Work Text:
Things with Kouga could be so easy. Like when they’d met, Inuyasha sniffed him out across the bar and didn't have to say anything. Kouga knew what Inuyasha wanted and what he came for. They made it back to Inuyasha's place, and Kouga didn't waste time with conversation. He didn't ask Inuyasha questions about his hanyou blood. He bent Inuyasha over his couch and fucked him so well that Inuyasha didn't protest when he stayed the night.
He's running, barefoot through grass. He feels the panic rise up in his chest but he can't look anywhere but at his feet as blades of grass fall under his steps. He moves his hands into his field of vision and they're covered in blood.
Inuyasha opens his eyes, another of the same nightmare.
He blinks and rises to lay up on his elbow. He's not troubled at all to find Kouga sitting on the windowsill across the room, his long black hair obscuring his bare back. The light from the moon spills onto his face and chest and Inuyasha watches him silently. When Kouga notices the golden eyes taking him in, he twists his body to face Inuyasha and hangs his legs from the inside. “Sorry... I couldn't sleep without seeing the sky.”
Inuyasha smiles, unbothered, and invites him back to bed. Kouga kicks off the wall and crawls on top of the bedspread, and Inuyasha complains as he's trapped, bundled underneath the blanket. Kouga sticks out his tongue but moves to join Inuyasha underneath, the fabric falling over them both as Kouga settles in, throwing an arm around Inuyasha.
The image of blood flashes across Inuyasha's vision and he knows Kouga must sense something wrong, but he does a good job maintaining his playful expression. Kouga doesn't ask, he waits for Inuyasha to take the initiative and Inuyasha finds it refreshing. He doesn't say anything about the dream, choosing instead to snuggle in close, his face inches from Kouga's as he stares into blue eyes with an unfaltering gaze.
Inuyasha is still at ease when Kouga is kissing him deeply and running his fingers through silver hair. Inuyasha had already sworn off having feelings for demon guys again, but Kouga makes it really easy to forget.
"Do you have to go?" Inuyasha finds himself thinking, but his dumb mouth lets the words slip out. He watches Kouga as he pulls on his shirt, his gaze landing on the others' ass and lingering there while the words come out.
Kouga chuckles, "Unless it's not actually six in the morning, yes. I do." He tugs on the edges of his boxer briefs that always seem to roll up and cling to his thighs when he pulls his jeans on. Inuyasha rolls over to look at the clock Kouga nods to, and clicks his teeth, damn it is six.
"Well if someone wasn't so responsible," Inuyasha drawls as he flops onto his back, still underneath the covers. Kouga smiles and leans over the bed on his knees to hover over Inuyasha.
"You're cute," Kouga pauses to catch Inuyasha's lips in a chaste kiss. "But not that cute."
Inuyasha lifts his rectangular throw pillow to smack Kouga in the face with it. "Ow," he mumbles when he feels the cushion hit his own face at the same time since Kouga's face was currently pressed closely to his.
Kouga smirks. "Keep it up, maybe I'll consider it again."
"Didn't know you were attracted to dumbasses." Inuyasha manages to grin smugly despite the implication that he was an idiot.
Kouga takes in his features, tangled bedhead and all. "Mmm… just one."
Inuyasha makes a face, taking mock offense, and pulls Kouga down. Inuyasha considers wrapping his legs around Kouga and keeping him there forever, but he settles for fifteen minutes of kissing and a handjob.
Kouga sees himself out, throwing a wave and a wink over his shoulder as he's now running late for work. A spent Inuyasha finally crawls out of bed five minutes later. On his way to grab a towel and take a shower he notices the note on his dresser with Kouga's number scrawled on it and a bashful smile grows on his face. They never agreed to see each other again, but he's secretly very pleased.
Inuyasha recalls that he knows not to expect much from people. He doesn't work with humans because he enjoys the freedom to not hide his demon features and avoid the mobs with pitchforks. He owns a human identity and under that guy's social and birthdate, it's like he's someone else for all intents and purposes. If he ever needs to make appearances as a human, he goes out under the light of the full moon. Anything else he needs, he can find on the demon side of town.
