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Jaime continued down the corridor with the noises of the feast fading behind him, each turned corner further drowning out the chorus of drunken singing and shouting. Jaime’s awareness of his own heartbeat increased as he journeyed deeper into the castle and the sound of his heart pounding replaced the distant sounds of the feast. He could feel the pulsing sensation in his hand, a feeling he usually associated with the rise of tension before a battle, but instead of a sword his hand clenched tightly around the handle of a wine pitcher.
He paused to rearrange the two goblets he was cradling in the crook of his elbow, turned a corner, and continued down the final stretch of hallway. Jaime paused at the door. Despite all efforts made to bring himself to this very spot, hesitation now crept its way in, leaving him frozen at the entrance of her room. He knew she left because she wanted to be alone, but he could not just let her be, he never had been able to. She would keep him locked out indefinitely if she could, and he would spend the rest of his life poking and prodding at her just to catch of glimpse of the warmth that was Brienne. Her sapphire blue gaze, the blush that always crept from her neck to her hairline, the heat that radiated from her when they shared a bedroll, back to back. She was a source of light in his darkness, even if he never told her. He should have told her. He still could, he still had the opportunity to turn around, but it was that final push from deep within him, the sort of nauseous and full of wine part, that lifted his arm and knocked on the door, almost of its own accord.
Brienne had been tending to the fire when she heard a knock on the door. The north was always so much colder than she remembered, the frigid air seemed to permeate through her skin and envelope every inch of her body from the inside out, no matter how many layers she wore. Freezing, tired, and with the determination of a drunk person in need of a warm bed to lie on, Brienne ditched the feast and went straight to her bedchamber. She didn’t think of Tyrion’s cruel joke or Jaime and Pod’s pained expressions of sympathy when she had refused to address the question of her maidenhood. She thought only of the ache in her feet and the soft bed awaiting her return. Jaime had always known she was a maid, surely, he had mocked her for it enough in the beginning, so this did not particularly embarrass her. No, she simply needed to be left alone with no one poking fun at her, pitying her, or—in Tormund’s case—fooling themselves into believing that the near-death experience of battle would be enough to push her into his arms.
She immediately lit a fire when she entered the bedchamber so that by the time she had the full fire going, the room was filled with a comforting and dense warmth that radiated from the fireplace. After removing her coat and boots, Brienne busied herself preparing her bed, layering heavy quilts and a fur blanket to provide additional protection from the cold. In her thin tunic and trousers, however, the room was now at a comfortable temperature. She returned to the fire and continued tending to it so that her room would be the optimal temperature, allowing her to fall asleep before the chill crept back in. This was when she heard a hard knock on the door and jolted up from her seat in front of the fire.
The door opened a crack and Jaime saw Brienne hesitantly peek through before seeing him and opening the door all the way. “Ser Jaime,” the clear surprise in her voice gave him one last rush of uncertainty before courage took over and he confidently replied “Ser Brienne.” The blush creeping up on her face at being referred to as Ser was all the invitation he needed and he marched his way through the door, walking past Brienne and placing the wine and goblets on the small table next to the fire.
“I’ve brought wine,” he gestured to the pitcher.
“Yes, I can see that” Brienne responded hesitantly. Her blue eyes darted from the wine to his face, confused. Now Jaime realized he had come up with no good excuse for his presence in her bedchamber.
“Well, you didn’t take your drink at the feast so I’ve brought you one,” Jaime grinned at her, hoping this counted as a valid reason for barging into her bedchamber.
“I don’t need one, everyone knew I was going to take that drink and I didn’t want to” she looked right at him, a mixture of defiant and resigned, daring him to mock her.
