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can't say I love you

Summary:

Nino knew that his life was going to change when he agreed to the marriage. However, marrying the nationwide famous actor Matsumoto Jun was something he hadn't been expecting at all.

Notes:

This has been hunting me for so damn long and I'm happy to be able to write this finally.
Also, this is my birthday gift to my fellow Suezu shipper Olga. Thanks for everything dear <3 I'm sorry for always being too loud about Suezu XD
The plot is slightly inspired by the manga Happy Marriage.
 

I plan to make the updates on Fridays as long as I'm not dying or some important stuff doesn't come up. Hopefully, I can stick to the schedule haha
Sadly, not beta-ed. Please forgive my mistakes m(_ _)m
As always, comments are very very welcome!

Chapter Text

“Congratulations!”

Nino had no idea how he had gotten himself into this as the confetti landed on his hair. A forced smile that he was sure that wasn’t fooling anyone was plastered on his face as he stood next to his “husband” holding a glass of champagne. He stole a glance to his newly wedded husband. He was standing right next to him, a similar flute of champagne on his hand. His suit was perfectly tailored to his body, defining his broad shoulders sinfully. And that smile… Nino was so sure that, that killer smile had broken so many hearts and he could gamble his own life into it. The difference between them was almost as day and night, he thought sourly.

His husband, Matsumoto Jun, the most eligible bachelor of Japan and a national treasure… He wasn’t anymore though since he just got married to Nino. Who would have thought that this guy would end up with someone like Nino? Surely, Nino hadn't anticipated it.

It was rather strange to call him as his husband. And it would probably be stranger to sleep with the man since well… he was Nino’s husband now. Nino almost groaned as his thoughts continued to wander around the word “husband”. This would probably drive him crazy sooner than he had expected. He should have probably confirmed who he was marrying in the first place. What a mistake.

“Would you like another glass?”

Nino’s thoughts got interrupted by none other than Matsumoto Jun. He was looking at him now, his expression unreadable.

“Um…” Nino stuttered, as his eyes looked everywhere but Jun. “I… I don’t… Um, I mean…”

Jun frowned. Nino thought it was intriguing how those awe-inspiring eyebrows of his suited him. “Are you alright?” Jun asked slightly worried. “If you’re not feeling well, we can…”

“I am!” Nino answered quickly, cutting him off. “I just… need to go to the bathroom… yeah… bathroom!”

However, Jun didn’t seem very much convinced. “You sure that you don’t need me to come with you?”

“Positive,” Nino answered with a smile that he was hoping that it was reassuring enough. He needed some time alone, like.

Jun still didn’t seem convinced but he still let him as Nino swiftly moved between the crowd and made his way towards the bathroom. To his luck, it was empty. Nino wanted to laugh. His luck worked at the most useless moments. He leaned to the sink and let out an exhausted breath.

How the hell his life led to this, he would never understand. God must be punishing him, he was sure of it.

It all started with Nino’s father, who was just a useless man who didn’t do anything but to cause a lot of troubles to Nino. He had never been present while Nino grew up. All he had was his mother and since his grandparents had died even before he had been born, his mother also had no one to lean on. His mother had died a few years ago, due to a heart attack and Nino’s heart still aches over it. But he was managing his life good enough. He had been working in the IT department of a telecommunication company and he was good enough to remain there long. He had a friend Aiba, who was working with his parents in their Chinese restaurant and Nino was a regular there. Aiba would give an arm if it was to save Nino and most certainly Nino would do the same for Aiba too. In the end, he had a simple, very normal life until he found out that his father used his name as the guarantor for his debts. His normal life crushed that day as he used all his savings to pay the debts and it was still not enough. But it was still better until he learned that his father didn’t just owe money to the banks but loan sharks as well… And in all honesty, they were a lot scarier than some angry banks when it came to paying their debt. Aiba had offered to lend him some money and even though Nino accepted that (he had no other choice at that moment after all) it still wasn’t enough.

It was then a man whose name was Matsumoto Nobuyuki found him.

The old man had told him a story which Nino thought that it was a bit hard to believe. That he had met Nino’s grandfather which he had never met, has saved Matsumoto Nobuyuki in the war. Nobuyuki has been looking for him for a long time already and he was elated to find him. He had offered to pay for everything but Nino refused him.

He had no idea about the old man, after all. Borrowing money from a stranger wasn’t appealing at all. It was then that the crazy old man offered him to marry his grandson. (“Then we wouldn’t be strangers, right?”) And Nino was sure that the old man was crazy.

It was the very same day when the whole situation went worse as the loan sharks barged into Aiba’s family restaurant. Nino was sure that he would never be able to forget how Aiba’s mother was crying and how scared Aiba himself looked. That was how he decided to take the offer of Nobuyuki. Marrying a stranger couldn’t be worse than having the loan sharks hurt your loved ones.

