Work Text:
The past few days at the tower have been eventful, to say the least. Tony seems to be the only one keeping his cool, which is the opposite of how Tony usually is. To say you’re freaking out is an understatement.
At every turn, some strange mix of jealousy, sadness and frustration boils in the pit of your stomach and lurches out, traveling through your veins and quickly making its way to your brain. This, in turn, clouds your thoughts and makes it even harder to perform your actual job in the tower, which is to work in the lab with Bruce and Tony. Your job sometimes also entails ensuring that Tony sleeps at least three hours a night, but Pepper moving in recently seems to help him stay more grounded than he was before.
You aren’t sure where all of these unforeseen feelings are coming from, but you certainly don’t like the situation, and you’re hoping they don’t stick around long.
“I’m telling you, it’s most likely a problem in your relationship,” Bruce stops typing and looks at me from across the table.
You shake your head, “Nat and I are doing just fine, Bruce, I just don’t think that’s it.”
“Let’s ask Tony then.”
“Ask me what?” Tony appears, stepping into the lab and immediately walking over to the two of you.
Bruce tears his gaze from you and focuses on Tony, “Well, I think the weird feelings Y/N is having right now are attributed from possible relationship problems between her and Natasha. And Y/N is vehemently denying it.”
“Oh no, it’s definitely relationship turmoil, I can feel it.” Tony walks away, taking a look at his most recent project, “I should know, I’m the world’s leading producer of relationship issues.”
Your heartbeat accelerates just a bit, “I don’t think that’s it,” You glance around the room before turning to look back at Bruce, “I think something’s wrong with me.”
Bruce shakes his head, duly noting a somewhat significant demeanor change on your part, “Y/N, nothing’s wrong with you. You’re an amazing scientist and colleague, and the only person who can help me handle Tony in all his glory.”
“Hey! I heard that!” Tony retorts.
You meet eyes with Bruce, nodding slightly, making a conscious effort to repress your emotions. A tactic you know is unhealthy for your overall mental health state, but one that seems to be ingrained deep into your bones. “Yeah, you guys are probably right.”
“Miss Romanoff and Mister Barnes are back from their mission,” FRIDAY informs the three of you.
“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Your voice comes out monotone and you revert your gaze back to the work you’re currently focusing on.
Tony turns around, his eyebrows tugging upwards in confusion and a bit of concern, “Isn’t that when you say ‘That’s my cue’ and go check on her?”
You shrug, trying to focus on the task at hand, “I’ve realized that work is more important right now. Helen needs this prototype by tomorrow.” You meet eyes with Tony for a moment, “I can’t let her down.”
“We can help, you know.” Bruce adds.
“I don’t need help and I don’t want to see Natasha right now, okay?” You snap. A moment of silence passes and you sigh heavily, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get snappy,” You apologize, looking back down at your latest medical invention, “I just want to get this work done soon.”
“It’s alright, we know you’re under a lot of pressure right now and we’ll leave you alone,” Bruce states, meeting eyes with Tony and nodding slightly, the pair seeming to share a silent conversation - one that you’re completely unaware of.
“FRIDAY, where’s Y/N?”
“She appears to be in the lab still. Would you like me to tell her anything?”
Nat shakes her head, “No, thanks, I’m on my way already.”
“Okay, Miss Romanoff.”
Nat reaches the lab floor quickly. Her blank face dons a sad frown once she sees you’re asleep over what appears to be a new machine. She approaches you, touching your back gently. She notes how strange it is that you don’t wake immediately, per usual. Nat shakes you gently, “Y/N?”
You stir, your head rising from the table. Your hair is a mess and in that moment, Nat feels overwhelmed with both feelings of sadness and appreciation.
“Nat?” You mumble, still not fully awake.
“Yeah, it’s me. You fell asleep in the lab.” She informs you.
“I did?” You look down at your prototype and back up at her, “What time is it?”
She glances at her watch, “It’s one am.”
Panic mode sets in and your brain pumps itself into overdrive. “Oh my god,” Your voice begins to raise as your fingers begin to shake, “I have to finish this prototype for Helen, I can’t let her down, I’m going to let everyone down.” You search around frantically for your notes, “Where are my notes?!” You shriek in a frenzied tone.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Nat attempts to hold you but you’re able to avoid her reach every time, “Y/N,” She says, her voice soft. When you don’t reply, her tone becomes more fierce.
“Y/N,” Natasha commands, drawing your immediate attention to her. She knows just how to get you to calm down, but you seem to be ignoring her every attempt.
