Archive of Our Own

The loud music was banging in the big hall and the lights were flickering. BTS were on an after party of some award show. They usually didn’t attend these events, they preferred to celebrate calmly together but from time to time they went to the party, especially when there were other idol groups that they were friends with because this was one of few opportunities they could hang out with them due to their packed schedules.

The party was held in a huge hall of some hotel and most of the groups had rooms upstairs. These kinds of parties got usually pretty wild because idols didn’t have many opportunities to blow off the steam so when something like this happened, it was a mess. There was alcohol everywhere, even some weed and cigarettes and everyone was hooking up with everyone, fucking in the rooms or just bathrooms.

Jeongguk was with Yugyeom and Bambam basically the whole evening. He wasn’t huge party animal, he preferred to just chat and drink, he wasn’t one to hit the floor, unlike Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung who were dancing wildly with drinks in their hands.

Jeongguk was currently on his fifth beer – the light beverage didn’t do much to him, he had quite high alcohol tolerance since he started really working out and had muscles to burn it in – and his gaze was slipping to the dance floor. He laughed when he saw Hoseok spinning some female idol around and gagged internally little bit when he saw Jimin making out heatedly with some other girl. His attention was mostly on Taehyung though. He wasn’t doing anything but he was dancing with Baekhyun, getting a bit too cosy from time to time with his hands on his hips and shouting something in his ear. He’s been always a bit jealous when it came to Taehyung. He didn’t know why but whenever he saw Taehyung being too touchy with someone, it was leaving an ugly feeling in his stomach. But he shrugged it off and turned his attention back to his two GOT7 friends.

Taehyung pouted when Baekhyun announced that he was going to sleep and just left him. But well, being the social butterfly he was, he easily started dancing with other people. He was watching Jimin from a corner of his eye, a jealousy filling his body. Not that he’d be jealous of Jimin but he was jealous that he was getting some. It’s been a while since he had any physical contact with another human being other than some hugs and cuddles and he just really wanted to get laid. He was a healthy guy in his twenties, sue him for being horny.

A cute guy invited him for shots. Taehyung didn’t even know him, he was pretty sure that he was several years younger but he didn’t care. Although, he wasn’t really keen on fucking someone tonight, not that he’d mind topping but he just felt like being pushed and held down by someone strong and fucked senseless. That is what he needed, he needed to shut down and let someone take the lead. But he went for the shots anyway, anything was better than nothing.

Turned out that the guy was just being nice, that Taehyung was his idol and that he was straight and didn’t really wanna do anything. So Taehyung was left by a bar, alone again, just a bit drunker this time.

His face lit up when he spotted a familiar face just few meters from him. He made his way towards Jeongguk, stumbling drunkenly little bit, throwing himself at his dongsaeng.

“Well, you’re shitfaced,” Jeongguk laughed, wrapping his arms around Taehyung since it looked like he was about to fall.

“I need to get laid, Jeonggukie,” Taehyung whined.

“Well, then you should find someone, I am not gonna help you with that,” the maknae laughed again, entertained by his friend’s behaviour. He was fairly drunk now as well but it had nothing on Taehyung.

“Mm, why not?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, running his hand through his hair that was currently dyed green.

“Dream on,” Jeongguk snorted. They were making these kinds of jokes often, often saying how they should just fuck together since they were so close and had no time for relationships or hook ups. It was working for Namjoon and Seokjin after all and even though they were saying that they had never done anything together, the rest of the group knew better. There were literally no secrets in the group and it wasn’t a secret that the leader and the oldest were really close, sometimes a bit too much.

“Let’s get some shots then!” the older exclaimed, waving at a bartender and ordering drinks that were for free the whole evening.

“I think you should slow down,”

“I am your hyung, Jeonggukie, so fuck off,” Taehyung glared at him but then giggled.

“You act like my dongsaeng most of the times, don’t even try to deny that,” the maknae gave him an intense stare and Taehyung felt his throat going dry. Sometimes Jeongguk just had this look in his eyes that was making it hard to ignore the fact that he grew up into an insanely hot guy. He wasn’t a little kid anymore and Taehyung knew better than anyone that Jeongguk wasn’t innocent, despite what half of the fandom was thinking. In the past couple of years, Jeongguk had probably more hook ups than the rest of the group combined, probably the Golden maknae charm or some shit. But looking at it objectively, Taehyung wasn’t really surprised that people were throwing themselves at Jeongguk from all sides.

“Well, cheers then,” Jeongguk’s voice brought Taehyung back from his inner monologue and they downed their shots.

