Chapter Text
Anakin did not know how Padmé was arguing with him from beyond the grave, but even after her death they were somehow still managing it.
Given everything he had done before leaving Mustafar with her and Obi-Wan, Anakin deserved to die.
Although his promise to Padmé that he would take care of their children kept him alive, he certainly did not deserve to ever be happy again. As a widower in exile on Tatooine, being crushed by the full weight of his sins, Anakin knew he never would be.
Padmé, he sensed, vehemently disagreed.
In their last great argument, however, Anakin had the empty consolation of being assured victory.
The conversation he had had to have with his stepfamily when he showed up on their doorstep had been possibly the most mortifying of his life.
“Hi, I know it’s been a few years and you probably thought you’d never see me again, but would you mind if I buried my dead wife next to my dead mother outside of your house? By the way, I’m on the run from some extremely dangerous people—yes, more dangerous than the Hutts—and the reason I’m back on Tatooine is the planet has a Force dampening effect that will help me hide. Also, I’m really sorry about this especially since I know we’re not actually related, but someone might come looking for me because of our loose association—and even if I’m not here they likely won’t leave you alive. So, if you want you can let me, my twin infants, and grumpy friend live with you so we can try and protect you if anyone ever comes around, or we’ll go elsewhere and you’ll be on your own. Your call.”
Not giving the Lars family much of a choice, Anakin, Obi-Wan, the twins, and the droids had moved in. His stepfather and now stepsister-in-law had been welcoming. His stepbrother, however, had been understandably livid.
Anakin soon saw that Owen’s foul temper was due in part to being chronically overworked. Cliegg had never gotten out of his hoverchair after losing a leg while trying to rescue Anakin’s mother from the Tuscan raiders. This left all the heavy lifting on Owen’s shoulders, and as much as he protested Anakin’s presence he could really use some help.
Even with having brought a pair of useful droids in tow, it took Anakin fixing a dead moisture vaporator and then making a new one from scratch for his stepbrother to even begin to forgive him for putting their family in danger.
Anakin too was filled with fear of discovery.
It was well known in the wrong circles that he was from Tatooine. But if anyone came looking for him they would likely start in his hometown of Mos Espa. There was still, however, one way for someone to track him to Mos Eisley. Anakin eventually decided he could no longer avoid a visit to his old master, Watto, to beg, bribe, and threaten the Toydarian into keeping silent about the location of the Skywalkers.
Fearful that his former padawan would get grabbed by one of Palpatine’s agents, Obi-Wan did not want him to go alone. Anakin, however, insisted that one of them stay behind to guard the twins and his stepfamily. In the end they agreed that Anakin was more likely to be able to complete the task discreetly, and Obi-Wan had reluctantly agreed to stay behind.
In embarking on the long and dangerous journey to Mos Espa, Anakin did not dream of using the ship they had arrived in, which he had carefully concealed in a rocky cave in the nearby hills. Instead he asked to again borrow Owen’s speederbike. After Anakin promised to fully refurbish it when he returned, his stepbrother relented.
In Mos Espa, Anakin found Watto’s shop abandoned, and decided to risk making an inquiry to a neighbor.
“Why is Watoo suddenly so popular with outlanders?! He died years ago in a fight over a gambling debt,” the neighbor told him in heavily accented Huttese.
The report was both concerning and comforting. Concerning because it validated all of Anakin’s paranoia that Palpatine was hunting him. Comforting because the way for the Skywalkers to be linked to the Lars’ moisture farm no longer existed.
Anakin took a circuitous route home, fearful of being followed and himself unwittingly leading Palpatine’s agents to his family. Eventually he was confident, however, that he had made it in and out of Mos Espa unnoticed by any enemies that remained in the town, and returned to the homestead.
Obi-Wan was visibly relieved when Anakin was safely home. He embraced his former padawan tightly, holding onto him for a few heartbeats longer than usual. Anakin had not realized just how worried his mentor had been that he would not make it back.
Anakin and Obi-Wan were always prepared to fight or flee. They were never without their lightsabers, and one of them was always within striking distance of the homestead. However, the intel Anakin had obtained was welcome news, and the probability of the imminent attack they feared lessened with the passage of time.
