Work Text:
“Baby… are you sure about this?”
Taehyung looked up to the light brown haired boy sitting beside the hospital bed. His lover’s brown doe eyes were filled with worry.
“I promise, they said it will be the last operation and then I'll be able to come home.”
Jungkook nodded, holding the other’s delicate hand gently in his own. He looked so sad, so terrified.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Taehyung smiled to him reassuringly. His boyfriend was so scared. He was scared himself, the cancer was eating away at his brain continuously.
Why did he give the younger false hope?
The answer was easy, too easy for Taehyung to even think about, it was just there standing out in big bold letters that he could only see.
To protect him
Jungkook kissed him softly. Taehyung didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want to think, to feel, all he wanted was his lover. To go home. He knew he wouldn’t be able to. Ever.
“Kookie, you should head home, i’m sure Hoseok is waiting for you.”
He spoke, his deep voice soft, barely audible. He ran his fingers through his lover’s soft brown hair, having to will his tears away from the thought of his adopted baby. His little buddy, his sunshine. Hoseok was what completed their little family, he put the joy they had longed for right where it belonged. Why did life have to be so cruel?
He would miss his little boy’s laughter and bright smile.
“You sure?”
“Yes baby, i’ll be here when you visit tomorrow. Don’t worry too much.”
Jungkook seemed to debate, looking at Taehyung before nodding, placing a gentle kiss on the sick man’s forehead.
“Okay, I love you.”
Taehyung’s heart broke into a million pieces, the shards stabbing into his every sense, his every nerve. It hurt so bad.
“I love you too Jungkook, I love you so much.”
He squeezed the younger’s hand lightly before letting him go, flashing a small smile. Jungkook smiled at him and made his leave.
Taehyung looked down at his hands, the hat placed on his bare scalp suddenly felt so heavy. Or was that his sorrow? He barely noticed tears.
It was the last time he would feel Jungkook’s lips against his, the last time he would ever hear his voice, see his smile. It was the last time he would ever hear those three words that made his heart flutter and melt.
I love you.
The sick man sobbed, sniffling as he looked at his lap. His tears dripped down his face and nose, splashing onto the thick blankets before soaking in. It was the end, he knew that, his body was too weak to go through the pain of everything, the therapy, the cancer.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to his little notebook beside his bed. It sat on the table there, waiting to be picked up, to be opened and read. To be written in again. So he did, he shakily picked up the small book and opened it to a new page. There was barely any left, he had to make the best of it, to give the little object completion.
Jungkook,
I don’t know what to say, I have so much to tell you, but very little words to describe it. I’m sorry I lied to you, i’m sorry I told you everything was going to be okay when it wasn’t. I couldn’t see you in pain, I didn’t want to worry you. I love you so much, you don’t realize it. You lit up my world, you saved me from myself, you showed me love no one else has ever showed me. I’m sorry I can’t do the same for you. Remember that first day? In highschool, you didn’t know where to go and I showed you around, you were so shy and you clung to me like I was the only person around. How the times have changed. You were so adorable then, you still are. You’ve grown up, you’ve matured and I couldn’t be any more happy than to call you mine.
Tell Hoseok I love him, tell him that no matter what I'll always be there when he needs me. I’ll always listen to him when he wants to talk. I’ll never truly leave you guys, even when you can’t hear my voice or see me, I'm always going to be there. I promise that.
I love you so much.
Love,
Taehyung
Taehyung’s hand shook violently and his eyes blurred with tears. He sat the pen down and closed the book. It wasn’t fair, he had everything he’s ever dreamed for, he had the perfect life he’s always wanted. He had Jungkook and Hoseok, yet he’s laying in that bed, waiting for death to arrive any minute, any hour, any second.
He turned his gaze up to the ceiling. It was white, too white, unlike the stained ceilings at his apartment. He always complained about the leaks and the color, now he misses it. He misses the smell of the candles Jungkook had bought him, he misses his little hyper boy running around screaming about random things. If life could give him another chance, he would never take what he had for granted, he would never argue with Jungkook or yell at Hoseok. He sighed quietly. How could he leave? How could he put so many others through pain?
The answer was simple, so clear. It nipped at Taehyung like a rabid animal, tearing his flesh slowly from his body, eating away at everything beneath.
Because it was his time, he was never meant to stay.
“Taehyung, are you ready?”
He looked at the nurse standing in the door frame. She was smiling politely to him, waiting for his answer. Even if he didn’t acknowledge her existence, he still barely had much of a choice. How could she smile like that? Everyone knew he had little time left, everyone knew it was the end for him. But he couldn't give up, not now, not ever.
“Yes.”
Taehyung nodded, forcing a smile onto his face. Even when he’s gone, he’ll always be there for his family. Always.