Work Text:
1.
Jonghyun had known even before Minhyun told him that he couldn’t interact with said male until Wanna One disbanded. It was unfair. Even the sweet and kind Jonghyun knew that it was unfair for them. Nu’est were there first before any of Minhyun’s solo fans even knew of their existence. Although, honestly Jonghyun would do anything if it meant that he could protect Minhyun, even if he couldn’t so much as go out with Minhyun outside of their schedules.
That’s why the leader was caught off guard when he found a certain Hwang Minhyun standing inside Nu’est W’s waiting room, looking entirely like he belonged there instead of anywhere else in the universe. The guy was clad in a pair of leather pants matched with a loose button up shirt tucked in nicely at the hem. His face, gorgeous as ever, seemed like it had finished with the makeup. His usual makeup, Jonghyun noticed. It only consisted of a thin layer of foundation and red eyeshadow, completed with pink lipgloss. Jonghyun wondered if they did anything to Minhyun’s fluffy hair, but he wondered even more about his presence.
“What are you doing?” Jonghyun blurted out from where he was seated on the couch, immediately locking his phone and putting it in his pocket.
Minhyun offered a tight-lipped smile. “Not even an ‘I miss you’? Where are the others?”
Jonghyun pointed at the dressers with his chin, Minhyun’s gaze following its trail. Dongho happened to hear his leader talking to someone and now he’s beaming at Minhyun through his reflection in the mirror.
“Oh look, it’s Minhyun,” Aron greeted, still dealing with his makeup artist.
“Minhyun!” Minki called out excitedly before getting scolded by the coordi noona tending to his outfit for moving too much.
Other than that, Jonghyun realized that there’s not much hype about Minhyun visiting the waiting room. Not even the staff spared another glance at the temporarily away member. It’s natural. Minhyun’s presence was natural. Like the feelings in Jonghyun’s chest when Minhyun took the liberty to sit really close to Jonghyun on the couch.
“Are you even allowed here?” Jonghyun didn’t realize that he was whispering, but he’s fully aware of the distance between them (or lack thereof).
“When you’re in a group of eleven people, the staff won’t miss you much if you decide to go MIA.” Jonghyun glared at the taller male. “I’ve told Jisung hyung, don’t worry.”
Call Jonghyun crazy or too much, but being able to look at Minhyun from such a close distance let alone interacting with him was a luxury nowadays. He couldn’t even keep Minhyun in his peripherals, lest the fans would notice and make a big deal out of it. For once, it’s nice to take a long look at Minhyun without the fans scrutinizing his every move.
“Can you lie down?” was Minhyun’s request (an absurd one) after a few seconds of just staring at Jonghyun’s face.
Jonghyun blinked. “What?”
“Just lie down.”
Jonghyun didn’t know what made him obey Minhyun’s words, but he found himself lying down on the couch. His head was cushioned by the armrest with Minhyun’s lap acting as a pillow for his legs. But then, Minhyun slipped from under Jonghyun and lied down beside him on the noticably small couch. It’s nice, lying down on a couch face to face with Minhyun, feeling their chests pressed against each other. Moreover, having Minhyun’s gaze directed only at him was almost like the best feeling in the world.
“Is this okay?” but Jonghyun knew Minhyun never needed to ask about it.
When Jonghyun nodded, Minhyun circled his arms around Jonghyun’s waist and secured him in a tight embrace.
“What are you—” but it fell on deaf ears as Minhyun rested his head on the crook of Jonghyun’s neck and closed his eyes.
“I need some sleep, but the Parks and Daehwi wouldn’t stop their high note battle. I just—” Minhyun sighed. “I can’t rain on their parade. Is that enough excuse to run away to you?”
Jonghyun hummed, stroking Minhyun’s hair—oh, he had some hairspray on. “Then have some sleep, you only have about twenty minutes before you have to go back.”
