Archive of Our Own

He knew he should be calling her brave, but his current wildfire of emotions prevented him from doing so. She was stupid, so very fucking stupid for sneaking out with them on a grounder raid. The grounders had once again took one of theirs captive, she had also once again declared she was coming with them, and he had once again said no.

“Why was she so god damn stubborn?” he growled continuing in a fit of pacing. She stayed the other times, why the hell did she have to be so defiant now? Bellamy knew Clarke wasn’t one to just sit and obey commands, but she always knew when she had to. So you could imagine his dismay when he heard her pain filled cry on their way back to camp. They had successfully gotten the boy back from the grounders when he heard it, and it had stopped him dead in his tracks.

He knew it was her, he didn’t know how, but he just did.

He immediately followed the sound, turning around, and sprinting off until he saw those cerulean eyes looking up at him. She was lying on the floor with her foot stuck in what Finn later identified as a bear trap.

“Bellamy.” she barely whispered, reaching out to him, making his breath falter along with his heart.

He wasted no time dropping down to her side, taking her hand in his. “God damnit, Clarke.” he grumbled lowly at the sight of her, her full lips were trembling and losing color, fast. She had stopped whimpering and groaning, but her eyes showed just how much pain she was in. As soon as Bellamy heard the sounds of approaching footsteps, he immediately started barking orders. “Get the thing off of her, now!”

The way she was beginning to lay limp in his arms, the way he could see the life slowly running away from her, made him want to scream and cry at the same damn time, why the hell was she so damn difficult?

He held her tight through the guys managing to pry the trap off with parts that were scavenged from the drop ship, even as her ankle was released, and she had cried out a frightening scream, a sound that made Bellamy wince.

He remembered taking off his shirt, tying it around her wound to try to at least stop some of the bleeding, and carrying her back to camp. He remembered being anxious and nervous because she was the one who dealt with this kinda stuff, and he didn’t know how the hell he was gonna fix this.

And then he remembered how she saved the kid with the goggles, she wouldn’t stop babbling about how they actually found medicine on earth for weeks, and how lucky they were. So he didn’t waste a moment ordering a group to go find this “miracle seaweed”.

Now here he was pacing back in forth in front of his tent, where Clarke was currently laying unconscious. Octavia had kicked him out, saying all of his million questions were making her nervous. But how could he not ask questions, seeing her laying there like that?

He didn’t know what was going to happen to her and it honestly scared him, the Big Bad Bellamy was scared shitless.

“Collins, where the hell is that seaweed I asked for, she’s dying for fucks sake?!” he roared, the word “dying” getting stuck on his tongue, as if it was the most bitter thing he ever tasted. He felt like pulling his hair out, like screaming, and the worst part was that he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know why the girl who had basically challenged him on everything, who undermined his every fucking word, made him feel so, so fucking helpless.

Finn had came back with the seaweed, just as he was asked, and gave it to Raven and Octavia, who began to get to work. Bellamy wanted to go in to see what was going on, but Octavia had still objected to him being there, she didn’t want him ogling her every move. “Bell, I’ve watched her heal people with this stuff a thousand times, quit worrying, she’ll be fine.” she said, trying to reassure her brother.

It didn’t work.  

He continued worrying, pacing in front of the tent for what seemed like hours, constantly biting his nails out of anxiousness, before Octavia’s head popped out announcing that Clarke was awake, with a smile on her face.

He rushed in there, and kicked the two girls out, his nerves had vanished and he was now filled with anger. How could she be so stupid, so careless, didn’t she get that they needed her, that he needed her. But all feelings of anger subsided when he saw her face, thankful eyes looking up at him.

“Fuck” he thought as his breath literally getting caught in his throat.

“I was going to thank you for saving my life, but, couldn’t you at least put a shirt on?” her raspy voice asked, bringing notice to his lack of clothing.

“Why am I making you nervous, Princess?” he said, with a sly smirk. He wanted to give her a lecture, tell her why everything she did today was a big mistake, but their banter was already starting and he just couldn’t resist it.  

She couldn’t help the smile that crept on her face, but it quickly vanished when she saw the worry behind his eyes.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say, that I was being reckless and dumb, trust me it won’t happen again, I just wanted to help.”

“Good, the camp needs you, Clarke.” he said sternly. “I need you, Clarke.” he thought, cursing himself for what must’ve been the billionth time that day.

“I know.” she sighed, her blue eyes meeting his dark ones, and she truly did