Chapter Text
Aziraphale wasn’t usually picky about where he lived, especially since technically speaking he didn’t need a residence at all. He did, however, need a place to keep his things he had acquired over the centuries, especially his expanding collection of books. Carrying them around with him everywhere had grown tiresome and leaving them in a pile in what he thought was a safe location tended to attract humans who had the audacity to gawk at the stack of books that were managing to not get wet despite the heavy rain. A few of the other angels had grumbled when they had to clean up after that particular incident, so he had been forced to come up with a better solution.
Naturally, Heaven was just not going to provide him with a place to keep things from Earth that they would say he didn’t even need. Which meant he had to procure a place of his own, somewhere that no humans had an interest in. The place had been empty for years, and with the right misplaced paperwork, it could stay that way for years to come. He was really doing humans a favor by keeping them out of the building. By all rights, it should have been condemned. In order to avoid notice, he resorted to sneaking in the back door to prevent passerbys from asking questions.
The back door was located down a dark alley that gave him the creeps every time he stared down its mouth. He stood at the entrance far longer than was necessary, waiting. There were dark things lurking down the alley, things that didn’t want to be seen. He could sense them, hiding in the shadows, watching his every move. They were waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Waiting for unsuspecting solitary residents like himself to wander down the alley.
Whatever they were lurking in the shadows, they had yet to ambush him. His door was only three buildings in, not that far, he would be able to make it without incident. Had every other time he had gone back to the place that was currently little more than a storage room. He had new books he needed to add to his collection, so he had to go back there. Didn’t mean he had to stay long though.
He made his way confidently down the alley, aware of all the eyes watching him. Eyes from insidious creatures that wished all living things harm. He made his way past the first door, and he thought he felt the beings retreating away from him. At least he would not have to deal with them today. They were cowed by his angelic presence. He made it past the second door, and something rustled behind the dumpster three doors down. Good, the foul things were going to leave him alone again tonight.
He stopped at the third door and held his hand over the door knob, unlocking it. He couldn’t just leave his books sitting around unprotected. He started to push the door open when the metal trash can from the next door over fell, the lid rolling across the alley and clanged into the building on the other side of the alley. So one of the fiends decided to attack him.
“Show yourself,” he demanded, rounding on the creature because if wasn’t a fair fight if he couldn’t see what he was up against. A gray tabby stepped out from behind the fallen trash can and stared up at him with yellow unblinking eyes. “Is that you, Crowley?” he asked, stepping closer and trying to study the cat more intently. Perhaps there had never been any danger in the alley at all, just Crowley trying to play some weird mind games with him. “I don’t have time for this foolishness,” he announced, stepping forward and making a shooing motion with his hands. The cat responded by hissing at him.
“You really shouldn’t talk to them,” a new voice said from behind him. He turned around quickly, trying not to look too guilty. A young woman was balancing a canvas bag in one arm and was putting the key into her lock.
“Excuse me?” He looked over his shoulder but the fiend had already vanished. Well played. Now the neighbors might think he was going crazy.
“The strays,” the young woman said as she pushed the door open with her foot. “If you pay attention to them, they’ll mistake it for affection and you’ll never be rid of them.” She leaned inside her hours and put her bag down before reemerging and folding her arms across her chest. “Are you new in the neighborhood? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”
“I live right here.” He pushed open the door to show her that it was currently unlocked. And he would be wise to double check that it was locked when he left. He didn’t need any nosy neighbors snooping around his things uninvited. “And I’ll keep in mind what you said about the strays.” He tried to duck into the building, signaling an end to the conversation.
“I didn’t know anyone moved in there,” she said, and with a sigh he stepped back into the alley. “I’m sure my mother would have given you a housewarming gift.”
“That’s really not necessary.” He didn’t really want to live there, he just needed a place to store his books. The gray tabby came back and started to rub around his ankles. All of God’s creatures were drawn to his angelic nature, it really was proving to be quite the curse at the moment. Or the cat really was Crowley in disguise and he was just trying to be an arse.
“He really seems to like you,” the young woman said, gesturing to the cat that was rubbing obscenely against his legs. “You should watch that you don’t get attached.”
“I’m not attached,” he protested a little too quickly. The cat looked up at him, and he could feel it judging him.
“Really? Cause it sounded like you named it.” He wasn’t sure he liked this concept of ‘neighbors’ listening into his private conversation with stray cats in the alleyway… that was probably not Crowley in retrospect. At least he hoped not or he was never going to hear the end of this one. “Anyway, just be careful. Strays don’t last long and they’re fickle with their affections.”
“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” He sighed as she finally stepped inside her own house and shut the door firmly behind her. He wasn’t surprised to hear the lock click into place. “And you can just stay outside,” he declared to the cat that was still circling his ankles. The cat huffed indignantly as he disappeared into the sanctity of his own unit, shutting the door and the world out. Finally some peace and quiet where he could sit along with with his books.