Minhyun didn’t have to be told twice before falling into a slumber, all snug in Jonghyun’s embrace—Jonghyun had returned the hug awkwardly with his arms bent in a pretty unusual way, trying to slip them around Minhyun’s torso and pull him even closer. It’s fully accidental that Jonghyun fell asleep with his face buried on Minhyun’s hair. It was probably the most domestic scene anyone could come across in Nu’est W’s waiting room, but nobody could care much since it wasn’t a rare occurrence anyway.
When Jonghyun came to, he was only met with a grinning Choi Minki. No Minhyun in sight.
“I’m saving this for blackmail.” Minki waved his phone screen in front of Jonghyun, showing a picture of him sleeping with Minhyun.
Jonghyun blinked away his sleepiness and just let out a defeated sigh, knowing that the blackmail was harmless anyway.
2.
Thinking that it couldn’t be a bad idea to celebrate Minhyun coming back to the dorm, Jonghyun had agreed to Minki’s idea of holding a surprise party for Minhyun’s return.
The setup in the dorm was nice. Dongho and Aron put themselves in charge of getting the decorations up while Jonghyun helped Minki with the cake. Childishly, Dongho didn’t think of a better idea than a ‘Welcome back loser!’ as the main greeting banner. Jonghyun argued with Dongho about that before deciding to put ‘Just kidding, we love you.’ on the cake icing—because, see, Jonghyun had to be the understanding leader when he knew that Minhyun couldn’t be happy about separating with his brothers in Wanna One even if he could come home to Nu’est.
That’s why when Minhyun came home that night with a tear-streaked face and swollen eyes, everyone knew immediately that he’d been crying. In an attempt to make Minhyun feel better, Minki abandoned the cake he made on the coffee table and just went straight up to give Minhyun a hug. So did Aron. And Dongho.
When Minhyun laughed it off and told everyone that he’s fine, Minki was sceptical. But then Minhyun reassured him with a gentle smile and a pat on Minki’s head, making the latter give up. So they had fun that night trying Minki’s cake and putting on a movie on the living room with mattresses moved from the bedrooms to there.
When all the members had fallen asleep except for Minhyun and Jonghyun, the former crawled to his leader and rested his head on said leader’s shoulder while still staring at the television screen.
“Thank you for all of this,” Minhyun whispered, gesturing to the whole decorated room. “I didn’t go away for that long, you know.”
“This was Minki’s idea.” Jonghyun smiled as he stroke Minhyun’s hair. “And yes, you’ve been away for too long.”
“We still meet at award show’s backstages.”
“They just don’t feel the same, Minhyun.”
“I had to be grateful about just being able to see you guys like that, it’s a luxury for me.”
“Well, now you get to live with us again.”
Minhyun suddenly pulled away and cupped Jonghyun’s cheeks so the latter would look at him. “I will never take you guys for granted ever again.” With all the seriousness in Minhyun’s eyes, Jonghyun thought that Minhyun looked like he’s confessing.
“Me too, honestly.” Jonghyun smiled bitterly.
“Good.” was the last thing Minhyun said before wrapping his arms around Jonghyun’s middle and tackling him to the mattress. “At least now I can cuddle with you outside of waiting rooms.”
Jonghyun giggled when he felt Minhyun tickling him with his nose. The latter then fixed his position as he laid beside Jonghyun, arms repositioned so he’s now hugging Jonghyun’s shoulders.
“Stop tickling me, I swear.” Jonghyun had trouble stifling his laughter as Minhyun had his nose against Jonghyun’s collarbone.
Jonghyun felt himself shiver as Minhyun inhaled his scent from his neck, the latter’s lips grazing just the tiniest patch of skin. It sent his heart into overdrive and it felt like every inch of his body was burning. He passive-aggresively wanted Minhyun to just kiss his neck while at the same time wanting to push Minhyun away and ran to his room.
“Did you change your perfume?” Minhyun whispered from where he’s perched on Jonghyun’s side, his lips moving against the juncture of Jonghyun’s neck—it gave Jonghyun’s stomach a funny feeling, maybe the butterflies wanted to escape.
Jonghyun’s throat felt dry. “I’ve been using yours since I ran out of mine, in case you didn’t notice.”
When Minhyun inhaled again and let out a puff of hot breath, Jonghyun shivered. “I like it. I like it a lot.”
