Archive of Our Own

Waking up early was never an easy task for Bora, especially on a Sunday morning. But when she felt something stirring noisily beside her and an arm that rested heavily around her bare waist, the small girl had found herself wide awake and naked in her own sheets. 

Her right eyelid lifted slightly, allowing the natural sunlight to invade her sensitive pupils until her vision adjusted to see a woman’s face, her sharp nose bridge to her puffy lips that probably did a lot of work last night and her bare skin—

Bora shut her eyes again, trying her utmost best to recall whatever that happened between them the previous night. It must be the liquor, for a migraine pressed against her skull, her memories of the bright party lights of last night were hazy.

Carefully shuffling herself away from the lady’s reach, Bora’s heart stopped when she realised the lady’s eyes had opened, watching her every movement for a while now. 

“So um, last night-” 

Bora’s voice came off a little rough and dry.

“We fucked.”

“Right.” Bora was not expecting for that beautiful stranger to be so upfront about it. 

Though, that would not explain to the lost Bora why the stranger was bleeding from her wounds before they had an intimate time together.

“Who were they?”

When Bora motioned to the bloody towels on the floor, the lady was quick to cut in.

“You wouldn’t want to know.”

“Nothing would be as surprising, now that I’ve fucked a stranger,” Bora rubbed her temples. “Which by the way, I can’t remember.”

The bed creaked as a weight was lifted off it. The lady had no qualms in letting the bed sheet covers fall off her bare body, exposing her every inch of skin to Bora, though her long blonde hair was covering a vast majority of her back.  

“Met some guys that had me on their to-kill list, nothing much.”

From how casual the lady spoke about her life and death, Bora knew there was something mysterious about the lady and she felt compelled to know more.

“I’m Bora.” She started, a little shaky and her body was sore, probably from last night. 

“And I don’t care.” The lady scoffed as she slipped on her pants and top that she picked up from the floor

Bora hated how the smirk on the lady’s face was doing things to her heart, but what the purple haired hated more, was that the lady had left, leaving Bora staring at the shut door before her, dazed. 

“I saw you swerve a bit.” 

Yoobin noted Siyeon’s disoriented steps with amusement.

Siyeon snorted. “What am I? A car?”

Her strong liquor fumed breath, the haziness of her unfocused pupils and her dopey expression were more than enough for Yoobin to tell that Siyeon was under the influence of strong alcohol, intoxicated.

“No,” Yoobin exhaled with a puff of smoke and tapped on the cigarette’s end gently. “But you’re drunk.” 

“It was just a few rounds of drink.”

Yoobin shook her head. What was once a cigarette, the length of a finger, is now barely a stub. 

“Just a few rounds of drink?” Another inhale and exhale of smoke. “The hickeys are showing.” 

Watching the cigarette butts fall, Siyeon chuckled. Nothing escapes the keen eyes of her fellow gang member.

“I fucked a girl over, no biggie, though it seems like you’ve picked up another hobby.” 

“Want one?” Yoobin held out the stub between her fingers. “This shit’s surprisingly good.” 

The hungover woman raised a brow. Illegal underage activities were nothing new for the gang leader but she never knew her fellow gang member would be into such things.

“What’s so good about sucking on a stick?”

“They call it a remedy.” 

Yoobin shrugged and slipped another one between her fingers for herself, after crushing on the old stub against the concrete ground. “Also mankind seem to enjoy sucking on things...if you get what I mean.” 

“I really doubt that stick would have any beneficial medical effect.” Siyeon scrutinised the package’s image of a mouth full of black rotten teeth. 

Lit, the short haired pressed the new one against her lips, taking a deep breath. “It’s a remedy for a life that sucks.”

Siyeon laughed, tossing the pack back to Yoobin. “I see why.”

“The girl, you know her?”

To Siyeon’s dismay, Yoobin had to bring it up. Yoobin’s question had brought Siyeon back to last night, to the time when she was bleeding from her numerous wounds, her desperation had led her to a sweaty and intimate time with a lady she ran into, at the back alley of the lady’s place. 

“No, just someone I bumped into after a fight, she was lonely and I was horny. It was a win-win.” 

Siyeon grunted. Siyeon’s body had remembered the agonising sensation that spread across her back, and everywhere. Excluding the time with the lady, last night was not a pleasant experience. 

“They’re sending more men after me. I almost couldn’t handle them all, myself.”

“Oh?” Yoobin breathed out another fume of smoke. “The tough and almighty Siyeon is not so tough and mighty after all.”

“With a broken finger, my swings are still considerably lethal.” Siyeon motioned to her hand awkwardly, reminding the other of her injury sustained after Siyeon was dared by Yoobin to fight a man with just her middle finger. The man ended up with Siyeon’s middle finger shoved right up his nose and that broke both the man’s nose and Siyeon’s middle finger. 

“Fair enough.” Yoobin gave in. “Did you squeeze anything out of them, though.”

“Dealt with five stubborn weaklings, all refused to speak.” Siyeon rubbed at her blood stained sleeves. She figured it was time for her to get a new outfit. “The only thing I squeezed out of them was blood.” 

“Bloody hell.” Siyeon growled. “What the fuck do you mean by ‘it won’t go through’?”

The cashier repeated, annoyed by Siyeon’s poor mannerism. “Like I’ve said, your card was declined.”

“Fuckery fuck.” The blonde haired kicked the counter and dug through her wallet for any spare cash. In her wallet was just a piece of chewed gum that was dried, all shrivelled up and a paperclip, but not a single penny to be found. 

Tossing the paperclip in her hand, Siyeon tried her best to impress the cashier with her self-proclaimed charming face as she leaned towards the cashier. “Ever heard about the man who traded a paperclip for a house?” The gang leader pointed to the items on the counter. “Wanna bet I can trade this paperclip for all these?” 

“Eleven-twenty, Miss.” 

“What?”

“Eleven-twenty.”

“Aw, come on.” 

“Listen,” the cashier sighed. “You’re holding the queue up.”

Siyeon visibly deflated. “I just want my dinner.”

“And I want a Nintendo Switch, but neither of us are getting what we want, so please move out of the queue.”

The gang leader shot the cashier a glare before leaving, slipping a pack of gum in her pocket unsuspectingly.

“You, there.” A voice called out to the tired cashier and a loud bike roared behind her. 

“Me?”

“Yea,” The voice turned into a low growl. “You.”

“What...” the cashier says, slowly and carefully, as though she was interacting with a wild animal. She recognised the voice’s owner as the gangster with a declined card earlier. “What do you want?”

“Kim,” Siyeon looked down at the cashier’s name tag. “Kim Yoohyeon.”

Yoohyeon gulped.

Siyeon’s eyes flitted up and her eyebrows raised. “Want one?” She tossed a piece of gum to the unprepared Yoohyeon who struggled to catch it. 

The confused girl stared at the piece of gum in her open palms, silent.

“For the record, I didn’t poison it.” Siyeon chuckled when she noticed Yoohyeon looking at the gum suspiciously. 

“Didn’t think you would have the money to buy a pack.” Yoohyeon cleared her throat, though it hardly came off as casual.

“Who said I bought it?” Siyeon leaned on her bike, popping another gum into her mouth. 

“You stole it.” Yoohyeon frowned. “That’s illegal.”

“Doesn’t matter unless I get caught.” Siyeon tugged at her pocket, digging.

