Chapter Text
"I cannot believe I let you talk me into this."
"It could be worse!" Hanji's voice was loud at Erwin's ear, ringing out even through the trashy techno-country music pulsing through the strip club. "I could've let you spend the evening alone and upset!"
"I suppose so." It was a reluctant agreement, to say the least, though Erwin could do nothing to fight back the little smile flitting across his face.
"If either of us wanted to see sausage," Mike said from Erwin's other side, "we coulda just looked in the mirror. Or just looked down."
"Erwin likes cock," Hanji said, her smile widening when her subject gave a weary sigh. "Betcha he'd prefer this to that!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not really a fan of either," was all Mike said, though, truth be told, he didn't seem to be terribly annoyed at all.
"Well, I wanted you two to come with me," Hanji said next, a brilliant smile on her face as she spoke. "Moblit always gets really shy when I being him places like this, or he tries to avoid 'em out-and-out, and I'm not about to spend my last night before the sabbatical all by my lonesome! I can't come here with just him, or we'd be hiding the whole time!"
Moblit did indeed look sufficiently mortified, tucked against Hanji's side, a brilliant flush over his cheeks, his eyes averted from the stage. It was a tough position to maintain, though, given they had a front-row table, mere feet away.
"You're looking kinda gloomy there, Erwin."
"Am I?" Erwin already knew the answer to that.
"You're really gonna miss me that much?" Hanji asked, leaning against the back of the blonde's chair, bumping their shoulders together.
"Of course." It was the truth.
"It's only for a month," Hanji said next, smiling reassuringly. "That's not that long, really."
"I know," was Erwin's reply, giving as genuine a smile as he could manage.
"It's gonna be weird, not having you around," Mike said, an oddly melancholy tone creeping its way into his voice. "And quiet. It's gonna seem real quiet without you." That tone was soon gone though, replaced with a smug grin. "Might be nice, though, not getting headaches every day..."
"I'm not that loud!"
Mike's smug grin was enough to send the table's lone brunette sulking.
"I don't really like the quiet," Moblit said suddenly, his voice soft enough that only Hanji herself could hear the words. "I'm definitely going to miss seeing -- And hearing -- you around the office."
"At least one of you appreciates me!"
That cry was a little too enthusiastic, though, and poor, unfortunate Moblit soon found himself swept up into a bone-crushing hug. Not that he minded, of course.
"I'm surprised you didn't wanna bring Nile along," Mike said, though the smirk on his face made it apparent he was joking.
"Nile is boring," was Hanji's reply, candid as ever. "Besides, I don't think Mary would've been okay with it in the first place."
"Probably not, no..."
At that moment, the music changed, from computerized mock-country to some sort of bouncy alternative rock, the announcer speaking through the speaker system: "We'll get to see more of Cowboy later, but we have a special guest for now! From our kinky sister club, we present for your viewing pleasure, for tonight only, the Captain!"
It took everything Erwin had to keep the breath from leaving his lungs.
The figure slinking onto the stage was tiny, his lean, lithe figure twisting just so as he walked, trim hips swaying with the movement, working those five-inch heels with practiced grace.
"Wow, Erwin!" Hanji's voice was in his ear again, her tone overflowing with amusement, saying, "I've never seen your eyes that big before!"
"He your type?" Mike asked, taking a moment to eye the little brunette currently working the pole. "He looks kinda scowly..."
"He's definitely my type," was all Erwin could bring himself to say, his gaze never leaving the Captain as he ground his ass against the pole, pale legs spread wide, the tiny leather shorts leaving nothing to the imagination. He was magnificent.
"He is nice-looking," Hanji conceded, smirking a bit, "but he's about a foot shorter than you, isn't he? He's tiny!" She paused for a moment, though, eventually adding, "It's actually sorta cute."
But Hanji was wrong. There was nothing "cute" about him. On the contrary, everything about the Captain screamed sex, loud and clear, from the blue-black fringe over his face, to those dark, hooded eyes, the milky paleness of his skin, the contrasting flush over his cheeks... Jesus, even the way he moved, catlike and beckoning, was utterly alluring. Absolute perfection. He was nothing short of the most tempting person Erwin had ever seen.
Unfortunately, the song soon ended, and Erwin felt his brows furrow, his gaze dropping to his watch. They were planning on an hour or more longer before they left. How dull. Was it even worth staying now?
"Hey, blondie."
That cigarette-rasp of a voice was cause enough to look up, and the breath left Erwin's lungs all over again.
"You look like you got a lotta money," the Captain said, crouched down at the very edge of the stage, legs spread, a languid smirk on his face. "And the way you were eye-fucking me, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you wouldn't turn down a private dance."
"No, of course I wouldn't." The words came out far too quickly, and a chuckle rang from both sides, subdued though they were. Even Moblit gave a soft snicker.
The Captain's smirk widened, and he jerked his head toward the door beside the little staircase that lead up onto the stage. "Come with me," he said, standing, not bothering to look back.
"Go, go!" Hani's half-laughter was at Erwin's ear yet again, grabbing his arm and helping him stand. "Go!"
