Chapter Text
The music was too loud and he was starting to get claustrophobic from how crowded it was. Matteo usually liked parties, but this one was, as Carlos would say, giving him vibes. Bad vibes. He tried to have fun with the boys and drink a little, but his mind wasn’t in the right place. Jonas kept giving him worried glances until Matteo finally told him that he was going home. Carlos and Abdi had disappeared somewhere doing who knows what. Jonas patted his shoulder and told him to get a good night’s sleep and text him in the morning. He nodded and headed towards the exit.
He was barely drunk and he was slightly lightheaded. The cool air felt good on his skin. He walked down the street from the bar he was just in. There were no buses running at this time of night so he began walking towards what he hoped was home.
He was lost. Utterly and totally lost. He had been walking around aimlessly for maybe ten minutes when he finally pulled out his phone and typed into Google Maps. Matteo sighed and slid down the brick wall he was leaned up against. He had been walking the wrong way.
He looked across the street to see that the only store still open was a little bookstore. It was nearly half-past twelve.“Why would a bookstore be open now?” he wondered out loud.
He sighed once more and stood up. ‘ Seeing as I have nothing better to do,’ he thought as he walked over to the other side of the street.
Matteo heard a bell ring as he opened the door. There were bookshelves on the walls and all across the store. He didn’t know what else to expect, it was a bookstore. Matteo started to walk down an aisle and ran his fingers down random book spines. He wasn’t really paying attention and when he was near the end of the aisle, he bumped into someone. The books that they had been holding fell to the floor. Matteo bent down to help pick them up.
“Shit, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” Matteo half mumbled. He glanced up at the person who he’d run into to see a very attractive man. He looked around the same age as Matteo.
“Don’t worry about it,” the man said, taking the books from Matteo’s hands gently. “It could happen to anyone. I’m David.”
Matteo blanked for a second. “I’m gay, uh I mean, shit.” He couldn’t think straight and had just fucked up any chance of a good impression. Why he felt he needed to impress this guy, he had no clue.
“I’m Matteo. I have no idea why I said I’m gay. I mean, I am, but that's irrelevant” He had started to ramble, but caught himself before he said too much.
David laughed. It was a beautiful sound. “Good to know.” Then he winked so quickly that Matteo almost missed it. “If you are looking for anything in particular, just let me know.”
Matteo looked at him oddly and blushed.
“I work here, my sister owns the place and I help out. You know, easy money.”
“Oh, yeah,” Matteo managed quietly.
“I was going to close up soon, but feel free to look around.” Then he walked down the aisle, putting books back in their place as he went. Matteo walked around the store for a little while longer and ended up leaving without buying anything.
Now he had to find his way back to the flat.
—
Matteo did it. He came out. After many encouraging words from the boys and a mental breakdown in front of Hans, Matteo came out to his parents. He called his mom first and she took it surprisingly well. There was no ‘burn in hell’ like he thought there would be. She said that she would love him no matter what and Matteo almost cried. Almost.
With his dad, he couldn’t work up the courage to call. Instead, he sent him a text. It was only about two sentences, but it would suffice. He waited a few hours and then checked his notifications to see if his dad had responded.
“Dude, chill,” Jonas said. He had called Jonas over as soon as he sent the text. Now they were sitting in the kitchen and Matteo was trying to focus on making pasta à la Luigi. Emphasis on trying because he kept looking at his phone every other minute.
“I’m sure he’s just busy, Luigi.”
“Or maybe he wants nothing to do with me anymore. You know, his gay son.”
“Your mom wasn’t like that, so why would your dad be?” Jonas had a good point, but there was a part of Matteo that didn’t want to listen to him. The part of him that said everyone was going to leave him eventually.
“Yeah, I guess.” Matteo then turned back to his pasta. When it was finished, he put it on the table between him and Jonas. They ate in silence and soon there was a ping from Matteo’s phone. He almost dropped it trying to get it off the table.
“Is it your dad?” Jonas asked with a mouthful of pasta.
“No, Amira,” Matteo said while replying to her.
coach: hey are we still on for studying Saturday?
vollidiot: depends
vollidiot: super stressed atm
coach: I’m taking that as a yes for now.
—
Saturday came by fast. Matteo had spent a good portion of the week checking his phone to see if his dad had responded yet. The answer was always no. He was going to cancel on Amira but she said that even if he canceled, she would still come over to study. That was just how she was.
So now they were sat in the living room of the flatshare, Amira trying to get Matteo to focus on something from some lecture. It wasn’t working. All Matteo could think about was that his dad still hadn’t answered him. If it was anything else, he probably wouldn’t have cared, but he came out for fuck's sake. Matteo had hoped that his dad would at least act like a father in this situation. And the fact he’s avoiding it made Matteo anxious. It also made him a little angry. It’s been a week.
“Alright, let’s go,” Amira said, snapping Matteo out of his thoughts. She started to pack up her notes.
“Uh, where to, exactly?”
“You obviously can’t focus. And I’m hungry.” She headed towards the door. “So we are going to get lunch, your treat.”
“Don’t you mean ‘my treat’?” Matteo stood and followed her to the door, slipping on his shoes.
“Nope, you’re paying.”
They decided on a place to eat that was about ten minutes away. As they walked into the cafe, Matteo thought that this area felt familiar. He brushed it off. They ordered their food and sat down near the window. Matteo had gotten a chai latte that Amira insisted he would like, and a cheese sandwich.
After they ate, Amira somehow convinced him to go book shopping with her. She said that there was a bookstore a street over so they could walk. When they got to the store, Matteo realized why this area looked so familiar. This was where he had gone after that party last Saturday.
They entered and Matteo heard the bell above the door. The person at the counter looked up and smiled at them. “Amira, long time no see,” David said.
Then he looked at Matteo and he felt like he was melting. His eyes were dark brown and intense. He had to look away, even if he didn’t want to. If he could, he would look into those eyes all day.
“I didn’t know you knew Amira, gay Matteo.” Next, to him, he heard Amira snort.
Matteo walked around the store, picking up random books, reading the covers, and then putting them back. Amira was on the opposite side of the store looking for a book for one of her classes next semester. He had walked down three aisles and had no idea what to look for, since he wasn’t a big book person.
“I could give you some recommendations if you’re lost?” Matteo turned around to see David, leaning against a bookshelf.
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Why was he so awkward? It’s not like he hadn’t seen cute guys before. But something about David was… different. He made Matteo’s heart race and he felt like throwing up when David looked at him for even the smallest moment. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
David started talking about a couple of books that he thought Matteo would like. He mentioned The Song of Achilles and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe , both of which, David pointed out, were gay.
Matteo ended up buying the first book David had suggested. He and Amira walked out of the store and head towards the bus station.
“So I take it you’ve met David before?” Amira sounded amused and Matteo wanted to die. “Alright, ‘Gay Matteo’, where to next?”
She was never going to let him forget about this.