Unfortunately, demons aren't inherently the type to trust either. He knows it's a mistake to show his human form in the company of the pure-blooded. He remembers this with a phantom ache of the bruising all over his body and a pain in his chest despite the scars being long gone.
He knows this will end poorly, like all things, but he tries not to think about that right now.
He probably doesn't have the morning routine that everyone expects. Some days he can wake up and begin his work without an issue. Today he's high, and just got a dose of a drug he thought he was clean from. But he can work with that, high is his old friend, he could move, he could think clearly and he wouldn't need any of his uppers. Inuyasha sits, his computer whirring madly as he turns it on. The sticky note blocking his monitor says 'don't forget to eat'. He plucks it off and slaps it onto a notebook on his desk, hopping out of his chair and into the kitchen.
His fridge is void of much beyond butter, ketchup, and an empty jar of pickle juice he should just throw away, but he does have instant ramen bowls so he sets his kettle to boil.
He chews contentedly on a mouthful of noodles as he opens the file to finish the commission he accepted yesterday. In one hand he scoops noodles into his face, in the other he's finishing up his line art. When it's done he stares at the screen, leg bouncing and nails tapping on the desk.
He considers this a good place to stop for the time being. He can't focus enough to do anything else so he grabs his keys and puts on his hoodie that hides his ears really well. He might as well fill his fridge if he's well enough to eat today.
At the store he keeps his hoodie drawn tight, his bangs poking through the hood and flat on his forehead as he wades through the humans. A couple of teenagers eye him a bit too long and he starts to feel the anxiety thundering in his chest, his palms increasing in sweat. He slides on his sunglasses and moves through the store a bit faster. What's next on the list, he thinks to himself trying to come up with a distraction. He counts the lines on the tiles while he passes through the vegetables and fruits and onto what he actually eats.
Steak, steak. He wonders if Kouga likes steak. His breaths start to come slower and his chest loosens up a bit. Now all he can think about is Kouga. Maybe he could text him? He did leave his number after all.
He holds out his phone and stares at it while he thinks of what to say.
So, what do you do for work?
He puts his phone in his hoodie pocket, giddy as he throws a few packs of meat in his cart and moves onto the dairy section.
His phone buzzes and he nearly drops it fishing it out of his sweater.
you know those people who sell cosmetics to middle-aged women? that's my job, it's part of a huge pyramid scheme
….
Another message pops up as he's thinking of how to even respond to that.
I'm joking. I have a respectable job. Don't laugh though
Okay, just tell me
Inuyasha puts his phone back and continues through the store. He tries guessing what Kouga would do for work but he's coming up short. Luckily his phone buzzes again.
I'm a receptionist
Inuyasha hastily replies.
God, that's hot 🍆🍆🍆
He gets to the line and he hardly realizes that he made it through the store and he didn't have a panic attack.
He checks his phone again as the cashier scans his items.
Shut up.
He laughs to himself and he can feel the clerk eyeing him but right now he couldn't care less.
Okay im sorry, ill let you get back to screwing your boss on his desk or whatever receptionists do
Kouga sends him a line of middle finger emojis. He replies with a kissy emoji and wheels his cart out smiling like an idiot.
When he gets home he fills his fridge and he rides his high finishing that commission. When his creative energy is spent he crawls onto his bed and turns on the tv. It wasn't like he was paying attention anyway as the hum lulls him to sleep.
SUBJECT 099
UNKNOWN ORIGIN
NOTES
BLOODTESTING REVEALED SIMILAR COMPONENTS TO THE DNA OF DEMON SUBJECTS. SUBJECT HAS A SHAPESHIFTING ABILITY. WHEN BLOOD WAS TESTED DURING A TRANSFORMATION DNA COMPOSITION TESTED CLOSER TO HUMAN DNA. THE SAMPLE DEGRADED AFTER 12 HOURS. SUBJECT IS NOW ON 24 HOUR SURVEILLANCE IN ORDER TO GATHER MORE SAMPLES.