They got two more and soon they were on a dance floor. Jeongguk usually didn’t dance and when he did, he was already drunk and someone dragged him to the dance floor and well, Taehyung was really hard to say no to.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s waist, bringing him closer as their bodies were moving to some upbeat song.

“God, Jeonggukie, I just really wanna get fucked tonight,” Taehyung sighed almost dramatically. The maknae froze for a second after hearing the confession and his drunken mind started taking him into dangerous places. The fact that Taehyung didn’t want to fuck someone but wanted to get fucked by someone was messing with Jeongguk’s imagination. He never really let himself think about it but right now, when alcohol was running through his system, the images of Taehyung lying on a bed or leaning against a wall, pliant and moaning were flooding his mind and that was not good.

“Have you ever been fucked, Gukkie?” Taehyung leaned closer to him, looking at him with a playful expression. He knew Jeongguk wasn’t really picky, he was hooking up with girls and boys, whoever he wanted to. They’ve had a lot of late night conversations about different stuff since they were best friends.

“Not really, never tried it so I can’t judge but I am not really interested to be honest,” Jeongguk shrugged.

“Of course not, our Jeonggukie is a top,” the older snickered but he wasn’t really surprised. Knowing Jeongguk like he did, he couldn’t really picture him as a bottom, the guy liked control too much and his physique and strength were only helping this whole thing.

“Well, you don’t know what you’re missing on. There is just something so amazing about giving up control and getting fucked until you can’t think straight or being in the lead and drive guys crazy and tease them as you fuck yourself on their dicks,” Taehyung continued, looking almost pensive. Jeongguk didn’t know what image was better – Taehyung being completely submissive, being fucked into the sheets or being the teasing little shit he could be sometimes, being a power bottom. He quickly chased those thoughts away.

“God, you have always been so good in hip thrusts,” Taehyung bit his lip, looking at Jeongguk with hooded eyes as he put his hands on the maknae’s hips.

“You know, Jeonggukie, we could help each other out. It wouldn’t be a bad thing, we are friends, what could happen?” Taehyung shrugged but put the topic aside finally.

The night was progressing at it became a blur for both of them. They were dancing and doing occasionally shots, sometimes with their members that they met and sometimes alone. They were both fairly drunk but they were having a great time so they weren’t thinking about any consequences.

Two hours later, the two of them stumbled into Taehyung’s hotel room, kissing furiously as soon as the door closed behind them. If you asked Jeongguk how they ended up here, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, he had no fucking idea how the things came to this from their conversation and doing shots but Taehyung’s lips felt actually really damn good on his so he pushed any doubts aside.

Five minutes later, they were lying on the bed, shedding their clothes quickly in between the kisses. They were both panting and their boxers were getting tighter as they felt each other’s hands on their hot bodies.

Ten minutes later, Jeongguk was gripping Taehyung’s hips, thrusting into him from behind as the older was lying sprawled over the bed sheets, fisting the soft material and deep moans and groans were leaving his lips. His mind was dizzy with alcohol and arousal and every sharp thrust into his body felt so good and was sending him slowly towards the edge. His mind was almost blank, this is exactly what he needed – a mindless and hard fuck and Jeongguk and his glorious hips were providing him with just that.

After a while, Jeongguk flipped Taehyung over on his back and thrusted immediately back inside, making them both moan in unison. They found each other’s lips, kissing sloppily, as the maknae picked up his speed, pounding into Taehyung with everything he’s got.

When they separated, he was watching Taehyung who was lying there with slack jaw and eyes shut close, green hair spread over the pillow and Jeongguk briefly thought that this was a sight to behold.

“Fuck, so close,” Taehyung practically whimpered in much higher voice than his normal speaking one and that alone sent shivers down Jeongguk’s spine. The younger took the hint and wrapped his right hand around Taehyung’s leaking cock, jerking him off in time with his powerful thrusts. He fucked him with his remaining powers, chasing both of their releases.

It ended as fast as it started. Taehyung was the first one to trip over the edge and came with a loud cry over his own stomach. Jeongguk’s air was almost knocked out of his lungs when the older clenched so tightly around him, he let out a deep groan, his hips stuttered and he filled the condom, buried deep inside Taehyung.

They shared a lazy kiss for a minute, panting and coming down from their heights and then Jeongguk quickly cleaned them both up. Soon after, they both fell asleep side by side.

Jeongguk woke up the next day when the sky was still dark. The clock on the bedside table read six in the morning and his head hurt like hell. He forgot to drink some water before going to sleep and he knew he will be suffering the whole day.