Her action alarmed Yoohyeon who then took a step back. “What, so you’re gonna kill me for declining your card?”

Siyeon looks pensive, rubbing her chin for an extra effect as her expression morphed into a sickening smirk. 

“I knew it-”

“Relax, geez.” Siyeon says, finally dropping her serious expression for a smile. “I know of many ways to fuck up my life but murder isn’t one of them. And you’re just so easy to rile up.”

“Okay Miss-whatever-your-name-is, if you aren’t here to kill me, I will be leaving now.” By then, the deadbeat part-time cashier was done with the conversation.

“Lee Siyeon.” 

“What?”

“Name’s Siyeon.” Siyeon started, her helmet rested on the bike’s handle. 

Yoohyeon was experiencing an in real life lag, freezing. She never thought someone like Siyeon would go so far to introduce herself to a stranger like herself. 

“Wait.” Lee Siyeon. The name sounded vaguely familiar to the brunette girl and when Yoohyeon recalled the rumours she had heard from her classmates in her highschool, she knew why. “You’re Lee Siyeon, as in the girl who got suspended?”

“And never attended lessons after.” Siyeon nodded, bowing a little with pride. “Do you happen to know why too?”

“No clue.” Yoohyeon brushed it off, only picturing the seat beside her that was forever empty. 

“Dang, I thought me ripping off the discipline master’s wig off was pretty iconic.” Siyeon whistled a low note. “So Kim Yoohyeon, you’re from my class?”

“Yea, we met on the first day of highschool, but not that you would remember.”

To the studious brunette, she was glad that she didn’t have to endure the pain of having a delinquent as her table mate since Siyeon never attended lessons anyway. 

Only then Siyeon remembered the round glasses Yoohyeon wore and her enduring frown whenever Siyeon teased her by taking those glasses off her. 

“Oh, you were that nerdy table mate of mine, huh.” The delinquent smirked.“Do you still have those round glasses?” 

Yoohyeon combed a lock of her brown hair behind her ear. “They’re my prescription glasses, so I’m pretty much obliged to wear them.” A pause. “Scratch that- why the hell am I still talking to you?”

“You asking me? Hell, I dunno.” Siyeon shrugged her shoulders. 

Yoohyeon stares at the blonde haired for a moment, and then shakes her head, sighing. “Then why did you want to talk to me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’ll be a loss, not talking to a pretty girl like you.” Siyeon winked and Yoohyeon shifts awkwardly.

“You have a way with your words.”

“Still couldn’t get me my dinner, though.” Siyeon grits through a smile, reminding Yoohyeon of their encounter earlier.

“Cup noodles and a beer? I would hardly call that a proper dinner.” Then Yoohyeon added. “The beer, by the way, is illegal. Did you really think you could purchase that?”

Everything Siyeon does seemed to only be illegal.

“Yea, with an ID that states I’m above legal age.” Siyeon ruffled with her hair, strands of blonde hair falling messily on her shoulders. But somehow, Siyeon made the messy look work on her. 

The seriousness on Siyeon’s face had Yoohyeon close to believing her, but the brunette remained skeptical. It must be a fake identification card.

“Oh really?”

“Yes really,” Siyeon draws out. “What about you?”

Yoohyeon blinked at Siyeon in confusion. “What?”

“Working part-time. I may not have studied much but I know that’s illegal too.”

“Not with parental consent.” Yoohyeon was finally walking away, her breathing was unsteady as she took quick steps to get away from the nosy delinquent. She didn’t want an acquaintance prying into her private life.

“Your parents approve of this?” Siyeon didn’t take the hint to leave her alone. 

“What about you? Do your parents approve,” Yoohyeon turned to look at the delinquent with an incredulous stare, studying the delinquent from her head to toes. “Of this?”

Siyeon just laughs. “I don’t have any. I’m sure I do, but they left me to fend for myself, so I can pretty much say I don’t.”

Yoohyeon averts her eyes away, her expression spelt pain, as though she had stepped on a landmine.

“Hey, don’t pity me, I don’t need that.” Siyeon spoke in a frivolous tone, a tone that seemed unfitting for her backstory. “But what I do need, is dinner. God, I’m fucking starving.”

“So you were essentially trying to beg for dinner from me.” Yoohyeon lifts an eyebrow.

“No,” Siyeon mutters.“But if you are gonna offer me some cash, I don’t mind taking ‘em-” When she saw Yoohyeon giving her the look, she held her hands up, giving in. “Okay, yes, maybe I am.”

At that, the serious expression on Yoohyeon’s face finally gives way to a smile, her eyes crinkling. Siyeon’s way of words and her mannerism had impressed Yoohyeon at last.

“Not enough for beer, but enough to get you a proper dinner.” Yoohyeon slipped some dollar bills into the delinquent’s hands. “Get some onigiri.” Yoohyeon suggests, walking away once again. “They’re cheap, delicious and most importantly, filling. Healthier than cup noodles too.”

It was Siyeon’s turn to stare at her open palms. Somehow, she felt fuller than she was before.

“Are you kidding me?” Minji gasped. “Y-you fucked a stranger?”

“Minji, oh my god, shut up.” Bora whispered, covering Minji’s mouth as she looked around them. Thankfully, Minji’s words were drowned amongst the loud background chatter of the classroom. 

“You’re already making me regret telling you this.” The smaller girl groaned as she slumped on her desk.

“Please, you don’t even know the stranger’s name and you fucked her-” 

“Minji!”

“Alright, alright.” Minji sighed, her voice now lowered into a whisper. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.” Bora flipped through her notebook carelessly, letting the book’s binder scratch against the pages dangerously, threatening to tear the thin papers. “Just forget about her and whatever happened that night, I guess. It’s been a few weeks already anyway.”

Forgetting about the sex was easy, considering how she could hardly remember that part of the night to begin with, but forgetting about the stranger’s beauty and mysterious aura was tougher. Her mind had the image of the stranger’s smirk on loop for weeks now.

“But you had-” Minji was mindful of her volume when Bora shot her another glare. “You had sex with a stranger.”

Having unprotected sex with a stranger was one way to fuck up her life, Bora knew. But she also knew that things could’ve been worse.

Bora shook her head. “At least I know I won’t get pregnant, that’s for sure.”

“I can’t believe this.” Yoohyeon uttered under her breath, busying herself with the notes on her desk. 

“Me neither.” The girl beside her rested her chin on her palm, tilting her head a little to stare at the studious brunette. “You really do still wear those glasses.”

“No,” Yoohyeon closed her book, turning to Siyeon. “I can’t believe you’re actually attending lessons.”

“Actually, I’m not.” Siyeon’s hand reached for Yoohyeon’s glasses but it was smacked away almost instantaneously. Siyeon faked a pout. “Aw, unfriendly much?”

“Of course.” Yoohyeon rolled her eyes. “We aren’t even friends.”

“Yet.” Siyeon corrected. “Also thanks for the dinner, friend.”

“If buying you a dinner qualifies me as your friend, your bars are set too low.” 

“You did me a favour, and as a gang leader, I must return it.” Siyeon nodded.

Yoohyeon scoffed. “What, you’re going to swear to protect me with your life or something?”

Siyeon gave a thoughtful hum. “Maybe exactly that.”

“Please, why the hell would I need your protection?” The brunette struggled to ignore the delinquent’s stare. 

“Nerd has got some attitude issue.” 

