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Your eyes - blue, like the ocean, I think I will drown if I stare for too long - open to see the cruelty of this lifeless world, in which no kindness is ever seen and children suffer from the decisions of the - oh so selfish - adults. All your blue gems find is a ceiling, an unknown one - do you miss my room's ceiling? Or when all we had for ceiling was the starry sky? - and unsatisfied with such a depressive view, you let your eyelids hide your soul again. You roll and roll on your bed - in which we once sat together and talked about hope - but the sweet peacefulness brought by sleep won't come to you.
I know what you ache for. You wish to slip into a state of unconsciousness, for only when you fall asleep we can be together. You may wonder why that happens - in fact, I can tell you're on the verge of asking every time - but you also know that an answer is not needed. As long as our hands are within each other's reach - your tanned hands, delicate in the way the skin maintains its perfect softness as long as you don't do hard work - we will be happy, even if just for the short life of a dream.
It may seem not enough -it is not enough indeed, when I want to be with you all the time - but every second is priceless and worth the wait. Oh my beloved Shinji, I yearn for you to come to my plane of existence - which only exists because you wished for it to exist, you wished for me to be here, and your godly will is what moves our world - but I will wait for you to fall asleep, like I always do.
A thousand lifetimes of dying over and over is nothing compared to the moments we spend together - those in which you feel happy and safe, loved and understood - and I don't mind the pain of leaving you each time, as long as I get you see you again - and again, and again - always waiting for a life in which we will be happy and it won't end.
Finally, I can feel your presence here - closer, come closer - and soon I can see you as well. I smile at you - knowing that you can see right through me, all my love for you too much for my heart to hold, spilling into my eyes and reaching for your soul - and to my greatest satisfaction, you smile back - shy, so shy yet also so full of love - and walk to where I stand. You call my name along with a greeting - my name turns into the most beautiful melody when it comes from your lips, so tender and full of meaning only because it's you who is calling it - and of course I greet you back.
If only I was physically by your side... As much as I appreciate being here, I miss the feel of my hands on yours - our skin revealing secrets that our brains are too shy to share - and I miss making you smile just by being around.
This is not enough, because you aren't fully happy yet.
I hope luck smiles to us next time.
It's time to wake up, my dear Shinji. I'll see you at night, if you manage to fall asleep.