Chapter Text
They met under rough circumstances. Mark wasn’t in the best of places, with his life falling apart right before his eyes, with him helpless to do anything.
With balancing school, work and a shitty family situation - his life was far from rainbows and sunshine. The first time Mark laid his eyes on Jackson, was when the younger slammed his backpack onto the table - startling Mark awake.
That was two strikes in Mark’s book. Most people asked before taking a seat and Mark abhorred being awakened from his sleep.
With those two strikes in mind, it was to no surprise, that he hated Jackson when they first met.
The younger - a transfer student from Hong Kong who had given up fencing to pursue a business degree. In Mark’s eyes, Jackson had everything. He had a warm close-knitted family and never seemed to be tight on cash. That wasn’t all to him, with Jackson having a charismatic personality that drew people in like moths to a burning light.
There was almost nothing to dislike about him - he was outspoken, helpful, funny and just so damn caring. Jinyoung and Jaebum often made jokes about how Jackson was everything Mark was not - and Mark gradually saw the veiled truth in their statement. Jackson was everything Mark wasn’t, and when Mark realised that - he was even more hell-bent on hating the younger. Looking back at it, that was also when he had also come to realise that there was a fine line between love and hate.
Mark was an astronomy major - a useless major in everyone’s eyes but his. His parents had left him free will to do as he wished, having larger problems to deal with - like the bitter spat in the division of finances with the signing of the divorce papers. Being an astronomy major, he had common classes with Jackson; who for a business major had absolutely no talent in dealing with numbers.
In the beginning, it was humorous to watch Jackson struggle with assignments, with the younger always slipping into mandarin when he got too frustrated at the problems. It didn’t help that Jackson wasn’t very fluent in Korean, often depending on Mark to explain the question to him in Mandarin.
Mark never intended on speaking a word to Jackson but in a really low day he had made the mistake of laughing at a statement Jackson made in Mandarin about the lecturer looking like he just got an unsatisfying fuck. Revealing the fact that he understood Mandarin to Jackson. That opened multiple doors to conversations that Mark never wanted to have in the first place - but no one said no to Jackson Wang.
It didn’t help that Mark was never one for going against the majority and like everyone else he couldn’t say no to the force that went by the name of Jackson Wang.
From reluctant seatmates for their shared classes, Jackson gradually became a permanent fixture in Mark’s life.
The younger having invited himself to Mark’s lunch table - which consisted of Jinyoung and Jaebeom.
The only two people Mark could really call friends or trusted enough to let them know the reason behind the dark circles under his eyes and the plethora of lovebites that marked his collarbones and chest. It wouldn’t be accurate to call them lovebites, they were just a branding - a mark that he bore to signal that he’s apart of the dirty business that takes place in dingy alleyways.
He still remembers the utter shock on Jinyoung’s face when he peeked his head into Mark’s dorm room wondering why on earth Mark was taking so change for lunch. His regular clients were never usually so keen on leaving marks, but the ones who paid well often liked to leave Mark sore and marked up as if to stake their claim. He never understood why they did that because he doesn’t, wouldn’t belong to anyone. No one cared enough to want him for more than one night.
So imagine his surprise, when Jackson Wang - the golden boy had shyly invited him to attend the party at the club near the university to celebrate the end of finals. Mark could grudgingly admit that they were friends and it wasn’t uncommon for Jackson to ask Mark to join him for lunch but the way Jackson was fidgeting made Mark think this was more than just a regular night out. Mark was already having a rough day with Jooheon an ex-client relentlessly trying to recruit Mark into becoming a stripper and getting off the streets. He wondered if Jooheon just had a hero complex.
If he had known that Jooheon was one of the owners of the biggest strip clubs in the city, Mark would have never agreed to sleep with him, much less allowed him to sleep with him twice and get his number. Mark had been considering the offer but knowing that there was a chance that people from the university might spot him there was enough of an incentive for him to say no, yet Jooheon was offering enough money to cover his tuition and lodging fees for next year's first semester.