Inuyasha touches a hand to the note stuck into a clear display holder on the outside of the room he was kept in, he lets a hand slide down the glass, leaving long stripes of blood under his hands. Not his, he recalls, giving one last look to the lifeless form in a lab coat that collapsed to the floor. He clutches her keycard in his clawed fist as he runs through the facility. His breaths come in large gulps, his feet clap on the laminate floor.
He doesn't see anyone on the way out, thankfully. He makes it to the lawn and is dashing and ducking his way through tree branches and stumbling over their roots. He keeps running, and running, he doesn't know where he'll go but he'd cross state lines to get there.
He noticed staffing was spread really thin as of late. This wouldn't have gone as smoothly without that bit of knowledge. But mostly he had Doctor K to thank for his freedom, she shouldn't have been in there with him but she seemed to have a thing for him. There was no backup for her in the hall, one less body for him. She never operated that way anyway, he knew enough to know she was a risk-taker. He silently apologizes and says a prayer for her. It shouldn't have happened this way.
She shouldn't have…
Inuyasha shoots up out of bed, gasping for breath. He looks over at the clock: 6:30. He must have dosed off. He's covered in sweat and he can feel the tears sticking to his cheeks.
He hops up and heads to the bathroom, splashing his face with water from the sink. Taking a deep breath, he shuts the water off and holds the sink trying to think of things that make him calm. He looks up at the mirror in front of him and chews his lip. He pulls the door to the cabinet open and looks inside at the bottles, enticing him at eye level.
The thing about drugs is, there's always a crash and when it hits you, you want them ten times as much as before. There'd been times he's scared the shit out of his friends and himself with his drug use. He could get away clean this time, he doesn't need it, he tells himself.
He stares at his reflection when he slams the medicine cabinet closed. "You don't want to do this anymore." He's gripping a bottle in his left hand and looks down at it as he says the words.
Inuyasha's finger traces the cap, he pops it open and lets the chalky scent hit his nose. Inuyasha takes a large gulp of air and closes it again. He throws it aside with a sigh and scrolls through his phone. He picks at his nails, a nervous tick, as the phone rings. Please answer, he's chanting in his head. After the fourth, a warm and sonorous voice greets him, a small hint of delighted surprise in his tone.
"Hey uh ...can I come over?"
"Sure? I'm just making dinner if that's okay."
"Yes, please. Do you have wine? I'll have that too, red."
He hears Kouga's gentle laugh on the other end. "Okay. I'll send you the address. See ya."
"Bye."
He exhales as the throbbing in his head subsides. He tears his eyes away from the bottle discarded on the tile and leaves, pulling on a sweater on his way out the door.
"So, a receptionist can afford this place?" Inuyasha says as he saunters through the door. Kouga turns and stares after him as he walks through the foyer looking at the nicely decorated walls, potted plants, long hallways leading who knows where.
"It's kind of a fancy office," Kouga says after he shuts the door.
"Like demon fancy?" Inuyasha shoots over his shoulder, looking back at Kouga who's paused in the entryway.
"Yes." Kouga looks for a reaction but doesn't see anything unusual on Inuyasha's face so he continues. "Anyway, I don't live here alone so no, even I can't afford this."
"Hmm." Inuyasha says. Kouga repeats the sound questioningly. "It's not a bad hmm. Just a hmm," Inuyasha adds. "So, where's my wine?"
Inuyasha holds out a hand like he expects a wine glass to just slip between his fingers out of midair. Instead Kouga walks over and grabs his hand, pulling it over his shoulder and Inuyasha into his arms. He kisses Inuyasha softly and he nearly backs away, the action shockingly intimate.