They all eventually settled into a routine of life on Tatooine. Enlisting the aid of Beru, without whose help Anakin knew he would never be able to keep two babies alive, the former Jedi briefly turned Sith Lord got to work as a moisture farmer.
For someone who thrived on adventure and excitement, Anakin’s new existence did feel like a degree of the torture he deserved. Farming water from the desert air was laborious and boring. Anakin was also now surrounded by endless miles of sand, which continued to be rough, coarse, irritating—and he still absolutely hated it.
The mindless work was also not much of a distraction from the flashbacks of the unspeakable atrocities he had committed that were never far from his memory.
“Master Skywalker, there are too many of them . . .”
“Lord Sidious promised . . .”
What Anakin really wanted was to be dead.
It would not come close to atoning for all he had done, but it would be what he deserved.
What kept him alive, however, was the promise Padmé had extracted from him with her dying breath.
“Look at me Anakin! You have to take care of our children! Promise me!”
The twins.
Luke and Leia were the light of his life—light he did not deserve. If Padmé had not made it a condition that he would raise them himself, Anakin long ago would have given in to his conviction they would be better off without him. Leaving them in the care of better people who would not screw up their lives, he would have ended his.
Padmé, however, had thought of that and outmaneuvered him.
So instead of a bold definitive act, Anakin was left with the insufficient penance of enduring the mundane irritations and drudgery of daily life.
Today started off like any other day.
Anakin awoke early, sweat rolling off his chest from the previous night’s nightmares. Dressing quietly to not wake the twins, he crept outside the homestead. All too soon he would feel the tremor in the Force of his toddlers waking up that would signal the start of a new exhausting day. But in the predawn light, Anakin had a few minutes to himself.
Standing in front of the gravestones of his wife buried next to his mother, it was the only time of the day Anakin allowed himself to feel the full weight of his despondency and grief. With the rising of the sun he would have to pack away his dark emotions for fear he would contaminate his Force sensitive children. But for now the darkness and depression washed over him in waves.
As he did every morning, Anakin fell to his knees in front of his wife’s grave, tears streaming down his face.
“It should have been me. I’m the one who deserves to die—not you. You should be here,” Anakin sobbed, “The twins need you . . . I need you.”
As usual the answer he got was a vague sense of compassionate but staunch disagreement.
This morning was not like other mornings, however, as while kneeling in the glow of the Tatooine sunrise, Anakin suddenly felt a faint tremor in the Force.
It was far off but getting stronger by the second.
And on the horizon he saw a speederbike approaching, kicking up a trail of dust in its wake.
Fear gripped Anakin’s heart.
They had been found.
There was no way Palpatine would come himself, and Anakin suddenly had a flashback from his childhood of Maul running him down on a speederbike and Qui-Gon telling him to drop.
Anakin’s lightsaber flew into his hand, and he ignited it as he charged towards the speeder so rapidly approaching his family.
Man and speeder were seconds away from colliding when the Force signature of the rider suddenly slammed into him with a jolt.
Anakin dropped his lightsaber into the sand and it automatically shut down. He did not, however, slow his pace.
In a single impossible move, the rider swung the speeder to an abrupt stop and launched off of it.
And Anakin opened his arms wide to catch her . . .
As Ahsoka Tano crashed into his embrace.
“Master! Anakin!” Ahsoka cried as she flung her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.
Anakin caught his former padawan, and somehow managed to stay on his feet.
“Snips?!” Anakin cried.
They clung to each other for a full minute before Anakin finally set her down, and caressed her cheek has he looked disbelievingly at her. Ahsoka pressed his hand more firmly against her with both of hers, as tears streamed down her face.
“How?” Anakin stammered, “Last I heard you were kicking Maul off Mandalore . . . with the Clones. How did you survive the Purge?”
“Rex had his inhibitor chip removed after what happened to Fives. When the Clones-” Ahsoka briefly choked up, “When the Clones turned, Rex helped me. We faked our deaths and escaped. I’ve been bouncing around the Outer Rim, hiding and working as a mechanic.”
Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit Anakin.
“Ahsoka, how did you find me? Were you followed? Who else knows where I am?” Anakin asked, anxiety rapidly welling up in him as he looked towards the horizon she had come from, scanning it for pursuers.