He was a bit startled by a shuffling next to him and when he looked to the side, his eyes widened as memories of last night came to him. He was just staring at a very naked Taehyung for couple of seconds in complete shock, cursing himself for what happened. He couldn’t believe that it happened, they fucked, he fucked his best friend.

Remorse immediately started flooding his body and he couldn’t stay in the room any longer. He quietly got up, found his clothes and dressed up. He looked over at Taehyung one last time before he sneaked out like a coward. Fuck, this shouldn’t have happened, they really fucked up. It was a mistake.

Jeongguk was really fucked up after last night. Thankfully Taehyung didn’t come for the breakfast but they eventually had to reunite since they were leaving the hotel soon.

He couldn’t believe what happened. They were best friends and there have always been boundaries that weren’t meant to be overstepped and he regretted it. He was worried that things would be awkward between them and that it would take them some time to go back to normal and he never wanted that with Taehyung. He was his best friend and he didn’t want any gap between them. They definitely needed to talk about it and just try to put it behind, yeah, that was the best ideas, Jeongguk decided.

They got to their dorms in the evening, everyone exhausted because the party last night was really wild for everyone. Travelling with hangover was just horrible, they all hated it. Hoseok nearly puked in the plane but thankfully he managed to avert it.

Jeongguk was standing nervously in front of Taehyung’s room, ready to knock. He really didn’t want to have this conversation but the sooner, the better. He was really fucking bad at talking, well, about basically anything but awkward conversations were absolutely the worst ones but Taehyung didn’t seem to come first so he decided to initiate it.

He knocked and entered after Taehyung called him in. The older was lying in his bed, already in pyjamas, ready to go to sleep. Jeongguk noticed during the day that he was in a pretty bad shape, he knew that his hangovers could be really bad. He almost felt sorry for him and left but then he realized it was just his excuse to avoid the conversation and instead kicked himself mentally and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, um, about last night…” Jeongguk started but Taehyung interrupted him.

“It was really wild, wasn’t it?” Taehyung groaned.

“Yeah, that is why I’m here,”

“I don’t even remember how I got to my room, did you lead me there?”

“Wait, what?” the maknae looked at his friend with surprise. He wasn’t sure if he was fucking with him.

“I remember doing shots and then nothing, completely blank. I woke up in my hotel room, completely naked with clothes all around. I am pretty sure I hooked up with someone if my sore ass is anything to go by,” Taehyung whined: “Really great, I got laid and I don’t even remember it, all for nothing.”

“Um , yeah it was a wild night,” Jeongguk chuckled awkwardly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he should tell Taehyung the truth but was it really necessary? Maybe this was the best outcome, Taehyung didn’t remember what happened between them so they could just move on. Jeongguk would eventually forget about how Taehyung looked under him and how he sounded – somewhere at the back of his mind he also knew that this was bullshit, that picture was probably engraved in his brain forever – and things wouldn’t be weird. The last thing he wanted was for him and Taehyung to be uncomfortable around each other so he decided to not tell him anything.

“I am surprised you could function today,” Jeongguk laughed, changing the topic.

“Yeah, me too, my head is killing me despite taking painkillers,” the older groaned.

“Well then you should get some sleep, I’m gonna go,” the maknae got up quickly as if he was afraid that Taehyung’d have some sudden realisation.

“Night, Gukkie,” Taehyung called out after him.

“Night, Tae,” Jeongguk replied without turning back. He got out of the room, leaning against the door, letting out a deep breath. Yeah, this was for the best. That night was a huge mistake and digging into it and reminding Taehyung would help nothing. They were just gonna go with their lives and everything was going to be alright.

*

Everything was not alright. Jeongguk didn’t really want to admit it to himself but something about the way he saw Taehyung changed. The fact that he saw Taehyung’s orgasmic face and felt his skin under his fingertips wasn’t helping. He was worried for a while that the older would eventually remember what happened, that happened sometimes, that people started remembering small pieces after a hangover but it didn’t seem like it. Taehyung was acting completely normal around him and even though he was a good actor, Jeongguk doubted that he could hide something like this from him, he dared to say that he knew Taehyung pretty well.

Jeongguk became super aware of everything Taehyung was doing. Was he always this touchy with everyone? Probably, but Jeongguk never paid much attention to it.

They were currently in the dance studio, having a break before returning back to work and Taehyung was in the corner, fooling around with Jimin and Hoseok. The two older guys were annoying him with tickling to the point when Taehyung almost couldn’t breathe as he was laughing hard. He was writhing on the floor and he met eyes with the maknae, who was sitting few meters away from them.

“Jeonggukie, save me, please, my only true friend, fuck,” Taehyung wailed with tears of laughter in his eyes, stretching out a hand towards him.