Kouga senses the tension in his muscles so he pulls away. He slips his hands into his sweats pockets, visibly uncomfortable but still smiling before walking past Inuyasha. "This way to your wine," he calls.
"Very good, sir," Inuyasha says, taking a seat at one of the barstools when Kouga leads him to a stylish kitchenette with an island to his back as he checks on the food. His long hair is in an adorable ponytail with a headband and Inuyasha is enjoying the way it swishes as he moves back and forth in the space.
Kouga pours a couple of glasses and turns, setting one within Inuyasha's reach. He holds the other one between his fingers, leaning over the counter on his other arm and glancing up between his lashes at Inuyasha as he takes a sip.
The action causes Kouga's ass to pop out behind him, and it makes Inuyasha's head dizzy before he even tastes the alcohol. Kouga follows his gaze and smiles.
"Sorry, that's for dessert," he says before putting his glass down and standing back up to stir what's on the stove top.
"Asshole," Inuyasha mumbles into his glass and the sound bounces back louder than he expected.
"Precisely." Kouga grins as Inuyasha coughs on his drink.
The two eat dinner on the giant couch that Kouga brings him out to, and despite the rejection from earlier Kouga cuddles with Inuyasha as they pretend that they were watching a movie. Kouga's head is on Inuyasha's chest when he asks the question. "So, about that dessert…"
Kouga lifts his head in interest. "Yes?"
"I think…" He leans into Kouga, lips a hair's breadth away. "I still have some room."
Kouga's mouth presses to his insistently, he's moved to sit in Inuyasha's lap, his legs on either side of him. Inuyasha wraps his arms around Kouga, his hands moving to his ass in anticipation of later promises. Kouga moans into his mouth and Inuyasha is flipping him to lay him down onto the sectional as he pulls Kouga's sweats off.
Kouga's holding a fistful of Inuyasha's hair as Inuyasha's tongue twitches in his ass. Inuyasha is content to do that all day just to hear the sounds he's making, but Kouga nearly growls at him to take his pants off and do it already, so Inuyasha obliges.
Kouga doesn't mind all the hookups that much, but he wishes that Inuyasha didn't flinch away so often when he tried to initiate anything with a hint of romance. He wouldn't say anything to give it away, but he likes Inuyasha a lot more than he lets on.
Inuyasha shows up at Kouga's apartment on a weekday, and it's to meet the questioning stare of a mostly dressed Kouga at his door. “Come in,” Kouga says after a beat.
Maybe Inuyasha was there to satisfy the nagging feeling that this felt too nice. He secretly hoped that he would walk in on something incriminating and could write Kouga off forever. There isn't a single thing out of place.
Kouga is in slacks and a white button down that he’s now fastening closed. At the mirror in his foyer, he works on his tie as Inuyasha strolls lazily around the room, peeking and inspecting where his hands and gaze could reach.
Kouga meets Inuyasha's eyes in the mirror. “I don’t mind, obviously, but I am leaving for work soon.”
Inuyasha hums and lifts himself to sit on top of the credenza decorating the room. “So you don't have time to fuck me?”
Kouga's gaze snaps up from the other's thighs. He gives Inuyasha a teasing smirk. “I didn't say that.”
"Good, because I want you to fuck me like I'm your boss."
"At some point you gotta let that joke go…" Kouga laughs anyway as he turns and walks up to Inuyasha.
"I'm having too much fun with it," Inuyasha says, his eyes sparkling happily.
Kouga stands looking down at him, Inuyasha's thighs already enveloping him. He tilts Inuyasha's chin upward and when he looks into those bright golden eyes, he feels an emotion bubbling in his chest and when he kisses Inuyasha he can feel it moving through him and into Inuyasha in the way he holds him, the way he shudders when Inuyasha grinds against him, he almost wants to say it so he pulls away and his mouth opens.
Before he can get the words out, he sees the look on Inuyasha's face. It's like Inuyasha knows exactly what he wants to say, and his eyes are pleading him not to. Kouga sighs, and as usual he holds his tongue.
