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The fact that Ushijima Wakatoshi was beautiful was always an obvious thing to Satori.
It wasn't about how handsome he was, at least not exactly. Of course, Satori acknowledged it (you had to be blind not to acknowledge those eyes, posture, arm muscles and jawline that could cut glass), but the thing he found most beautiful in Wakatoshi was his power.
The first time he saw him spike in middle school, he couldn't think about anything else for two days straight. Of course, he was also jealous (because Ushijima could crush enemies more effectively than he did), but mostly it took his breath away how magnificent and terryfying Ushijima was.
He knew he wants to be in Shiratorizawa with him immediately.
When they both joined the volleyball club it soon turned out that Ushijima is intimidating both on and off court, so Tendou, always trying to do the thing he's least expected to do, set his heart on breaking down the walls the future ace bulit around himself. Maybe it was also because, unlike everyone else, Ushijima was never judging him. Over the years, Satori has gotten used to people avoiding him and excluding him from everything. "Monsters aren't allowed on human teams". Even his given name reminded people of a monster. He has gained thick skin. But Wakatoshi didn't care and, after they had become closer, his sole presence prevented Tendou from being openly attacked. Being on the volleyball team, where people (first Ushijima, who apparently didn't give a damn about anyone's looks, but then Semi and the rest of the team) acknowledged him for his abilities, instead of being scared or laughing at him, made Tendou's confidence blossom.
Despite Wakatoshi's introverted personality they became very close soon - as close as you could get with Wakatoshi. He was also the first person Satori started calling by their given name.
"Hey, Wakatoshi-kun" Satori said, when they met during holidays after finishing their first grade, "have you liked someone before? I mean, had a crush? A girl, or maybe a boy, or whatever." A moment of silence.
"I don't know. I don't really think about it yet."
"Volleyball is really the only thing on your mind, huh?"
"I guess so." Said Ushijima flatly. "Have you liked someone like this?"
"Not really."
Looking back, Tendou isn't sure if he wasn't lying. But understanding was never an easy thing for him and the differences between admiration, finding someone aesthetically pleasing, friendship, romantic attraction, sexual desire and love always felt so vague that they were almost nonexistent.
His admiration for Wakatoshi certainly did start when he first saw him. He couldn't possibly not admire someone who could break the opponents' hearts so easily. But what about the other things? He didn't even know how to define them. When they arrived at the Sendai City gymnasium on their first tournament in second grade, Tendou noticed Wakatoshi's eyes following Oikawa Tooru, and asked:
"What do you think about that setter from Seijoh, Wakatoshi-kun?"
"Oikawa? He should have come to Shiratorizawa and be a setter here. He's talented."
"Wow, you must really care about him! That's plenty of words for you to use."
"It's annoying that he didn't come to our team. He's stubborn."
"And handsome, right?" Satori laughed and Ushijima frowned.
"Hm, I don't know. Maybe."
Tendou never really understood why finding both boys and girls attractive would be a weird thing. Maybe because until high school he was always made to feel different and ostracised, he didn't really care about what was accepted by society and what wasn't. The thought that Wakatoshi could like another boy didn't feel odd.
Or maybe it did, but for an entirely different reason.
But Ushijima didn't seem to like Oikawa, or anyone for that matter, in that way.
It was before the spring tournament in second grade when Satori realised that maybe he didn't only find Wakatoshi beautiful beacuse of his power on the court; maybe also because he was, well, strikingly handsome. That was a weird realisation, but Tendou was used to weird, so he didn't do anything about it.
That is until the chills he got whenever they touched became too much to handle and he just couldn't get Wakatoshi off his mind when he jerked off. He assumed not being able to control it is caused by puberty. Which teenager could control themself while constantly being around a person this attractive? He also decided to keep it all to himself.
During holidays after second grade, Satori asked:
"Hey, Wakatoshi-kun. We are friends, right?"
"Yes."
"Are we friends only because of volleyball?"