Ahsoka put a steadying hand on his arm.
“No one else knows where I’ve gone, and I made sure I wasn’t followed,” she said soothingly.
“And as for how I found you,” Ahsoka said, briefly pausing to mentally put into words something that pushed the bounds of credulity, “I had a dream that Padmé told me you were still alive, and on a Tatooine a moisture farm outside of Mos Eisley . . . and that you needed me.”
“So I made my way here,” she continued, “As outlandish as it was, if there was even the remotest possibility that you were still alive I would never be able to rest until I came to see. I didn’t dare hope it was really true, but it was about time for me to move anyway, so I figured the worst-case scenario would be checking out a new place to hide. And the best case-”
She was suddenly overcome with emotion.
“Oh Master!” Ahsoka said, as she flung herself back into his arms.
Anakin held her tightly and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
“Padmé?” Ahsoka asked into his chest.
“She’s gone, Snips,” Anakin told her sadly.
They remained that way for a while, mourning their lost friends and loved ones—grateful they no longer had to include each other on that list.
Suddenly struck with an unanswered question, Ahsoka pulled away and asked, “But how did you survive?!”
Anakin abruptly slammed his mental barriers up.
He could tell Ahsoka noticed, but was grateful she did not comment or push him for an explanation.
“Padmé and Obi-Wan rescued me,” Anakin responded by giving her the most vague version of the truth.
“Obi-Wan’s alive?!” Ahsoka exclaimed, and Anakin was glad their conversation was heading in a different direction.
“Yes, and he’s here with me. He’s going to be ecstatic to see you!” Anakin said before amending, “Well as ecstatic as Obi-Wan gets, anyway.”
“And Cody?” Ahsoka kept going in her hopeful inquires.
“No Snips. He still had his chip in,” Anakin told her sadly, “He tried to kill Obi-Wan who barely got away.”
With arms still wrapped around each other, they eventually began making their way toward the homestead on foot.
Although stopping to collect his lightsaber, for now Anakin left the speederbike where it stood, fearing if he let go of Ahsoka she would turn into a desert mirage and disappear.
“Snips, what’s going on out there?” Anakin finally asked.
“Things are not good, Anakin,” she replied.
“The Clones and I managed to capture Maul on Mandalore, but after—Rex said the Chancellor called it ‘Order 66’—and all the Clones went crazy, Maul escaped. Somehow he linked back up with Palpatine, who continues to turn the Republic into his Empire after declaring himself Emperor. Maul is now his top lieutenant, and back to being Darth Maul,” Ahsoka told him.
From behind his mental barriers, Anakin contemplated her news. After he had not returned, Palpatine had apparently reconciled with his former apprentice to obtain a replacement.
Anakin could not help musing on how that was likely going.
Palpatine had once shared with him the tale of “Dark Plagueis the Wise,” who was not wise enough to avoid getting killed in his sleep by his apprentice after imparting everything he knew. Anakin now understood that Palpatine had been that apprentice who slew his master. Because that’s how the Sith Lord relationship worked, master helping the apprentice grow stronger to obtain their service—but not too strong—while the apprentice learnt as much as possible to try and one day become the master.
After Palpatine killed Maul’s brother, Savage, because of the Sith “Rule of Two,” Anakin suspected the Sith Master was sleeping with both eyes open—or more probably not sleeping at all.
“Maul has a bunch of Force sensitive ‘Inquisitors’ hunting down any surviving Jedi,” Ahsoka continued, “I got separated from Rex getting off Mandalore, and have been dodging them ever since. Beyond that, the Imperials are going around and imposing a new ‘Imperial Law’ everywhere—which basically turns people into indentured workers on their own land to serve the Imperial war machine.”
“That sounds horrible,” Anakin commented.
“Yeah, but I think the Imperials are over playing their hand,” Ahsoka said. “Everywhere I’ve been there’s been pockets of rebellion brewing. All it’s going to take is for someone to come along and organize all the factions, and then Palpatine will have another war on his hands—and not one where he controls both sides.”
“Bail Organa and Mon Monthma,” Anakin said, recalling Padmé’s close allies in the Senate.
