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Jagdish had a unique beauty to it. Red and gold glittering sand in rolling dunes spread out from the estate walls. In the distance, snowy mountains stood dark and black against the warm hues of the setting sun.
The estate was always a fairly quiet one, mostly comprising of the noble family of Indrajit and their servants. Outside the estate was a small town, home to merchants and a few apothecaries, rug weavers and other smaller tradesmen and their families. The town was large enough to hold a small market and a tavern or two. Not that Katayun knew too much of what the market was like. Her mother never once allowed her there, saying it was for ‘peasants and workers.’ And Katayun’s role in life was to be neither of those.
Her family owned the estate and the town just outside of its walls. Katayun would never know what it was to work nor would she know what it was to be poor, her family having a decent share of wealth. If her mother could have it her way, Katayun felt she would never leave her room. So it was best her mother never found out about how the young girl had been slipping out with her tutor’s approval. She wouldn’t want Jyothi to suffer on her account but at the same time, she couldn’t take being cooped up.
She’d made fast friends with the children of various servants and peasants, their difference in status not mattering soon after their first meeting when she’d plucked up a particularly foul pile of dung and slung it directly at the one boy who’d been kicking sand at her for the past three days. Once they saw she wasn’t the prissy princess they expected of the noble children, their friendship grew quickly.
However, as of late, those friends began to dwindle, especially her male friends. Katayun sighed dramatically as she flopped back across the width of the town wall where she and Arun, her last friend, had been enjoying the sunset.
“Mother found out I’ve been leaving the manse…” She said somberly, the look of shock from Arun enough to make her sit up on her elbows and pout. “Jyothi didn’t get fired but… he’s been much more strict with me. I think she did something to him.”
“I’m sure the Viscountess would never do anything to hurt him,” Arun answered with a shrug as he leaned to the side, resting his elbows on his knees.
“You don’t know my mother. She’s wicked and cruel. She only cares for status and fortune. I don’t know how she could ever bear to bare children.” Katayun answered dramatically.
“Must be why she only had you,” Arun answered with a smirk, deep brown eyes twinkling with mirth as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes.
“Very funny, Arun!” she answered before turning and shoving his shoulder. Arun only laughed and swayed back into place.
“So… What does this mean for you?”
Katayun frowned, leaning back again and looking towards the dark mountains stained black with the fading light. “…Well, I’m not allowed to leave. I’ve more guards watching over me. I… I won’t ever see you again.” Her voice broke slightly as her throat constricted. Swallowing hard and quickly rubbing her sleeve over her eyes, she pushed up. “And… She’s found a suitor for me. Because clearly, I can’t just become a Viscountess without a Viscount.” Katayun scoffed with a sour tone, leaning slightly towards Arun as she spoke, the disgust clear in her voice as she continued, “How stupid… apparently, he’s some Count’s son so I’d be ‘climbing the ladder’ as mother says it.”
Arun clicked his tongue and leaned against his hand, watching Katayun carefully. “Is it so bad? You don’t have to worry about dating or being rejected. And if he’s more wealthy, you could have your own baker to make pumpkin bread for you instead of having to come to socialize with the peasantry.”
The young girl drew her thick brows together, scrunching her nose and sticking out her tongue in disgust which caused a grin to break out over his own face... “The bread isn’t important. What’s important!” She said before rocking herself up to sit cross-legged, staring intently at Arun like what she was about to say could determine the fate of the world, a dark prophecy only meant for his ears. “What’s important to me is that I won’t be able to hang around with you anymore.” She gave a dramatic sigh before flopping back and letting her feet kick back out to drape over the edge of the wall, bathing in the fading red rays of light.
Arun smiled softly before shifting to lay next to her on his side, cheek propped against his palm, eyes full of barely concealed affection. “That is a shame. I’ll miss you. No other girl is so brave as to start flinging camel dung at her bullies.”
Katayun snorted before letting out a high, bubbly laugh, looking up at her friend happily. “Honestly… I don’t think I really fit in being a girl. I’m not prim and proper as I’m supposed to be. And… I feel weird in dresses and long flowing robes. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a girl? Is that even a thing? Could someone be born as the wrong person?”
Arun rose a brow with some thoughtful consideration to Kata’s words, blinking a moment before his expression softened. “…You don’t have to be a girl if you don’t think it suits you.”
Frowning up at him in confusion, Katayun waited for him to continue with his strange statement. Arun sighed and looked out to the sunset, gaze still soft but his mouth downturned just enough for a frown. Katayun couldn’t help but study his features as the light put them into stark relief. Arun wasn’t unattractive, he’d always been an adorable young boy. However, the years changed him, no longer was his face round and cherubic, his jaw had started to thin to a gentle but firm set jawline as his cheeks thinned, bringing attention to the high cheekbones with sharp shadows beneath. What she found her gaze most attracted to was his full lips, gentle eyes and the dusting of dark freckles over his cheeks and down his neck, dark and messy hair whisping at the sides of his face. She caught herself staring and swallowed hard, looking elsewhere in her embarrassment. He had been her friend for so long, and to oggle him like this seemed unfair.
“I’ve heard there are people born into the wrong body… and some who seem to share a body. It’s all very strange to me but… maybe? Maybe it isn’t so odd. Maybe the gods sometimes get it wrong,” He said wistfully before looking back to her, his cheeks rosy as though he’d known Katayun’s thoughts. Or perhaps he had some of his own. He was hesitating, she could tell as much by the nervous flicker of his eyes.
“…Arun? What is it?” she ventured cautiously, feeling it was suddenly difficult to swallow around the lump that had swelled in her throat. There was a caution in his eyes that worried her.
“Maybe you’re like that… But, if you weren’t a girl…” He ventured, voice quieting into a careful whisper. “…I can’t help but wonder if I’d still feel the same about you as I do now.”
Katayun paused, certain the heat that reached her ears was visible even as the last glimmer of light disappeared, leaving them in a warm reddish glow. She swallowed hard but firmly did her best to keep her gaze on him instead of looking away as she wanted to do. “Arun… I’m still me. If what you say is true, then… I’d still be me. And… I think we’d still feel the same about each other.”
His eyes widened as her words registered in his mind, staring at her a moment before his expression began to turn to one of distress, cheeks raising and eyes glistening. He looked fit to start crying but was holding back as best he could, and Katayun felt her chest tighten from knowing the reason for that pained look was her.
“Kata… I don’t want you to leave. I know that doesn’t help. I can’t do anything, I’m just a farmer’s son–” He stammered, bowing his head as emotion leaked into his voice unbidden. He stopped as her hand touched his cheek, soft and feeling like some forbidden gate had just creaked open, welcoming him into another world.
“Arun… You’re more than that to me. You stayed with me, all this time…” Despite her quiet tones, Katayun’s emerald eyes were fierce with open love and devotion. To have someone love him so, Arun thought he might swoon. He cupped his hand over hers before bringing her hand before his lips and kissing her knuckles.
“Is this really okay? I can’t keep you.” He said softly in tearful wonder.
“Then we should make it count…” Was her only answer before she turned to lean up and press a kiss to his lips. In spite of his initial surprise, he quickly adjusted. It was clumsy and awkward, but she was addicting, tasting of cinnamon spice and something earthy, almost bitter and sweet at the same time. When they broke away, both were flushed and breathing heavily.
Bitter and sweet… A perfect way to describe that night.