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It’s a bright sunny morning at Rose Apothecary. Patrick is restocking eucalyptus under eye serum when David breezes through the door looking distraught. He’d just had breakfast with Alexis at the cafe, so god only knows what kind of sibling warfare had ensued.
“Patrick I have to disown my sister!” David says as he drops his bag, unceremoniously, onto the counter.
“Oh? And why is that?”
“A twitter thread, Patrick! She was laughing so hard she was crying, over a video of Napoleon Dynamite with Cher dubbed over it. It wasn’t even funny!” He’s red-faced and out of breath as he continues “And quite frankly, it’s an unbecoming look for such a pretty girl.”
“You mean she was craughing?” Patrick chuckles.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“You know, crying plus laughing...craughing. You’ve never heard that term before? There’s even a GIF for it, it’s a thing!” Patrick reaches in his pocket to pull out his phone. He finds what he’s looking for and shows it to David.
“That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard! And just because there’s one gif for it doesn’t mean it’s a thing!” David says as he drops one shoulder, throws his head back, and makes air quotes around the end of his sentence.
“Well my cousin Karen and I send it to each other when we really get rolling with the goat videos.” It had been a running joke for years between Patrick and his older cousin. Small town life leaves a lot to be desired when the only internet access is at the local library in your adolescence. Patrick is pulled from his trip down memory lane, as David’s voice goes up an octave.
“Goat videos?! Oh Patrick, growing up on a farm really skewed your perception on what is actually funny. There is nothing funny about goat videos.” Patrick is unclear on how David’s exasperation has shifted from Alexis to himself, but he’s saved by a customer entering the store. The rest of the day goes on without another mention of the apparently offensive word and farm animal.
Patrick had forgotten all about it, until they were lying in bed later that night. Propped against the headboard while reading a book on small business marketing, he hears a soft laugh coming from David.
“What’s so funny on that screen of yours?” He asks David, as he leans over to get a peek at his phone.
“What? Oh, nothing.” David says, now turning his phone away so Patrick can’t see what he’s looking at. “Just some completely obnoxious video on Twitter.”
“And you’re not going to share with the rest of the class? What, no late night lesson on what’s incorrect? How very off brand for you David.” Patrick goads, as his fiance turning a lovely shade of pink.
It does the trick, though, and David slowly turns the device so Patrick can see what all the fuss is about. As he takes a look, David begins to laugh harder. By the time the short clip has ended, David is laughing so hard his whole body is shaking and tears are starting to form in the corners of his eyes.
“Are you okay?” He huffs out. It’s a rare sight to see David in a moment of unbridled glee. Finally it registers with him. The video is of a pair of goats high stepping, set to the BeeGees “Stayin’ Alive”. A fucking goat video.
David can barely catch his breathe now, he’s laughing so hard. “It’s *gasp* just so *gasp* stupid!!” he finally gets the words out and wipes the tears from under his eyes.
“Unbelievable David,” He’s having trouble remaining indignant, as his own mouth curves into a smile and a laugh rumbles from his chest. “You gave me so much shit this morning for finding this very thing funny! And look at you, laughing so hard you’re crying! What am I gonna do with you?!”
David finally regains his composure and shoots Patrick a devious look “I don’t know Patrick, you must be rubbing off on me,” Patrick raises an eyebrow. “because if you had told me a few years ago that I’d be craughing over a goat video, I’d have thrown myself off a bridge!”
“Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me! No, you know what? I’m not letting you turn this against me!” David is grinning maniacally now. “This is that pet name thing all over again!”
“Aww...sweetie, honey, pumpkin, it’s gonna be okay!” Patrick smacks him on the arm, throws his book on the bedside table, and turns his back to him. “Goodnight, David!”
He can’t believe he’s in love with this absolute psycho, but he wouldn’t wish his life to be any other way.