He settled down on the sofa, the only piece of furniture besides the bookshelves and pulled out his latest acquisition. It had been quite a while since he had found something quite this rare, and he was eager to savor every page. He had just made it through the first two sentences when the meowing started. It was quiet at first, punctuated by a few scratches at the door. He raised his book higher and reread the first two sentences. The cries grew louder and more plaintiff. He was tempted to open the door, just to make sure there was nothing wrong with the noisy thing. Eventually it quieted down and he could only assume the cat had moved on. At least now he would be able to read his book in solitude.
The cat was scarce over the next couple of weeks. Every time he stepped into the alley, he no longer felt the presence of tiny eyes watching him. So much for that girls prophecy about the strays mistaking his attention for affection. He checked every time he left the building and every time he returned, but it seemed like one of the cats were around, let alone the gray tabby that had circled his legs. Perhaps he had chased it off with his rejection. Where the rest of the fiends had gone off to was beyond his knowledge. He managed to avoid his neighbors as well, which was rather a low-key blessing. He liked the quiet and the solitude, and the only company he longed for had been rather scarce lately.
He settled into a placid routine. He avoided his hoard for as long as he could, partially because he didn’t need Heaven asking about his hobbies but mostly because he didn’t like the loneliness the building radiated. It had been empty for quite some time and was aching for some boisterous company. The emptiness would seep under his skin, and he would have to close his book in a hurry and vacate the building before he could dwell on it for too long. He had lost more than one book place in the process, but it was still better than leaving his books out on the street. When he did return from his angelic duties, he managed to miss all the neighbors, and he would sit in the quiet of the building and try not to think. The books were a great distraction in that regard. Unless of course they had romantic subplots and then it seemed like the building was full of ghosts. The hiss of the radiator would cause him to lower his book for a moment, wondering if it had been something else he heard.
Regardless of the ghosts, the books were a welcome escape from his every day life and after long stretches of unrelenting work, he actually looked forward to their company. At least they were keeping him company, unlike some beings he could think of but refused to. He stepped confidently down the alley now that the strays appeared to have run off. His step faltered when he saw the neighbor girl leaning up against his door with her arms folded across her stomach.
This did not bode well for his plans for the evening, but he plastered a smile on his face as he approached her. No need to scare her off, make her suspicious and call the police.
“Excuse me, miss, but you seem to be confused. Your residence is the next door over.”
“I’m supposed to invite you over for dinner,” she said without vacating her spot in front of the door. He couldn’t exactly miracle the door unlocked when she was standing right in front of it. “Mom says a confirmed bachelor like yourself probably hasn’t had a home cooked meal since you left your mother’s house.”
“What does she mean, ‘confirmed bachelor’?” he asked, affronted that this neighbor lady he had never even met before had spent so much time thinking about his personal life when he wanted nothing more than to be left alone.
“You know, men like you,” the young woman said, stepping away from his door but not far enough that he could sneak inside without her realizing he didn’t have keys. “Don’t have wives because of… you know.”
What would he possibly do with a wife? Besides Heaven frowning upon intimate relationships with humans, it would be just one more thing that he would have to distract him from the things that really mattered.
“Anyway, she told me not to take no for an answer. And believe me, you do not want to make her angry.”
“I suppose one meal wouldn’t hurt,” he said which seemed to be the magic words to get her to step away from his door but also broke about a dozen of his own rules. It was dangerous to spend significant time with specific humans. Their lives were too short, and if he got too attached, it would bring him nothing but pain. One meal couldn’t hurt though, and with a longing glance at how close he had been to freedom, he followed the girl next door.
“Mom, I’ve brought the neighbor man,” she said as she stepped inside and shrugged out of her shawl. “I hope he’s not a serial killer.”
He would have corrected her on that count, but he had stopped just inside the door. Even though the layout was identical to his place just next door and was part of the same building in desperate need of repairs, his breath was taken away by the differences on the inside. It just wasn’t that this place was furnished while all he had was a few bookcases and the single sofa he sat in for reading. This place was lived in from the battered pillows on the sofa to the dirty mug sitting next to the sink. More than that, this place was loved. The people who lived here loved the place for giving them shelter no matter what it looked like to an outside observer.
“Mom!” the young woman called at the bottom of the stairs. A middle aged woman appeared from a room deeper in the house, wiping her hands in the folds of her apron.
“Oh, I see you brought our neighbor back with you.” She took a few steps forward with her hand extended towards him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr-”
“Fell,” he provided quickly, loosely grasping her hand and giving it a quick single shake before pulling away. “Your daughter tells me that I’ve been requested for dinner.”
“I hope she wasn’t too pushy,” the woman said, looking pointedly around him. When he turned around the only thing he saw was the young woman pulling some dishes out of the cupboard. “It’s just that I figured you must travel a lot with your job and without a wife, you probably never get a proper home cooked meal.”
“That’s exactly how she put it,” he said as he turned back around to the matron and the girl carefully balanced the dishes on her way over to the table. No need for him to get the young lady in trouble when she was just trying to do her best. “I hope you didn’t go through any trouble on my account.”