Mark had blinked, looking around him as if expecting Jinyoung and Jaebum to be hiding around the corner. It had to be a joke. There was no way in hell Jackson wanted anything other than help with work and someone to gossip in mandarin with. Mark had nothing else to offer, he was quiet, shy and generally unnoticed except for his pretty face which even that he hid with the hood of his jackets. The silence stretched for longer than Mark expected, he glanced up from the tiles and was met with a nervous Jackson fidgeting with something behind his back.
Mark didn’t know why there was a sense of irritation that bubbled up in him as he watched Jackson fidget, looking at him with that pair of hopeful eyes. Perhaps it was the irritation that Jackson had the audacity to look nervous when clearly no one with a pair of working eyes would reject a date from him. Or maybe it was the anger that Jackson was like everyone else, treating him as a joke or better yet, was it simply a childish dare from a drunkard truth and dare session?
“Did Jinyoung and Jaebum put you up to this?” Mark said with gritted teeth as he clenched his fists refusing to look Jackson in the eye. In his heart, Mark knows that Jinyoung and Jaebum would never do something like this to him, despite their ridiculous notion that Jackson was infatuated with him. It wasn’t possible, no one wanted him. No one needed him, not even his parents gave enough of a shit to keep his university funds out of their squabbles.
“Wh- No! Mark why would you think Jinyoungie - Mark look at me.” Jackson stumbled through his words before finally noticing that Mark was shaking, and when Mark finally looked at him - Jackson froze. He had never seen Mark this closed off, the elder had a flat expression, the usual traces of amusement or what Jackson likes to think as fondness all vacant from his gaze. Jackson took two steps towards Mark, gaze widening when the elder flinches and backs up against the wall. Jackson doesn’t know what’s going on in Mark’s head, as he watches the elder slump against the wall after tugging up his hood to cover his head. He just silently stands beside the elder leaning against the wall, both in each other’s spaces but not touching.
“I...I’m sorry Jackson-ah. It’s been a rough day, Professor Kang refused to give me an extension and you know how hard it is to -” Mark said with a sigh, running a hand down his face as he resisted the urge to punch the wall beside him. There was a beat of silence before a hand wrapped around his wrist, coaxing him to unclench his fists. When his fingers finally did uncurl, a cool smooth object was placed in his palm.
Mark blinked open his eyes to peer at Jackson curiously who had released his grip on Mark’s wrist and placed both hands behind his head as he grinned at Mark. That’s when Mark noticed the new necklace that Jackson was sporting, the Chinese character ‘Wang (王)’ hung on a silver chain, slung proudly on Jackson’s neck. He glanced at the metal chain in his open palm as he untangled the silver chain, revealing the Chinese character ‘Tuan (段)’, Mark smiled softly at the Chinese character tracing a finger across the cool metal.
Before Mark could even open his mouth to ask Jackson where he got it from and why was he given this. Jackson simply leaned over and took the necklace that dangled from Mark’s fingers before swiftly unclasping the clasp The younger was merely a few inches away from Mark’s face as he fumbled with the clasp of the necklace behind Mark, with Mark being able to count Jackson’s eyelashes as the younger frowned and tried to do the task blindly.
“Gaga, I think it’ll be easier if I turned around wouldn’t it?” Mark said softly, laughing a little when Jackson realises the position they are in, with him boxing Mark against the wall - pressed chest to chest. The younger flails backwards, jumping away from Mark making noises that Mark found adorable but would never admit out loud. Mark simply grins at Jackson, turning around to give Jackson access to the back of his neck.
“You know I never did thank you for that day,” Jackson said with a gentle, reminiscent tone as he fiddled with the chain with his breath tickling the back of Mark’s ear.
“What for?”
“For laughing at my obnoxious comment about Mr Kang. If you hadn’t, I don’t think I would have been brave enough to continue bothering you during lunch, in fear of you actually hating me.”
“He did look like he either finished in his pants or was left hard and frustrated. You weren’t wrong.”
Jackson lets out a loud chuckle and Mark couldn’t help but laugh along with the younger, he’d hadn't laughed this hard in a long while with Mark clutching at his stomach, wiping the tears in his eyes from laughing. In his fit of laughter, Mark misses the fond and slightly rueful look on Jackson’s face.
