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Lelouch is there when Suzaku climbs into the Albion's cockpit, reclining back on the dash panel of blinking screens and buttons worn smooth by Suzaku's fingers. He's relaxed; Suzaku can see that in his posture; he's taken off the cape and hat of his ceremonial white ensemble and he looks less imposing, much less commanding. He’s adopted a sort of lazy, casual sprawl with his foot up on the pilot seat and looks thinner, smaller, frailer like this.
(Suzaku is reminded yet again of the fact that he could destroy him, if he wanted. And, the sick, cruel voice that’s been taunting him ever since he committed his first murder at the tender age of ten adds, soon you will.)
Lelouch raises his gaze to meet Suzaku's, arching an eyebrow at him, not bothering to hide the appreciation in his gaze as he looks over his knight’s body in the tight-fitting flight suit. Suzaku sighs and leans against the side of the knightmare’s hatch with his arms crossed over his chest, silently demanding to know why Lelouch is here, of all places: somewhere that’s supposed to be his, some sort of sacred that his oldest friend and worst enemy doesn’t usually dare to profane with his presence.
"I don't believe I ordered you to do anything, did I, my knight?" Lelouch drawls, an excuse for a joke, guessing at why Suzaku seems so frustrated. Pushing a strand of hair back from his face as he scoots higher up on the control panel, the toe of his boot pushing off of the pilot’s seat he asks "Are you deserting me?"
He laughs after he asks it and Suzaku knows why: it’s a stupid question, a rhetorical one. A power play, or maybe some self-satisfying reassurance.
"Never, " Suzaku quickly snaps back too quickly, forgetting in his haste that he's supposed to hate him. With a sigh he folds himself into the pilot’s seat and Lelouch smirks, pleased at his answer and unafraid to show it as he presses the toe of his boot against Suzaku’s knee.
“I made a promise.”
(Suzaku remembers a promise that pre-dates the one that hangs heavy over their heads. It had been a joke, mostly...the day he’d kissed Lelouch’s cheek in a field surrounded with dandelion fuzz and told him “When you obliterate Britannia, I’ll be there.”)
“I’ve made and broken many promises,” Lelouch shrugs. Like it’s something to be made light of, like it’s nothing. Slowly, he slides off his boot and lets it slide to the floor of the cockpit with a soft thump, nudging Suzaku’s knees wider apart and working his foot up the inside of his thigh. Suzaku’s cheeks burn with shame at how eagerly his legs fall open, the way he damn near invites it: what he knows is coming, the gentle pressure of the ball of Lelouch’s foot against his crotch. “Why stay?”
Suzaku swallows thickly as his hands twitch where they’re holding the armrests of the chair. He’s here for a lot of reasons. The question is loaded and Lelouch knows it, so Suzaku doesn’t indulge him with an answer. He’s not even sure if he could form one anyway. The corners of Lelouch’s mouth turn up, tongue flicking out to swipe across his lip as he toes up the hardening line of Suzaku’s cock beneath the thin fabric. That face is so pleased, so self-satisfied that it makes Suzaku’s skin craw and blood boil.
The blood that isn’t rushing to his cock, that is. He’s fully there now, cock hard and thick as it strains against the skin tight fabric of the flight suit and he can’t even bear to look up at Lelouch, focusing instead on the panel beneath Lelouch. If he looks, he’s gone, and dammit, Lelouch knows it. He swears he can read his mind because at the exact moment Suzaku admits defeat and moves to look up Lelouch orders “Look at me,” and Suzaku obeys it without a second thought.
Lelouch lifts his hips off the control panel, hooks thumbs in the waistband of his pants and slides them down his thin legs, tugging his other shoe off in the process and letting it all fall into a soft pile. He’s left with the robe and pulled up like this it’s an obscene length, barely hitting his mid-thigh and Suzaku stares, taking in the way his cock looks in the tight black briefs he wears, eagerly committing to memory the glances he gets at creamy thighs, the jut of his hips, his flat stomach when Lelouch shifts and the robe rides up. Still damnably able to take his breath away.
“Lelouch-” he starts, and Lelouch slides down from his perch on the control panel and onto Suzaku’s lap, straddling his waist like it's the only place he belongs. He slides his hands up Suzaku’s chest, thumbing over the fabric of the flight suit, the jewels inlaid into the uniform. He chose those, sewed them in, and Suzaku guesses that touching them makes him remembers the prick of many a needle. Oh, how his fingers had bled when he'd sewn their new garments...how he'd deserved it.