“Sorry, you’re on your own,” Jeongguk shrugged, trying not to be swayed.

“Please, Gukkie, I beg you, I am gonna pee my pants soon,” Taehyung cried out in between the fits of laughter. Jeongguk sighed but he couldn’t take it anymore. He’s always had a soft spot for Taehyung and something in him was always screaming to protect his youngest hyung because even though Taehyung was older than him, there was just something vulnerable about him.

So Jeongguk got up and made their way to the trio, grabbing first Jimin and throwing him away and then also Hoseok. Taehyung breathed out in relief and clang to Jeongguk’s legs, hugging them. The maknae bent down and picked Taehyung up to his feet and the green hair man hugged him.

“You’re my saviour, Gukkie, you are the only real bitch I respect,” Taehyung mumbled against his neck as Jeongguk automatically hugged him. He felt something stirring in his stomach as he was holding Taehyung like this, knowing that the older was safe now, even if it was just a stupid tickle attack.

“Stop being dramatic and let’s get back to work,” Hoseok said eventually, getting up. The rest of the group followed him to the middle of the room but Taehyung clang to Jeongguk on the way there and let him involuntarily go when they had to stand in their positions.

Jeongguk would never admit it out loud but he felt an uneasiness settling in him when Taehyung’s arms left his body.

*

Jeongguk tried, he really did. He tried his hardest not to think about that night but it seemed like universe just hated him, putting him in situations that were reminding him of it.

More than once, Jeongguk bumped into Taehyung in the hallway of their dorm when the older was freshly out of shower. His skin was still glistening and it was flushed from the hot water and a towel was hanging low on his hips, revealing his skin. Jeongguk was always left flustered, making Taehyung look at him weirdly.

Other times, Jeongguk caught himself staring at Taehyung through the large mirror in the dance studio when the older was slightly panting, lips parted and eyes hooded which was a painful reminder of how he looked that night.

Whatever Jeongguk did, he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Taehyung looked under him, all fucked out and desperate, filthy moans spilling from his lips.

Jeongguk found himself subconsciously seeking Taehyung’s company even more than before, always wanting to be by his side. He hardly ever initiated any skinship but it wasn’t needed because Taehyung always did and he felt himself relax and go restless at the same time when Taehyung started running his fingers absent-mindedly through his hair or cuddled to his side when they were sitting on a sofa.

When Taehyung was with other members or some of their stuff, laughing and touching, Jeongguk could hardly force himself to look away and stop clenching his jaw.

Taehyung was giving him looks sometimes, they’ve been friends for years so he noticed there was something off about Jeongguk but he never mentioned anything. He’s always loved the maknae’s company and affection so if Jeongguk was by his side often, he wasn’t definitely complaining.

One evening, Jeongguk was just chilling in the living room. The other boys were either in their rooms or in the studios or somewhere out. He was just on his phone, scrolling lazily through twitter when Taehyung came in, dressed up to go out.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jeongguk looked at the older nonchalantly.

“We agreed on going out with some the Hwarang hyungs. We haven’t seen each other for months and it worked out that most of us are in Seoul so we decided to meet up,” Taehyung smiled as he was putting an earring in but he couldn’t find the small hole without a mirror.

“Here, let me help you,” Jeongguk got up from the sofa, coming to Taehyung and taking the earring from him. He felt an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach, knowing that Taehyung went out with his actor friends but he tried to ignore it. Instead he busied himself with putting the earring in the other’s ear.

“Is everything alright?” Taehyung asked quietly as Jeongguk was scrunching his nose in focus, staring at his ear. He could feel his tension as they were standing only couple of inches apart and he was suddenly a bit worried. Jeongguk’s been acting strangely in the past weeks and he was worried that maybe there was something that was troubling his friend and he felt suddenly bad for not asking and leaving to have fun.

“Yeah, everything’s great. I think I’m gonna go hit the gym,” Jeongguk hummed as he finally put the earring in its place. He didn’t step away from Taehyung, remaining close and looking him in the eyes. Taehyung felt a tiny prick in his stomach under the maknae’s gaze so he coughed awkwardly and looked away.

“Have fun, Tae,” Jeongguk said eventually but Taehyung could feel a bit of coldness in his voice. He knew that the group was always a bit jealous of his friendship with the Hwarang hyungs (as if someone could ever be more important to Taehyung than them) and Jeongguk’s always seemed to take it the worst.

“You have fun in the gym,” the older eventually said. He knew he was a coward, he should press on Jeongguk more but he felt uneasy for some reason so he just chose to run away.

