that's the words that came out of his mouth after his long silence.
"Honestly, I don't know what you're doing with me. I don't have anything, pretty much different from you who has everything in your hands already. Money, reputation, clear bright future. A marriage is good for you." He explains. At least he talking about this, because it means he think about it.
"What about my feeling?" I said quietly.
"It will grow for whoever your husband-to-be like it grew with me."
We look at each other.
"It's unfortunate that you have those feelings for me. It shouldn't appear, though. It's unfortunate that I let that grew. Looks like I was trust you too much to handle it alone. Looks like my reminder wasn't enough." He said again, still with those calming state of his.
I gulps, feeling more miserable. I close my eyes, tired.
"I think this is a goodbye, then." He said it finally. "It was fun. I'm wishing you happiness always, Rae."
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We left alone after dinner. Our families said we should get along, know each other before the wedding day. Everything is happened so fast, without even an official engagement or something like that. We set the wedding date already, both of the families just want to get over it as soon as possible. That's how business works. It's basically just a business for both of families. Both parties's reputation is on the line. Getting me and him together will open many doors for our business. Even bigger one. A team that people predicts will never going to lose through centuries.
I don't care. I live like that for my entire life. I did what I have to do, what my parents told me to, I always be a good girl for them, but I don't really care a single thing about that. They don't have to know how crumble I am, how a mess myself is, actually. Come to think of it, that's the reason why I'm playing with Brian. He was just as crumble as me when we met, bored as hell with each other's life, so we easily lost in each other's companion. The difference is, he controlled his feeling perfectly while I wasn't.
But no, I decided to not break. I just need to get back to my old self. A confident rude good girl I am, at least in front of my family. Not sure if I can do it in front of Brian Kang.
Now him, Park Jaehyung, soon my husband. A childhood friend of mine, the annoying one. We always compete to be more rude against each other. Never get along well, always bickering. But apparently, our family saw that as cute interaction, an indication that we're close. Which is not.
A dozen years not seeing him because he was study abroad, he grew to a very tall man. Handsome and classy with a really good intuition in business. He's a perfect future leader, as he won many projects in his own hands. His reputation is rising these days, become one of the young business man that people want to work with. That's another reason why my family agreed to this marriage proposal.
Yes, my family is the one who received the proposal from his family. They said they're always like to connecting every business aspects with my family. Two giant groups of South Korea become one. Imagine what will happend later to the nation. And it seems Jae too, like me, is an obedient child.
So here we are. Watching an amazing night view from a rooftop resort Jae's family own in Jeju. A luxury, very exclusive one. Private beach in front of us, hiding from common people.
He handed his suit for me. Jeju's weather never felt too cold, but it's windy. A warm comfortable wind, though. He giving me his suit is just a basic manner rich people do. And I received it, put it on me nonchalantly, just like rich people do.
"Just get this over it." I said facing him, blocking his view of the beach. His dark brown hair moving because of the wind and I found it endearing somehow.
He frown his forehead.
"I know this marriage is just about business, so let's list the things we shouldn't cross after the marriage."
"Why should I?" He stares at me, one corner of his lips twitch up.
"You hate this as much as I do. You do this just to obey your parent's wish."
He laugh a little, "Says who?"
Now it's me who frowning.
"Again, you're assuming things. Seems like your habit of assuming things still hasn't change." He smile.
Every grown up woman in the industry craving for his smile, I heard. Every grown up woman want to laid herself for him, I heard. He's like an Idol, I heard. True, apparently.
"You don't...?" I look at him in disbelieve.
"No." He wider his smile, showing his white neatly arranged teeth of his. "You want to know a secret?"
I give him a questioning look.
He moves closer. And closer until just a tiny air left separating us. His face go to my left ear then he whisper, "I'm the one who asked for this marriage."
I get shivers in my shoulders. I'm wearing his suit that covering my shoulder's skin but it's like the wind can blow through it. Is it the wind? Or is it his breathing on my ear? And also, why he stay in this position longer than he should be? As if he want to making sure that his words are glued on me.
I look at him when he finally step back to his position, but still standing too close, "Why?" I'm frowning again.
He tilt his head a little, stare at me with a questioning look, "You don't remember?"
I frown my forehead deeper, thinking. Trying to understand what he meant by that. He must be implying about some childhood memories of us, right?
"Try to remember it, then we can talk again about this." He step backward again. "Now let's go inside, you're freezing."
I'm still deep in my own thought, and he just standing there waiting. Finally I give up after awhile, really can't call anything from my childhood memories.
"It's warm, though." I said before stepping forward.
"But you're freezing." He touch my left cheek just like that. He matched the timing of my step that walking to him and he just did that by the time I was on his hand reach. "I'm right."
I stop because of that. Wait. Is he the same Park Jaehyung from my childhood? Why is he like this right now? What happened to him? We should be bickering about this marriage thing, but what's with him being all sweet and gentlement?
"Look, you still don't understand your body immunity, too. Are you still get sick easily?"
I just staring at him. "Who are you?" Finally I can't hold it anymore.
He just smile and shrug his shoulders, then turn back and walk away from me.
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