Suzaku wants to be mad at how Lelouch touches him like he used to, touches him like he’s his and even more he wants to be mad at just how much he likes it. The flight suit is well-fitted, more than just tailored but tailored tight, chosen to show off Suzaku's impressive physique and his fingers trail across his chest slowly, up and over his shoulders and down his back, finding the zipper and tugging it down. His hands are cool against the warmth of Suzaku’s skin (Lelouch has always had cold hands, poor circulation in elegant fingers) but that isn’t the only reason he’s shivering. He doesn’t really try to fight it; there’s no point and besides, it’s easier to grind up against the inside of Lelouch’s thigh as he leans forward, allowing his lover to peel the flight suit off his shoulders and down his arms. Easier to forgo feigning surprise when Lelouch steps back off of his lap, easier and more enjoyable to just lift his hips and help him pull the flight suit down his legs. The motion takes his briefs with them and Lelouch repeats the process with his own, letting the familiar scrap of black fabric fall to the floor and miraculously not stumbling in the confined space of the cockpit.
Suzaku is trying to toe off his boots and divest himself of the flight suit entirely when Lelouch climbs back on his lap, arching sinuously against him as he lifts his robe up around his waist, grip surprisingly firm as he takes both of their cocks in hand. Suzaku hisses as his hips buck up into Lelouch’s hand, hands tightening their grip on his hips to balance him. Lelouch braces his hand on the back of the seat behind Suzaku’s head, leaning forward so he can grind their cocks together harder. Softly, teasing, he whispers “Guess what I want, Suzaku,” as his head hangs forward, forehead pressing to his knight’s as he pants out his pleasure.
Suzaku grunts in response, enough of a consent to please Lelouch well enough and Suzaku loosens his hold on him when he realizes he’s more flexible than he gave him credit for when he bends, leaning down off of his lap to reach and rifle through the pocket of his pants to find a small bottle of lube. Suzaku wants to roll his eyes - of course Lelouch wouldn’t go somewhere without a plan.
Icily, he informs him"If you wanted to fuck, you could have just summoned me," and immediately regrets it. Lelouch looks hurt, the corners of his mouth turning down into a pouting frown, his brows furrowing. The entire atmosphere of the cockpit changes, air thickening with an unpleasant intensity and Suzaku wishes for the first time in a long time that he could shove his words back into his mouth.
"Do you think I want to summon you?" Lelouch asks quietly after a few heavy, silent seconds and there's almost a tremor to his voice. "To order my boyfriend to have sex with me?"
"Lelouch..." Lelouch starts to slide off his lap and Suzaku catches him with an arm slid around his waist, hand gripping tight around his hip. Lelouch bites his lip and winces when his cock rubs against Suzaku’s again, the friction just a little too much, his nails digging into Suzaku’s shoulder where he’s holding onto it. “Forget it.”
"I've wanted to see you all day. You're always here,” Lelouch explains, his voice soft and sincere in a way Suzaku hasn’t heard it sound in months. He can feel the half moons of Lelouch’s fingernails imprinting themselves into his skin as he speaks, tiny craters in his shoulders that he’ll wear for the next few hours after they’re done. “I figured this was somewhere you couldn't get away from me."
Suzaku sneers. He supposes Lelouch deserves points for honesty, for finally telling the truth about something for once but he’s more frustrated than anything.
"Manipulative as ever," he scoffs, but he knows Lelouch can feel the way his fingers dig into his skinny waist, the way every muscle in his body goes tight for just a moment and they both know Lelouch has him. No matter what he’ll try and say, no matter how much he’ll try and tell himself he doesn’t want it, whether he’s trying to punish Lelouch or himself he wants it, wants the way they slot together like they’re fated to be that way, two halves of an awful whole. His cock is hard as it rubs up against Lelouch, leaking precum onto his bare thigh, the hem of his pristine white robe...he’ll have to have it dry cleaned, Suzaku knows, but Lelouch smirks like he likes that before he leans forward to kiss him.
It’s one Suzaku doesn’t respond to at first, not until Lelouch licks at his bottom lip and then Suzaku’s hand threads up until it’s fisted in the silky strands of Lelouch’s hair, keeping him there as he responds in earnest: slipping his tongue between Lelouch’s smooth lips and deepening the kiss, clinging to him like his life depends on it. He shouldn’t be this way anymore, but he can’t help it, can’t help that today, in these moments, the love and the lust is stronger than the hate.
"That, I'll never deny," Lelouch concedes as he runs his hands up Suzaku's chest, fingers flicking over a nipple and smirking when Suzaku tenses, letting out a low whine of a moan. "But it's hardly manipulative to wait for you here, is it?"
"That depends," Suzaku says, breath catching in his throat just slightly as Lelouch adjusts his position and rocks his hips, grinding against Suzaku’s eager cock. "Are you here to try and get me to do something I don't want to do? Remind me I’m your knight, command me?"
Lelouch leans in close, pressing his face into the side of Suzaku's neck and kissing the tanned skin at the hollow of his throat. "I'm here because I want my lover to fuck me," he whispers honestly, voice ragged and raw already. "Nothing more, and nothing less."