Jeongguk flopped down on the sofa with a sigh when he heard the front door closing behind Taehyung. He lied about wanting to go to the gym but now when he thought about it, it wasn’t a bad idea. He could definitely blow off some built up tension in his body and working out was a great way.

He ate something and changed into his workout clothes and left the apartment in almost ten p.m. He preferred working out at night when the gym in their apartment complex was usually empty and over the years of having busy schedule during the day, mornings and nights were the only times he could really do it anyway.

He lost track of time completely, working out on different machines until his muscles were sore and sweat was glistening on his back and forehead. He liked working out with music on so he had headphones and that is why he didn’t notice at first that someone came in.

“Shit, you scared me,” Jeongguk yelped and clutched his chest when he noticed a person by the door. He pulled out the headphones, looking at Taehyung questioningly.

“You know what time it is?” Taehyung asked with a small smile.

“Not really and I don’t care,” Jeongguk huffed and gulped down a whole bottle of water.

“I came home a while ago and noticed you aren’t there so I came for you, otherwise you’d stay here till morning,”

“You don’t have to baby me around, Tae, I can do whatever I want,” Jeongguk replied with a bit of annoyance. He knew Taehyung meant well but after all these years he was tired of the others still treating him like a child sometimes. He was in his twenties now for fuck’s sake, he could take care of himself.

“I am not trying to baby you, I just care,” the older said quietly and Jeongguk felt suddenly guilty for being such an ass. He was frustrated with his thoughts he’s had lately and he was letting his frustrations out on Taehyung.

“How was your night with the hyungs anyway?” the maknae asked without really a big care as he got up to rub a towel over his sweaty body.

“Um, it was fun,” Taehyung replied slowly with a bit of a raspy voice. Jeongguk looked at him and noticed he was staring at him with wider eyes than usual.

“Well, I am sure it was fun, it always is with them, right?” Jeongguk mumbled, barely audible.

“Aw, Gukkie, are you jealous?”

“No? Just…whatever,”

“Come on, let’s go back upstairs,” Taehyung said eventually, sensing the thick air between them. He didn’t understand what was going on with Jeongguk but he was a coward to ask. He didn’t know why, he never had a problem with pulling things from Jeongguk, making him speak about anything.

Jeongguk lied down in his bed later that night, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t know why he was so irritated that Taehyung was having fun with his other friends. Hell, he was irritated even when he had fun with the other members. But just the thought of Taehyung being cosy with someone was making his skin crawl, he couldn’t shake off those memories of how Taehyung’s skin felt under his hands, how his lips felt on his, how good he felt around him.

He shook his head to get rid of those dangerous thoughts. He groaned, it was getting really exhausting, it seemed like no matter what he did, he always went back to that night in his mind and he suddenly wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse that Taehyung didn’t remember anything. Briefly, Jeongguk thought that he’d really like to repeat it before he drifted to sleep.

*

Jeongguk decided to keep his distance from Taehyung. He wasn’t happy about it because he felt the urge to be as close to him as possible but he knew that he was in dangerous areas for the past weeks so distancing himself from the older, at least until he got rid of those damn thoughts, was the best thing he could do.

Taehyung noticed pretty soon that his dongsaeng was suddenly distant. He was confused at first when Jeongguk started seeking his presence more and now he stopped talking to him completely, except for when they worked obviously. On cameras, Jeongguk was treating him just the same as always but once they were turned off, he just took off. Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was avoiding only him or also the others because he’s been spending most time alone, sulking in his room or somewhere in the company building.

One day Taehyung just snapped. He knew it wasn’t the best timing since they were just minutes away from starting an interview but when he pushed a chair closer to Jeongguk and the maknae pulled back from him, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“What the hell happened, Gukkie?” Taehyung hissed.

“What are you talking about?” the maknae blinked innocently.

“You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been sulking on your own, ignoring me and the hyungs, but well, mostly me. Hell, you haven’t come to me for two weeks to play a video game! That hasn’t happened since we were trainees,” the older talked quietly since they were not alone.

“Everything’s fine, Tae, relax,”

“Don’t tell me to relax,” Taehyung pointed at him: “Just please, if there is something bugging you, just tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well, this is not something I can talk to you about, hyung,” Jeongguk retorted, using the honorific which made Taehyung cringe internally because Jeongguk only ever used it when they were on cameras and he called him usually V anyway.

He wanted to fight back and say something more but a camera director shouted that they start in a minute. Make-up noonas came running to them, making last adjustments to their make-up and Taehyung groaned internally in frustration. He didn’t know what the hell was going on but he’d be damned if he didn’t get it out of his best friend.