“No, no trouble at all,” she dismissed him as she bustled her way past him and he suddenly felt very much in the way. The daughter set the table while her mother opened up the oven releasing the smell of fish. “I hope you like tuna casserole,” she said as she pulled a large dish out of the oven. It seemed an awful amount of food for just the three of them, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“I’m sure it’s delicious,” he said stepping out of her way again as she made her way to the table with the dish. The fish smell would probably bring some of the strays back to the alley.
“Please, have a seat,” she said, gesturing to one of the chairs at the table while her daughter sat down. Three chairs at the table, but there was only the two of them. He doubted they brought out the extra chair just for him. The mother waited until he was seated before she started spooning heaps of the meal onto his plate. She gave her daughter some before she finally sat down.
“Smells delightful,” he said as the woman beamed at him and her daughter stared at her plate like he wasn’t even there. Something was leaking somewhere in the house, a steady drip that seemed to echo through the kitchen. He could indulge them for a little while, then go back to hiding in his own place. It couldn’t hurt to have a small meal, but he was finding it difficult to eat when they were starting at him so intently. “What’s that noise?” he asked, placing his fork back down on his plate. He couldn’t possibly be expected to be comfortable with that infernal noise going on.
“Don’t you mind that,” the neighbor woman said with a dismissive wave. “It’s just a leaky pipe in the downstairs bathroom, nothing for you to worry about.”
“Nonsense,” he said, standing up from the table. “I’ll fix it for you, in thanks for the dinner.” He followed the sound further into the house, followed by the young lady of the house. Probably making sure he wasn’t going to do anything weird in her house. He found the source, a pipe underneath the sink that was dripping into a bucket she placed under there to collect the water.
“I think I found your problem.” He moved a little to the side to block the young woman’s view. He placed his hand next to the pipe and realign it so the leak would stop, aware that the young woman was trying to peer around him. “There. Fixed. Now we can enjoy dinner.”
“But you didn’t have any tools with you.” She stepped closer to him and tried to peer around him. “How did you do that?”
“You better not be bothering him, young lady,” the neighbor woman called to them from where she remained at the table.
“She’s no trouble,” he called back even though she was asking too many questions. He was going to have to be very careful about what he did around her or else he was going to have to find somewhere else to store his stuff. Which could be far more trouble than he had time for at the moment. “Don’t want your mother’s cooking to go cold now, do we?” She made one last attempt to peer around him before sashaying back to the dining room.
At least now he could attempt to enjoy the meal in relative peace, even though the young woman stared at him the entire time like he was about to grow a second head. Or she expected him to do something unnatural. The food was good, definitely better than anything he had been making for himself. When he was done and he thanked his hosts for the meal, she fixed him up a plate to take home with him. He held it carefully in front of him as he walked the short distance back to his unit. He had thought about declining her offer since he had nowhere to keep it, but that would not have been very polite.
“Meow,” a cat chirped from the darkness and he almost dropped the plate. The gray tabby from the other week stepped out of the shadows, tail lashing behind it. It sniffed the air appreciatively and looked at him expectantly. “Mew,” it added plaintively, raising it’s front paw.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, and the cat came to ring around his ankles some more. He looked back over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed them. “Don’t tell them about this.” He put the plate down on the ground and the cat zeroed in on the tuna. He kept looking guiltily over his shoulder, like he expected someone to come out at any moment and scold him for sharing his leftovers with a stray. They were his leftovers to do with as he pleased. The cat stepped away from the plate, licking its chops as it jumped onto the windowsill. It licked its paw and started cleaning the side of it’s face, perfectly content to ignore him now that it had a full belly. He picked the plate up and disappeared into his unit; he could take the plate back to them in a few days.
The next morning when he left the building the cat was outside waiting for him. It jumped down from the windowsill and started circling around his legs in greeting. “I don’t have anything for you,” he told the cat which as far as he was concerned should have been the end of it. The cat was uncooperative however and continued to rub up against him, purring incessantly.
“Good morning, Mr. Fell,” the young lady from next door called as she stepped outside of her unit. “Where’re you off to?”
“I’m trying to go to work,” he said attempting to move forward and nearly tripping over the cat that refused to move, “but this feline seems to have other ideas.”
“Is that the same stray from the other day?” she asked, peering over at him. “I warned you not to feed him.”
“Who says I fed him?”
“He seems rather fixated on you.”
“Fine, I fed him, now what do I do?” He needed to get to work, who knew what sorts of evils were going on in the world. Perhaps the cat wasn’t Crowley, but maybe Crowley had sent the cat to trip him up.
“You’ve got to scare it away.”
“Why would I do that?? The poor thing just wants love.” The cat looked up at him with wide yellow eyes.
“Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The girl stepped quickly towards him while making shooing motions with her arms. The cat hissed at her before darting down the alley. “It doesn’t want love, it just wants to take advantage of you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He didn’t think she needed to scare it off quite so drastically. The poor thing was probably cowering under the stairs somewhere.
“You seem like a nice guy, Mr. Fell. Strays are fickle with their affections, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”