Times like this had reminded Yoohyeon of why she preferred indulging in books than socialising. 

“Of course I do, when I need to deal with people like you.” Yoohyeon sighed.

And upon the sound of the bell that signalled the start of lessons, Siyeon had left promptly, leaving the seat beside Yoohyeon empty as per normal.

Kicking pebbles on the gravel ground at the back of the school, Siyeon questioned what she was doing at school, ignoring the constant buzzing of her phone that was in the back pocket of her pants. Must be Yoobin, Siyeon deduced. 

When the buzzing stopped, Siyeon made an effort to glance at the what seemed endless notifications of missed calls and text messages, all from one contact labelled as ‘do not pick up’. 

“Geez, she only ever text me death threats.” Siyeon sighed, swiping the notifications away. 

“Sounds rough.” A voice startled the unsuspecting delinquent. 

Siyeon watched the lady approach her, her mind still processing the lady’s identity. She was oddly familiar but none of the profiles Siyeon remembered as worth noting had matched her. 

“Your girlfriend?”

That made Siyeon laugh. “Hell no. She’s totally not my type. And I hate the idea of commitment.” Siyeon looked up at the vast blue sky. How odd, she thought, she'd never noticed how many shades of blue there are. “I live wild and free.”

“That, I can tell.” The lady agreed, humming. 

“You can?” 

“So you don’t remember.” The lady sounded disappointed. “Bora, if that rings anything?”

That named clicked in Siyeon’s head, as memories of that night flooded her thoughts. 

“Oh.” Siyeon rested her back against the wall. 

“Fucked up, I know.” Bora tried to play it off as casual, but it couldn’t hide her nervous stutter. “But I guess we can agree on one thing.”

Siyeon shrugged. “Another round?”

Bora does not reply, only staring at the blonde haired in silence, her eyes studying the curves of Siyeon’s lips, noticing the faint traces of the wounds that had healed over the past few weeks. Her fingers reached for Siyeon’s tie, her nails digging into the fabric of it, tugging it as her face sank into Siyeon’s, lips brushing.

Maybe it was the fear that they would be caught in the act, or the soberness of both parties, the kiss lacked the intensity Siyeon had expected. Nevertheless it still felt good, when Siyeon leaned closer, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. Permission granted.

Bora felt hands riding up her skirt and her back arched in strong desire for more. Only then she remembered why she allowed the beautiful stranger to fuck her over.

She was intoxicated under the influence of Siyeon’s warmth. 

But she pulled back with a jerk, still slightly under the effect of the kiss. “Not here.”

“Scared?” Siyeon’s voice was husky, her warm breath tickled Bora’s neck. 

The smaller girl doesn’t reply to that.

“I was going to say we can agree to be friends.” Bora stepped out of Siyeon’s reach, smoothing her skirt as she fixed herself. “But I don’t even know your name.”

A sly grin contorted on the delinquent’s face. “Siyeon. Lee Siyeon.”

“You know Lee Siyeon?” The girl in front of Yoohyeon turned to whisper to her. 

Yoohyeon doesn’t look up. “Of course I do, Gahyeon, who doesn’t know that infamous delinquent?” 

“No, not that way.” Gahyeon whispered in an urgent tone, hungry to know more. “She seems close to you.” She stated, judging from their interactions earlier. 

But Yoohyeon did not think much of it. “Only cause I bought her dinner. That’s all.” 

“That’s all?”

Yoohyeon cleared her throat loudly, hinting Gahyeon to look forward when the teacher was almost done scribbling the information onto the board.

After Gahyeon faced forward with much reluctance, Yoohyeon knew it was not the end of Gahyeon’s interrogation. 

And she was right. The smaller girl was following her, even during their break.

“God, Gahyeon, leave me alone.” Yoohyeon was not used to the extra company during their breaks.

Gahyeon continued, regardless. “Why did you buy her dinner?”

Yoohyeon unwrapped the onigiri with her experienced fingers, her motion was smooth. “Because she was hungry and I’m nice?”

“To her?”

“Yea,” Yoohyeon says as she took her first bite. “And what about it?”

“Because, no one is ever nice to her.” Gahyeon says in a tone like it was a universal fact. 

The rice tasted a little bitter than usual. 

“Maybe people should try being nicer to her, then.” 

“No way,” Gahyeon gasped. “You like her?”

“What?” A rice grain dropped out of Yoohyeon’s slight gaped mouth and she immediately picked it off her skirt, blowing it before popping it back into her mouth, adhering closely to the three seconds rule. “Of course not.”

“Then why are you defending her?” The smaller girl couldn’t comprehend. She searched Yoohyeon’s face for any traces of emotions but it seemed like Yoohyeon was not lying.

“Gahyeon, you don’t have to like that person to be nice to them.”

Yoohyeon hated socialising. She knew the ugliness of human nature, the toxicity that lurks amongst them. 

“Be careful though.” Gahyeon warned. “She’s not the type of person you want to associate yourself with.”

And she wished life was simpler.  

“Where did you go?” 

Yoohyeon was welcomed by the sudden reappearance of her table mate when she returned to class. The brunette was annoyed, but it was not to say she hated her company. She only hated the attention Siyeon had attracted towards them. 

“I was eating my lunch.” Yoohyeon’s reply was curt, straight to the point without any elaboration, despite Siyeon’s clear attempt to kickstart a conversation between them.

“Onigiri?” Siyeon readjusted her tie and her crumpled collar.

Yoohyeon nodded.

Then Siyeon chuckled. “Let me guess, tuna flavoured?”

Yoohyeon’s widened eyes told Siyeon that her guess was correct. 

“How’d you know?” There was disbelief in her tone, like Siyeon was a psychic that read Yoohyeon’s mind.

“I’m a psychic.” Siyeon answers, playfully.

But Yoohyeon, obviously, did not buy it as she gave Siyeon a deadpan look.

“I’m just kidding,” Siyeon laughs. “Here.” She then leaned in to pick the tiny bit of tuna off Yoohyeon’s lips, licking her fingers after. “Hm, it’s still warm.”

Yoohyeon knew that she was supposed to hate the delinquent like the rest do, but Siyeon was making it hard for her. She hated how easy it was for Siyeon to joke with her, as though they were close friends. 

“Where did you go?” Yoohyeon tries to lead the conversation this time, though it was a very poor attempt. And wherever Siyeon went, it did take a toll on her appearance, for her hair was messier than what Yoohyeon had remembered from this morning.

“You can’t just recycle my question.” Siyeon smacked her lips. “But since you asked, I went to smoke a puff at the back of the school.”

“Seriously?” Yoohyeon frowned. “First day back to school and you’re already trying to get yourself suspended the second time? Worse, you could’ve been expelled.”

“Relax, I’m just kidding, again.” 

“Do that again I will never be able to take you seriously.” Yoohyeon slapped the delinquent by her shoulder. 

Siyeon grinned, shaking her leg with a little bounce. 

“What?” The brunette noticed Siyeon’s sudden silence.

“You care about me.” For the first time, Siyeon’s voice sounded softer than it usually was. 

Yoohyeon visibly winced. “No.”

“Aw,” Siyeon nudged her table mate with her elbow gently. “You do. Well, maybe a little.”

And a little too much, Yoohyeon thought. 

When more students started streaming in, Siyeon stood, ready to take her leave as soon as lunch break had ended. 