*

Jeongguk felt shitty about ignoring Taehyung but that was the only way he could deal with this whole situation. The night was a huge mistake and he sometimes envied that the older didn’t remember anything because those memories were still hunting him. But it wasn’t only about the sex per se – which was amazing – but about the feeling of Taehyung in his arms and that was probably even worse. He couldn’t feel about Taehyung that way, they were just friends and they were in the same group and if something bad happened between them, it could tear the whole group apart. Any romantic relationships with tight co-workers were just a huge no in Jeongguk’s perspective.

Taehyung however had none of that. He was sick of Jeongguk ignoring him, not only because he wanted to know what the hell happened, if there was something he did wrong but he also missed him. They have always been so close and now he missed all the little things he and the maknae were usually doing or talking about.

They were preparing for a comeback and when they returned home, they were all exhausted. But one evening when they finished a dance practice a bit earlier, Taehyung went to take a quick shower and when he made sure that all the members were in their rooms, he went to confront Jeongguk.

He knocked shortly because he still wanted to respect his privacy but slipped inside his room after couple of seconds, closing and locking the door behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Jeongguk looked at him with wide eyes, slightly panicked, when Taehyung leaned against the door, glaring at him.

“I came here to find out what the hell is going on with you and I am not leaving until you give me the answers!” Taehyung got out through gritted teeth.

“Let it go, Tae, seriously,” Jeongguk sighed.

“No, I am not leaving until you tell me what’s up! I am worried about you, Gukkie,” Taehyung looked at him with pleading eyes and Jeongguk softened.

“I am sorry that I’ve been worrying you and ignoring you, okay? It’s just…there is just something that I have to deal with on my own and I promise that when I do that, you will be the first one I come to but now, I just need to be alone,” the maknae said. He felt really bad for how he was treating Taehyung and it was driving him crazy because he missed him so much and wanted to be with him but when he was with him, it was even worse.

“Did something happen? Did we fight on that after party or what? I noticed that you were different after that night,” Taehyung didn’t stop.

“Oh my god, let it go please!” Jeongguk groaned in frustration.

“No! We are gonna be here until you tell me the truth and I don’t care if we are gonna be locked here for days! Just tell me, Jeongguk!”

“Okay, you wanna know what fucking happened?” Jeongguk snapped. He really didn’t want to do this but he just reached his breaking point. He got up from the bed and made his way quickly to the other, startling him by the sudden action. Taehyung’s heart started thumping in his chest as Jeongguk came face to face with him, putting one hand next to his head so he was practically caged by him.

“Do you know what happened? You said you don’t remember anything but that you woke up naked and hooked up with someone. Well, I was the one who went up with you. We slept together, Tae!” Jeongguk nearly groaned. Taehyung was just staring at him, processing the information. In the past couple of weeks, he’s seen some imagines in his mind, images of Jeongguk. Sometimes it was like he could feel his lips against his so vividly, his touch, the way he looked at him. But he thought that they were some remains of some freaking wet dream he had about his group mate. Now it was all making sense, they were not just images, they were memories.

“Why didn’t you tell anything?” Taehyung got out eventually.

“Because it was for the best,” Jeongguk sighed: “I thought it was a mistake and wanted to talk about it so we wouldn’t make a big deal of it and move on and when I found out that you don’t remember, it was like a blessing. But then it turned out to be a curse.”

“Why?” Taehyung breathed out, not able to tear his eyes from Jeongguk’s. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer because he had an idea what it’d be but at the same time he wanted to hear it so badly.

“Because no matter how hard I tried I just can’t stop thinking about it,” Jeongguk groaned in frustration: “It is driving me fucking crazy because I know I shouldn’t think about it and I sure as hell shouldn’t want it to happen again. That is why I distanced myself from you, to forget about it and eventually go back to normal.”

“Do you…” Taehyung got out quietly, stopping for a second: “Do you really wanna stop thinking about it? Or do you wanna do it again?”

Jeongguk’s hand clenched into a fist where it was resting against the wall next to Taehyung’s head, his jaw clenched as well and it looked like he was fighting some internal battle.

“You know what I think about right now?” the maknae looked at the older intently.

“What?”

“Right now I think about how fucking much I wanna kiss you, how much I wanna do what we did that night,”

Taehyung got out a shaky breath. He knew that all of this was fucked up in a way but there was just something that was pulling him towards Jeongguk. He had just couple of clouded memories of that night but he knew he wanted to relive it. He knew he should just turn around, open the door and leave right the fuck now but as Jeongguk’s eyes were boring into his, that was the last thing he wanted.

“Then do it,” Taehyung said quietly.

“What?”

“Do what you are thinking about,” the older said louder.

