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Albus was jolted out of his sleep by the cacophonous sound of a piano chord. It was muffled, both by the closed bedroom door and what he thought was a weakly, or improperly, cast Silencing Charm, but it still made his ears sting. He would admit that he had relatively little understanding of the art of music, though he took pleasure in listening to it, but he had often heard it said that it could be seen as a window into another person’s soul. He shuddered a bit to think of what kind of broken soul could make such a wrenching sound.
At the same time, as the last vestiges of sleep fluttered away, he reached out, only to realise that the other side of the bed was empty. He frowned and glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering if he had overslept. But it was barely even half past four in the morning, not even time for the sun to have risen, and yet the cold sheets told him that Gellert had been gone for some time.
Another crash of discordant notes, this time sounding like the roar of drums clashing with the screech of a violin, sent Albus leaping out of bed and scrambling into some clothes. He grabbed his wand from the table as he flew out of the bedroom and down the stairs. It only took him a moment to realise that the noise was coming from the sitting room, so he slowed his steps and opened the door very carefully, edging inside and looking around. But the sight that greeted him was one that he could never have prepared himself for.
It was not the sensation of chaos and distress that permeated the room and hit him with such heat that he could almost taste it. Nor was it the upturned tables, ransacked bookshelves and broken ornaments. Albus was, after all, more than accustomed to signs of uncontrollable magic cast in times of great anguish, and the mess was quickly cleaned up with a couple of cleaning spells. Similarly, the violent melody was carefully muted until all that could be heard was the very faint whisper of a series of broken piano chords.
But it was when he looked up at the windows that his heart truly shattered. The curtains had been wildly flung apart and Gellert was curled up in the windowseat, his hair tangled all over his face and his arms wrapped tightly around his body so that his fingers were digging into his legs. His back was turned so that Albus was not able to see his face and he was staring fixedly outside the window.
A hot wave of guilt cascaded through Albus’ stomach, and he had to close his eyes for a few beats to collect himself again. He knew that he should have realised what was going on immediately; it was hardly the first time that this had happened, after all. He could not say how, or why, he had slept through it, but he cursed himself for his lack of awareness. Still, he knew that he could never walk away now. His partner was right there, clearly shaken and terrified, and Albus knew he had to try and help him.
Quietly, he closed the door and moved towards the window, keeping his steps slow and careful. But he had barely made it halfway across the room when, almost unheard through the wild instrumental mess that had once again started to rush through the air, Gellert let out a gasp of agony. His entire body was shaking, even as he clung to himself as though he were afraid he might otherwise fly apart. But it was that sound, that lone note filled with an aching terror, that forced Albus to cross the room as fast as he could, desperate to reach out and offer whatever comfort he could. But just as he moved to rest his hand on Gellert’s shoulder, the sight of his lover’s face froze him mid-movement.
Gellert’s eyes were fixed on the outside, but his gaze was blank and unfocused as though he could not see what was happening before him, but was instead caught in his own mind. His expression was filled with terror and suffering and silent tears streamed from his eyes, cascading down his cheeks, though he made no move to brush them away. His breath was still coming out in harsh and ragged gasps, but only silent and unspoken whispers passed his lips.
Albus quickly flicked his wand, now bringing forth a cool silence to surround them once again. He then gathered up a soft blanket from the back of the sofa, scrambled up into the windowseat and wrapped it around them both, letting his fingers curl into the tangled tips of Gellert’s hair as he did so. Gellert’s head whipped sharply around at the sensation, fear and confusion whirling in his eyes, but Albus did not hesitate. Instead, he cradled Gellert’s hands in his own, drawing him very carefully towards him and wrapping him in his arms. He held him close to his chest, feeling his heart racing as terror left him gasping and choking on his tears. There were no words Albus could think of that would help at this moment, so he whispered a well-chosen spell and the peaceful rhythm of a flute began to cascade through the room, encircling them both with its silver symphony, as gentle as the moon.