“That would be my guess. Neither Mon Monthma or the Organas have children or any other ties that would stop them from one day just walking away sooner than they otherwise would to raise hell against the Imperials,” she finished.
“Well, so far Tatooine’s been too out of the way and sparsely populated to bother occupying. So until a rebellion starts up, let’s hope it stays that way for a good while,” Anakin said.
For a while they walked along in companionable silence.
As they neared the homestead, however, Anakin abruptly remembered there were some pretty significant gaps in her knowledge.
“Um, Ahsoka. There’s some stuff that I never told you that you need to know,” he began what would be a very awkward conversation.
She stopped walking and raised an eyebrow at him expectantly.
“Padmé and I were actually married,” Anakin said, as he scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.
“Well I guess with the Order gone I’m not surprised,” Ahsoka replied, “I bet Obi-Wan still freaked-”
“No, Snips you don’t understand,” Anakin corrected her sheepishly, “We were married for three years—before the Order fell.”
“But that would mean-” Ahsoka said, and Anakin could see her mentally doing the math.
“-That we were secretly married the whole time you were my padawan. Yes,” Anakin finished.
Ahsoka just stared at him in disbelief, both of her eyebrows now raised and traveling even further up her forehead.
Taking a deep breath, Anakin continued, “And there’s more-”
“More?!” Ahsoka interrupted.
“Before she died we had twins. Luke and Leia. They’re almost three now,” Anakin told her, unconsciously holding his breath as he waited for her reaction.
After standing in stunned silence for a moment, Ahsoka gave out a laugh.
“Wow. Obi-Wan must have really freaked!” she exclaimed merrily.
“Yes, Snips. Yes, he did,” Anakin said, relaxing at her acceptance and mirth.
They were almost home now.
As they walked past Padmé’s grave, Anakin glanced over and gratefully mumbled, “You’re cheating.”
He got the distinct impression of a smug smile in reply.
“Didn’t catch that,” Ahsoka told him.
“Nothing Snips,” Anakin said.
No sooner had they made their way down the main stairs into the open courtyard than they saw Obi-Wan bounding towards them.
“Look who I found,” Anakin said happily.
“Ahsoka?! I thought that was you I felt in the Force—but I just can’t believe you’re really here!” Obi-Wan cried, overcome with emotion as he pulled her into an embrace.
“Master Obi-Wan!” Ahsoka said with tears in her eyes.
As they broke apart, Ahsoka saw Artoo rolling towards them, with Threepio shuffling behind.
“Artoo-y! Threepio!” she squealed, rushing forward to greet the droids.
Artoo’s beeps sounded equally delighted, and Threepio exclaimed, “Mistress Ahsoka! Oh my!”
The Lars family soon heard the commotion and came to investigate.
Anakin saw that Beru had assumed that something had come up that needed Anakin’s immediate attention, and his kind stepsister-in-law had unquestioningly gotten the twins dressed and ready for the day.
Leia was in Beru’s arms, and Luke was riding with Cliegg in his hoverchair.
Anakin introduced Ahsoka to his stepfamily. Cliegg and Beru were gracious as always, and Owen managed to not be overtly rude.
“And these rascals,” Anakin paused to pick up his son, “are Luke and Leia,” he said, as Beru walked closer with his daughter.
“This is your Aunt Ahsoka,” he told the twins.
Ahsoka smiled at them.
The twins just looked at her shyly.
As they all found places to sit so they could continue talking, however, the toddlers soon insisted on being put down so they could cautiously approached her. Ahsoka slid to sit crossed legged on the ground to be more on their level, and Leia immediately climbed into her lap with Luke not far behind.
“I hope they’re not bothering you. I know you were fond of the Younglings,” Anakin said, not following that train of thought too far, “But I don’t know how you feel about really little kids.”
“Why wouldn’t I like them?” Ahsoka answered, looking up at him with a smile in her huge blue eyes, “Especially since they’re yours.”
Something in Anakin’s chest loosened. A small smiled tugged the corner of his mouth as he watched Ahsoka let Luke and Leia climb all over her—they found her white and blue-striped lekku fascinating.
Anakin was still winning his argument with Padmé . . . but he suddenly found himself on much shakier ground.