"...No, I don't think so. Do you?"
"No. You're actually... The closest friend I've ever had, I think."
Silence. A nod from Ushijima.
"Can I tell you something?" Said Tendou again, already used to the fact that Wakatoshi isn't the most talkative person in the world.
"Yes."
"I think I'm attracted to both boys and girls." Satori said like it's nothing, because maybe it is. "I don't really care about that. Even people who are neither boys nor girls... I think anyone could be attractive to me."
"Hm, that's fine" Ushijima finally answers. "I think you mentioned handsome guys before."
"Woah! I didn't realise you were paying attention!"
Later that evening Tendou got a text from Wakatoshi.
W: About the thing you told me.
S: Yeah?
W: Are you pansexual?
S: I think so~
W: I read some articles.
W: Also about people who aren't boys nor girls.
W: [link]
W: That's interesting.
W: And thank you for telling me.
S: That's A LOT of words for you, Tendou typed, because he wasn't going to tell Wakatoshi how moved he is, never in a thousand years.
In third grade, Tendou came to Ushijima with big news.
"Did you know that Oikawa is dating his ace?"
"Iwaizumi?" As if Seijoh has more than one ace.
"Yeah."
Ushijima didn't seem very bothered, but some time later, Tendou caught him really deep in his thoughts, which was kind of a rare sight.
"What are you thinking about, Wakatoshi-kun?"
"Do you know if Oikawa and Iwaizumi told their teammates about that?" Asked Ushijima out of the blue and Satori's mouth fell open.
"I have no idea! I'm not that good at gossip. People don't really talk to me that much."
He couldn't stop thinking about why Wakatoshi asked him about that in the first place.
On his eighteenth birthday Wakatoshi got Satori One Piece merchandise (which happened to be exactly the things he wanted to buy for himself) and Tendou felt something he didn't understand.
When they were going to the nationals, Satori fell asleep on Ushijima's shoulder on the bus and woke up in the middle of the night with a tent in his sweatpants knowing it's caused by the absolutely inappropriate dream he had about Wakatoshi - it was absolutely terryfying, and not many things are terryfying to Tendou Satori.
During the tournament the tension he felt became unbearable so Tendou used every moment he got for himself to, well, get rid of it. He hoped no one noticed those moments when he closed himself in bathroom stalls imagining Wakatoshi's hands on him. He didn't care much about what people thought of him, but those people were his team and it wouldn't be good if they knew about something this embarassing.
Tendou never figured out what is the difference between friendship connected with sexual desire and love, so he was never sure what his feelings are. He once asked that question on the training camp and Leon, with Goshiki's questionable help, tried to explain the difference to him but couldn't find the right words to define it. Wakatoshi just listened in silence.
"Tendou" said Ushijima later, when Satori convinced him to hang out on the roof (come on, Wakatoshi. We're essential to the team, the coach won't punish us), "do you have a person you like?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"The question you asked earlier" Wakatoshi simply said.
"Oh. I'll tell you when I figure out!" Satori sing-songed.
They just sat in comfortable silence for a while. Luckily enough, the coach didn't catch them.
Tendou doesn't figure it out until spring tournament prelims and it gets kind of horrible. But thankfully, he can put all his energy into matches and forget about it. Feelings are a bitch to deal with, so Tendou just focuses on things he understands. Like blocking. Or breaking opponents' spirits.
"Hey, Tendou" said Semi conspirationally, when they were leaving the locker room after the semifinals. "I see you staring at Ushijima. And, despite his cluelessness, I think he could notice it, too." Tendou made an ugly grimace.
"I have no idea what are you talking about, Eita-kun."
Later that evening, Wakatoshi was walking home with him, as usual, and suddenly spoke up.
"Tendou?"
"Huh?" Ushijima grabbed his palm suddenly. "Ow! What-"
"Does this feel weird?" Satori looks at him, surprised.
"...No, not really, Wakatoshi-kun." Out of all people, Ushijima Wakatoshi made his first move on him? He must've gone mad.