The directness is a new development from Lelouch, from whom Suzaku is accustomed to sweeping speeches, dramatic details and long-winded wordplay. Lelouch is known for dancing around the point before he arrives at it and to hear him say it, to hear him so blatantly, bluntly admit it turns him on, makes his cock twitch against Lelouch's thigh. Lelouch knows it, feels it, and glances down, pleased at how obscene the sight is: his knight with legs spread and cock jutting up proudly from a patch of coarse, dark brown hair, flight suit down around his calves and so eager for him. Suzaku’s face burns.
Lelouch takes Suzaku's hand in his own, flicking the top off of the bottle of lube and drizzling some on Suzaku's fingers, smirking at him as it drips down over his own. Suzaku takes the hint, tugging Lelouch's robe up and out of the way before sliding his fingers down the cleft of Lelouch's ass. He likes the way he shivers and expects the way he tenses, accustomed to every nuance of Lelouch’s body after the countless times he’s touched it. Suzaku moves to kiss him this time, breathing in the gasp that bubbles up out of Lelouch’s throat when Suzaku slips a finger inside. Even as much as he wants it, as much as he trusts Suzaku, there's still a low hiss of pain as he accommodates it, a roll of his hips that's instinctive, that pushes Suzaku's finger deeper and makes his eyes flutter. Lelouch isn’t great with pain, never has been; has always been Suzaku’s physically frail little foil, delicate and soft in a way even if he’s become a monster.
Lelouch responds with a lube-slick hand around Suzaku’s cock as encouragement, palm fisted tight around it as he looks up at him from under his curtain of hair, lips parted and eyes pleading as he nods almost imperceptibly. Suzaku doesn't need to be told twice, doesn't need any more reason than that to work another finger inside, scissoring them to work him open. It’s easier to loosen him up now; he's relaxed and he's rewarding every motion of Suzaku's fingers with a rock of his hips and a twisting jerk to Suzaku's dick, clever fingers swiping over the sensitive head. His cock is leaking all over Lelouch's hand, he knows it, and he can't get over the way Lelouch is looking at him, already eyes cloudy and every part of his body asking for more.
Suzaku keeps one hand at Lelouch’s hip to balance him but the other moves to the nape of his neck, sliding around to his throat and fiddling irritably with the collar. Lelouch shakily brings a hand up, trying to undo the thin metal clasp hidden just under the detailed gold stitching. It slips and slides in its catch but stays clasped, and in one sharp, impatient tug Suzaku breaks it, parting the fabric and exposing Lelouch's vulnerable neck, flushed slightly with the exertion and arousal. When Lelouch scoffs quietly and shakes his head Suzaku knows he'll hear about his impatience later, but he can't help the insatiable urge to latch his mouth to the juncture of neck and shoulder and bite. Lelouch has such a pretty neck, soft and swan-like and even as he’s kissing it he thinks of all the times he’s wanted to break it.
Lelouch lets out a soft hiss when Suzaku's teeth indent into his flesh, the sound turning to a soft whine when he sucks, laves his tongue across the bruise he raises. He adds a third finger to the two inside Lelouch, sinking them in up to the knuckle and spreading them, loving the way Lelouch's grip tightens on his dick, the way his maddeningly perfect nails dig into his shoulder. Lelouch sags against him, loses his balance just slightly and when Suzaku catches him he nods a thanks, grinning lazily when he doles out a generous amount of lube onto Suzaku's dick. It's more than necessary, really...downright messy in a way that's almost unlike Lelouch but in one smooth motion he slicks him up entirely.
Lelouch gasps when Suzaku's hand travels to his own cock, gives a few perfunctory jerks and his voice wavers, shaky but no less audible as he orders "Now." Lelouch is easy to position, easy to move him where he needs him on his lap to get his cock up in him. His body is seemingly weightless as Suzaku balances him, positioned perfectly: knees bent, thighs nestled around Suzaku's, legs spread and ready for him. He’s not particularly patient when he enters him, spreading him open on his cock in one easy slide into his slick, eager hole.
He's pretty sure Lelouch isn’t mad, though. Certain he doesn’t mind the way his hands are on his ass, fingertips digging in. Suzaku realizes he'll probably have bruises, five tiny, dark spots on each side and he loves the idea of that. Lelouch's face is a glorious mix of pain and satisfaction as he’s filled with too much, too fast; his teeth biting into his lower lip as he stifles the groan and hangs his head against Suzaku’s already-sweat slick shoulder. His hands have both gone to hold on tightly to Suzaku, thumb digging painfully into his collarbone as he grips tightly as the other tangles in the messy, sweat-damp curls at the nape of his neck.