It’s decided then. If Minhyun liked it, he probably wouldn’t mind if Jonghyun continued using it.
“Sleep, Minhyun, you need it.”
Instead of asking why or obeying, Minhyun asked about a whole other matter instead, “Why won’t you return my hug?”
As stubborn and dorky Minhyun could be, Jonghyun couldn’t help but to relent when it came to Minhyun. So it’s a given when he snaked his arms around Minhyun’s waist and patted his back before falling asleep together.
3.
As soon as Minhyun came back, they’re bombed with a ton of schedules as Nu’est. Jonghyun—of course—felt sorry for Minhyun that they barely had a month to rest before going back to hectic daily plans. They had to practice a lot of their old songs for the Segno concert as well as learning new songs for the comeback after that. Other things include going to Milan for Minhyun and shooting a music video for his solo song. It’s tiring. It just had to always be tiring for all of them.
During one of their appointments with a magazine for some interview, Jonghyun found himself seated next to Minhyun at the back of the van, just the two of them. Aron decidedly wanted to refrain from dealing with Minki and Dongho’s bickering about cereal brands, so he sat at the front beside their manager who’s driving. Dongho and Minki sat at the middle, both as close to the windows as possible to maintain a safe distance—also, Minki thought that it’s a strategic position if he ever decided to kick Dongho in the face.
“Back in Wanna One, I only had Seongwu to bicker with.” Jonghyun found himself listening to Minhyun’s half-whispered woe. “Sungwoon and Jisung hyung are older than me that I feel like I have to be more mature around them while the rest are younger so I can’t even bring myself to argue with them in case I hurt their feelings.”
Minhyun leaned his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder, leaving the leader wondering whether his shoulder was comfortable enough to be a pillow or not. It kind of baffled Jonghyun how Minhyun liked resting his head there so much because as long as he knew, his shoulders were as hard as cliff rocks.
“So you like bickering with people?” Jonghyun asked offhandedly, knowing that it’s a pretty silly question.
“I do, actually.” Minhyun grinned, taking Jonghyun’s hand to play with his fingers. “I don’t know what it is all about, but being able to argue with people and exchange insults with them casually without actually meaning it just makes me happy. It makes me think that I’m comfortable enough with that person to do things this stupid and still get away with it.”
Jonghyun tried to stifle a laugh because it’s such a weird thing to say it’s actually very Minhyun.
“You’re a weird one.”
Minhyun got up and beamed a smile at Jonghyun. “That’s not even an insult anymore, you can do better.” and he went back to resting his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder.
“I don’t even have any insults for you.”
“That’s because you’re no fun and your shoulders are pretty uncomfortable I think I’m going to have a headache soon.”
The leader frowned and flicked Minhyun’s forehead, eliciting a small ‘ouch’ from the latter. “Then why do you like resting your head on my shoulder so much?”
“Because!” Minhyun slapped Jonghyun’s thigh in retaliation. “Because your shoulders might bruise my head but I like your warmth. Not your body warmth, but your warm personality.”
Okay, maybe playing insult-and-praise with Minhyun wasn’t so bad. If only Jonghyun could stop himself from grinning like an idiot upon hearing Minhyun’s words.
“I also happen to like your hugs.” Minhyun sat himself closer to Jonghyun if it’s even possible, making Jonghyun’s back rest against the side of the van, before hugging Jonghyun around his torso.
It wasn’t muscle memory, Jonghyun swore, as his hands went to wrap themselves around Minhyun. “Like this?”
“Yeah.” and Minhyun now decided to rest his head against Jonghyun’s chest, ear against the leader’s sternum. “I like listening to your heartbeat too.”
Really, it took Jonghyun years of practice until he could control his usually erratic heartbeat around Minhyun. He’s honestly screwed if he couldn’t, because Minhyun’s the really touchy type. One second Minhyun’s completely out of sight and the next second he’s all cuddled up against anyone he could get a hold of.
Minhyun closed his eyes. “I find it serene. Calming. A contrast to our hectic schedule these days.”