Your head snaps in her direction, stopping dead in your tracks. Natasha approaches slowly, holding her palms out for you to hold on to, “I need you to listen. You’re okay. A delay on one little machine isn’t going to kill anyone, I promise. Helen will not be upset. Finishing this isn’t worth it to compromise your well deserved night’s rest.” Her soft voice lulls you into a false state of calm, and Nat is able to pull you into a reassuring hug.
You bask in the glory of her embrace for a moment, before your brain powers down and overdrive stops running. Now it’s your emotions’ turn at the wheel. You push her away suddenly, and concern laces Nat’s features.
“I… I think we should see other people…” You tell her, not able to look her in the eye.
Sadness washes over her. Nat’s stares at you, a dejected look in her eyes. “Wha- Why?”
You shake your head, knowing you shouldn’t have said that. “I just don’t think we’re right for each other,” You sniffle, tears threatening to brim over, “You’re a beautiful, talented, incredible assassin who could have literally any man in New York City and I’m just an anxious scientist who doesn’t belong in this tower. You’d be better off with someone else, someone who is as amazing and attractive as you are. You deserve much better than I can give to you.”
Nat is heartbroken by your words, and shocked to say the least, “Baby… Do you really feel that way?” You nod a little, still unable to look at her out of pure shame. Her voice becomes sweet, like honey, “Look at me.” She whispers.
You’re almost immediately compelled to look at her. Her gaze is soft and inviting. “Y/N, you have nothing to worry about. You’re the only woman for me.” A small smile curls onto her face, “I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. You make me exceptionally happy, happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I promise you, I’m never leaving.”
You sniffle, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. Nat steps forward, wiping them away with her thumbs and pulling you into a tight hug. She places a kiss on your head and you rest your head into its familiar spot in the crook of her neck. She smells like she always does, but the scent fills your lungs with a sense of comfort and familiarity. “I guess… I don’t know.” Your words are muffled but she listens intently nonetheless, “I was always worried that you’d ‘settled’, or something like that, for me and you truly weren’t happy.” You sniffle again, “I think I’m having a bit of a crisis.”
“I think so, too.” She holds you closer, “But that’s okay. We’ll get through this.” Nat rubs a hand across your back, “I… I know I’ve never said it before, but I really do love you, Y/N, I do. I don’t know if me saying that will help you or not, but I figured now is a good time as ever to tell you. I’ve been afraid that you’ll wake up one day and realize that I have a lot more trauma than you bargained for and no longer want to deal with me.”
You pull your face from its place against her skin and shake your head, staring up into her beautiful emerald colored eyes, “I would never. I know what I’ve signed up for when I decided to be in a relationship with you and I know that in my heart, I care about you too much to let you handle all of these emotions on your own.”
“And I feel the same way,” Nat stares back, “I’m not usually… This vulnerable with people. But you’re not people . You’re one of the most important people I have in my life and I don’t want to lose you.”
You nod, smiling slightly, “I don’t want to lose you, either. I’m sorry for being so self-conscious all the time, Nat.”
“No, that’s okay, sweetie.” Nat shakes her head just a little, “We all get like that, even I do. The stoic, cold-hearted assassin sometimes worries about her relationship and whether she’s good enough for her girlfriend, too. It’s no big deal. We just have to talk about it.” She frowns a little, “You can always talk to me, you know that, right?”
You nod, “Yes, I do.”
The smile that everyone in the tower knows as the ‘Nat’s in love’ grin returns to her face, “Good. Because I love what we have and wouldn’t want lack of communication to ruin it.”
“Me either.” You agree.
Nat sweeps you off your feet in one quick movement and starts towards the elevator. You wrap your arms loosely around her neck and hold your body as close to hers as possible. Nat pushes the elevator button that leads to the floor that houses your shared bedroom.
“Sometimes I forget how fast that elevator is,” You note as Nat places you down on the king bed. She reaches into the dresser and grabs a pair of pajamas for you and begins to help you strip out of your work clothes into something more comfortable, so the both of you can get a good night’s rest.
“Arms up.” She instructs and you follow your orders. She tugs your t-shirt off and hands you a pajama shirt. Nat unbuttons your jeans and slides them down your legs as you pull the new shirt over your head, promptly assisting you in replacing your pants with shorts that are significantly more comfortable.
“Alright, missy.” Nat tosses the dirty clothes into the hamper that sits next to the bathroom door, “Bed time.”
You oblige, snuggling deep beneath the comforter. Natasha joins you soon after. You smile at her.
“What?” She questions.
“You told me that you love me.”
Nat returns the smile, “I hadn’t realized until a few days ago that I had never told you that before. It was a jarring realization, that’s for sure.”
“Well, I’m glad you said it.” You snuggle close to her, closing your eyes gently, “Goodnight, Nat. I love you.”
She shuts her eyes, “I love you,” And without realizing it, her smile grows.