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Insomnia

Summary:

The reader has insomnia and Loki wants to help her/him/them get better, tea is shared and fluff ensues.

Notes:

Writing is my outlet//

Since I suffer from insomnia that had been getting worse I decided to write about it as a way to deal with it. //

Work Text:

You sighed heavily as you flung the heavy warm blankets away from you to get up, they had stopped feeling comfortable a while ago, the heat was too much. It was one of those nights again, sleep was calling to you and you desperately wanted to answer the call but it was useless, you had spent the last two hours trashing around in your bed, trying to get comfortable, trying to find rest, trying to sleep, it didn't work, it hardly did anymore. Perhaps it was a good thing, you were sick of the nightmares, sick of waking up even more tired than before, sick of the memories that would haunt you whenever you managed to fall asleep. With a sigh you slowly exited your room, it was too dark in there, too lonely and quiet. The corridor was empty, moonlight was shining in from the polished windows and illuminated the floor in light glow. You creeped through the kitchen, you opened the cabinet and to your surprise there was a pack of your favorite sweets left, after Thor discovered his love for them a few days ago you feared to never get to eat them again. Joyfully you unwrapped the goodies and put them in your mouth, you always had a sweet tooth, sweets tended to make you feel better and that's exactly what you needed right now.

After you had eaten about five of the treats you casually began walking around with the bag in hand, if you were awake anyways you might as well find something to do, you considered going to Tony's gaming room but weren't in the mood for video games, maybe the spa but that would take a while to prepare so you settled on the library, at least there you could get sucked in a different world. You opened the door to the library and felt at peace almost immediately, the calm, warm atmosphere felt like a soft blanket that engulfed you, the scent of book and the faint lemon polish for the expensive dark wooden furniture mixed together pleasantly. Books had always been a escape to you, as a child they were your greatest source of joy, you had always been the quiet, shy loner and that hadn't changed through puberty nor adulthood. Tony had made it his personal mission to remind you of your shyness and naive nature, you didn't mind, it was all in good fun and the team always praised you for your hard work. Your fingers grazed over the backs of a variety of books, thrillers, fantasy, history and romance novels, you had read most of them already and switched to the next row of books.

"My, my, aren't we stealthy, sneaking around at this hour". You jumped and spun around, Loki stood behind you, a sly grin on his face. Your hand was clutched over your beating heart and you smiled back at him, you did enjoy a good scare every now and then. "Hello Loki, it's good to see you too". He chuckled and gestured over to where he had been before he snuck up on you. "Perhaps you'd like to join me my dear? The tea kettle is almost full still and I definitely wouldn't mind your company". You beamed at the offer, even though you had known Loki the shortest of all the Avengers, he quickly became your best friend. You both preferred the solitude over crowds, you had similar hobbies and you were more than willing to show him Midgardian culture, in exchange he told you tales of his times as Asgardian prince. Perhaps over the time your feelings towards the trickster turned from friendship to attraction, well to be fair you had always found him attractive but after getting to know him, the real him, not the tough cold liar he portrayed himself as, you couldn't help but fall in love with him. What you weren't aware of was that Loki very much held the same feelings of affection towards you, you had been one of the first people to actually give him a real chance, your kind nature drew him to you, never would he have thought that he'd find someone so much like him yet so beautifully different.

"Would you like some tea darling?". Warmth spread through you at the term of affection and you nodded. After Loki poured your cup he picked his book back up, a collection of various poems that he had already read halfway through, he was a fast reader after all.

For a while you both sat in comfortable silence, Loki continued reading while you munched on the sweets, occasionally sipping on the warm tea in your cup, the warm liquid felt great running down your throat and soothed your still frazzled nerves. "Do forgive me the question my pet but, why are you awake? I don't mean just tonight but rather generally, I don't recall a single day that you haven't looked tired, is there a reason why you can't sleep my dear?" The silence that followed his question was heavy, Loki knew of your sleeping problem but never actually asked you about it, he didn't want to pry into the life of someone he rarely knew at the time but since you two had grown so very close he assumed you'd be comfortable telling him. Instead of answering the lingering question you decided to stare at your lap, thoughts ran through your head, would he laugh at you? Tell you to stick it up? Call you a cry baby or see you as weak? Of course rationally you knew that Loki wouldn't think lowely of you but you were never good at telling people your problems. "I'm..I'm scared of falling asleep". Lokis eyebrows rose at that. "I'm sorry love but I fear that I don't quite understand". He closed his book and leaned forward, you had his complete attention now and you didn't know if you should be grateful or ashamed for that.