“Glad I can help you without doing anything.” and Minhyun could feel Jonghyun talking through the soft vibration on his chest.
“Do you know what you feel like?”
“What?”
“A home.”
That one time, Jonghyun couldn’t help it that his heart wouldn’t listen to him.
4.
“I can’t sleep.” was the first thing Minhyun let out of his lips the moment he stood beside Jonghyun’s bed.
The leader himself hadn’t succumbed to sleep yet that night. He had his back rested against the headboard, mind still lingering in a limbo, but not quite enough to make him sleep.
“So?” was the only thing Jonghyun could think of to reply Minhyun.
“Can I sleep here?”
Without saying anything, Jonghyun scooted over to make room for Minhyun. He never minded sharing his bed with anyone, even though the bed was barely enough to contain two adults like them. In fact, Jonghyun’s sharing a room with Minki and sometimes when Minki had his bed full of untidied clothes and plushies, he would just give up on it and slide into Jonghyun’s bed. Sharing the bed with Minhyun and Minki are two different things, however. Minki’s the type to kick Jonghyun in his sleep and hog all the blanket for himself, while Minhyun usually just wanted to steal all of Jonghyun’s body warmth by clinging as close as possible.
Before a minute passed, Jonghyun found himself lying on his side, face to face with a very wide awake Minhyun. A small talk might have to accompany them for a while.
And Jonghyun decided on a basic question. “Why can’t you sleep?”
“Minki made me watch a horror movie with him and I think some kind of twisted monster might be hiding under my bed.” Minhyun jutted out his bottom lip a little.
Jonghyun wanted to laugh, he really did. How old was Minhyun supposed to be this year? And he’s still scared of a monster lurking around his bedroom?
“I don’t know, Minhyun, did you maybe think that there might be a monster under my bed, too?” Jonghyun grinned.
Minhyun gasped, feeling betrayed, as he moved closer to Jonghyun until their chests are flush against each other and their foreheads almost touched. If that’s all it took for Minhyun to diminish any distance between them, Jonghyun would be more than happy to scare Minhyun out of his wits.
“One might be watching you from the corner of the room right now,” Jonghyun continued.
“Don’t do that!”
If there weren’t any distance between them before, now Minhyun’s practically glued to his leader. Jonghyun could barely breathe with how all of Minhyun’s 181cm tall body and long limbs were all tangled with him.
“Minhyun—”
“No!”
Well maybe dying from getting hugged by a Hwang Minhyun couldn’t be that bad.
Deciding to ease into the deadlock Minhyun trapped him in, Jonghyun just slid his arms behind Minhyun’s back and used one hand to stroke the taller’s hair gently. By then, Minhyun already had his head rested on the crook of Jonghyun’s neck. The only thing Jonghyun could think of was Minhyun’s soft hair tickling his chin and the arms wrapped securely around his waist leaving a burning sensation in Jonghyun’s chest.
Jonghyun could live with Minhyun being this clingy, really. Just, it’s not good for his heart. Because even the universe knew that Minhyun might enjoy being physically attached to Jonghyun, but what about his heart? Where did Minhyun’s heart choose to stay?
“Minhyun?”
No answer.
The leader let out a long sigh, acknowledging that Minhyun had fallen asleep. Maybe he should be proud, only a few minutes ago Minhyun was standing at his door telling him about not being able to sleep. Right now? Said person was fast asleep in his embrace on top of a cramped bed.
“Sleep tight, Starlight.” and Jonghyun might’ve had to refrain himself from kissing Minhyun right then.
He could wait. For some more years, if he should, if that meant that Minhyun would love him too one day.
+1
Being able to sing Daybreak on such a big stage with a couple thousands of audience was weird, Minhyun decided. It was even a lot more surreal when the only member on stage beside him was Jonghyun. Just the two of them, no one else. With that thought in mind, Minhyun could sang freely and let his heart out with every single syllables that came out of his lips. He could pretend that they’re the only two people in the universe and their fans were stars hung up on the sky.
It just so happened that when he walked towards Jonghyun, he locked eyes with the sweetly smiling leader while singing his lines in the middle of the song. For a good second, his mind went blank and he stuttered a bit, resulting in getting his lyrics messed up.
