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I miss you today. Something about the way the water is moving about the rocks in the brook is making me think about you. It's gentle, not in a rush and not forceful at all. It flows calmly but with purpose, content with moving about in a path comfortably set by itself. It's pretty quiet today, too. It's been getting warmer and it's not as full as it usually is- it's drying up and dying out.
Unfortunately, that makes me think of you, too.
I think so often of the little moments we had before you left this world too soon. Every second of every day that I spent with you I should have cherished fully. I should have reached out sooner.
I loved you too late.
I see you in her, sometimes. The glint in the eyes, the tiny challenge of defiance. It's almost as if you were standing before me. When it happens, it's always too much. I concede, as I did with you.
I am weak for you.
Today though, grief settles deeply in my bones and I mourn once more. It never truly goes away- the pain I feel for you. But it does get easier to manage. It dulls slightly, as I ebb my way around the feelings I have been harboring for too long. Ebb, much like this river.
...
There's a rock in this riverbank that I could swear was the same color as your eyes.
It's been a while since I've seen them, though.
Clarke stands slowly and works her jaw, still staring into the river. She sees a frog beneath its surface, swimming quietly through the stream. She watches as it makes its way through mountains of rocks and bushels of reeds, until it is out of her line of sight. She sighs, turning around and starting her way back up the hill.
Today was going to be an especially hard day.
She turns and looks back to the rock that seemed to be mocking her in the brook. It was bright, and stuck out amongst the rest that pepper the ground beneath the water. It was smooth, clearly affected by the flow of the water after all this time. She stares for a while, lost in thought, before starting up the hill once more.
May we meet again.