Chapter Text
Shoma was thirteen when his colors faded. His mom said he was a ‘late bloomer’, which was also why he was thirteen and still looked like a five-year-old, he assumed. Nobody really got excited about going from vibrant colors to a black and white world, but it happened to about forty percent of the population of the world. The crazy part of ‘soulmates’ – because that’s what the romantics called it – was that the amount of people who had them varied around the world. Japan’s amount was slightly higher, so Shoma only knew a few people who didn’t lose their color at puberty and continue to live with color-blindness until they met their soulmate. Most people found them early in life. Some people went decades color-blind. Others got their colors back abruptly because, tragically, their soulmate had died before they ever met so they technically no longer had one.
The medical community hated calling them soulmates, but there wasn’t a better term. When soulmates met, they clicked and were very compatible. The even weirder part was that it didn’t have to be romantic love. His mother’s soulmate was her older sister, so she had never lost the ability to see colors. His father didn’t have a soulmate, but his grandparents had been soulmates. Shoma wasn’t the most outgoing kid so he had always hoped he had a soulmate. When he lost his colors, he got excited even though it was inconvenient when it came to costumes. He wanted his soulmate to be his best friend. He didn’t care if he met a soulmate he fell in love with, she would still be his best friend. He had friends. He had friends at school and at the rink. He was making friends with some of the other skaters when they met at competitions. It wasn’t that he was a loner.
But he didn’t have a best friend besides his brother. Shoma loved his baby brother more than anybody in the whole world, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about feeling scared about competitions or nervous he was going to fail that wasn’t a nine-year-old. He couldn’t wait for the day he met his soulmate.
In the end, he didn’t have to wait long, but he almost wished he had because maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if he was older when his soulmate rejected him.
~
Shoma was jogging backstage, just keeping his legs warmed up, when someone came out of a door and crashed into him. He fell down and heard frantic English. He didn’t understand it, but when a hand grabbed his, he let the person pull him up. When he stood up, he brushed off his pants, only to look up and make eye contact with another skater he had seen in videos but never at the same competition. He couldn’t remember his name, but he noticed something else very fast.
He was seeing his face in color.
The boy gasped, big, chocolate brown eyes widening in shock. Shoma’s eyes had to be just as wide. “Oh my God,” he said, and the other guy seemed to jolt out of his shock.
“Shoma?” Shoma turned around, mouth hanging wide open as Mihoko came over. “I saw you fall down. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.
“I-I-“ He looked back up at the tall boy who was just staring at him in shock. “I- I see color. He- I-“ He looked at Mihoko. “I looked at him and I can see color.”
She went still and looked back at the other boy. She said something in English, he couldn’t understand it, and the other boy nodded, looking dazed, and Mihoko tugged Shoma along as they went after him. When they got to another hallway, there was a woman with red hair – and wow things seemed more vibrant than before he lost his colors – and the tall boy rushed up to her, already speaking in rapid English.
Shoma stood there, watching the coaches talk and looking over at the boy who just looked like he might be sick. Shoma understood the shock. He never expected to meet his soulmate at a competition and he really didn’t expect for his soulmate to be from another country. It really worried him when he thought about it. He couldn’t talk to his soulmate. He was a boy so he couldn’t fall in love with him like his grandparents. He lived in America, so how would they ever see each other or talk? Shoma was so worried he didn’t notice the women were done talking until Mihoko addressed him.
“Shoma, here’s what we’re going to do,” she said, and he looked up at her patiently. “It’s right before the short. You both need to focus on that. We’re going to meet up after everything is done and you guys will talk then with our help. He’s in a good spot to podium so he’s really got to focus on this, and you need to focus on making sure your first season as a junior is as good as possible.”
He nodded. “Okay. I want to win medals. I’m okay waiting,” he said, and she smiled kindly and led him away to go back to warming up.
~
Shoma was so excited after calming down. He didn’t think it would be easy to learn English, but his soulmate was so cool! His skating was amazing. Shoma watched his short program and wow. He was just so good. He was happy now that the shock was over. He could learn English and they could email all the time and it would be great. He was going to have somebody to talk to and they were going to be the best friends ever.
His little optimistic heart would never feel so much hope ever again after they walked into a room and his soulmate wasn’t even there, just his coach. Mihoko spoke to her, and she seemed very uncomfortable. When Mihoko started raising her voice he got worried. He felt a rush of fear because what if something happened to his soulmate? He didn’t even know his name yet.
The argument was very brief and the coach left the room. “Mihoko?” he asked, and she just tapped her foot. When the coach came back from the other door with his soulmate following her, he looked annoyed but okay. “What’s happening?” he asked her.
She sighed heavily. “Give me a second.” She addressed the other boy and Shoma subtly took his phone out, turning on the sound recorder so he could translate what was being said later if Mihoko wasn’t going to bother telling him anything. When the other boy said something with a finality in his tone, he looked at Shoma for just a moment, searching his face, before turning and leaving again.
His coach bowed to Mihoko and followed him back out.
“Fuck,” Mihoko said and Shoma gasped. He had never heard her curse before. She looked down at Shoma, who had stashed his phone again, and she put her hands on his shoulders. “Oh, Shoma,” she said gently, and he frowned.
“What’s wrong? Where did they go?”
She looked heartbroken and his fear mounted. “Shoma, your soulmate’s name is Jason Brown. He just turned eighteen, he’s from America, and he-“ He paused and ducked her head. “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart,” she said in a tight voice. “He doesn’t want to see you. He- he said he doesn’t have time for a soulmate right now and- and it’s better you just pretend you guys didn’t meet.”
Shoma’s heart shattered. “But- but why?” he asked, eyes stinging as they filled with tears. “What did I do wrong?”
“Oh, Baby, nothing,” Mihoko said fiercely, tugging him into her arms. He cried into her jacket, clinging to her. “You did nothing wrong. He’s a bad kid is all. I can’t believe that is what fate decided to do to you. You deserve a good soulmate, not that brat. It’s okay, though, huh?” She pulled him back and wiped his cheeks. “I don’t have a soulmate and I’m perfectly alright, aren’t I?” she said, brushing his hair from his forehead. “Don’t you worry about that stupid boy. You’re going to be the best skater in the world, and he’ll regret being mean and not having you as his friend.”
Shoma just closed his eyes and cried, unable to help it. He wanted to believe her. He wanted her words to be true so badly.
But he wanted his soulmate more.
~
Later that night, Shoma carefully translated what Jason said with his computer and he was devastated.
“Listen, I don’t have time to deal with this! He’s a little kid and I’m an adult! I’m not being soulmates with a child that looks like a ten-year-old. I’m going senior soon and he’s clearly not for a while, so he’ll get over it since he’ll never see me. I’m not a little boy’s soulmate. It’s just not okay.”
Shoma cried himself to sleep because he dreamed of meeting his soulmate for so long and he ended up not wanting him. He had been so happy when he got over the shock and was so sure he had met his best friend forever and they were going to learn to communicate and he would always have someone thinking about him even if they didn’t live close to each other and he would call him every day. Shoma’s thoughts were so jumbled and in such a rush he just cried harder because it wasn’t going to happen that way. He was alone again after three hours of thinking maybe he had a best friend now. Shoma always thought he wasn’t good enough for a lot of things, but he couldn’t believe he wasn’t good enough for his soulmate.
~
The next day, Shoma was in the same group to skate as his soulmate and it made him fight tears the whole time. Jason won the gold medal and Shoma finished next to last. That would be the last time he saw Jason Brown until Skate America four years later.
That was when everything changed.