‘Wow, good job, Hwang. You can’t even get the lyrics right, pull yourself together.’
For what it’s worth, Minhyun didn’t know what happened right then. One second he was singing just fine, and the next second he saw Jonghyun walking his way looking pretty and he just managed an ugly slip up. Another glance at Jonghyun’s face, though, reassured him that it’s okay.
It really was okay. Especially when they reached the middle of the stage together and wrapped their arms around each other naturally. Just a practiced ease of ten year long friendship, that’s what they were.
But then, without any warning, Jonghyun decided to lean in to Minhyun’s chest with the biggest smile on his face. Minhyun couldn’t lie that his heart skipped a beat when he heard the fans erupting into a cheer. It was just about two seconds of Jonghyun leaning into Minhyun’s half-embrace, was it that much of a big deal?
The one thing Minhyun didn’t realize, though, was how the corner of his lips curled into a small smile after Jonghyun did that.
At least, Minhyun realized that when he’s scrolling through social media that night to find fancams of his performance with Jonghyun.
‘Your smile’s so stupid,’ Minhyun’s brain supplied when he replayed the video for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes.
Finally tapping the return symbol on the screen, Minhyun scrolled past some more of that day’s footage of their concert. There were many videos of their performances and some amusing captions. There were tons of videos of Jonghyun stripping off his shirt during his solo stage. Some of the comments under it made Minhyun laugh, but he couldn’t really blame them. He probably would’ve done the same if he were a fan, too.
After scrolling past a lot of things, one post caught his attention. It was a similar video to the one he replayed over and over just a few minutes ago, of him singing Daybreak while half-embracing Jonghyun, but the caption sent some kind of electricity to his heart.
How does it feel like to sing from the moon to the stars with your universe right there in your arms?
He read those words over and over again until his eyes hurt from the brightness of his phone screen. It’s such a nice sentence, but he wondered why it made himself smile like an idiot in the middle of the night.
“What are you smiling so stupidly for?”
Upon hearing that familiar voice, Minhyun turned his head so fast he almost got a whiplash.
“I just…” Minhyun started, but didn’t continue anyway because he had no explanation. So, he just opted to stare at Jonghyun and direct that exact same smile to him.
“Don’t smile at me like that, it’s creepy.” Jonghyun grinned, walking toward Minhyun that had been lying down on his bed for the past hour.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Minhyun just had to ask, because it’s his room and Jonghyun’s stepping into his territory without even knocking.
“I thought you were asleep.”
Minhyun raised an eyebrow. “And? What were you going to do if I were asleep? Murder me?”
“Of course.”
Jonghyun’s sense of humor invited a small laugh from Minhyun. It made Jonghyun smile. Perhaps even the smallest thing that could make Minhyun happy made Jonghyun happy, too. Though, it’s not hard to etch a smile on Minhyun’s lips.
“Scoot,” Jonghyun said as he climbed to Minhyun’s bed.
“Stealing my personal space, are we?” but Minhyun moved to make room for Jonghyun anyway.
“It’s not like you never slip into my bed without my permission.”
“True.”
“Or just suddenly cuddle up to me when there’s a lot of space in the room.”
Minhyun pursed his lips. “It gets cold easily around here, you know?”
Jonghyun snorted. “It’s almost summer, Minhyun.”
“Then what are you doing on my bed?”
Jonghyun shrugged and opted not to answer the question. Instead, he just used his arm as a pillow and stared at Minhyun’s eyes. Those pair of eyes seemed confused for a split second before staring back at Jonghyun. It’s their thing, just letting the clock tick and things move along around them, but keeping completely still in each other’s presence. It’s almost like stopping time for just the two of them.
How does it feel like to sing from the moon to the stars with your universe right there in your arms?
Minhyun’s suddenly reminded of the comment he read earlier and his lips formed a little smile again.
Jonghyun frowned. “What are you smiling at?”
“Not telling.” because it would be embarrassing if Jonghyun knew that Minhyun kind of took those words to heart.