Eventually, the tremors shooting through Gellert began to slow down and he lifted his head, blinking wetly as he looked around. “Al...Albus?” he whispered, reaching out to touch Albus’ face. “Are you there?”
“I’m here.” Albus covered Gellert’s hand with his own and brushed a kiss over his wrist. “I’m right here, Gellert. I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.”
Immediately, Gellert’s shoulders drooped and he let out a long and tearful sigh. “Thank Merlin,” he whispered, pulling Albus towards him and pressing his forehead against his chest. “Sorry if I woke you up...”
“You didn’t,” Albus assured him, still stroking his hair. “I wish you had though, you shouldn’t have been on your own in this state.”
“I thought I could handle it,” muttered Gellert. “You know, with the music and...” he swallowed hard. “But it wasn’t right, the vision was too strong. I couldn’t control the chords like I usually can. It was so harsh and loud and...and it wouldn’t stop.”
“It’s stopped now.” Albus rubbed his back and shoulders. “Listen, can you hear it? It’s calm now, you’re safe. I’ve got it under control, it can’t hurt you.”
“I can’t breathe, Albus!” Gellert clutched at Albus’ shirt, his nails almost ripping at the fabric. “It’s choking me and it burns - get me away! Please, just get it out!”
“All right, all right.” Albus waved away the spell, silencing the flute music as he helped Gellert to his feet and kissed him on the forehead. “Come on, I’ve got you, just focus on me. Can you tell me what you need?”
“Air,” croaked Gellert, seemingly fighting to inhale. “I need...I need clear air...”
“Come on then.” Albus wrapped the blanket tightly around Gellert and led him through the kitchen and out of the back door, pausing only to Summon a glass of water. He conjured a piece of cloth and laid it on top of the dew-soaked grass for them to sit on. Already, he thought Gellert seemed calmer, leaning against Albus’ arm as they watched the dawn starting to break, shooting small drifts of pink and gold through the weakening darkness.
“Better?” Albus asked eventually.
“Much better,” said Gellert quietly. He linked their hands together and smiled sadly. “I didn’t mean to -”
“Don’t apologise. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of.” Albus stroked his hair back and helped him take a few sips of water. “Can you talk about it?”
“I am not certain that I should,” admitted Gellert, chewing on his lower lip. “You have been so tired yourself recently. It was why I tried to deal with it myself. I didn’t want to cause you any more stress.”
“No, Gellert,” said Albus firmly. “Don’t do that. If something is bothering you, no matter what it is or what else is going on, you can always tell me. I told you that when you first told me about your visions, remember?”
“I want to tell you,” whispered Gellert. “I do, Albus. But this is so much bigger - you don’t understand...”
“I know.” Albus nodded. “I don’t understand - no, I can’t understand what you go through when this happens, not really. But that has never meant that I don’t care.” He brought Gellert’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently. “You can tell me anything. I won’t judge you.”
Gellert rubbed his other hand over his face. “All right, but I warn you, it is not pleasant.” He drew a deep breath. “There was a fight happening, a duel. You and I were both there, but we weren’t fighting each other. There was someone else there too, I don’t know who it was, the vision wasn’t clear enough. But...Merlin, Albus, there was so much anger and hatred in the air, I almost felt sick with it.” He stopped and swallowed convulsively several times.
“Take your time,” Albus whispered, their hands still entwined.
“There were spells going everywhere,” Gellert forced out. “Powerful spells. Whatever was going on, we were all duelling, if not directly to kill, then at least to cause true harm or injury. It was insane, Albus. I admit, I might have found such dangerous power beautiful had it not been...” he stopped and another shudder ripped through him, “had it not been for what happened next.” Then, without warning, he crumpled in on himself, arms wrapped around his stomach and his eyes screwed shut as though he were in terrible pain.
“Gellert!” Albus darted forwards to catch him and pulled him back into his arms. “Gellert, it’s all right. Just try and breathe with me now. I’ve got you, I’m not going to let you go. You’re safe with me, I promise.”
