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"You know, I wanted to ask you, how serious is your relationship with Semir?"
Andre turned to Tom with a raised eyebrow.
"Excuse me?" He asked mildly taken aback.
"Your relationship with Semir, it's pretty obvious he's taking it as seriously as anyone could, but what about you?" Tom's words carried no possible joke behind them, it sounded awfully a lot like he meant what he was asking. Couple years back Andre would have just ignored him or told him off, but they've grown to be friends and Tom was one of the most honest men Andre ever came across.
But that didn't make the question any easier to answer.
"We've been together for years, I think that speaks for itself." Andre finally said, Tom made a face that said that he wasn't satisfied with the answer and Andre wasn't really sure where he was trying to go with this sudden interrogation.
Tom adjusted his coat around him, it was cold outside and both men were waiting by the road for their subject of conversation to show up. They were investigating the area for possible witnesses of a murder that took place by the highway and Semir dropped them off while he headed to refuel the car.
They took the time to ask around the locals while he was away, but there were few and soon they had nothing to do, but to wait for the Turk to return. But Tom got tired of waiting rather quick and clearly found it the best time to question Andre about his and Semir's personal matters.
"You know," Tom said after a moment, "I've known you two long enough to actually like you, Semir a bit more, no offense." Andre smirked at that and Tom continued, "And as hard as it is to believe, I think you two actually make a decent pair."
"Well, thanks." Andre said.
"I know how Semir feels about you, he drills it into my head almost every day."
"Does he, now? Well, no wonder half the station keeps eyeballing us." Andre snorted.
But Tom looked at him seriously.
"You sound bothered by it." He said.
Andre shrugged "I don't really care, sure he's been doing it a lot more recently, but if it makes him happy who am I to judge."
Tom's frown just deepened.
"You know that I'm not bringing this up just to be annoying, right?"
Andre shifted uncomfortably "He said something, didn't he?" He said with a sigh.
Tom kicked at a nearby rock.
"You could say that."
****
"What's up with you? You look like hell." Tom said when he walked into their office, Semir mumbled something along the lines of a greeting without looking up, but Tom could see his partner's tired eyes from across the table.
"I'm fine, long night" Semir replied awfully plainly, Tom looked him over curiously.
"Long night, huh." He teased.
But to his surprise, Semir looked even more miserable after that comment than he did before.
"Yeah" he muttered and continued scribbling on the paper before him, which upon Tom's notice didn't seem to be anything more than just that, scribbling.
"Are you okay, Semir?" he asked, a little bit of concern starting to gnaw at his mind.
His partner nodded without sparing him a single glance and continued to scribble.
"Did you have an argument with Andre again?" Tom tried carefully.
Semir shook his head almost immediately. "No, no, we are okay." He promised, but the flash of pain didn't go over ignored.
"You don't sound really sure of that." Tom said softly.
His partner stopped his scribbling "I suppose I'm not." He admitted and put the pen down. "Do you think I'm too pushy?" He asked and finally looked at Tom, his gaze was uncertain, worried.
"Depends what you mean, being stubborn is part of your character, that's how our cases get done." Tom said with a smile.
Semir shook his head, but smiled a little.
"No, I mean...I guess I get carried away when Andre's around, you know, around the office."
Tom shrugged "Well yeah, you are together, little bit of affection then and there never hurt anybody."
"I don't think Andre likes it." Semir said sadly.
"That's not what it looks like from everyone else's point of view when you two start..."
"He hasn't slept at hom-" Semir stopped himself, "at my place for couple of days now, Tom".
Tom looked at him surprised.
"What? Why?"
Semir shrugged and pushed the pen around on the table.
"He says he's training at his gym, but I know he doesn't have any competitions coming up, he's been a bit distant for a while."
"Andre? Avoiding you?" Tom said in disbelief. Semir remained silent.
"The guy's been glued to you practically from day one, he's probably got a reason for doing this." Tom stood up and walked over to Semir's table.
Semir let out a resigned sigh. "I don't know if I'm ready to hear that reason."
****
Andre stared at the ground intently, aware of Tom's glare.
"You've been avoiding him for a while." Tom stated. "He thinks you want to leave him. Do you?"
Andre kicked at the dirt angrily.
"Of course not," he snapped, his voice sharp but low, as if even admitting the thought aloud could make it real. The tension in his shoulders was palpable, and his jaw tightened until it ached. "That's not it at all."
Tom crossed his arms, undeterred by Andre's outburst. "Then why are you acting like this? You can't just pull away from someone like Semir and expect him to magically know what you're thinking. He's loyal to a fault, but even he's got limits."
Andre ran a hand over his face, the roughness of his palm scraping against the stubble on his jawline. He inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to steady himself. "I know," he said finally, softer this time. "I know I’m being unfair to him—it’s just…it’s complicated."