But a hand tugged at Siyeon’s wrist, preventing her from leaving.

“Wait, why don’t you stay for this lesson? It’s the last anyway.”

Siyeon considers for a good second but shook her head. “Nah, studying is not my thing.”

“So you’re a ‘GCP’.” Was what Yoobin concluded after Siyeon re-accounted what happened that afternoon, leaving out the quick makeout session she had at the back of the school. They were strolling along their usual hangout, making rounds around their territory. 

“I’m a what now?” The delinquent kicked an empty bottle up, headbutting it into the recycle bin by the alley. When it scored right into it, Siyeon had a celebratory fistpump. Then she grinned. “‘Girl change pussy’? I wouldn’t say my pussy changed, it’s still tasty.”

“Personality.” Yoobin rolled her eyes, adjusting the black leather glove wrapping her hand. “It means ‘Girl change personality’, dimwit.” 

Siyeon pretended to receive a blow to her chest, faking a hurt expression at her friend’s remark. “Ouch, harsh. I’m still trying to get my brain cells together.”

But Yoobin was unimpressed. “You had any to begin with?”

“God, I hate your fucking guts.” Siyeon laughed, sending a friendly punch to Yoobin’s right shoulder. 

“Anyways.” Siyeon’s voice had turned serious, her expression was sharp. Yoobin would be lying if she didn’t feel intimidated. Siyeon really was their gang leader. “I’m stepping down.”

“What?” Yoobin raised a brow, taken aback by her sudden announcement. There was no doubt that Siyeon is unpredictable, but even so, it never was the case to Yoobin, who was by her side from the beginning. “Because of that girl?”

Siyeon doesn’t answer. Instead, she patted her dear friend on her back with solid hits.

“You’ll take over my spot.”

“It’s because of her, isn’t it.” Yoobin repeated, shoving Siyeon’s hand away. She was furious. They had pledged their loyalty to their gang, after all. 

The gang leader chuckled. “Perhaps.”

“And I don’t care.” Yoohyeon snorted, flipping through her notes while Siyeon rambled on about her conversation with Yoobin, the next day morning.

“Aw,” Siyeon pouted, propping her chin on her hand as she tilted her head sideways to stare at Yoohyeon who was beside her. “Aren’t you going to console me? I fell out with my childhood friend.”

Yoohyeon stopped at a page and rolled the notes, smacking the distracted delinquent on her arm. That led to a big reaction from Siyeon who grimaced. “Ouch, how can you hit an injured person.” Siyeon rubbed her bruised body. 

The nerd was flustered for a good second, only to see the playful look on the delinquent. Disgusted but not surprised, Yoohyeon narrowed her eyes.“Why would you pick a fight then?” She passed the notes to Siyeon. “For a gangster, you are really bad in your punches.”

“It wasn’t a fight.” Siyeon’s bored eyes scanned the notes. “One has to go through that to leave the gang.”

“That’s a stupid rule.” 

“Hey, I made that rule.” Siyeon massaged her aching limbs as she watched Yoohyeon continue organising the accumulated notes for her. 

“That explains. You should ice your bruise, you look like a panda.”

“Thanks for calling me cute, babe.” Siyeon smirked, but it was not long before she flinched, after carelessly letting her bruised leg hit the side of the table’s leg.

“What?” Yoohyeon frowned.

“Pandas are kinda cute,” Siyeon’s tongue peeked out to wet her lips. “Don’t you think?”

Yoohyeon does not look up from her notes. “Sure, sure. Think whatever you want.” 

“Okay,” Yoohyeon’s words conjured a grin on Siyeon’s face. “I think you’re cute.”

Yoohyeon was certain she wasn’t going to be surprised by the unpredictable delinquent anymore a while ago. But oh, she was so very wrong. 

The sheet of undone questions stared at Siyeon accusingly as Siyeon struggled to concentrate. She held the pen in her writing hand, her eyes scanning the equations back and forth but not a single bit of it was registered. Occasionally, she would find her own gaze drifting towards her right, to where her table mate was. And each time, she would watch Yoohyeon studiously working on her assignment for a good while before feeling a surge of motivation to do the same. 

But it was one time too many, when her eyes met with Yoohyeon’s narrowed eyes. 

“You’re distracted.”

The blonde haired winks. “And you’re cute.” 

Yoohyeon knew it was the delinquent’s attempt to get away with not completing the assignment, and yet she still felt a heavy thump against her ribs. Admittedly, Siyeon was charismatic and she was most definitely good with her words.

Feeling her cheeks burn, Yoohyeon tries to come off as unflustered. “You’ve said that ...before.” She finishes off awkwardly.

“And so I will say it again. You’re cute.” Siyeon drawls. “You’re so cute, I’m distracted by your cuteness.”

“Shut up.” Yoohyeon buried herself between her books, keeping her red cheeks out of Siyeon’s sight.

“Hey now,” Siyeon peeked through the books. “Where did the cute Yooh go?”

The voice came out muffled amongst the books. “Gone, unavailable. And maybe a little dead.”

“So when will she back?” Siyeon played along, humming. 

There was a short moment of silence. “When everyone else leaves.”

“Alright, alright. I will look out for you.” Siyeon straightened out her back, her eyes glancing out of the classroom, towards the corridor. 

School day had ended a while ago and most students were either on their way out of class or getting ready to leave. Long streams of students swarmed the corridor, but Siyeon noticed a slight gap amongst them, a tiny space that separates two students from the rest. 

She was intrigued. “Who are they?” 

At last, Yoohyeon’s face had emerged out of the piles of books, her eyes tracing the direction of Siyeon’s gaze. When she recognised the two students Siyeon was referring to, Yoohyeon’s expression darkened. 

“Kim Bora and Kim Minji.”

Siyeon’s ear twitched at the mention of the first name. “So it is her.”

“Pardon?” Yoohyeon did not catch that.

“Nothing.” Siyeon brushes it off with a smile. “They seem to stand out.”

The blonde’s comment had Yoohyeon nodding, agreeing. “One is the captain of the dance club and the other is the ace player of the school’s powerhouse club, the netball team. So yea, of course they do.” Yoohyeon’s tone dripped with annoyance.

It was not the same type of annoyance the brunette had towards Siyeon on a regular basis, that Siyeon could tell. It was on a personal level.

“So what if they’re popular.” Siyeon kicked her legs up onto her table, not minding her shoes staining the blank assignment. “I can guarantee that their pussies ain’t clean.”

And somehow, with Siyeon’s quirkiness, Yoohyeon would never find herself feeling troubled.

Siyeon’s attendance was showing signs of improvement, she would now be able to sit through a lesson without dozing off or Yoohyeon’s constant reminder to jot down the notes. And when Siyeon was able to answer the teacher’s question thrown at her, the two gave each other celebratory glances. 

It was the little interactions between them that changed highschool life for both of them all together.

Highschool no longer seemed so dull and it all felt complete, full.

Except for Yoohyeon’s stomach. It was never full ever since she had to share half of her onigiri with her table mate. 

“Siyeon, for goodness sake, apply for a job or something.”

“Weren’t you the one who told me to focus on my studies?” Siyeon groaned. Calculus was tough and it was frustrating the hell out of the failing student.

Yoohyeon shook her head.“But you’re broke and starving.”

“Yea I’m broke but I’m not starving,” Siyeon says as she folded the paper with messy scribbles of her rough working into a paper plane. “Onigiri is filling.”