Inuyasha blinks and stares at Kouga, waiting for him to continue. With a huff of impatience, Inuyasha grabs his shoulders and pulls him back down. But it's not the same. Kouga is still far off and he feels as if he's shrinking away.
Inuyasha pulls away and looks at the ground, uneasy and unwilling to break the silence.
"Can I just say something?"
Inuyasha sighs. He nods, nearly imperceptible.
"Look, I've noticed that you're a little... intense."
He's doing this. No, no no, he's doing this.
"Message clear. I'll just go." Inuyasha hops off the table top and onto his feet to leave.
Kouga holds out a hand and blocks his way. "Inuyasha, don't. I don't mean it like that."
"Yeah, but you mean it some kind of way, so I'm just gonna give you your space." Inuyasha shoves toward the door and Kouga drops his arm to let him pass.
"Inuyasha." Kouga tries one last time. Inuyasha waits at the door so he knows he's listening. "I just need to know… if this is just something physical."
"Not anymore," Inuyasha says. He closes the door, too hard, behind him. Inuyasha picks up his pace into a run, just in case Kouga tries to catch up with him. He didn't want to do this. He wasn't supposed to answer those kinds of questions. This was supposed to be easy.
When Inuyasha gets home he collapses, fully dressed, into his bed. He's already been crying and he feels the headache coming on. He buries himself farther into the blankets and pillows, blocking off his hearing and sight, trying to experience nothing in the moment.
Why…
Why?
Why did you kill me, Inuyasha…
It's the image of that woman, long black hair floating into his vision as his ears ring. She's crying crimson tear streaks, her long hair is sticky with blood. The entire once white and sterile floor is covered in a sea of it. She tries to stand and grabs onto Inuyasha's arms. She slips on the liquid and her body dematerializes and joins the rest of the pool at his feet. Inuyasha screams at the top of his lungs and scrambles away. He hits the door with his back and stands up on wobbly legs to open it.
He dashes down the hall and it feels miles long. He's running and he feels the flooring under his feet turn into the squelching of wet grass between his toes. He runs and runs, and he never wants to stop.
Inuyasha…
He hears a different woman's voice call from behind him. But he cant make himself stop or turn around.
It's a ridiculous dream, Inuyasha knows, that woman didn't even know his actual name. No one at the facility knew it, he refused to speak the entire time he was there. But it gets to him. He didn't have to kill her. She might have let him go. Inuyasha punches the wall above his head and it crumbles under his fist. He only drags himself out of bed to stumble to the bathroom.
Inuyasha lets the door swing open and his eyes fall to the cylindrical container he let fall to the floor days ago. He had been so strong but now he feels himself drop to his knees and crawl over to it, horrified but he can't make himself stop.
Today he needs it to hit hard. With shaking hands he turns over the bottle and lets a handful fall into his palm. He sits on his knees and pops them into his mouth, crushing the pills between his teeth and letting the chalky powder fall back into his throat, his mouth full of saliva and helping carry it there.
He starts to feel the tension leave his body, his entire body is floating, damn he never remembers it being this good.
He remembers seeing the moonlight coming in through his bathroom window. His head hits the floor and the rest of the pills go clattering with his body. His chest aches like never before and he wants to cry out, but he can't find his voice. It's okay, now, though. The feeling is going away...
Inuyasha's eyes crack open. The room is dim and there's a loud rhythmic beeping coming from somewhere in the room. He takes in his surroundings and sees Kouga sitting in a chair across from him, a beanie over his hair layers with a dark hoodie covering his head. Kouga smiles and Inuyasha reflexively wants to smile back but there's something he snags his arm on that makes him look down in horror.
"W-what am I doing here? I can't be at the hospital…" Inuyasha springs up from the bed, fumbling with the layers of blankets over him.
"Inuyasha," Kouga puts an arm over his chest, keeping him in the hospital bed. "You're fine."
