Chapter Text
Out of Place
“You alright?”
Daniel nodded, albeit hesitant. He was nervous. “Yeah, m’fine.”
He clears his throat. “I’m fine.” He corrects himself. Such a small difference, but immediately noticeable.
Johnny looks down at his boyfriends hands, tightly together and fighting the urge to bring one up to his mouth, to bite his nails. It had always been a habit.
“Come on,” His hand remains on his lower back, leading him towards the table and sitting him down between him and Laura. He wanted him to feel safe, and there was no safer place than between them, as far as he was concerned.
“Hi, Daniel.” Laura smiled, noticing him becoming slightly fidgety under the gaze of surrounding guests.
“Hi… Mrs Lawrence.” He usually called her Laura, but for some reason it felt wrong here.
She gestures gently to him. “You look lovely, very nicely dressed.”
His eyes flicker down to his tableware. Maybe she was lying. She had to be. He wasn’t in a suit jacket and nice, pressed pants like Johnny. A dark blazer and some khaki trousers were the nicest he’d got. No jewelry or wrist watch like Johnny, either. His gold watch was a perfect match to the clip on his black tie.
Mrs. Lawrence always wore diamonds in her ears. Long, narrow strips of glittery lines that Daniel knew to be real because of how they refracted the light.
He looked down at his cheaply made, fake leather loafers.
He smiles anyway. No need to be under dressed and without manners. “Thank you, you look really pretty.”
“Why thank you. You two look just cute like this, all dressed up.”
Slowly, he lets out a breath when Johnny takes his hand under the table. For them it wasn’t just where Daniel was from or how he talked, it was them being together in general, that made it that much worse.
Johnny had never seen him so nervous. He’d been gnawing at his lip the whole time, and Johnny had to occasionally stop him before he inevitably made himself bleed.
Evidently, one of Sid’s friends kept side-eyeing him at the table as they talked, and Johnny just hoped he’d keep his mouth shut.
But as per usual, luck wasn’t on his side.
“It’s nice to see you, John. Sid tells me you’ve been accepted to Princeton. That’s a fine school, son. You should be proud.”
Johnny nods, smiling. “Yes, thank you.”
“And what are you going for?”
“Economics and Business.”
“Excellent, carrying on with Lormiar, are you?”
Daniel eyes them both, back and forth as Johnny makes polite conversation, evidently none too enthused.
“This is Daniel.”
Daniel blinks himself back to earth.
“Sorry?”
He looks at the man, mild confusion on his face.
“Where are you attending college in the fall?” He asks.
Daniel utterly blanks. “Um, I– I actually haven’t gotten that far yet.”
In his nervous state, the accent was noticeable.
“Are you not going to college?”
Daniel is quick to correct him. “Oh no, it’s not like I ain’t going at all, I just didn’t know what I wanted to do yet, is all…” His words sound clumsy, awkwardly said, and it’s clear from the man’s expression that it’s not at all well-received.
Daniel’s eyes go back to his plate.
“Ah, I see.”
Johnny can feel him tense up. Under the table, his hand is squeezed.
“Well, I hope you’re not planning on majoring in English.”
There’s a chuckle, and Laura scowls, crossing her arms. “Actually, he’s looking to teach English as a second language, overseas.” She turns to him. “Isn’t that right, Daniel?”
He nods, a bit dumbly.
She continues. “It’s a very fulfilling position. No need to go to school for years, either. It’ll be much more useful. In high demand, too.”
Johnny internally winces. His mother had good intentions, but she may have just inadvertently made things a whole lot worse for him.
“No college education, and teaching English? No wonder these people don’t know how to speak when they come over here.”
He addresses Daniel again, leaning in a little closer. “Perhaps a trade would suit you better, young man.”
Now Daniel scowls, meeting the man’s eyes. “I can speak English just fine, ya know. Having a little accent ain’t a problem.”
The man straightens a little. “Well, I’d encourage you not to use that kind of vocabulary in proper settings. It’s not very nice to listen to.”
Daniel opens his mouth, and Laura’s wine glass comes down a bit hard.
“Bill, really can you leave him alone? He speaks fine. Sheryl is from Brooklyn, you’re never on her case, and she doesn’t so much speak the language as she chews it up and spits it out.”
“He’s talking like a hood, Laura. He can’t speak proper English and he wants to teach it?”
One of Daniel’s hands goes to his mouth, gnawing away at one of his nails. Johnny is glowering.
“He is not talking like a hood.”
“Well, he can at least look at me when I’m speaking to him. John, you should consider the friends you keep. What happened to that nice boy, what was his name, Robert?”
“Bobby, he goes by Bobby. Why do you refuse to call him that?”