“My onigiri.” Yoohyeon felt the need to clarify. “Please, Siyeon, I can’t keep feeding you.”

Throwing the paper plane and watching it glide gently in the air, Siyeon stifled a laugh when it crashed landed onto Gahyeon’s head. Her smile faded shortly after. “But I like sharing an onigiri with you.” Siyeon turned to look at her table mate. “And I thought you do too.”

Yoohyeon coughed, flustered. “Not when I’m always hungry. Half an onigiri is not enough to fill me.”

“Then you can always get two.”

“Siyeon, you’re missing the point here-”

“But she totally did not miss my head.” A third voice cuts in. 

Gahyeon crushed the paper plane into a ball and threw it back at Siyeon who caught it with a single hand. Siyeon had a confident grin. 

“Seriously, Yooh. Keep this up and you’ll give them wrong ideas about the two of you.” Gahyeon said with a disapproving tone. 

Yoohyeon was undeterred. “What wrong ideas?” 

Gahyeon stares at Siyeon. Siyeon stares at Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon blinks and a good five seconds pass. 

“You know,” Siyeon lifted a brow. “Usually people start talking after that prompt.” 

Gahyeon sighed. “That there’s something between the two of you.”

“Really?” Siyeon says through her grin as she slipped an arm around Yoohyeon’s waist, pulling Yoohyeon closer to her. “So we look cute together?”

Yoohyeon batted Siyeon’s arm away, ignoring Siyeon’s suggestive stare. “As if. And do something about your hair. Your scalp is going to hate you for the bleach in the future.” 

“Sure,” Siyeon drawls. “Miss Brunette.” 

Yoohyeon scoffs. “Goldilocks.” 

Night time reading with a cup of coffee was always Yoohyeon’s form of getaway, though it was usually quieter, without the constant knocks on her window pane. Winding up her curtains, Yoohyeon rubbed at her eyes just to look again, at another pair of eyes that stared right back at her from outside her window. 

“Siyeon, what the fuck?” Yoohyeon unlocked the window, letting her unexpected guest in. “How did you find my place?” The confused brunette stuck her head out of the window to see the ground that was twenty feet below. “And how did you-”

“I peeked at your student handbook when you were napping during the breaks, it had your address. Also knowing how to climb is necessary to survive on the streets.” Siyeon arched over, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to steady her breathing. “Details aren’t important right now.”

“Uh hell yea, it is.” Yoohyeon folded her arms. “What are you doing here?”

Then there was a knock on Yoohyeon’s bedroom door. “Yoohyeon? Who are you talking to?”

The two exchanged shocked glances and Yoohyeon laughed nervously. “No one, Mother. I’m reading aloud.”

“Don’t sleep with your book on your face again,” the voice spoke from outside. “Your face will breakout.”

Hearing this, Siyeon covered her mouth, trying her best to suppress a laugh. Yoohyeon looked away, embarrassed. “Yea, I won’t. Good night, Mother.”

“Good night, darling.”

And when it was silent after the sounds of footsteps faded from outside, the two could finally breathe out loud again. 

“Seriously?” Siyeon raised a brow. “You slept with a book on your face?”

“It was a good story, okay. I wanted to finish it but I, uh,” Yoohyeon rubbed the back of her neck shyly. “Overestimated myself.”

“Nerd.” The delinquent teased. Then she remembered her main objective of the night. “Come with me, we’re short on time and I have an ingenious plan.”

“Huh? What ingenious plan?” Yoohyeon was hesitant and skeptical when Siyeon guided her to the window. 

“Make the jump.” Siyeon instructed, pointing to the bush that was at least twenty feet below. 

Yoohyeon frowned. “Are you crazy?”

Shaking her head, Siyeon jumped, landing into the bush, on both her feet. Yoohyeon gasped, but sighed a sigh of relief when she saw that the blonde was unscathed. 

“The bush will break your fall and twenty feet won’t hurt.” Siyeon paused and added. “Okay, at most two broken ankles. Just land on both your feet and you’ll be fine.”

“Two broken ankles, Siyeon. You’re fucking crazy.”

“Come on, I will catch you.”

Yoohyeon hated the idea, but she believed the delinquent’s words, though it was not enough to convince her to make the intimidating jump. 

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course not!”

“Why not?” Siyeon whined dramatically. “I was a gang leader!”

Yoohyeon rolled her eyes. “Um yea, exactly why I don’t trust you.” 

Siyeon shook her head sadly. “I promised to protect you, didn’t I?”

And that was surprisingly all it took for Yoohyeon to make the jump. 

“So tell me, what is your ingenious plan about?”

Siyeon grinned, whispering. “This.”

“That?” Yoohyeon stared blankly at what Siyeon was holding up. Although Yoohyeon did not know why they were whispering, she responded in a hushed voice as well. “That’s a paperclip.” 

And when Siyeon does not elaborate, Yoohyeon immediately regretted believing in her for even a slight moment. She recalled the paperclip story the blonde had shared with her before. “Siyeon, please don’t tell me this is part of your ‘ingenious plan’.”

“Wanna bet I can get you a Nintendo switch with this?”

Yoohyeon had an uneasy feeling tugging at her gut. Whatever Siyeon does, and always, is illegal.

“No. I’m going back now.”

But it was too late to back out and the blonde was already picking at the lock of a random apartment that was down the streets of Yoohyeon’s place. 

“Relax, I’ve investigated. The owners of this place doesn’t come home at night.”

Click. The paperclip had unlocked the apartment’s main door. 

“Siyeon, you’re fucking crazy.” Yoohyeon finds herself saying it for the second time, that night.

That did not stop the blonde from entering into the darkness of the apartment. Dumbfounded, Yoohyeon could only watch the blonde slowly disappear into the apartment while finding herself in a spot. She did not know if she should follow in Siyeon’s footsteps. The obvious answer was no, but without Siyeon, Yoohyeon was insecure to be along the quiet streets late at night. And so Yoohyeon followed, calculating each step with caution and keeping her breathing shallow.

They made it upstairs unscathed, in front of a bedroom. 

It was the final destination. 

Suddenly feeling weak in her legs, Yoohyeon held back Siyeon’s hand that was on the door handle. Yoohyeon motioned an ‘X’ with her hands. But Siyeon only shook her head, and gave Yoohyeon a thumbs up instead. The wild blonde opened the door. 

“Who’s there?” A voice spooked them and the lights flickered on.

It was at that moment, Yoohyeon knew they fucked up. 

“Siyeon? Oh my god- Yoohyeon?” 

“Hey Gahyeon...” Yoohyeon offered an awkward greeting as she pulled Siyeon’s hand, panicking.

“You live here?” Siyeon was not helping.

“Um, yea.” Gahyeon replied awkwardly. “I just moved in. My mom got engaged with my step dad.”

“I see.” Yoohyeon cleared her throat. She pushed Siyeon towards the door of the room as she padded out of the room. “We will be leaving now. Have a good night's sleep.”

“Wait- what the fuck? Did you guys just try to rob my place?” Gahyeon gasped. 

“Please Gahyeon, I, uh, can explain…” Yoohyeon’s voice trailed off. It was never a good sign. 

“Then explain why you’re in my room at like, two am in the morning?” 

“To check on you?” Siyeon shrugged.

Yoohyeon wanted to slap herself badly. “Siyeon, please, just shut up.” 