Laughing at her enthusiasm and Mike's cheeky thumbs-up, Erwin did just that, following the slinky little brunette backstage, past the bald-headed, imposing bouncer waiting cross-armed at the door.
The third door on the left was apparently the Captain's dressing room for the night, and the brunette shut the door tight as soon as Erwin was inside, saying, "Sit," and gesturing to the chair before the vanity mirror.
And Erwin did just that, turning the chair to face into the room, his elbow on the padded armrest, pillowing his chin in his hand as the Captain stepped forward, hips swaying as he moved.
There was a fire in his eyes, blazing hot, and Erwin shuddered.
"Like what you see?" the captain asked, pulling off the military cap that must have been pinned into his hair, given it had somehow managed to stay on his head during his vigorous routine. "You a fan of leather?"
Well, those thigh-high boots and those microscopic shorts were certainly tempting. The gloves, though, were probably the most attractive part of the ensemble, reaching up to just past the elbows, shiny and seductive beyond words. "I suppose I do," Erwin allowed, eyelids falling to half-mast as he spoke. "I never really gave it much thought, though..."
"Most people don't," the Captain replied, his voice heavy and honey-sweet as he straddled the blonde's hips, his hands on the armrests of the chair. "You don't realize until you take the time to get to know yourself."
"You sound like a teacher," Erwin half-chuckled, desperately fighting the urge to reach out and sweep his hands along the pale, muscled figure in his lap.
"I am a teacher," was the response, coming hand-in-hand with a little smirk. "I work at Rouge, down the street, teaching kinksters how to know what they want and how to and function in our fucked-up little world."
"You aren't a stripper, then?" Erwin asked, giving a little smirk of his own, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.
"Nope." The Captains hands were tangled in his own hair now, his hips gyrating as he spoke. "I was bored, and this seemed like fun."
"This is fun?" Erwin asked, doing his best to keep his skepticism from becoming too obvious.
"It's not like I don't dance around half-naked at home," was the brunette's reply, the words accompanied by a come-hither smirk.
"You're charming," was all Erwin said, his voice going husky.
"Believe me, I know." The Captain's hands were on Erwin's biceps then, sliding along the cottony fabric of his suit jacket, asking, "You rich, or just well-off?"
"Just well-off," Erwin said, giving a soft shudder when the little brunette's hips ground down against him. "Isn't it against some rule to touch strippers?"
"I already told you," came that raspy voice at his ear, "I'm not a stripper."
"You're a teacher," Erwin said, his voice breathy, soft, the words struggling to take form, "I know. What do you look for in students, exactly?"
"Well, looks are important." The little brunette's tone was oddly off-handed, though his smirk and the cock of his head made it clear that he was anything but disinterested. "I'm not gonna teach anything sex-related to pigs." He gave the blonde was quick once-over at that. "Pretty sure you meet my standards."
"What else?"
"Money is definitely a plus," the Captain said, hands coming to rest against Erwin's waist, pulling himself as close to the blonde as he could without squishing anything vital. "Speaking of, pay me. A private show isn't free, y'know."
"I figured as much." Erwin gave a weak, forced-sounding chuckle as he went to slide his wallet from the pocket of his trousers, handing over a bill without glancing at it. Let fate decide. "Good enough?"
"A twenty?" There was an odd sort of awe in the Captain's voice as he stared down at the bill still in the blonde's hand. It was soon gone, though, replaced by something much darker. "You know where that goes, yeah?"
"Of course." Erwin's voice was perfectly steady, his hands perfectly still as he slid the bill into its proper place, just beneath the band of those painted-on shorts, his left hand gripping the little brunette's waist and holding him still even as those pale hips rolled tantalizingly against him.
"Big spender, huh?" It sounded half-sarcastic.
"I like to think so."
The Captain leaned back at that, his hands resting behind his back, pressed to the edge of the chair, his hips pressed forward against Erwin's, a smug grin on his face. "You interested in learning about yourself, or do you just wanna get in my pants?"
"It's a little bit of both," Erwin admitted, the smirk on his face weakened by the faint flush tinting his cheeks. "But, honestly, what's the harm in getting to know myself a little better?"
"It'll set you back quite a bit," the Captain said, giving a shrug of his pale, narrow shoulders. "It's a hundred bucks for a session."
"Seems awfully steep," Erwin said, though the lightness of his tone made it clear that he wasn't terribly disturbed by the price.
"It's not steep at all," the brunette disagreed. "What I do is kinda-sorta therapy. I charge a hell of a lot less than an actual shrink would, don't I?"
Erwin gave a soft chuckle at that, conceding, "When you put it that way..."
"Come to the club."
There was a sort of an invitation in that smoke-ravaged voice, though the soft hands at Erwin's waist and the flushed cheek nuzzling his own was invitation enough as it was.
"The first session's free," the Captain added, as if the deal wasn't sweet enough already.
"What's the address?" Erwin asked, his grip tightening against the brunette's hips when he moved to pull away.
A business card slipped into the pocket of his sport coat came with a whispered imitation at his ear: "Hope to see you there."