“Well,” said Jaime, amused by her forthrightness, “at the very least it will keep you warm and help you sleep.” He couldn’t quite look her in the eye but couldn’t look away from her either. The glow of the fire illuminated her features, her blue eyes shone and the light reflected off of her blonde hair, her cheeks still a bit flushed pink from the cold. He desperately wanted to reach over and brush her cheek, he had restrained himself from doing so at the feast. He had restrained from doing it many times over the years. But now his want was stronger than ever, threatening to burst from him at the slightest provocation. Since the battle, he could hardly keep it to himself, but fear held him back. Coming to the north, facing death, surviving it all, he couldn’t believe he almost didn’t live to tell her. Jaime reluctantly pulled his gaze from her to focus on pouring the wine which, even with practice, was not as easy as it once was. Brienne immediately rushed to hold the goblets still as he poured wine into them, grabbing hers and handing him his. Always silently accommodating, always there when he needed more than one hand. Her large, strong hands brushed his as he took the goblet, their warmth leaving a feverish imprint on his skin. He gave her a suggestive look when she took the goblet.
“Well this isn’t the game is it? This is only drinking” she said taking the wine.
“I agree Ser Brienne, and it is therefore a much more honorable drink to take,” he sipped his wine, letting his jest hang in the air, not breaking eye contact with her. He was teasing her, as always, hoping to keep the conversation in familiar territory for the moment. Her eyes darted away from his as she sipped her wine. He couldn’t help noticing that her eyelashes cast a shadow on her cheeks when she looked down.
“Brienne” he said, the informality of his address capturing her attention.
“Yes,” she said, bringing her cup down from her mouth, the wine still glistening a bit on her lips. Her lips. Jaime was struck silent by them. He had known what he was going to say, he had known it all evening, he had known it all along if he was being honest with himself, but now words escaped him.
“Must you keep it quite so hot in here?” he blurted out, and as if to emphasize this he began to take off his coat. It was true, he had begun to sweat but that had more to do with Brienne’s presence than the temperature in the room. It was a relief but he immediately regretted saying it was hot. Not only was it not what he had meant to say to her, she now had to watch him struggle to take his coat off with his one hand. She remained seated while he tried to take off the coat, watching him with a curious expression on her face.
Something was wrong with Jaime. He was stuttering, sweating, and now trying to take off his coat in her bedchamber. Brienne was not a complete idiot, she had an idea about why he might have come. His reaction to Tormund’s advances told her enough to know he at least harbored some feeling for her, or perhaps that he simply empathized with her and found Tormund repulsive on her behalf, just as she did. Although she had little interest in taking the risk of insinuating any romantic feelings, she was curious to see what it was he actually wanted. She knew what she wanted, she had always known, but as for getting what she wanted—Brienne had only considered it in flights of fancy, knowing better than to invest in such an unlikely outcome. However, she was so surprised that they were both alive that at this point nothing could shock her.
“Oh, sit down!” she ordered, watching him take his seat, sweaty and out of breath.
Jaime was not as young as he used to be and accommodating his missing hand became increasingly difficult, though he would never admit it. Still, his handsome features had aged well and the grey in his hair and beard softened his expression somehow. His eyes bored into hers as intensely as always, giving her that familiar sensation of nakedness she always got around him. She could feel the blush making its way to her face again.
“Brienne” Jaime repeated, “I..I am sorry for barging into your bedchamber like this .”
Brienne remained silent, but waited expectantly for him to continue, whatever he was going to say, she wasn’t going to help him get there. Jaime abruptly got up from the table, nearly knocking over the wine.
“Sorry…maybe I should…” he stuttered quietly, making his way to the door.
“Wait” interrupted Brienne, and she stood clumsily grabbing his hand with hers, and they were eye to eye, less than an arm’s length apart. He looked at her with a fierce expression and before she could say anything more he took a step forward, grabbed her face and placed a soft, brief, kiss on her lips. She pulled away, searching his face for assurance that this was not some sort of joke. She then leaned in and kissed him back, trusting that his bid for affection was genuine.
Brienne’s lips were surprisingly soft, brushing against his with a hesitancy that he attributed to lack of experience, rather than a lack of interest in his kiss. He had wanted it to go so much more smoothly than this but looking at her, her pink lips just inches from his, he couldn’t help himself. It was like something inside him propelled him forward and before he knew it he was holding her face in his hand, with his other arm wrapped around her, kissing her like he had never kissed anyone before. It was the sort of kiss that didn’t need a destination, he could stand there kissing her—just kissing her—all night.