The younger takes a step back from Mark once the necklace is securely in place, grinning at the elder and holding his own up against Mark’s before exclaiming that they have matching necklaces and going on about how it’s their own unique version of a friendship bracelet. Before they leave campus, both heading back to their respective dorms Jackson tugs on the sleeve of Mark’s hoodie and offers the elder two thumbs up and saying, “I believe in you Yi-En, you got this.” Mark offers the younger the barest hint of a smile before waving him off and ducking into his dorm building.
When he enters his dorm he can’t help but touch the necklace, smiling softly to himself - finally allowing himself that little bit of happiness. It filled his heart with warmth, that they’ll always be that one person who’s thinking of him. It’ll be a lie if Mark didn’t feel proud that the necklaces that they both wore would only bear significant meaning to each other, and each other alone. Even in a crowd, Mark would be able to recognise that ‘王’ anywhere and Mark went to bed that night - ignoring the texts from clients asking if he were free somehow unable to keep the thought of Jackson and the smile off his face.
Things get better after that, Mark manages to finish his research paper on time. He’d gotten positive feedback and was well on his way to finishing the term well, but life is like a rollercoaster - what goes up must eventually come back down. He gets called into the administrative office on the last day of the term and gets the dreaded news that he’d been praying he wouldn’t have to hear. There were inadequate funds left in the bank account his mother had set up for him to store his tuition fees for the next semester, and Mark couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could’ve sworn his bank account had enough to barely cover the next semester, that’s why he could afford to reject Jooheon’s offer. With repeated rushed out apologies and assurance to get it sorted out before the next round of transactions, Mark ducked out of the administrative office - ignoring the clerk’s looks of pity.
With shaky hands, he dialled his mother’s number - praying that she’ll tell him it was a mistake, that she hadn’t touched the money that was rightfully his. With every ring, Mark’s heartbeat increases in frequency and his breathing intensifies. She promised that she wouldn’t touch what she had already given him for his education. She fucking promised.
“Ma, did you -”
“Not now Yi-En, I’m in a meeting with the lawyers right now to get what your bastard of a father owes me”
“No Ma, you listen to me carefully. You fucking promised to not touch the money in the account you set aside for my second last year in University. I already promised to figure the last year out on my own, but you fucking promised to let me finish the year.”
“Watch your language young man, I’m your mother you have no right to speak to me that way. If you want to talk about money, go talk to your asshole of a father. I’m busy.”
“You promised! You fucking promised I’ve never asked you for anything other than to let me finish the year.” Mark said, voice cracking with emotion as he threw open the bathroom door and hid in one of the stalls. He was going to be sick. Anger bubbled up in him as he repressed the scream that was threatening to spill from his lips, hot angry tears streamed down his cheeks. He’d never felt this hopeless and betrayed, as he hears the final cutting remarks from the woman he once considered his mother.
“All you men care about are your stupid promises, promises are nothing but empty words Yi - En. You’re no longer my responsibility. Whether or not you graduate with your stupid degree in Astronomy is none of my concern. You’re everything I hated about your father, selfish and too ridiculously impractical.”
Mark hears the dial tone, and when he does - he finally allows the tears to fall. He slams his fist against the side of the stall, barely even flinching at the pain that ricochets up his nerves because it pales in comparison to the pain of the splintering of his heart. The anger and desperation drain out of him, and he’s left empty and wrung-out. He wonders why he even bothered calling her when everyone around him had already left him for dead long ago or had other worries to worry about than silly old Mark Tuan. It was stupid to think that maybe a few years ago, his biggest fear were his parents hating him for being gay. With everything that's been happening, he hadn't had the time to even tell his parents about his sexual preferences. He doubts that they'll even care.
When Mark can finally find the strength, he leaves the bathroom stall and stands in front of the mirror, wondering why he even bothers. He could simply let himself fade from the world, joining the universe as one of the million stars that he likes to believe are made out of souls. He exhales, splashing water against his face as he takes in deep breaths - forcing his lungs to expand and contract. His gaze falls on the glittering silver chain, and mindlessly Mark grabs it and grounds himself with the feeling of cold metal against his warm flesh. He can do this, if not for himself - then for Jackson who believes in him.
He picks up his phone and calls the number he’d sworn to delete and block.
“Jooheon-ssi? This is Mark, I’ll do it.”