That didn’t stop Siyeon from talking. “Wait, you said your mom just got engaged with this house’s owner?” 

Gahyeon blinked down at Siyeon slowly. “Uh, yea.”

“So you and Kim Minji are step sisters now?” 

Yoohyeon flinched when the name was brought up. “Siyeon what the fuck-”

“No Yooh shut up.” It was Siyeon’s turn to hush her. That took Yoohyeon by surprise. 

“Yea…” Gahyeon’s eyes that once met with Yoohyeon’s, averted away. “The Kims are out now though.”

Yoohyeon honestly could not understand what was going on. The whole situation seemed so bizarre and all Yoohyeon wanted to do was to snuggle back under her comfy sheets.

“Listen, if you guys keep this a secret, I will let you guys go.” Gahyeon said, almost in a begging tone. 

Siyeon raised a brow. “Why would you want to keep this a secret?”

“Because,” Gahyeon sighed, exasperated. “Minji’s the star in school and I’m just...a dull rock.”

“Well at least a rock is useful, stars burnout-”

“Alright, we understand.” Yoohyeon tries again, shoving Siyeon towards the door. “We are leaving now. Also whatever happened here will remain between us.” She reassured their classmate. It was best for the three of them anyway.

The two headed back to Yoohyeon’s place in an awkward silence. A long minute stretched out until Siyeon breathed out, loud.

“Is that what you feel too?” 

Yoohyeon had never seen Siyeon look so serious. 

“About?” 

Siyeon looked up at the night sky. “The star and a rock.”

“Anyone would feel that,” Yoohyeon mutters, her voice had a tremble. “If they’re with someone that shines brighter than them.”

“Is that why you hate Kim Minji?” 

“What?” Yoohyeon turned to the blonde almost instantaneously. “How did you-” She shook her head. “No, I don’t hate her.”

“Dislike?” 

Eyes searched her, assessing. “Okay fine, yea, I dislike her.” Yoohyeon said through gritted teeth. “But it’s not because I’m jealous of her.”

There were tears in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yoohyeon revelled in the quiet comfort of Siyeon’s soothing voice. 

“Dated her but we just couldn’t work things out.” Yoohyeon rambled, afraid that her tears would fall between her words. “They would say I’m not good enough for her and being with her only made me feel like a piece of shit.” 

Yoohyeon felt Siyeon’s hand slipping into hers. 

“Did you try telling her about it?”

A slow nod. “She couldn’t understand my insecurities.” Yoohyeon batted her swollen and puffy eyelids. “We were just not meant to be.”

Siyeon gave Yoohyeon’s hand a firm, gentle squeeze. “Then I’m glad you broke up with her.” 

“I only gave them what they want.” Yoohyeon smiled sadly. 

“You deserved more.” Siyeon’s voice was quiet. “I wish I was there for you.” 

Yoohyeon’s heart clenched in her chest. She looked away from Siyeon’s comforting smile, their fingers were still interlocked. 

“Yooh?”

Yoohyeon’s voice was mellow. “Yea?”

Siyeon planted a quick kiss on the tired brunette’s forehead. “Don’t sleep with a book on your face again.” 

Yoohyeon knew it was not going to happen that night — there was no way she could even read a sentence. The jumbled emotions and chaotic heartbeat were not enough to keep her eyes open as her body gave in to her exhaustion. That night, Yoohyeon had found herself sleeping with a smile on her face instead.

“That delinquent is not the ideal girlfriend to be with, I would say.” A familiar voice sounded in the restroom Yoohyeon was in. “I saw the two of you along the streets last night.”

Yoohyeon stopped in the motion of splashing water on her face, her hands gripping onto the edge of the sink tightly. The voice was too familiar for Yoohyeon’s comfort. “I don’t think you’re entitled to judge, Kim Minji.”

“So we’re not even on first name basis anymore.” Minji smiled wistfully. “What is your relationship with Lee Siyeon?”

By now, any of Yoohyeon’s attempt to keep her cool has failed. She grinded her teeth, her breathing was increasingly heavier.

“It really doesn’t matter to you.” Yoohyeon snarled. “If you truly cared, you would’ve hear me out back then.”

Yoohyeon slammed the tap’s handle down, taking large strides towards the exit of the bathroom. The only problem was, Minji was standing right by the door, and her strong athletic arms held Yoohyeon back. Yoohyeon was pushed against the wall and her glasses fell off her face, its lenses shattered upon impact with the concrete ground. 

“I’m listening.”

Yoohyeon felt herself shrinking under Minji’s stare. “What?”

“I’m listening now.” Minji repeated, in a low voice. “Didn’t you want to tell me something?”

Yoohyeon’s breath catches in her throat. If Minji had asked her this months ago, she would have had a long essay of things to tell her. But right now, all she had to say to Minji was three words and she could write them all out on a single post-it note. In size 48. 

“I hate you.”

It was just a chopped whisper, a faint mutter that fell over Yoohyeon’s quivering lips but Minji reacted like she had been yelled at, her shoulders tensed up.

“Are you over me?” Minji murmured, her bangs falling into her wild eyes when she stared down at Yoohyeon. 

Let go, Yoohyeon’s mind screamed when her legs were twitching to run away. But she was done with having loose ends. It was now or never.

“Yes.” Yoohyeon said quietly, raising her chin to meet Minji’s eyes. The dead knot was tied. 

“I am over-”

She never got to finish her sentence when the wind in her lungs was knocked out, lips crashing into hers. The kiss was messy, hurried, and too desperate to offer comfort and warmth. It tasted salty like the tears they’ve shed and bittersweet like their old love. It felt final; it broke their hearts the same way it had healed them before. 

Both pulled apart with a mutual feeling.  

“Just to be sure.” Minji breathed, exhaling shakily. Her heart no longer pounded as wildly as it used to, after their kiss. And Minji knew who the new owner of her heart was. 

Siyeon regretted eating the onigiri that afternoon. She thought, maybe if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have to go to the restroom. And maybe if she didn’t need to go to the restroom, she wouldn’t have seen Yoohyeon against the wall with Minji on her, kissing. 

It scares Siyeon. It scares the blonde to feel her knees giving way, her heart thumping against her chest and her forehead dripping with cold sweat. And it was not because of the makeout session she just had, but the image of Yoohyeon kissing her ex that was engraved in her mind.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bora stares up at Siyeon from under her bangs. The position made her seem smaller than she already was. 

A hand slips under Bora’s weight, reaching for the hook of the purple haired’s laced undergarment. “What do you mean?” 

Bora lifted herself up to ease the process. 

“You and Kim Yoohyeon, Minji’s ex. I heard about it.” 

The mattress dipped when Siyeon shoved Bora back down, straddling Bora beneath her. She didn’t need assistance. “We aren’t together.” Siyeon murmured, her lips meeting the skin of Bora’s bare neck. 

It started off with gentle teasing rubs, then it escalated as Siyeon pressed urgent kisses down Bora’s neck, her breath ghosting over skin. Bora’s spine curved and she arched towards Siyeon, leaning into her body.

“But you like her, don’t you?” Bora said, barely between her heavy breaths, her eyes lidded in ecstasy. 

The purple haired was talking too much and Siyeon was displeased. “Shut up.” Her fingers wandered down in elaborate motion. 