“I don’t know where it came from,” Gellert choked out. “One minute it was just us fighting, and the next...it was so strong, Albus. So strong and so dangerous. Nothing could stand in the way, not - not even you.” He looked up again, his eyes wide and strangely dark in his pale face. “I heard a scream and I tried to fight my way over to you, to protect you. But it was too late. I watched you fall and I caught you right before you hit the ground, hoping, even praying, even though I knew it would make no difference. I screamed for help, begged for it, but no one came, no one heard me. They left me, Albus; left me to hold you, left me to feel your skin go cold, to watch the life leave you...” Suddenly, he threw himself out of Albus’ arms and turned away as he dry-heaved into the grass.
“Oh, Merlin, Gellert.” Thoroughly shaken and heartsick, Albus leaned over again to rub his back and brush his hair off his face. He wrapped himself around Gellert’s spasm-wracked form, pressing one of his freezing hands against his own chest, right over his heart. “Feel that,” he soothed, “it’s beating under your hand, isn’t it? You can feel it, can’t you?” He waited for Gellert to nod weakly. “I’m safe, love,” he murmured, letting the terrified boy collapse against him. “I’m alive and I’m right here with you.”
“No, Albus,” cried Gellert, even as he clung on, “what I Saw...I don’t think I have ever see one like it. An Obscurus, I mean. And...and I think I recognised her...I knew her...we both did.”
Albus started. “We knew her? But how could you? I don’t see...” but then he saw Gellert’s eyes trail past the garden and across the road until they were fixed on a house - one that Albus knew only too well. “No,” he whispered. “Gellert, you’re not saying, you can’t mean,” but the words wouldn’t come.
“Who else could it be?” asked Gellert tiredly. “I hope she isn’t the one, I truly do, but we both know what she is, Albus. We both know how dangerous she can be.” He sat up a little unsteadily and placed both his trembling hands on Albus’ shoulders. “I know she’s your sister and I know how much she means to you, Albus, but if your life is at risk because of her -”
“No!” Albus almost shot back in horror, but caught himself just in time. He looked around and lowered his voice. “Gellert, I know you’re frightened and I don’t blame you at all for that. I cannot even begin to imagine how it must have felt to have Seen what you did. I wish you had never been forced to go through that. But killing Ariana?” He shook his head. “No. We cannot do that, not without bringing the entire Ministry down upon us. Not to mention, if Aberforth found out, he would certainly retaliate without mercy.”
In spite of himself, Gellert scoffed. “I would like to see him try.”
“Don’t underestimate him,” Albus implored. “He might not be the most refined or cerebral, but I do admit that he is more than capable of handling himself in a fight. Even, sometimes especially, when he gets angry.”
Gellert immediately went pale and stiff. He turned sharply, his mismatched eyes blazing almost dangerously, but his voice was eerily calm. “Albus,” he said slowly, “has he ever...?”
“No.” Albus was quick to reassure him. “I think he might have been tempted to sometimes, but he never has. But I do think that the only way he would is if I raised mine against Ariana, no matter how justified it might be.”
“That’s what I thought,” muttered Gellert. “But I was not going to say that she should die. What sort of a message would that send? We kill those who are different because we fear them? That would make us no better than the Muggles who oppress us.” He sighed and pulled his fingers through his hair.
Albus flinched back, a little stung. “I didn’t mean -”
“I know you didn’t. But you and I both know that is how others will see it, and then what we stand for could never be trusted.”
“So...what are you suggesting?” Albus tilted his head. “What can we do? As far as I know, there is no cure for what affects her.”
“There must be,” insisted Gellert. “Somewhere, there must be a cure. And we will find it. We can bring her back, give her a chance to live as she should have. For her sake, and...” he sighed, “and for mine. I know that’s selfish, but I don’t care. I can’t watch you die.”
Albus took Gellert’s hands in his and stroked his wrists. “Some might say that the future as you See it cannot be changed,” he said quietly.
“Maybe not all of it can. But I will not accept that this time.” Gellert’s expression turned slightly wild again. “Not when it concerns you. I will not let this become real. I will not lose you.” He let a ragged breath and turned away, staring fixedly at the slowly reddening sky.
