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Is that too much to expect? That I would name the stars for you? That I would take you there?
(~richard siken)
Dan would have. He loved you, you know. Every night you spent on that L.A. roof together, watching the light-polluted sunset out past million-dollar houses, was a night Dan would never take back. Further than that, think ahead — remember how you stayed there with him and watched the stars pass you by? Do you mind that he named the stars for you? Do you remember their names? Or are they forgotten like— what were you doing an hour before then? You can’t remember why you went out in the first place. Life moves too quickly. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Because life moves too quickly and you got left behind. And it’s too hard to catch up when your partner’s crossed the finish line. So why do you bother any more?
Arin?
An answer will get you on your feet. Why do you bother? Because you want to see him again? Figured. He wanted to take you there, you know. Not to the finish. He didn’t care about the finish, no, he veered straight off track — up, up past it, he wanted to take you to the stars he named for you, he wanted to tour them with you, he wanted to spend the marathon up there instead of the ground you’re on. And that’s valid. Because it can’t end until you cross the finish, and infinity is infinitely more spectacular. But the judge said he didn’t go high enough.
You miss him, don’t you? You don’t even care about the stars anymore.