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Every one of Reid’s ancestors succumbed to seduction of their power. They lost control and paid with their lives so why would his fate be any different?
Reid was impulsive, he could be hot headed, he hated to lose and to be told no but he wasn’t an idiot, he knew as soon as he came into his full power that he would follow in the footsteps as his father, his grandfather and all who came before him.
So why bother trying to change fate?
Reid payed close attention to Caleb and Pogue after they ascended and noticed the changes to their behaviour, it was subtle, only those who truly knew them would be able to pick up on it. Every move they made was controlled, restrained, like any wrong movement could shatter their fragile exterior and let lose all the dark temptations they fought to keep buried deep inside.
That’s when Reid discovered he really was screwed because his ascension was nearing and even on their worst days, Pogue and Caleb had better self-control than Reid on his best days.
Reid didn’t want to live like that. He didn’t want a live a life on egg shells, too scared to do anything and awake the beast inside of him. He’d live the life he wanted to; it just wouldn’t be a particularly long one.
And Reid was completely find with that (or so he told himself) but then he would think of her and start to feel like a real jackass.
She was Bonnie, his close friend of many years and girlfriend of barely one year. Reid had always loved her, from the moment he met her when they were just ten years old. He was always at his best when he was with her. Where he was hot headed and always getting into fights, she was calm and usually preventing his ass from getting the kicking it almost always deserved.
He loved her more than anything and anyone and because of that he had to do something. He couldn’t change his fate, that much he was sure of and he didn’t want Bonnie to see him like this, to watch him wither away and die.
He tried to push her away, he tried everything. He flirted with other girls while she was around, he neglected her, didn’t pay attention to her when they spent time together, never answered her calls or texts, hell, he even made out with another girl knowing she would see it but she refused to leave. She knew what he was doing, she knew his fears.
She didn’t say anything to him but she confided in Pogue which ended with Reid getting his ass kicked. All of this must have turned Reid into a masochist because he relished in beating he got from his brother.
After that he started provoking whoever he could into fights, mostly Aaron and his asshole friends but he even managed to press the right buttons with Caleb one night (while Bonnie was around) but unlike Pogue, Caleb didn’t use his fists or feet. He used his power.
Baby Boy was there to get him back to his feet after Pogue calmed Caleb down and Bonnie just stood off to the side, cheeks tear stricken and suddenly all the euphoria he felt drained and he went back to feeling like the lowest piece of shit on the Earth’s surface.
He pushed Tyler off him and limped away from his brothers and girlfriend. He didn’t have to look back to know that by now Pogue already had Bonnie wrapped up in his arms.
Reid spent the night waiting for Bonnie’s calls and texts but none came through and he knew he had finally done it. He’d pushed her too far and instead of the relief he thought he’d feel he felt a pain in his chest and for the first time since he was six years old, he cried.
He cried for his father, for the rest of his fallen family, for his mother who has had to put up with his shit for too long now, for not being the brother he should be to the boys when all they’ve tried to do was help and for hurting the only salvation he’s ever known.
He picked up his phone and dialled her number, she didn’t answer so he kept ringing her until she did. He must have called her twenty times before she finally picked up. She didn’t say anything but her picking up was enough for him. He told her he needed to see her and begged her to meet him at their spot.
Reid got there before she did.
Their spot was a cliff ledge, the one that looked over where most of the parties took place. The two of them often found themselves up here while parties took place.
Reid was standing right on the ledge, his toes hanging off the edge as he looked down, barely able to see the ground below and for a split second he envisioned what it’d be like to step over, without the aid of his powers bringing him safely to the ground like he’d done many times before.
It’d be a quick end. He’d have no more problems to worry about. He wouldn’t have to fear he’d end up like his father, a forty year old man looking like he was a hundred years old. Reid didn’t want it to get to that point.
“You know I hate it when you stand so close to the edge,” he could barely hear her over the whipping of the wind around them.
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t even turn around to look at her. He kicked a loose bit of rock off the cliff and watched it fall until it was covered by the darkness of the night and he could no longer see it.
“I don’t want to end up like him,” he said.
“I know,” she replied softly.
“I don’t want to do to you what he did to her,” he continued, thinking of his parents. His mother was all alone and refused to move on from his as good as dead father. He knew Bonnie would do the same, stand by him even when he couldn’t stand. She deserved so much better than that, than him. “I love you,” he told her and he leaned forward ever so slightly.
“I know,” she said again, but this time her voice was thick with emotion, he could almost hear the tears falling. “I also know that none of that is going to happen,” she said. “You’re not going to end up like your father, and we are not going to end up like your parents.”
“Can’t fight fate, Bon.”
“Then answer me this, Reid, why haven’t you used your powers?”
Reid froze, not sure why she was asking that.
“You’ve been so afraid that you’re going to end up like your dad that you haven’t even realised that you haven’t used once since you ascended.”
He slowly turned around to face her.
“You’re not him, Reid, and you’re never going to be,” she said and took a step towards him, her hand reaching for his. “You can control this power, Reid. You’ve been doing it for months already.”
He took her hand, their fingers entwining. Reid looked down at their hands but said nothing.
“It’s not your fate to be him.”
He looked up at her; he could see her fierce love and determination through her tears. “What if it is?”
“It’s not,” she answered firmly and held his hand tighter and started to walk backwards, slowly moving him away from the ledge. “But you need to hold onto that fear, Reid,” she told him. “That fear is what’s going to stop you from losing yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, softly. “For everything, for how I’ve been treating you. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
“No, I didn’t,” she agreed and grabbed his other hand, “but I get why you were doing it.”
“I need you, Bon,” he admitted and pressed his forehead against hers, eyes closing.
“You have me,” she whispered. “You always have. Just talk to me, Reid, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”
He touched his lips to hers in a barely there kiss. “You being here helps me,” he said and he let go of her hands so he could cup her face. “I love you so much, Bonnie,” he said and kissed her again, with more pressure and intent than the last.
Bonnie told him his fate wasn’t what he feared it would be but he knew it was and he had been walking into it. He might not have been using his powers but he would have started to soon enough. He still wasn’t okay and he probably wouldn’t be for a while but he knew eventually he would be. There was still a lot for him to work through concerning his family and the power he had but with Bonnie and his brothers, he was sure he’d figure it out.
Reid could change his fate, it was never too late.