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Dojima was tired. They'd spent all day down at the precinct trying to sort out a case of breaking and entering that was rapidly starting to look like the victim had set the suspect up. They'd gotten conflicting stories and made little progress, and he was sick of the whole thing.
All he wanted to do was come home to a warm meal, take a shower, and sleep.
So when he came home to find an extra pair of shoes in the entryway, he was more than a little annoyed. "I'm home, Nanako," he said, before remembering that she was staying at a friend's house. No cheerful chirp to greet him, just the possibility of having to make small talk with Hanamura. Dojima recognized the shoes; there was no way he couldn't, not with how often Souji brought him over lately. A day didn't go by without Souji casually saying, "Oh, that reminds me, Yosuke did this, or Yosuke did that."
Dojima couldn't wait until Souji got a girlfriend and Hanamura became an old topic in the house.
He supposed he should say hello, at least, and let the two know he was there. There was no dinner on, another reason to be annoyed. Souji tended to get clumsy and forgetful when he was around Hanamura, though Dojima couldn't be too mad at that. Souji worked so hard at school and his part-time jobs, he was allowed to act like a regular teenager every once in a while.
Still, he would have liked dinner. He'd have to get take out, he guessed.
He could hear them talking as he climbed the stairs, but the words were…odd. They got odder the closer he went.
"You like that, right?" That was Hanamura's voice, loud as usual. Kid had no volume control.
"Y-yes." And that was…Souji? Dojima had never heard him stutter.
"You want to taste it, right?"
Souji…moaned. "Yes."
Dojima had a sinking feeling they weren't talking about Pocky.
"Tell me. Say…" He couldn't hear the end of that.
"Yosuke," Souji begged, "please let me suck your cock."
Dojima was sure they weren't talking about Pocky now.
He opened the door to a scene he could have done without ever seeing: Hanamura standing over Souji, one hand in his hair and a lazy grin on his face. Souji was on his knees and in a skirt – a skirt, long and black, the kind schoolgirls wore – with—
Oh God.
—Hanamura's dick his mouth, eyes closed in an expression of absolute bliss as he sucked. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't notice him standing in the doorway staring or hear the sound of his brain breaking.
Hanamura toed the very obvious bulge in Souji's skirt and, sounding more confident than Dojima was used to hearing him (and hornier than Dojima ever wanted to hear him), said, "It looks like you've got something interesting hiding under there. Let me see."
Dojima's brain started to work again right as Souji whimpered and started to pull his skirt up.
"What the hell is going on?!"
The terrified look on Hanamura's face would have been funny any other time, as would the way he yelped and tripped backwards over his own feet. Souji looked more confused than startled and a little disappointed that his fun had been interrupted.
Wait, was this why he spent so much time at Junes?
"Dojima-san, you—!"
"Not a word, Hanamura." Dojima covered his eyes, trying to block out the image of Hanamura struggling with his pants, erect dick waving frantically, and Souji pressing his hands over his lap to hide his erection. "I want you both downstairs in one minute so you can explain this…this…this to me."
He'd given them the minute to get themselves in order and grab himself a cup of coffee (on a timer, it didn't rely on Souji getting it started. Dojima was thankful of that now). Hanamura was back in his pants when he came downstairs but Souji—
"Why are you still wearing that?" Dojima almost dropped his mug.
"I thought having the talk was more important than changing," Souji said, taking a seat at the cluttered kitchen table. Hanamura sat next to him and Souji tugged his chair closer, the legs squeaking against the floor.
Hanamura threw Dojima another terrified glance. Souji just looked happier with their new positions.
Dojima decided to ignore it. "So what exactly is up with," he gestured at them vaguely, "this?"
"No one was home so we decided to…have some fun," Souji said, sneaking a look at Hanamura, who went red.
"Just out of the blue? Got bored and…"
"We're dating."
Well, there went Dojima's hopes of Souji getting a girlfriend and cutting back on talk about Hanamura. "And you're the girl, huh?" he asked with a sigh.
"No."
"There isn't a girl," Hanamura said, looking confused.
Right, just…Souji in a skirt. He hadn't even put on a wig; his bowl cut, messy now, kind of threw the whole thing off.
"Look, I know kids want to experiment and…" He had never imagined himself having this kind of conversation. He didn't want to have this kind of conversation. "Anyway, what if Nanako had been home?"
"I would never do this while Nanako was home. I called her to make sure she was still going to stay the night," Souji said. "I know better than that."
Yeah, he did and Dojima knew that too. "And the whole…dialogue I heard?"
"I like it when Yosuke makes me say dirty things." Souji forgot himself and stared hard at Hanamura. The way he said it certainly sounded dirty. "It gets me…excited."
Hanamura choked, face as red as his pants. Dojima hoped, desperately, that Souji was wearing boxers under that skirt (though he had the dreadful feeling that he wasn't). At least the table kept him from having to see.
"Is this what that whole partners nickname thing is about?" They'd been calling each other that almost since Souji had moved here. Had he missed something so obvious?
"No," Hanamura said, speaking up finally. "That—we were partners before we were…partners."
That clarified things.
"We didn't start going out until a while after that," Souji added.
Dojima took a sip of coffee, stalling for time. "So you like boys, huh?"
"Yes."
Hanamura just nodded stiffly.
"That's fine." It wasn't Dojima's business who they hooked up with. "You...you're being safe, right? Getting checkups, using condoms—"
Hanamura covered his face and groaned.
"Look, I don’t want to talk about this either but you were doing it under my roof so it's my business," Dojima snapped.
"We haven't had sex yet," Souji said with no hint of embarrassment. "And both Yosuke and I were virgins before this—"
"Partner," Hanamura hissed, like Dojima might actually care that he hadn't managed to get any before he got with his nephew.
"—but we're very aware of how to take care of ourselves."
"Well, that’s—that's good."
He tried to think of something else to cover but he was tired and hungry and wanted to forget this whole thing ever happened. "One last question: why Hanamura?"
Hanamura looked insulted. It was incredibly rude, Dojima knew, but – Hanamura? Souji was popular; he could have gotten anyone he wanted. Why the Junes kid who crashed his bike every week?
"I like Yosuke."
The pair exchanged lovesick glances. Hanamura even managed a smile and unless Dojima missed his guess they were holding hands under the table.
He stared at his coffee mug and remembered a time when he'd done the same. He tried to ignore the way his heart ached.
"Go ahead and get your stuff together, Hanamura. I think it's about time you went home."
"Yes, sir. Sorry about this." Hanamura sped out of the room and up the stairs, relief obvious.
Dojima and Souji stared at each other awkwardly.
"Just tell me one thing, Souji…why a skirt?"
Souji blushed and smiled. "Yosuke likes the way it looks when I get—"
"That's it," Dojima said, throwing up his hands, "I don’t want to know."
"…Hey, can I…go help Yosuke get ready?"
It didn't take two people to gather his stuff but Dojima relented. "You've got five minutes."
It took them ten, and Hanamura left with a dopey grin on his face that he couldn't quite hide. It was two weeks before he and Dojima were able to meet eyes again.