Albus ran his hands over his face and breathed in deeply. His brain felt as though it was weighted down with the gravity of everything he had seen and heard over the last several minutes. Of course, when he had been pulled from his sleep by that terrifying shambles of a piano chord, and when the significance of it had sunk in, he had known that something serious had happened. Still, he had not anticipated anything of this magnitude and, not for the first time where Gellert’s visions were concerned, he felt more than a little out of his depth. At the same time, he knew that whatever he was feeling could not even come close to how his partner felt at having to bear witness to such a terrifying future. Hearing about it had been harrowing enough; he wasn’t sure he would have been able to cope with seeing it play out in front of him.
He wondered, as well, if Gellert was right and there might be a way, somehow, for Ariana to be helped, a chance for her to live the normal life she deserved. A chance, if he was honest with himself, for him to prove that he did care for his sister, and that he was trying to help her in the only way he knew he could. But more than that, a way to ensure that what he had just been told could never come true, and that Gellert would never have to hold his dying lover in his arms while pleading for help that would never come. He might not be especially worried for himself, but that grief, that terrible feeling of being torn apart forever - that was something that Albus would not wish on his worst enemy, never mind someone he loved.
A nervous hand on his shoulder made him jump and he turned around to see Gellert looking at him with a mixture of concern and confusion. Hastily, Albus shook away his maudlin thoughts and squeezed Gellert’s hand, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
“Come on, let’s go back inside before you catch a cold. You’ll freeze out here.” He wrapped his arms around Gellert, who was still trembling a little, and guided him back inside, rubbing his shoulders as they walked.
“Thank you,” whispered Gellert, once they were back inside and Albus had gotten a fire going. “I don’t think I can sleep right now, so...can we just stay here for a little while?”
“Of course we can.” Albus turned to kiss him softly. “Whatever you need. Maybe, do you want to read something? Or we could carry on with -”
“No, no.” Gellert shook his head. “Right now, I just...I need to stop thinking.” He caught Albus’ wide-eyed gaze and his mouth twitched slightly. “No, I didn’t mean like that. I mean...” but he couldn’t seem to finish the sentence before he closed his eyes tightly, a spasm of pain shooting through his face. “Help me...” he whispered, “Albus, please...”
“I’m here,” Albus assured him, pulling him close. “I’m not going anywhere.”
A shiver shot through Gellert and a lone tear slipped down his cheek. “I meant what I said out there. I cannot lose you.” He swallowed hard and turned to look Albus straight in the eye. “Albus, when I’m with you, I feel alive. Before, I felt as if I had been asleep for centuries, buried in darkness and smoke. Everything felt so cold and dead. But then I met you, and I realised that I didn’t have to stay that way. That I wasn’t alone. There was someone there waiting for me who understood me.”
Albus nodded. “I know. I felt it too.”
“But I can see now it’s not just that.” Gellert’s eyes dropped and he drew out a sharp breath. “There’s more. Something I already knew, but never wanted to admit, because it scared me so much.”
“Hey,” Albus whispered, running his hands over Gellert’s arms. “You don’t have to be scared. I could never let anyone hurt you.”
“I know. That is what frightens me so much. Albus, don’t you see it? It’s when I’m with you, when I’m here in your arms...that is the only time I feel safe. Not just safe from others, but...safe from myself.”
“I am not afraid of you.” The words came out before Albus could think about them, and yet he knew that they were true. “I trust you with everything I have, Gellert. And I hope that you can trust me as well, because I swear that I will not let anyone, be they friend or enemy, harm you. You have changed my life in ways I cannot even begin to explain. I will not walk away from you, or give you up for anything.”
“Sometimes I think meeting you might be both the best and the worst thing that could have ever happened to me,” admitted Gellert. “I never thought I could find someone who I could share so much with, who could even try to understand me the way you do. But every day...every time I wake up, I know that, if I was to lose you, if you were forced away from me, it would take away a part of me that I could never get back.”
“That is never going to happen,” Albus assured him. “I choose you. Always.”