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They never ask me if I like my job. They never ask if I want my job. I never asked for this. I never asked to be manhandled almost every day. They slam me against the ground, throw me from sweaty hand to sweaty hand. My only solace is the net. The brush of it against my skin is a welcome sensation. Some games it happens more than others and I enjoy them while they last, because I never know when they will put me away again. Away for the off-season. Away because they give up.
My favorite games are those with Aomine. I know I will feel the net’s gentle caress when I’m with him. I trust him to make every single basket and he trusts me. He knows I won’t let him down and I never will. He might not be Kuroko’s light anymore, but he will always be mine. I was his first love, after all. He loves me more than almost anything else. The only love that will ever surpass ours is his love for Kise.
They have kept it a secret from the world, but not from me. I watched their relationship grow and develop until it surpassed Aomine’s love for me. It began when I hit that blond head. I just knew I had to hit him. I didn’t know why, but it was as if I was pulled into it. That began their relationship and through every one-on-one, I watched romance blossom.
It began after a particularly brutal one-on-one. It was late, I was being held by Kise as he sat on the ground trying to catch his breath. Aomine handed him a bottle of water and they sat there in comfortable silence. I had a feeling that this would end differently than just the regular parting of ways.
Aomine leaned over me and kissed Kise. It was a chaste kiss (they were in middle school, after all), but it was enough to send their relationship into the stars. They agreed that they would keep it a secret. Their friends were not ready to know and they were not ready to tell.
Funny thing is, it didn’t remain a secret for long. Akashi spun me on his finger as he casually told Momoi about his “suspicions.” They weren’t suspicions. He knew. I felt like he could read my mind somehow. It was a silly thought, of course, he’d clearly just read his teammates, but it made me pause. My sentience was a secret. Nobody had ever questioned it before, but I questioned it then. If I felt so much, could my feelings be sensed?
It was a sad day when Kise and Aomine played against one another in high school. I was rooting for their relationship, which they’d tried to maintain, but fell apart before middle school could end. I wanted to bounce back and into the basket for the last shot for Kise. I knew a loss could bring back the Aomine we both fell in love with, but I could never betray Aomine like that.
Then he got defeated by another pair.
Kuroko had always been one of my favorites. He made me shine while sacrificing his own presence. He made me feel special. Important. Loved in a different way than the way Aomine loved me. Basketball was not Kuroko’s life, but it was enough a part of him to mean something. It meant a lot, but it didn’t mean everything. It was a passion, not a lifestyle.
I was present for the first game they played against one another shortly after their first meeting. I liked Kagami. He reminded me of Aomine. He lived and breathed basketball. I remembered Himuro Tatsuya teaching little Kagami how to handle me.
I wasn’t there when the shadow and his new light took their relationship in a new direction, but I was present for their first kiss. It started out awkward, with Kagami having to drop me to the ground and lean down for his lips to ambush those of Kuroko. Once Kuroko caught on to what was happening, things got better. They became giddy and went to eat at Maji Burger, putting me away.