“You’re hesitating- ” The rest of Bora’s sentence was stifled in a kiss; a hungry mouth moved against her lips until they gave way to moans of pleasure. It was a dance Siyeon would never tire of, no matter how many times she danced it and no matter how much she knew it inside out.

She will drown all those scary feelings for tonight. 

Bora woke up to Siyeon spooning her.

“Good morning.”

The sheets rustled noisily. Siyeon grunted. “Morning.” A little too rough and dry. Siyeon clears her throat. “I will be going now.”

Bora’s heart sank. It was way too soon. “Maybe we should hang out.”

“Mhm.” Siyeon hummed absentmindedly as she fixed herself in front of the full length mirror in Bora’s bedroom. She was familiar with Bora’s bedroom by now.  

“No, like,” Bora swallowed nervously but didn’t avert her eyes. “An actual hang out as normal friends.” She added. “No sex.” 

The tail of Siyeon’s tie slipped out of her hand and fell loosely against her crumpled blouse.

“Is that too much to ask for?” Bora’s fingers dug deep into the soiled sheets.

To Bora, Siyeon was like a poison coursing through her veins, engulfing her. It was slowly hurting her, and yet it satisfied Bora’s urges. She was addicted to her touch — a constant relentless awareness that she was missing it — she was addicted to that poison. And it was like deja vu, when Siyeon shut the bedroom door before Bora’s face, leaving Bora’s question hanging. But Bora knew the answer.

“Lee Siyeon.”

The red haired greeted in an unfriendly tone when she saw the blonde stepped out of her best friend’s place. 

“Minji?” After Bora joined Siyeon right outside her place, she winced. She was well aware of exactly how they looked like. Bora was barely wrapped up in a bathrobe while Siyeon’s blouse was missing a button. “Oh hey…”

“Kim Minji.” Siyeon returned the greeting with a similar, if not lower, tone. 

Taking a step closer towards Siyeon, Minji’s face was inches away from her face, her eyes narrowing on the delinquent.“You shouldn’t be here.”

“The same could be said about you.” Siyeon responded accordingly, her back subconsciously straightened, in a challenge of who will tower over the other. “At least she knew I was coming.” Sarcastic and full of pride.

Minji spat. “At least I’m not hated by the whole school.” 

“I don’t care what others think of me.”

“Considering the situation right now,” Minji retorted with a scoff. “You really don’t care what Yoohyeon thinks of you.”

Hearing Minji say her name, Siyeon felt a sudden impulse and rage that sent her swinging her fist towards Minji. Though, thankfully and with intention, her fist had missed Minji’s cheek, barely brushing pass Minji’s cheekbone. The consequence would have been dire. And Siyeon wanted to hurt her, bad.

“Siyeon, stop.” Bora pulled Siyeon away with the little strength left within her tired body. Her arms wrapped around Siyeon’s waist in a back hug. A quiet exhale. “Just leave, please.”

The delinquent noticed the swirls of emotions in Minji’s eyes. Jealousy was one of them. She turned her head to peck at the smaller girl’s cheek, smirking. “I will call you later tonight.”

“Bora, what the fuck.” 

Minji was not dumb. She understood whatever was going on between the two and she knew that the kiss was an act to agitate her. But still left a nasty bitter aftertaste in Minji’s mouth nevertheless.

“I can explain-”

“Explain?” Minji snapped, her eyes piercing into Bora’s teary eyes. “You and Siyeon-”

“Are not like what you think.” Bora cried, exasperated.

Opening and closing her mouth, Minji quickly turned her face to the side, silently cursing herself. She felt her cheeks heating up, the tips of her ears getting warm from her burning emotions. Bora’s tears were like glass shards that stabbed at Minji’s heart. If only she could care less about her.

“Really?” Minji was speaking in a calmer tone now. “Because I don’t think Siyeon coming out of your place in the morning was just a misunderstanding.”

Biting on her tongue, Bora ducked her head in shame. She felt like she had disappointed the one person that truly cared for her and been there for her tirelessly. 

Minji stretched out a hand and Bora flinched. The red haired paused in her movement before continuing, the back of her fingers caressed Bora’s tear stained cheeks. “You’re hurting yourself.” 

Bora felt like she was threading in a field of landmine, wilting under Minji’s stare. But that feeling was gone, when Minji’s firm arms secured her within an embrace, giving her comfort. How strange, Bora thought, that a hug could feel so different. And Bora preferred Minji’s. 

“Minji.” Bora asked softly, “why do you care?”

“Because,” Minji smiled. Her voice was soft and caring, everything that Bora felt like she didn’t deserve. “I like you and it pains me to see you do this to yourself.”

Minji was the antidote to the poison that was slowly killing Bora.

“Kim Yoohyeon.” A loud bike roared behind her. The loud vrooming of the bike reminded Yoohyeon of her encounter with Siyeon, though the voice was distinctly not Siyeon’s. 

Turning slowly, Yoohyeon frowned when she couldn’t see the biker’s face that was hidden beneath a helmet. “Who are you?”

“The rest calls me ‘Dami’.” The biker removed her helmet to reveal her dashing short hair. “But ‘Yoobin’ will probably sound more familiar to you.”

“Oh.” Yoohyeon remembered that name. “You’re Siyeon’s childhood friend.”

“And her ex gang right hand man. I’m assuming Siyeon told you about me.” Yoobin ran a hand through her hair. “I’m just here to check on her because she hasn’t been answering my calls for the past month.”

“Yea, she did...and how you guys fell out with each other.” Yoohyeon was hesitant. She didn’t know if she should be telling her this. “How do you know me?”

An empty laugh. “That idiot thinks she can cut off ties with me just like that, when I know her like the back of my hand. She mentioned you before.” 

Yoohyeon blinked. “She did?” 

“You didn’t know?” Yoobin raised a brow. “I fell out with her because she wanted to leave the gang.” 

“And how does that link to her mentioning me?” Yoohyeon had a hunch but she wanted to know for sure.

“She left the gang because of you.”

At first, Yoohyeon couldn’t think of anything to say to that. So she figured to respond with a low contemplative hum. 

“I really can’t comprehend how you managed to change someone like Siyeon,” Yoobin sighs, pinching her nose bridge while closing her eyes. “But you’ve done that.”

Yoohyeon didn’t know why Yoobin was telling her this.

“So maybe,” Yoobin’s index finger poked at Yoohyeon’s shoulder. “You could convince her to come back.” 

Now it all made sense. 

But Yoohyeon did not support the idea of Siyeon involving with dangerous people. “No.” 

“No?” Yoobin’s eyes narrowed on her. The tone of her words suggested that she was clearly not expecting a ‘no’ for an answer. “Tell me why are you trying to change Siyeon.” The newly appointed gang leader scoffed, morbid amusement pulling her lips into an empty smile. “What is she to you?”

Yoohyeon felt like her head had been hit with a bat. “A friend that I care about.”

“You care too much.” 

The brunette knew that too, from the very beginning. And maybe it was exactly that, that had Yoohyeon avoiding the ex gang leader. 

It was easy to avoid Siyeon digitally — Siyeon was not one to reply to texts and calls anyway. But being table partners with her only made it hard for the brunette to ignore Siyeon’s existence entirely.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

To be very frank to herself, Yoohyeon was unsure as well. Perhaps it was the confusing thoughts that clouded her mind whenever she was near the blonde. And Siyeon’s constant brief check on her was amplifying the loud nonsensical thoughts in Yoohyeon’s head. 