Your thumb rubbed along the smooth ceramic of the tea cup as you tried to think of a good explanation. Hesitantly you turned to look at the dark haired Asgardian, your eyes met his and your heart warmed at the genuine interest and care in them. "Everytime I fall asleep, I get nightmares..memories or horrible possibilities, they haunt me Loki, I can't sleep through the night and I'm even more tired after I wake up!". Tears started to gather in your eyes, no one on the team knew exactly what caused your insomnia, you refused to tell them, it was your burden to carry but it got too much to handle on your own. Your strong facade shifted right then, the cheerful and bright attitude that brought smiles to the Avengers faces cracked and you finally broke down. Loki stood up from his chair and walked over to you, you had only noticed his shift in position after you felt his arm drape around your shoulder, he pulled you towards him and that's when the tears poured down your cheeks.

"I don't know what to do anymore Loki, I'm scared to be in that dark lonely room, I just want to sleep, I'm so god damn tired!". Sobs wrecked through your body as you cried your heart out. All the frustration, sleep deprivation and anxiety that had been chewing on your psyche for quiet a while now came all crashing down upon you all at once. For about ten minutes, or what felt like hours to you, Loki held you while you cried into his side. His hand gently ran up and down your side soothingly as he let you release all the build up emotions that collected over the past year. "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to cry, god I'm such a whimp." You sniffled, frustrated at yourself for getting emotional like that, you knew Loki wasn't the most comfortable with people sharing their emotions with him, he must have grown sick of comforting you by now but to your surprise you felt a gentle cool hand grasp your chin, tilting your face upwards to meet a pair of calm blue-green eyes. "First of all my dear, don't ever apologize for crying and secondly, never, and I mean never, speak lowly of yourself again. It hurts me to see you cry". He moved his thumbs over your still wet cheeks. A lump formed in your throat as the two of you held eye contact with each other, this was somehow the most intimate moment you had ever shared with him.

"I don't think you understand how much you mean to me darling". Your eyebrows knitted in confusion and suddenly his face was mere inches from you. The tip of your ears turned red as you watched him uncertainly, he had never acted like this before. He adjusted his posture so that his nose was brushing against yours."Have you not noticed my love? You're so dear to me, if you'll let me I'll too gladly be there for you in nights like this, I'll hold you until you'll feel safe enough to go back to sleep again."

A smile began to form on your face as you reached your hand up to place it over Loki's, mindlessly stroking the back of his hand with yours. His eyes looked into yours again as he moved forward again, this time you did the same, the two of you met halfway in a loving kiss, with his free hand he gently pushed the back of your head towards him to deepen the kiss. You felt blissful, happy that the feelings you developed for him were mutual, as the kiss deepened you wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled against his lips. All too soon he pulled away from your lips to look into your eyes again. The genuine happiness in his green orbs made your heart flatter with love, his next move was a bit surprising as he picked you up bridal style, ignoring your yelp of protest. He kissed the top of your head as he carried you out of the library and towards his room.

He unlocked it and shut it back behind him. Lokis room was similar to yours in size, in terms of decour it was more simple, a huge book shelf, a desk, wardrobe, mirror, bed side tables and of course a king sized bed that he insisted on. The colour scheme of his room was green with black or dark wood, it reminded you of a forest at night, you liked it. Loki lowered you onto the bed and in a moments time replaced his Asgardian armor with a plain green shirt and black sweat pants. Confused on what was going on you were about to open your mouth but that was cut short by Loki lifting the blankets up. "Well, get in my dear, I told you that I'd help you sleep didn't I?". His grin was mischievous but playful so you immediately crawled under the soft blankets, Loki soon following up, as the two of you adjusted so that the god was the big spoon you realized that you were actually at peace, despite the occurrences you felt comfortable, safe and even a bit tired. Loki's arm wrapped around your waist, his head rested on top of yours and he gave you another peck. "Goodnight my love". He mumbled into your locks, a smile stretched onto your features, you shut your eyes and snuggled backwards to be closer to the man behind you. "Goodnight Loki."

That night you slept uninterrupted and thoroughly it was the calmest you had felt in a long time. As the rays of sunshine hit your face and made you open your eyes you felt refreshed, the headache was gone and you felt light in a way, the best part though was that yesterday wasn't a dream. To say that waking up to the god of mischief wrapped around you was pleasant was a huge understatement. With a smile you basked in the fact that from now on you wouldn't have to face your nights alone anymore.