Johnny’s hand tightens around his. “Not that it’s any of your concern, but Daniel is my boyfri–”
Daniel stands, effectively cutting Johnny off with the clanking of silverware and the spilling of Laura’s too-full water glass, another thing that doesn’t go unnoticed.
“I need some air.”
Bill rolls his eyes, dabbing at the tablecloth with his cloth napkin. “Try not to cause a complete disaster on your way out.”
Daniel’s cheeks get pink, embarrassment mixed with a barely concealed temper, and turns and heads out the nearest exit from the hall, Johnny quick on his trail.
By the time Johnny reaches him, he’s at his car with his head bowed. One hand holding onto the door, another at his face.
Johnny approaches slowly, but Daniel can hear the gravel beneath his feet.
“Daniel?”
He doesn’t look up. “This was a horrible idea.”
“I’m sorry–”
“It ain’t your fault.. Look at me, I shouldn't’ve bothered, this was doomed from the start.”
“Daniel, don’t say that…” He steps closer, but Daniel flinches away when he goes to remove his arm from his face, an audible sniffle making its way to Johnny’s ears.
Johnny immediately drops his hand, shoulders slumping.
He pauses a minute, standing beside him in lieu of anything comforting to say, until the urge to hug him shakes him out of his stillness.
“Please don’t cry, its okay, I’ll tell my mom we’re going home and we can just spend the night together like we were planning to, we can get out of these stupid clothes and go to the beach or something.”
Daniel’s face goes to his chest, involuntarily wiping his nose across Johnny’s collar. “M’sorry…”
Johnny shakes his head. “No, don’t apologize, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. He was insulting you, that was awful.”
He holds him, one hand in his hair and one on his back, rubbing soothing circles and Daniels sniffles wind down. Daniel pulls back, still looking a little wet under the eyes. Johnny places both hands gently on his face, wiping under his eye.
“Well, now I have an excuse to never return there ever again.”
Daniel pouts. “I’ve ruined it for you.”
“Hardly, I hated going there anyway, you’ve given me a reason to refuse it.”
Daniel doesn’t smile, voice taking on a flat, depressed tone. “This’ll probably happen again.”
“I’m not taking you here again, I told you–”
“I don’t just mean here Johnny. I don’t belong anywhere like this with you. Anywhere that requires a dress code or any of the nice places your mom likes to go, like the country club or a art gallery. I couldn’t even make it through a stupid dinner… I don’t belong anywhere you go.”
Now embarrassed of his emotional state, he lowers his head again in attempt to conceal his face, but Johnny doesn’t let him hide for very long.
“That’s ridiculous, you can’t let one prick dictate where I take you from now on. I have lots of places I want to take you.” Johnny let’s out a breath. “I really like you, there isn’t much anyone can do about that, except you, if you want. And even then, I’ll probably try to convince you otherwise…”
Daniel leans heavily against his chest, gaze shifting from one eye to the other. “I don’t want.” He shakes his head. “I mean… I like you, of course I still want you.. gah, I can’t even speak-”
Johnny leans in closer. Daniel stops talking and tilts his head, but there is no kiss, only words.
“Please repeat after me.”
Daniel blinks. “Why?”
“Because. Just do it.”
“Fine.”
“I am right where I belong.”
Silence.
“Do it, say it.”
Daniel sighs, repeats, and stares at Johnny, deadpan and unconvincing. Johnny rolls his eyes.
“Oh come on.”
“This is useless.”
“No it’s not–”
“This isn’t going to change anything. I still stand out! I’m not you, I’m not like you, get it?”
For a moment, Johnny’s expression falls at Daniel’s outburst, brows knitting together in confusion.
“Yes, but that’s why I like you… I don’t need someone to parade around and be some kind of status symbol, get it?”
His hands have slipped from his face and down to his neck, and he gently guides his head forwards again as he places a small kiss to his mouth.
“I like you a lot, I really do. Anywhere I bring you, you have every right to be there. You belong where I go just as I belong where you go. If anyone wants to say you don’t belong anywhere with me, then I don’t wanna be there.” He looks pointedly at him hoping he gets it. He leans in again, and any chance of Daniel spewing out an argument is effectively silenced.
When they pull back Daniel is smiling a little, looking genuinely happier than he had the whole night. They stand there, taking each other in, looking up at the night sky.
“Can you repeat that now, and mean it?”
“You proved your point–”
“C'mon, it'll make me happy.”
Daniel looks up to the stars, feeling silly.
“And look at me while you say it.” Johnny adds.
Daniel’s hands go to his boyfriend's face, mimickong his actions from before. Johnny’s eyes are a beautiful blue. They look just right on him.
“I am right where I belong.”
One corner of Johnny’s mouth curls up. “Where do you belong?”
“Anywhere with you.”
Johnny grins, and another kiss is pressed to Daniel’s nose.
“That’s right.”