“I’m not.” She lied, averting her eyes. 

Siyeon’s jaw tensed. “Oh. Okay.” 

Yoohyeon was afraid of those thoughts that were leading her on. She was afraid of Siyeon.

“She’s afraid.” Gahyeon tried explaining Yoohyeon’s recent behaviour after the unexpected confrontation from Siyeon. Although she was initially intimidated by the ex gang leader, Gahyeon was glad that she approached her. Siyeon was not like what others had made her up to be, and Gahyeon was second to know the real Siyeon. The first being Yoohyeon.

“Afraid of what?” Siyeon brushed her messy blonde hair back. “Afraid of disappointing her parents with a degree in the arts?”

“Why is your comeback so oddly specific?” Gahyeon stared at Siyeon with a lifted brow. “And that’s beside the point. I meant Yoohyeon is afraid of you.”

“So she’s like the rest, huh.” Siyeon said rather plainly. Without bitterness or sadness or any emotion at all, just matter-of-factly. She furrowed her brows. “And yet I thought she understood me. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“No.” Gahyeon shook her head. “It’s not the same fear. She’s probably afraid of your actions because they’re leading her on.” She then let out a quiet sigh. “And Yoohyeon, uh, lost trust in most people after her rough breakup with you-know-who…” 

Siyeon visibly struggled over what to say next. Under usual circumstances, Siyeon would deny leading the other party on. But Siyeon could not deny that. She knew very well that it was true and she was scared of how vulnerable she has become because of one girl. Siyeon had messed up big time.

Even then, Siyeon was too afraid to do anything. A mistake or not, life had to go on. 

And it felt like a cold war between the two table partners that didn’t last long until Siyeon started showing up late to class. She eventually stopped coming. 

“Aren’t you going to do anything about it?” Gahyeon whispered to Yoohyeon when lessons started, with Siyeon absent for the fourth time in a week. 

Yoohyeon does not respond. 

“Siyeon was really concerned when you started ignoring her-”

“Gahyeon.” Yoohyeon’s pen dropped onto the opened book that was on her desk. “I don’t care.” 

Gahyeon scanned Yoohyeon’s face to judge how true it was, but after seconds of silent scrutinising, she gave up. 

“Here’s a cliché saying, I don’t care if you take it or not — you may be able to lie to everyone else but you will never be able to lie to your own heart.” Gahyeon said, frustrated. “You can’t protect yourself by pushing everyone away.”

Yoohyeon didn’t reply, clenching her teeth in a desperate attempt to hold her tears back.

“I thought you would never talk to me again.” Bora chuckled, but her smile faded away when she saw the expression on Siyeon’s face. It was evident that Siyeon was not tolerating any jokes tonight, from Siyeon’s miserable look.

“Listen,” Bora said calmly. “If you called me for a hookup, I can no longer give you that.” She stared down at the silver necklace with an initial letter ‘M’ charm. “But if you need a listening ear, I’m here.”

Siyeon nodded slowly. For a while, they just stood in silence. But Bora did not rush her, only quietly offering her presence until the blonde was ready to share her troubles.

“So I may have fucked up.” Siyeon’s voice was strained. “Real bad.”

“How bad?” Bora probed Siyeon to elaborate. 

It took Siyeon another long while to utter her next words. “I caught feelings.” 

Eyes widening, Bora said awkwardly. “If you’re talking about me, holy shit, I’m sorry.”

That cracked Siyeon up. “Not you, you stupid bitch.” 

“I know, I know.” Bora joked. “But hey, I made you laugh.”

“I don’t know what to do, Bora.” Siyeon admitted. Throughout her adolescent stages in life, she had never truly fallen for anyone. There were many that had a crush on her, but it was never the other way round. Whatever she was feeling, was confusing and irrational.

“Siyeon, it’s okay to feel lost. But what’s not okay, is to run away from your feelings.” Bora turned to look at Siyeon who now had a blank expression. “It’ll be selfish of you to run away without giving her a chance.”

Looking like she had been slapped across the face, Siyeon remained silent, mouth opening and closing without uttering a word. As if paralyzed, the blonde just stared at Bora with wide eyes. 

It took another lie for Siyeon to reach Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon came running to the said alley, expecting to find Siyeon beaten up. But instead, she was greeted by Siyeon who looked fine — at least physically. Though, Yoohyeon felt more relieved than annoyed. 

“Yoohyeon.” Siyeon breathed, her voice was uncertain. 

Yoohyeon wished she could find it in her to return the greeting with the same warmth. Instead, she sounded estranged. “Siyeon.”

Siyeon bit her lower lip, pretending that it didn’t hurt her. But a tortured expression twisted her features into a grimace. “Please hear me out.”

Yoohyeon was shocked. She wasn’t expecting the other to be so affected.

“You’ve already made a bold move by calling me out here with a lie.” Siyeon felt like she had been punched in the stomach. “But I’m all ears.”

The now black haired blinked in hesitation. A deep breath in, and out. 

“I know I’m not the best kind of person to love someone. I know I’m toxic, irresponsible, stupid-” Tears began rolling over cheeks, alarming Yoohyeon. “Fuck, I’m trash.”

It pained Yoohyeon to hear Siyeon lashing everything onto herself. 

“I am literally a total failure. And you have every right to hate me like the rest.”

“Siyeon, stop-”

“I can’t even do simple math— what the fuck is even integration?”

A mouth crashed into Siyeon’s. It was wet and salty from the tears that stained Siyeon’s lips but Yoohyeon could not recall a kiss that felt better than this. The scorching fire in Yoohyeon’s chest then fizzled out and she felt a comforting warmth spread throughout her body in its place.

“Siyeon, I know how bad your math is.” Yoohyeon let out a breathless chuckle. “But please stop degrading yourself like this.” Her fingers latched onto Siyeon’s shaking hand. “You’re not a total failure. A total failure would be a ‘U’, but I would say you’re a ‘D’.”

“A dick?” Siyeon wiped at her wet cheeks, sniffing with a soft laugh.

Yoohyeon shook her head. “No, ‘D’ for ‘disappointing’.” 

“Oh.” Siyeon pouted. 

“Disappointing because you actually thought I would ever hate you.” Yoohyeon’s mouth formed a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Siyeon. I’m sorry I avoided you because I was afraid of entrusting my heart to someone.” It was Yoohyeon’s turn to tear up. Tears started falling a little heavier and Yoohyeon felt her voice cracking, giving way any time. “I shouldn’t have been so selfish.”

Siyeon’s brain caught up a few moments later, and with it, her mouth, “Oh my god, Yoohyeon, no.” She rubbed at Yoohyeon’s cheeks, wiping the flowing tears away with her thumbs. “I’m the one at fault.”

“Please,” Yoohyeon choked on her own saliva. “This could go on forever.”

Then they both laughed, crying. 

“Yea, okay but I guess we can agree that the both of us did fuck up.” Siyeon huffed. 

“Totally.” Yoohyeon agreed with fondness in her voice. She leaned towards Siyeon for a hug. 

The two stayed like that for a while, their arms wrapped around each other, afraid that they will lose the other when they let go. 

“Also,” Yoohyeon buried her face deeper into Siyeon’s neck. “I noticed you dyed your hair black.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Siyeon shifted to hug Yoohyeon closer. “I figured it was time to settle for something new.” She peeked up at the sky. “I kinda like something stable now.”

THE END