"Is that all?" Lelouch taunts breathlessly, laughing as he’s raising his gaze to meet his and for a moment, there is blind rage and the sweet sharpness of pure lust. Suzaku pulls him tighter against him and changes the angle, slides the rest of his cock home in one strong thrust. Lelouch's eyes go crossed and it's all the willpower Suzaku has in him not to let go right there, not to just end their illicit little knightmare encounter with an orgasm right then. He fucks him sharp and rough, nothing particularly gentle about it and nothing at all elegant in the way Suzaku thrusts up into him. Lelouch plants a hand on the back of the pilot's seat to anchor himself as he rocks his hips to feel Suzaku deeper, to feel his knight fuck him harder and it takes him a few clumsy movements to get a rhythm going, to really ride Suzaku's dick like he wants. Like everything Lelouch does, he gets it right despite the way he’s already a shaking mess, matches his own movements to Suzaku's eager thrusts and there’s something erotic about that imperfection that Suzaku hates himself for finding endearing.
It's been too long. They’ve done too much. Suzaku is angry and hurt and confused and head over heels above all else, in a bizarre sort of purgatory between love and hat. It all comes rushing out, goes into the rhythm of his hips, bucking upwards, shoving deeper into Lelouch than he swears he's ever been and Lelouch makes a strangled sound. It’s something between a sob and a sigh of relief and even still, Suzaku pauses, ducks his head to look him in the eye even though he knows Lelouch would deserve it if it was too much. Lelouch refuses, burying his face in Suzaku's neck and he can feel him swallow heavily. Can feel him breathe; inhale, exhale (adjust) before he turns, serpent tongue softer, looser, sweeter as he whispers “More.”.
It's different this time. For days Suzaku has been Sir Kururugi, "my knight", or the ever awful, impersonal "you", nothing more than a subordinate, but for a few moments he's Suza again, a childhood nickname that Lelouch had always called him. Things are different and Lelouch's hair is soft against his neck, tickling his nose when he turns to bury his face against him, to silence his grunts into the top of his head as he fucks him.
After a while Lelouch isn't moving himself any longer, hands clinging to Suzaku's shoulders and trusting his knight to set the pace, his voice a steady stream of morepleasesuzaku as he presses a handful of tiny, feverish kisses to Suzaku's neck and sweaty shoulder. Suzaku knows he's tearing up because he always does, when he gets fucked like this). He likes that, makes sure he has him held tight before snaking a hand down between them and jerking Lelouch's cock in tandem with his thrusts. It’s with a desperate, beautiful moan that Lelouch's hips buck up of their own accord and he comes, splattering Suzaku's stomach with sticky strands of it and Suzaku doesn't last long after that, slamming home with one last, eager thrust as he lets go, spilling hard in the tight warmth surrounding him.
Lelouch is a sight for sore eyes when he straightens back up from where he'd collapsed against him. Messy hair, half-lidded eyes, a lazy, sated grin on his swollen lips and a neck peppered with hickeys. In these moments he is less Suzaku’s enemy or his emperor and more the boy he fell in love with so many years ago. He’s looking at him like he's never seen a sight as sweet and Suzaku feels too many emotions all at once, staggering under the weight of them. Lelouch gasps when he relaxes and Suzaku's cock moves inside him, softening but no less of a presence.
Softly, in the few moments he’s weakest he reaches almost blindly for Suzaku's hand and holds it in his own. Suzaku watches their fingers intertwined; Lelouch’s thin, pampered hands laced with his own that have seen such hardship. They don't speak for a few moments, only watching each other as they come down from it, chests heaving and sweat snaking in rivulets down Suzaku's bare chest. Lelouch can still feel a quiver in his thighs as they're clutched snug around Suzaku's waist and Suzaku feels like just the squeeze of Lelouch around him could get him up again in a bit if he’d just let it.
“So tell me, Suzaku,” Lelouch pants, wiping the corner of his mouth and brushing his sweaty hair out of his face, returning to the perfectly composed Lelouch he knows. “Are you still angry with me for waiting for you here?”
Suzaku scoffs and gingerly tugs Lelouch’s robe back down so it hits at mid-thigh, the jewels clinking against one another and making him hiss when the cold metal comes in contact with flushed skin. He’s still inside of him and has no desire to change that, too transfixed in the tight heat around him and the way Lelouch looks so fucked out. Softly he shifts him so Lelouch can cuddle up against him the way he had when they were young and laying in the grass outside the shrine, whispering so they didn’t wake Nunnally up and even though every part of him is screaming to remember everything Lelouch has done and every lie he’d ever told, he can feel Lelouch’s heart beat against him and that feels like home.
“I wasn’t really mad in the first place,” he admits quietly. “I just come here to think. Oddly enough, it calms me down, even after all the horrible things I’ve-”
Lelouch silences him with a thin finger against his lips. “Don’t. Not right now. Just...relax. For once.”