He coaxed her mouth open with his, slipping his tongue between her cold slick lips and pulled her closer to him. With her body pressed up against his, Brienne relaxed into him, pushing her fingers through his hair and kissing him back with more enthusiasm than before. Jaime began to make his way with his lips to her jawline and down her throat. Kissing her soft skin and feeling her pulse beneath his lips, he made his way down to the top of her chest and back up to her face, her skin blushing red as he did so.
“Can I take this off?” he whispered into her ear, gently tugging up the fabric of her tunic as he did so. She nodded yes and she helped him pull her tunic up over her head and removed his tunic for him. Once they were kissing and holding each other skin to skin, Jaime could feel himself hardening against his trousers. Knowing she must be feeling him too he pulled away and looked right at her.
“I want you Brienne, and I want you to have as much of me as you want.” She gave him a long look, glancing down at his lips and combing her fingers through his chest hair.
“I would like that very much” she whispered, blushing as she said it.
Brienne’s heart was pounding as Jaime led her to her bed. She laid down without instruction, watching him as he took off his boots but left on his pants. Hers were also still on and she appreciated that he hasn’t tried to take them off yet. He lowered himself onto her, nestling himself between her legs so she could feel his hardness on her. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at her before kissing her again, this time more forcefully. She felt herself intuitively wrapping her legs around him, drawing him closer to her as she opened herself up to him. His breath seemed to catch at this, a sharp inhale followed by a light moan escaped him as she wrapped herself around him. His skin felt soft and warm against hers, his chest hair tickling her breasts pressed up against him. He started to lower himself down to her neck, kissing, sucking, and licking the delicate skin there as he brought his hand up to her breast. Kneading her breast with his hand, he thumbed her nipple, sending a mild shock to her groin. He continued kissing down until he got to her breasts and put one in his mouth. She let out an involuntary moan as he sucked on her breasts, her nipples hardening under his touch and the skin of her breasts pulling taught with goosebumps. She felt him harden slightly at her moan and he whispered her name as he kissed down past her breasts, down her stomach, and all the way down to her hips.
When he reached the top of her trousers, he gently caressed her waist, placing gentle but urgent kisses above the waistline of her trousers. He looked up at her from between her legs and they made eye contact, her breath caught in her chest at the intensity in his eyes as he looked at her. She caught a mischievous flicker in his expression that made her smile slightly.
“May I?” he paused and grinned up at her, “Ser Brienne?” he asked as he, now propping himself up on his knees, rubbed the mound between her legs with the flat of his hand, making his way back up to the waist of her trousers, fingering at the drawstring. Brienne let out a chuckle and soft moan at the tone of deference when he said her name, the thrilling sensation of his touch. She nodded, helping him to remove her trousers and underclothes. She could see Jaime’s hardness underneath his trousers as he rose to remove hers, but he made no move to remove his own. He instead returned himself between her legs and lowered himself on top of her. The pressure of his weight on her soothed her nerves while simultaneously prompting a rush of blood downward at the feel of his trousers against her nakedness. Jaime kissed her, deeply and fiercely, as he ran his hand down her body and lifted her leg up and around his waist, running his hand up and down her thigh, settling it on her buttocks. He grinded himself into her, gripping her hip and pulling her against him as he moaned into her mouth. Shifting his weight onto his elbow, he fondled her breast, pinching her nipple as he did, and ran his hand down her body once more, this time over her stomach, pausing just above the thick blonde bushel of hair between her thighs.
“Can I touch you?” he asked, pulling away from her lips to look her in the eye. She gave him a blazing look and nodded. She felt her desire ignited by his touch as he ran his fingers between her lips, paying special attention to the nub that was the core of her pleasure. She bucked her hips against his hand as he pleasured her and then, without warning, he stopped. She opened her eyes and looked up to see him gazing at her, admiringly, longingly.
Brienne’s wetness nearly sent Jaime over the edge and he hadn’t even gotten his trousers off. The slickness between her lips a clear indication of her arousal, should he have had any doubts. He marveled in watching her, navigating her with his fingers, finding the bundle of nerves above her entrance. He watched her, her eyes closed, her mouth open, as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. She was magnificent, her skin warm, her moans gentle but unrestrained. He loved that he got to see her like this, giving herself over to him completely, letting him take control for once. He savored her expression, and the vision of her with pleasure rippling through her body, before taking his hand away. Her eyes shot open and she looked up at him, caught off guard and breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling, her mouth slightly open.