That was how he ended up there, in the bathroom of a very luxurious hotel. His wedding ceremony was happening outside of this door, with tons of celebrity whom he was used to seeing on the screen attending to it. He should have suspected. But how would someone suspect that your partner in an arranged marriage to be the Matsumoto Jun? There were like… hundreds of Matsumoto out there!

Nino tried to call the information he had about Jun. Certainly, he wasn’t really interested in TV but even so, you would know who the Matsumoto Jun is. The actor who had won way too many awards with his acting and the one who even went to Hollywood… The number one male celebrity that the women in their thirties wanted to marry. The number one male celebrity that the women in their twenties wanted to make their boyfriend. The number one male celebrity that the women wanted to see naked etc. All those rankings caused a secondhand embarrassment for Nino, he couldn’t imagine how Jun must be feeling about it.

And there Nino was, now married to the one person who had been the subject of wet dreams for at least a million women.

He was surprised that Jun’s agency allowed him to marry. Especially with a male. Same-Sex marriages have been newly approved by the Japanese government but it was still very much a taboo in the life of normal citizens. And apparently, Jun’s agency was thinking that this marriage would bring publicity to the subject or something else. Nino didn’t care at all at this moment.

That moment the door of the bathroom opened and his best and probably the only friend, Aiba came in.

“There you are!” he said cheerfully. “You’re missing your wedding reception!”

“Shut it Aiba,” Nino grumbled.

“And why haven’t you told me that you were going to get married to Matsumoto Jun of all people!?” Aiba continued to rumble.

“I said shut it!” Nino finally snapped. He was just too overwhelmed by everything and he most certainly didn’t need Aiba to state everything.

Aiba fell silent immediately, taking a step back to look carefully at his best friend, who had been looking rather pale, not to mention the slight trembling that Nino was trying his best to hide. “Nino-chan… You okay?” he asked softly, placing a hand to Nino’s shoulder to reassure him.

“No, I’m not,” Nino said weakly. How the hell he was going to cope with this?

Aiba wrapped his arms around Nino, giving him a warm reassuring hug. “It’ll be okay, Nino, he looks nice.”

“He’s an actor, he is meant to look nice,” Nino told him.

“But he genuinely looks nice,” Aiba insisted.

“Everyone is nice to you.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that,” Aiba insisted.

Nino just pouted and let Aiba comfort him. Aiba had always that effect on Nino. Aiba had a lot of time to learn how to comfort Nino when he was like this. Their relationship wasn’t just some kind of friendship but they had grown up together. Nino was one of his family and Aiba knew that he was the same for Nino.

Marriage wasn’t a Nino thing and yet there he was. Aiba knew that there was something that Nino was hiding from him but he was aware that Nino wouldn’t tell him even if he asked Nino about it. So he just wanted to be there for Nino, no matter what happens.

“Scared?” Aiba asked softly.

Nino didn’t answer. He didn’t want to tell the truth to Aiba, but also he hadn’t wanted to lie to him at the same time. So he just let Aiba guess. He was good at reading Nino after all.

“Everything will be okay, Nino,” Aiba reassured him as best as he could.

It was then, the door of the bathroom opened again as Jun came in.

“Are you okay? You have been in there for…” his voice trailed off in mid-sentence. Nino let Aiba go quickly, putting a small distance between them. Jun’s gaze was piercing through him as he stood there silent.

“Ah! Matsumoto-san… Sorry for keeping Nino here! I just can’t seem to stop talking you see,” Aiba babbled nervously. Nino could see that he was also overwhelmed by the sole existence of Matsumoto Jun. “I will… just go and enjoy the buffet… yes! I’ll do that!” he said before scurrying away, leaving Nino on Jun’s mercy.

A tense silence fell between them while Nino couldn’t think of anything to say. What did people talk about with a national star?

It was Jun who had broken the silence.

“I just… wondered if you’re okay,” he said, sounding very unsure. “Since it took you a while to return.”

“I…” Nino started, as he couldn’t think of anything to say. “I am not exactly used to being around all these famous people,” he admitted in the end.

Jun nodded. “Understandable,” he said. “But if we don’t go back now, it will be awkward.”

“I guess… you’re right…”

“We can say that we’re tired and leave the reception,” Jun offered.

Nino offered a nervous smile. “I would appreciate that very much, thank you.”

Jun smiled. It was a nice one, to Nino’s surprise. It wasn’t like the ones he flashed outside or it wasn’t like the ones that Nino had seen in the magazines. This one was soft, understanding and… warm…

“Don’t mention it,” Jun shook his head. “Shall we return?” he asked offering his arm to Nino.

Nino smiled too. That was the first time that he felt that maybe, just maybe he and Jun could understand each other.