There were couple of seconds of silence, they were just staring at each other with intense eyes and then Taehyung was parting his lips at the same time as Jeongguk surged forward, kissing him hard. They both gasped as their lips met and their tongues immediately connected in almost desperate way. Jeongguk gripped Taehyung’s hip with one hand while the other went to cup his cheek and Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s waist to bring him close.

They only separated for couple of seconds to catch a breath but dived back in immediately. Their tongues and teeth were clashing together messily as their minds were slowly clouding. All doubts they both had were slowly dissolving.

It all went really fast from there. They stumbled to Jeongguk’s bed until the maknae fell on the mattress, pulling Taehyung with him so he was lying on him. They were both gasping in between the kisses as their bodies were rubbing together but it soon wasn’t enough.

Taehyung pulled back to take off Jeongguk’s t-shirt and as soon as the skin was revealed, he started running his hands over the defined muscles, kissing him again.

Jeongguk unbuttoned Taehyung’s shirt with shaky fingers, pushing the material from his shoulders.

Soon they lost their pants as well until they were only in their underwear. Taehyung adjusted his position so he was now straddling Jeongguk’s hips, grinding his hips on the maknae’s crotch which earned him a low groan from him.

They were grinding together for a while, still kissing, until they were both straining against their underwear.

“Where’s the lube?” Taehyung looked at Jeongguk when he pulled back.

“Here,” the brunette replied breathlessly, reaching into a bedside table, taking out a small bottle on condoms. He put them on the bed beside them, looking at the older: “How do you wanna..?”

“I don’t remember much from that night but I know you fucked me good, I wanna remember it this time,” Taehyung said without missing a beat.

“That’s fine with me,” Jeongguk chuckled, lifting Taehyung up little bit to get rid of both of their underwear. He first rolled a condom on himself so they wouldn’t have to care about that later. Then he coated his fingers with the slick substance and warmed it up little bit.

Taehyung was still lying on top of Jeongguk so the maknae wrapped an arm around his waist to keep his steady while he sneaked his other hand behind his back.

“Fuck,” Taehyung whimpered when Jeongguk circled his entrance slowly. He’d be embarrassed of how desperate and fucked out he already sounded but when he saw the hungry look in Jeongguk’s eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Jeongguk prepared Taehyung one finger by one, kissing him to help his relax. The older was coming apart with every new finger and when Jeongguk’s found his prostate, he buried his face into the maknae’s neck to muffle a loud moan.

“That’s enough, come on,” Taehyung whined, shoving Jeongguk’s hand away. He then sat in more comfortable position, taking hold of Jeongguk’s hard length. He looked him in the eyes, teasing the tip against his entrance and said: “Wanna ride you, Guk.”

“Yeah, come on, babe, ride me,” Jeongguk nodded breathlessly and his mouth opened in a silent moan when the older unexpectedly sank down on him almost in one go.

“Holy shit,” the brunette groaned when Taehyung was fully seated, rolling his hips to adjust.

“Fuck, of course the Golden fucking Maknae would have a big dick,” Taehyung laughed breathlessly with his head thrown back. Jeongguk gripped his thighs to touch some part of him, looking up at him. Seeing Taehyung in this position was definitely something and he knew that if it was already hard to get him out of his head before, now it will be practically impossible.

Taehyung finally started rocking his hips, gasping at the feeling of being so full and so deep. After a while, he lifted his hips to slowly sink back down, making them both moan. He repeated the slow action for a while until Jeongguk got impatient and snapped his hips up as he dropped down.

“Oh fuck,” Taehyung moaned and started bouncing on Jeongguk more vigorously. After a minute, he was riding him like there was no tomorrow while the younger was thrusting up. Taehyung’s leaking cock was bouncing against his stomach with the powerful thrusts and his thighs were burning with effort but he’d be damned if he stopped now because it felt so good.

“God, right there!” Taehyung groaned in a deep voice, eyes rolling back in his head and he had to brace himself against Jeongguk’s chest when the length in him brushed over his prostate. Jeongguk took the cue and planted his feet against the mattress to thrust up into Taehyung harder and faster.

“Fuck, don’t stop, oh my god!” the older wailed as his sweet spot was being abused and he started clenching around Jeongguk.

“Shit, Tae,” Jeongguk moaned, close to the edge. He still had enough consciousness in him to wrap his hand around Taehyung’s cock, jerking him off.

Taehyung’s body jerked as a pleasure shot through his whole body and it pushed him closer to his release.

“Fuck, Guk, gonna come,” Taehyung got out breathlessly, looking down at the maknae with glossy eyes, eyes sticking to his forehead with sweat.