“Don’t worry Ser Brienne” he said, caressing her cheek and placing a gentle kiss on her lips, “I am going to give you what you want, just not like this.” And he rose, repositioning himself between her thighs but this time resting on his chest and elbows so that his head was directly between her legs. He could feel her trembling slightly as he kissed the soft inside of her strong milky thighs, nibbling at the soft fleshy parts of her just below her entrance. He loved the soft parts of Brienne, the parts seen by no one but him. He teased her a bit more before parting her lips with his tongue. She let out a moan as she reached her hand down and ran her fingers through his hair, gripping him in place as his tongue moved up and down her, penetrating her lips and flicking at the bundle of nerves between them. He hardened at her taste, the familiar scent of her musk that was now so concentrated he was dizzy with want. He needed her, he couldn’t get enough of her as he buried his face into her, practically consuming her with his tongue. He needed to be inside of her, his hard cock twitched at the thought. But first wanted her to finish, to feel her wetness on him as she climaxed.
Brienne looked down at Jaime energetically pleasuring her with his mouth. She felt the tension in her body rising somewhere deep in her core and she panted, unable to keep quiet. “Jaime” she breathed, the tension continuing to mount until it burst and she felt herself lose control, spasming with pleasure and grinding herself onto Jaime’s face as she finished chasing her desire. She immediately felt every muscle in her body relax, her chest was heaving up and down and she was gasping for air as if she had been holding her breath this entire time. Slightly embarrassed, she looked down at Jaime who was wiping his face and grinning at her with a triumphant look in his eyes. She could taste a hint of herself on his lips when he brought himself back up to kiss her.
“It is a pleasure serving under your command, Ser Brienne” Jaime jested as he laid down beside her, drawing her into his embrace. She rested her head on his chest while she composed herself, her head still spinning. Jaime caressed his fingers through her hair while she caught her breath and kissed her damp forehead. With her head on his chest, she could feel his heart beating hard and fast and could hear his shallow breaths. She ran her fingers through his thick, graying chest hair, and moved her hand over his body.
Until now she hadn’t had the opportunity to really look at him, to feel him. He may not have the young and taught body she remembered from the baths at Harrenhal, but he was as strong and muscular as before with a warm softness to him that added to his appeal. She also felt a comfort with his naked form now that she hadn’t back then, which only increased her desire for him. She looked down at his hardness, so engorged against his trousers it looked like he might rip through them. She knew he was waiting for her, letting her decide what she wanted from him, letting her decide if she was ready. Brienne knew she was ready, she had been intent on preserving her maidenhood from those who wished to breach it forcefully, but she had not intended on remaining a maid forever. She had always longed for the touch of a man, one who cared for her and would make her feel safe and desirable. It was not by choice that no such man had come along, but still she had waited. Now, with Jaime, she knew she was ready. She had wanted it so desperately since those baths in Harrenhal that she had dared not even think about it, fearing the disappointment of wanting what she could not have. Now she didn’t even feel like this was real, although she knew it was. She knew Jaime and she knew that he would not take her maidenhood lightly, he was a man of honor. She felt a flutter in her stomach as she moved her hand down and gently felt his hardness over his trousers. He looked at her when she touched him.
“Brienne” he exhaled, his voice gravely with desire.
She kissed him and then began do undo the drawstring of his trousers, busying herself by looking at what her hands were doing. When she began to pull them off, she looked back up at him and saw him looking at her, wide-eyed. She pulled his trousers all the way off and discarded them onto the floor, returning to lie back next to him on the bed, as he had done with her previously. She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned down to kiss him, grabbing his face with her hand and tilting it upward to meet hers. Her hand traveled down his chest and stomach, arriving at his cock she gripped it gently in her hand. A moan escaped from Jaime and she pulled away, looking at his open mouth and his eyes which rolled back into his head before closing. She looked down at his cock, exploring it with her hand, feeling the silky warm skin as she moved her hand up and down, Jaime gently guiding her. She was surprised by how aroused she was just looking at it, feeling it in her hand. Knowing that Jaime was so sexually attracted her gave her confidence and made her desperately want to know him. She began to kiss his chest while stroking him, nervously kissing down his body until she reached his cock, poised to put it in her mouth so she could pleasure him as he had done her.