"I don't know the difference between love and friendship connected with sexual desire, either. But you're my closest friend. And I feel sexual desire towards you." Satori started laughing loudly.
"Wakatoshi-kun, that's the worstly phrased confession of all time." When he stopped laughing they fell into silence, but it was not as comfortable this time. "Wait." Satori pulled Wakatoshi by the hand so that he stopped walking. "Would this feel weird?" He got his face close to Ushijima's and looked him in the eye.
It's a horrible first kiss, teeth and tongue and all. The second one is much better, though.
Tendou accidentally walked Ushijima home after that.
"Is that a relationship? Because I have no idea how these work."
"I don't know. I feel something towards you. Apart from friendship and sexual desire. But we should talk about it after we get to nationals."
Tendou sighed (volleyball always comes first, am I right?) and laughed.
"That's a whole lot of words."
You should always expect that you could lose, but they didn't.
Both Tendou and Ushijima had never been really good at expressing their emotions, so after Wakatoshi gave a speech to the team and they parted with their teammates, Tendou was just babbling some nonsense and Ushijima was silent. It was obvious that their relationship talk was postponed. Not that they could even think about anything other than the victory that had been stolen from them now.
A week passed and despite the wounds still being fresh, the third years had to focus on their exams, so, as usual, Wakatoshi was hanging out at Satori's place with his books.
"So, Wakatoshi-kun..."
"Hm?"
"I know we didn't get to nationals and all" Tendou said in an excessively amused voice, because that's how he always dealt with emotions, turning them into jokes, "but weren't we supposed to talk about something?"
"We were."
"So I have never been in a relationship and I know you haven't either."
"Mhm."
"I honestly don't know what you are supposed to do in those. But maybe we could try to do the things we want to and if that would mean we're dating, I'm fine with it. Are you?"
"I... Think so" said Ushijima carefully. "I don't mind tring, at least." Tendou got his face close to the other's. "We're supposed to be studying, Tendou."
"Ah, jeez, you can call me Satori now. At least at this very moment."
It was a great third kiss, despite Wakatoshi's weird habit of keeping his eyes open while kissing. Maybe he said they're supposed to be studying, but he doesn't seem to mind when Satori pushed him to the floor.
"Screw studying, I've waited too long for this."
*
Satori learned a lot of things during the next few weeks.
Like how Wakatoshi's palms get really sweaty when they hold hands (absolutely adorable, in Satori's humble opinion).
And that Wakatoshi keeps his eyes open while kissing because "he wants to look at Satori". So adorable his teeth almost hurt.
Or how Wakatoshi likes being called darling by Satori.
It also turned out that Satori himself is into slight exhibitionism and Wakatoshi is down for it sometimes. Since they still had access to the club room they were able to have some fun in there, the "fun" involving Satori sucking Wakatoshi off. He didn't know how to do this at first, but he was a fast learner.
They generally got physical pretty fast, because they weren't exactly the ones to go with how things we're "supposed" to be in relationship, that you should wait and all, and since they have come to the conclusion that they feel "mutual sexual desire", why exactly would they wait?
Another thing he discovered: Wakatoshi, seemingly unaffected by most things that didn't include volleyball, gets red and his voice gets even deeper whenever he loses his composure while participating in sexual activities (super hot, if Satori has anything to say about that). He also has no idea where to put those huge hands, so Satori often has to place them somewhere (on his own butt, for example).
Semi called them gross and Satori was afraid another discovery would be that Semi is homophobic, but it turned out that he just saw them making out at school (and is very opposed to PDA).
Wakatoshi likes arm massages, is not opposed to Tendou singing in the shower and is a terrible cook, but does his best and can follow directions well. Also does a thing with his left hand like he's spiking a ball when he thinks no one is looking.
A discovery Tendou didn't make is how "regular" people in relationships do things. But, he thought while walking Wakatoshi home and holding his hand, does it really matter?