"No. You don't understand." Inuyasha tries to pry Kouga's limbs away from him but he can't move as fast as he usually does, and Kouga doesn't budge. Inuyasha looks down and sees his own black hair hanging over his gown. "I…"
"Your name is Ian. A thirty year old human." Kouga looks down at him pointedly and Inuyasha drops his back to the mattress. Kouga slowly pulls away as he watches Inuyasha's vitals return to normal on the monitor. "I checked your wallet. I know you don't have insurance. I'll cover the bill… just relax."
Inuyasha settles in and nods. He doesn't seem like he's going to say anything so Kouga continues. "You scared the shit out of me."
Inuyasha crosses his arms and looks anywhere but at Kouga. "How did you find me?" Inuyasha feigns a casual tone.
"I walked into your apartment… I couldn't even smell you. I mean it was you, but different." Kouga explains, disbelief and concern shaping his features.
"So, you've seen the real me…" Inuyasha's hands fiddle with the blanket over him. "Bet you didn't know. That I would turn human…"
"I've heard the stories about hanyou," Kouga pauses, watching Inuyasha's face but he still avoids his gaze. "Inuyasha." He blinks and peers up at Kouga, his chin low. "I know the real you."
Inuyasha scoffs. "You don't. I made sure to not let that happen." Inuyasha lets his bangs fall over his eyes as he looks down.
"You're a goddamn fool," Kouga mutters it under his breath but Inuyasha gets the jist of it. Inuyasha snaps his head up to respond but he stops when he sees the tears on Kouga's face.
Inuyasha sighs. "Stop. Just...don't do that."
Inuyasha doesn't know what to do with his hands so they hover in a reassuring gesture. "Look, I'm sorry okay. I'm just being an ass."
Kouga lets out a breath. He composes himself enough to stop crying but he still looks worried. "Are you gonna tell me what that was?"
Inuyasha figures he's seen too much already, and telling a bad lie wouldn't really help him out here. "I'm a junkie, it was a hard day... I don't know." He sighs and looks at Kouga. His face is neutral and non-judgmental, as usual, so he continues. "I wasn't trying to kill myself, okay. I just normally wouldn't do that, on one of the nights that I, ya know… dont have the same tolerance. I'm not trying to do it at all. I'm supposed to be in recovery. But you can see how good I am at commitment."
Kouga winces, but he lets out a small chuckle. "Okay. Thank you for being honest with me."
Inuyasha nods. His face is kind of coloring a bit weird and Kouga almost starts to panic again. "Uh… I think I'm gonna hurl," Inuyasha manages, and Kouga is already there holding the wastebasket to his face.
His vomit comes out in waves of painful sounding groans. Kouga makes an empathetic face and rubs circles on his back as he lets it all go. When he seems to be done, Kouga gets up and goes to the sink in the room.
"So, real sexy huh?" Inuyasha laughs humorlessly. "God, humans are weak."
Kouga brings over some dampened paper towels and returns to his spot at Inuyasha's side. "I'm not opposed to having a human boyfriend," he says it casually while dabbing at Inuyasha's mouth.
"Oh, shut u—wait, boyfriend?" Inuyasha sputters.
Kouga only smiles. He's feeling a lot better now after deciding he isn't going to hold back anymore and he's hopeful that Inuyasha can accept it. So he keeps talking. "I care about you Inuyasha. I know you don't want to hear it, but I need you to know. I don't want to lose you like this." Kouga squeezes Inuyasha's hand in his and looks at Inuyasha's face. He expects the same aloof, avoidant reaction as usual and is surprised to find that Inuyasha has laced their fingers together and is squeezing back.
"Well, you asked for it," Inuyasha says and Kouga wants to laugh and cry and kiss him at the same time. "I'll tell you everything you need to know, later. Can we just get out of here before I turn back?"
"Sure," Kouga says. "Though you know, I kinda am really attracted to brunettes."
"Kouga, shut up."