"Complicated?" Tom tilted his head inquisitively. "You think that’s gonna fly with me? Or—more importantly—with *him*?" His foot shifted slightly in the gravel, the crunch underscoring how much he meant business.
Andre remained silent for a long moment, staring at the horizon where the line of the highway blurred in the distance. The icy wind bit at his skin, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from the weight sitting heavily on his chest.
"Alright listen, I didn't think this would happen, but no, at no point was I considering I would leave him, I seriously needed the time alone to think about...something."
"Something."
"Yes, something."
"What?"
Andre rolled his eyes. "Knowing you, if I tell you anything, you'll run straight to Semir and spill everything, and that's the last thing I need right now, especially when it's been a pain to get this far."
"As long as you tell him yourself, I won't tell him anything; I'd rest easier if I didn't have to worry about my partner having a mental breakdown every day."
"I’ve been doing an awful lot of thinking, probably too much considering what you just told me." Andre dug through his pocket and pulled out a necklace with a ring that Tom recognized Andre had always around his neck, however when Andre opened his hand, besides the chained ring, was another plain gold ring.
Before Tom could ask, Andre picked up the unchained ring and raised it up so Tom could see it better "They finished it quicker before I was done thinking so I've been carrying it around for a while."
Tom's eyes widened as realization dawned on him. "Wait... is that...?"
Andre nodded, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah," he admitted. "It's for him." He ran his thumb over the smooth surface of the golden band, as though grounding himself in the gesture. "I had it made a couple weeks ago. Didn't think it’d turn out this fast."
Tom blinked, processing this revelation. "So all this—" he gestured vaguely between them, searching for words as he tried to piece it together, "the avoiding him, the gym excuse, the brooding—was because you were... what? Overthinking *this*?"
Andre shot him a look. "You try being serious about something like this and see how chill you’d be," he muttered defensively. He sighed again, stuffing the necklace back into his pocket as though the sight of it was too much to bear at that moment.
Tom couldn't help the grin spreading across his face, though he bit down on it to refrain from laughing outright. "Man, you're a bigger mess than I thought," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You really think Semir's gonna say anything but 'yes'? You’re already like an old married couple."
Andre shot him a glare that could freeze fire. "This isn’t a joke, Tom."
"I'm not joking." Tom raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm dead serious when I say you're worrying yourself sick over nothing. Semir loves you. Anyone with eyes can see that—even the blind guy who plays accordion outside the station knows it."
A short huff escaped Andre’s lips. It wasn’t quite a laugh, but it wasn’t outright dismissal either. He rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly, staring off into the distance again. The act gave away just how tangled up he felt inside.
Tom walked in a circle in utter disbelief.
"So he's thinking the worst, while you're here planning a proposal, didn’t see that twist coming."
Andre rolled his eyes "It's just registered partnership, and it's gonna have to wait a bit if Semir's upset."
"Well, if you tell him, he sure as hell won't be anymore!" Tom snorted.
"I’ll tell him in my own time; you better not say a word either or I'll tape your mouth shut, Kranich," Andre warned him.
Tom waved him off "Okay Romeo, do it your way, but at least give Semir some reassurance that all is good between you two; or you won’t have anyone to give that ring to."
*****
Semir appeared thirty minutes later, he got out of the car and walked up to the freezing duo with apologetic expression "I'm sorry guys, I didn't expect there would be a line so it took a while."
Andre turned toward Semir, his mouth opening as though he wanted to say something, but he quickly closed it again. His eyes softened ever so slightly as he approached them. Semir shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck.
“So what did I miss?” Semir asked after a beat as he glanced between Andre and Tom.
“Nothing really,” Andre said dismissively, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat.“Nothing for you to worry about.”
Tom coughed loudly, making Andre look over at him, he shot Andre a look of warning, Andre stared at him puzzled before turning to Semir again and seeing his face fall at his dismissive tone.
“Right, well, let’s go, then,” Semir muttered and turned around to walk back to the car.
Andre’s stomach twisted as he watched Semir retreat, his smaller frame stiff against the cold wind. The weight of the unspoken words left a bitter taste in his mouth. Every step Semir took toward the car felt like a step further away from him, a gap growing wider with every passing second.
"Great job," Tom muttered under his breath, so low that only Andre could hear. "Smooth as sandpaper." He shook his head and started after Semir, leaving Andre standing in place.
Andre clenched his jaw, the cold biting against his skin nothing compared to the sting of seeing Semir's shoulders slumped like that. He took a sharp breath, steadying the warring emotions inside him before his legs finally moved, following after them.
"Semir,wait," he called out, his voice louder than he'd intended but carrying enough weight to make Semir pause in his tracks.