“Brienne wait,” interrupted Jaime, holding her face still with his hand.
“Did I do something wrong?” asked Brienne, embarrassed by her inexperience.
“No, no, not at all,” he smiled at her and she let out a sigh of relief, lifting herself back up so they were face to face.
“I just will enjoy that so much that I doubt I would last long enough to have you,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear.
“Oh” said Brienne, still a bit embarrassed by her own boldness. Jaime sensing he may have unsettled her pushed her onto her back, rolling himself on top of her and began kissing her wildly, unrestrained.
“Brienne” he whispered between kisses, “I would very much like to ravish you now,” he looked at her, grinning a little at the boldness of his own request. He gently nudged her legs apart, arranging himself between them. She looked at him, her sapphire eyes wide with anticipation. “I promise to go slow and tell me if you want to stop” he reassured her, keeping his eyes locked with hers, he rubbed his length against her and they both sighed. He briefly looked down as she grabbed him, helping him enter her, and looked back into her eyes as he breached her, slowly entering himself all the way inside of her. Her eyes widened even more and she gasped. He remained still inside of her for a minute, giving her time to adjust and trying to keep himself from finishing immediately. God she was so tight. He would be lucky to last any length of time at all with her tight wetness surrounding him, warming his entire body. He pulled out and gently thrust back into her and they both moaned simultaneously. He felt a rush of energy running through his whole body, like every inch of his skin was on edge. Even just looking at Brienne’s expression was enough to almost finish him off. Feeling Brienne relax around him, Jaime began to thrust more, slowly pushing himself deeply into her, reaching the sensitive spot inside of her, making her moan louder.
“Oh gods, Brienne” he moaned. He could feel himself getting closer but wished to help her climax one more time before finishing. Gripping one of her legs and pulling it up over his shoulder, he thrust himself into her, watching her face contort with pleasure. Her moans escalated as he thrust and she gripped his buttocks, slamming him into her with more and more force.
“Jaime” she moaned as she threw her head back and as she convulsed against him, tightening around his cock, he finished too, moaning and gasping, panting as she said her name. Regrettably, he had spilled his seed inside of her, so caught up in his pleasure he forgot to take that particular precaution.
“I’m sorry” he said breathing heavily and pulling himself out of her. Jaime grabbed a towel and cleaned them both up. He then laid himself next to Brienne on the bed and pulled her onto him so he could embrace her.
“Brienne” he mumbled, caressing her hair and kissing her forehead.
“Jaime” she said looking up at him. They shared a gentle kiss as they held each other, their bodies flushed with pleasure.
“I love you” he said. He hadn’t meant to say it right then, truthfully he had meant to say it before ever sharing her bed. Now he worried she might misunderstand him. “Not because of what just happened, I meant to tell you earlier, that is why I came to your bedchamber in the first place.” Brienne turned red and looked away.
“Are you sure?” she asked “you don’t have to tell me you love me just because you bedded me” she added.
“I am sure” he said defensively, “Brienne, I came north to fight with you, I fought the dead for you, I left my family and everything I knew for you” he reached over to make her face him. “My only regret is that I did not tell you before the battle, it was foolish of me seeing as we had no guarantee of surviving it. Once it was over and I realized that I had risked dying without telling you how I really felt, I knew I had to” he caressed her cheek. “I love you, Brienne” he said, surprising himself by tearing up as he said it. Facing death had laid the truth bare for Jaime and he was no longer interested in pretending or saving face out of fear. “I always have.” His eyes welled up with tears and so did Brienne’s. He brushed off a tear that made its way down her cheek.
“I love you too” she replied after a long and tearful silence. Jaime kissed her and pulled her tightly against him, knowing that he would never let her go.