“Me too, fuck,” Jeongguk nodded, biting his lip. It felt so fucking good and the way Taehyung looked right now was just making his stomach tighter.

Taehyung collapsed down on Jeongguk and let the younger fuck him while he searched for his lips. They kissed sloppily and it took Jeongguk only couple more thrusts before he let out a groan into Taehyung’s mouth and filled the condom deep inside him. His hand was still working on Taehyung and hips fucking up to prolong his orgasm and bring Taehyung over the edge. That happened only seconds later. Taehyung bit on Jeongguk’s bottom lip hard, digging his nails into his biceps as his body froze for a second and he came between their stomachs.

They stayed like that for a while, trying to catch their breaths. When they came down from their heights, it was like the whole situation finally hit them.

Taehyung lifted himself up from Jeongguk’s spent cock and moved to lie on his side beside Jeongguk. They were just looking at each other for a while before the older moved to get up. He grabbed some tissues to wipe off his come from his and Jeongguk’s stomach, they’d go get a shower in a while anyway.

“What did this mean to you?” Taehyung suddenly blurted out.

“Um, I…I don’t know,” Jeongguk admitted: “But it meant something.”

“I think…I think there are things we both need to think of,” the older suggested: “I know that if we decide that this was just some slip that we will go back to normal, it’s not such a big deal. But I think that…maybe we need some time to think about if we wanna ignore it or not.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Jeongguk nodded because he knew what Taehyung meant. They both seriously needed to think about all this. Somewhere deep within himself he already knew what he wanted but it was scaring him and have some times to think some more wasn’t bad.

“Okay, well, um, I’m gonna go,” Taehyung got out a bit awkwardly. He stood there next to the bed, looking like he was contemplating something. Then he decided and bent down to kiss Jeongguk. It was short and it didn’t have the previous heat but it still left their lips tingling.

*

They took their time thinking about what happened. It was clear since that night that it wasn’t just sex, if that was the case, they wouldn’t have to think about it at all and just go back to normal.

Jeongguk, however, stopped avoiding Taehyung and they quickly slipped to their previous routine, spending a lot of time together, doing the usual stuff. Sometimes they were sharing lingering touches and after the intimacy – that they now both remembered – their dynamics changed little bit. Their hyungs didn’t notice anything because there wasn’t really anything that usual about their behaviour.

It was almost a month since that second night when Taehyung finally decided they should talk, at least to find out where they both stand at the moment and if they need more time to think about it. He sneaked into Jeongguk’s bedroom at night when everyone was already in their rooms.

“Hey,” Jeongguk looked at him with wide eyes.

“Hey, so um, I was wondering how the thinking is going?” the older asked and walked over to the bed where the maknae was sitting and sat opposite from him with crossed legs.

“Honestly, I am really confused but like…I know that there is definitely something, that it wasn’t just sex,” the younger admitted.

“Yeah. I mean, the sex was amazing but if it was just about sex then there wouldn’t be any issues,” Taehyung sighed: “I just…we’ve always been really close and you know I love you a lot but I’ve never really thought about you in any other way than just a friend.”

“Me neither,” Jeongguk nodded: “Or more like, I never allowed myself to think about you more than just a friend I guess.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I think…that something has always pulled me to you and it is really hard to tell what exactly it is but with everything we’re doing and who we are, it was just easier to ignore it, I guess,” the older shrugged: “But now, after that night, I can’t forget about it. Not just the sex but like, all of it. I-“ he stopped himself, not sure if he should open up so much but then decided to just be honest and go for it: “Honestly, I’ve never felt like that with anyone before. It was just, I don’t know how describe it, it felt almost-“

“Desperate,” Jeongguk finished for him.

“Yeah,” Taehyung breathed out, feeling a curling in his stomach because Jeongguk knew exactly how he felt, because he felt that too.

“We’d have to discuss and figure a lot of things out but…if you were up for it, I’d…I’d try what it’d be like to be together, where it takes us…” the maknae bit his lip. He knew that he sounded like an awkward teenager but he honestly didn’t know how to voice his thoughts.

“I’d like that,” Taehyung admitted with a small smile: “I have no idea what will happen and maybe we will find out soon that there is nothing and that it was just a good fuck and move on…but I’d really wanna try to find out if it was something more.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk nodded.

“Okay,” Taehyung repeated, gulping. This whole situation was just weird but he also felt an excitement bubbling inside.

They were looking and smiling at each other for a while, until Taehyung shuffled closer and Jeongguk brought him for a kiss. It was slow and sensual but it felt better than the heated kisses they shared. At that moment, they didn’t know what will happen but they knew that it felt right.