His lover turned slightly, looking back over his shoulder with those deep brown eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and, worse, defeat.
Tom hovered nearby, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, clearly biting back whatever commentary he was dying to offer.
“Come here a second,” Andre motioned to Semir.
Semir hesitated for a moment, his breath misting in the cold air. His eyes flickered to Tom, who immediately started whistling nonchalantly and looking everywhere but at them, before turning back to Andre. Finally, with the faintest sigh of reluctance, Semir took a few tentative steps toward him until they were standing just a foot apart.
Andre’s heart pounded like a drum against his ribcage, his pulse deafening in his ears. He searched Semir’s face—those expressive eyes that always gave away his emotions no matter how hard he tried to hide them. Right now, they held a mix of confusion and guarded hurt, and it made Andre's chest ache.
Semir tilted his head slightly, impatient but trying not to show it. "Well, what is it?" he asked, his voice steady but lacking its usual warmth.
Normally Andre had no issue coming up with words that made Semir smile, but right now he was struggling and the look in his lover’s eyes wasn’t helping.
"Look," Andre started, his voice lower, softer than usual, "I’m not good at... this kind of thing." He gestured vaguely at the space between them. "You know that."
He was expecting anything but the crushed expression he received when he said that.
Tom slapping himself on the forehead echoed loudly in the air.
Andre shot a confused look in Tom’s direction, his friend mouthed.
‘You make it sound like you’re breaking up with him!’
Andre's eyes widened in realization, his pulse stuttering as Semir looked at him desperately.
“What are you trying to say?”
There weren’t many instances when Andre felt like a fucking moron, but this was definitely one of them. The way Semir asked that question, his voice trembling just slightly at the edges, made Andre feel like he’d stepped on the man’s heart by accident.
He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“Honestly, I don’t even know,” he admitted eventually with a sigh and reached out, taking Semir’s hand in his. It was still warm from him sitting in the heated car.
Tom was watching him like a man watching his team lose a match.
Semir’s gaze fell to their linked fingers and then to Andre’s frustrated expression.
“Well, I don’t know either,” he sighed, looking at his lover tiredly.
Andre tightened his grip on Semir’s hand, unwilling to let go even as the silence stretched too long between them.
The snow began to fall again, soft flakes melting as they landed on their coats and hair. It seemed almost poetic, this quiet tension between them mirrored by the stillness of the world around them.
“Guess I just wanted to say I love you,” Andre said eventually, he cleared his throat,”…Probably more than I ever loved anyone else.”
Semir blinked, his expression softening. His lips parted, but no words came out. Andre could feel the way his hand tightened reflexively in his own, though, as if anchoring himself.
They never said those words to each other, not once.
Tom let out an exaggerated sigh, throwing his hands up before turning on his heel to walk a few paces away. "Finally," he muttered, loud enough to carry back to them before pretending to inspect the barren tree line like it was the most fascinating scenery in the world.
Andre ignored him, keeping his focus locked solely on Semir. He'd laid himself bare with those words in a way he rarely allowed himself to do, and whether or not Semir realized it yet, he needed—desperately—to hear something in return.
The guarded hurt in Semir’s eyes melted away, replaced by something much calmer, relieved.
His lips quirked into a small, hesitant smile, the tension in his shoulders visibly easing. He looked down at their joined hands for a moment before his eyes met Andre’s again, warm and steady now.
He stepped a little closer, their linked hands now pressed between them.”Well, I…I love you too.”
Andre's thumb brushed against the back of Semir's hand as he let himself drink in the sight in front of him—his partner, his everything—finally smiling again.
“That’s good.” He murmured back, then he leaned down and Semir met him halfway through.
The kiss was soft and unhurried, a gentle clash of warmth against the biting chill around them. Andre felt the tension in his chest release with the same steady exhale he used to calm himself in the heat of battle. Semir's lips were warm and welcoming after days of no affection between them. There was no urgency, no desperation—they simply enjoyed the feeling of one another after so long.
Tom cleared his throat loudly from somewhere behind them, clearly done with playing spectator. "Okay, boys, hate to interrupt what is clearly a momentous occasion," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm, "but some of us would like to not freeze to death out here. You know, frostbite's a real concern."
Semir laughed against Andre's mouth when his lover instead of letting go of him, placed his hand on the nape of Semir’s neck so he couldn’t escape from the kiss.
You'll survive," Andre muttered against Semir's lips, his voice low and teasing. He felt the laugh vibrate through Semir, warm and alive, like a spark finally reigniting between them after days of cold distance.
Seeing as neither of them were in a hurry to stop, Tom rolled his eyes and retreated to the warmth of the car.
If they insisted on freezing their mouths together, it wasn’t his problem.