“You’re a meanie.” Jonghyun jutted out his bottom lip and widened his eyes in an attempt to coax Minhyun into telling.
It’s cute. Jonghyun looked cute, Minhyun decided. The leader’s been doing a lot of cute acts these past days, it’s not good for Minhyun’s weak heart.
“I’m this close to hitting you with a pillow.”
Jonghyun gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t!”
“Bold of you to think that—”
But Minhyun’s words were cut short when he felt a pair of arms encircling his waist and legs tangled to his own. Minhyun was surprised too when he felt Jonghyun’s breath against his neck. It’s usually him clinging to Jonghyun like this, but now the tables have turned.
“Now you can’t hit me with any pillow.”
Minhyun scoffed upon hearing Jonghyun’s childish voice. “You’re just looking for an excuse to cuddle me.”
At that moment, Jonghyun looked up to meet Minhyun’s gaze. “Is that a crime?”
“Yes, a crime punishable by a—” Minhyun hesitated to continue, so he just let the sentence hang.
It made Jonghyun frown but smile somehow. “Punishable by what?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m going to tickle you if you don’t tell me.”
Minhyun didn’t realize when Jonghyun had his forehead against his. All he knew was that suddenly Jonghyun’s too close; Too close that Minhyun could feel Jonghyun’s breathing against his lips and their heartbeats synchronising with each other. He also swore Jonghyun’s eyes darted to his lips for a split second before going back to staring at his eyes again.
Maybe it’s time Minhyun took a leap of faith and end his whole life. He’s been waiting too long for Jonghyun to realize that his touches mean something more than just needing constant attention. Minhyun did need constant attention, but only from Jonghyun. Not Minki, not Dongho, not anyone else.
“It’s a crime punishable by a kiss, Jonghyun.” Minhyun grinned.
“But I’ve never seen it in any form of law?” Jonghyun decided to play along, blinking his eyes in an innocent way for good measure.
“Do you want me to kiss you or not?”
Before Minhyun was able to lean in, Jonghyun already rolled his eyes and closed whatever gap was left between them, prompting them to close their eyes. It almost took Minhyun by surprise, Jonghyun capturing his lips in what seemed to be the softest kiss Minhyun ever tasted. Not like he ever kissed someone, but Jonghyun made it as if Minhyun’s too delicate and needed taking care of. Minhyun didn’t mind that at all, he could live with just kissing Jonghyun’s lips for the rest of his life.
It’s a pure bliss for Minhyun, tasting Jonghyun’s lips like this. Their lips moved languidly against each other’s, trying to get more and more of the perfect feeling. The hands behind Minhyun’s back seemed to rub soothing circles for him, it made him want to melt. He really could cry because he didn’t want anybody else in the world to craddle him in their arms and kiss him like this. Just Jonghyun, that would be enough.
Minhyun couldn’t help the whine that escaped his lips when Jonghyun pulled away.
It made Jonghyun chuckle. “What? Can’t get enough of me?”
Only a sweet little kiss, yet it left Minhyun flushed with red cheeks, blurry vision, and an erratic heartbeat.
‘So that’s what it feels like to be kissed by Kim Jonghyun.’
“I love you, Minhyun.”
The words shouldn’t have taken Minhyun by surprise, judging by their usual banters and accidentally spilled hearts here and there; But it did. It still took Minhyun by surprise, because Kim Jonghyun loves him. The only person in the universe that didn’t mind Minhyun’s stupid and weird antics and actually loved him for it; the only person in the universe that actually cared about his story; the only person in the universe that Minhyun would love singing lullabies to, even if it’s in the middle of a concert stage; the person that’s now staring at him with the most loving gaze he ever received, actually loved him.
Maybe it’s not so much of a far-fetched dream anyway.
“I love you too, Kim Jonghyun.”
Jonghyun giggled. “Glad we have that established now.”
And as they basked in the feeling of bliss, having each other in their embrace, Minhyun was able to answer the question to that one comment.
It feels like the world wants you to be happy for once.
Because whether Jonghyun was Minhyun’s universe or not, he would always be there to make sure that Minhyun’s happy no matter what.