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Tony never really had pets. While he was growing up, Howard never really allowed animals inside the house, so he just got used to the idea. So, Tony Stark didn't have any pets.
But Steve wanted one so badly. The soldier never begged for one, but all the "hints" about wanting a pet were clear as day. Whenever they were out, seeing dogs out on the street or at the park, or maybe seeing a cat in the windows of apartment buildings, Steve always had something to say about it. People were always so shocked to see Captain America and Iron Man walking the streets of Manhattan that they were more than willing to let the heroes pet their animals.
"You're a sweet girl, aren't you?" Steve's baby voice made Tony swoon, but he tried not to show it. Steve knelt down on the sidewalk, scratching the fluffy husky's ears. "You're a good girl for sitting like that. Yes, you are!"
The dog seemed to be smiling just as wide as the owner was. Tony couldn't blame them; getting attention from Steve made him smile, too.
But then they were on their way, and Steve gushed about the dog for the several blocks it took to get them back to the tower. Once they were back in the apartment, Tony sighed as he splayed on the couch. Steve smirked as he joined his husband.
"Something wrong?"
Tony sighed just as dramatically as before, only this time laying on Steve's lap and feigning a somber expression on his face. "You love dogs more than me."
"Oh, absolutely. You got me, Tony. I'm about to divorce you and adopt all the stray dogs in the city." Steve carded his fingers through Tony's hair, chuckling when the infamous pout grew on his face.
"Not funny."
The blond leaned down and pressed his lips to Tony's forehead. "I'm sorry, I take it back. I don't need anyone or anything but you. Better?"
Tony folded his arms. "Play with my hair some more and then I'll decide."
One day, Peter brought a damned cat to the tower.
Peter was welcome in their apartment anytime, the teenager took Tony up on that offer frequently. He came by to study, left whatever device he needed to be charged up, and he definitely crashed out on the roof every once in a while after a night of fighting crime.
The teenager also did his fair share of chores around the apartment whenever Tony and Steve were out of the apartment for a while: dishes, getting up and dusting the ceilings and other places that were hard to reach without spider-like powers. He was very responsible and trustworthy, as he often liked to remind the superhero couple.
That was the excuse Peter used when he knocked on the door one night, soaked to the bone in the suit, carrying a tiny, crying kitten in his arms. Tony quickly took the child inside, trying to hush both of them before Steve would hear the pathetic mewling and begging alongside Peter.
"I'm responsible! Mr. Stark, I'll take good care of him, I promise!" He followed Tony around the room, who happened to be pacing over the fact that there would be a fucking cat living in the apartment. Their clean, pristine, and well-kept apartment.
"Pete, buddy, can't you take him to a shelter? There are lots of people who'd love to adopt him, and we-we can't have a cat." Tony sat down next to the kid on the couch, trying not to look at the cat, who seemingly had the same, heartbroken expression.
How do they do that?
"He was eating from the trash!" Peter's lip wobbled slightly, enough to pull on Tony's heart a little. "He was eating a leftover cheeseburger in an alley, Mr. Stark!"
Tony sighed and squeezed the kids shoulders. "Take the cat home, bud. I-I'm not sure if we can keep a cat in here—"
Steve emerged from the shadows of the kitchen, nearly startling the daylights of his husband and the distraught teenager. He held two mugs of steaming hot cocoa and handed them off.
"We can keep a cat," Steve replied as a-matter-of-factly, "the landlord said we can."
Tony furrowed his brows. "We own the tower—" He immediately shut his mouth once he saw his husband and Peter giggling together.
Of course he'd use the landlord card. They owned the damn building that they were staying in. Tony and Steve allowed everyone else to have pets, so why couldn't they take in this little guy?
"I-I don't know how to take care of a cat." Tony hoped that would be enough to get the animal out of their apartment. "And Steve—"
"I can take care of him," Steve said. He extended the back of his hand to the kitten, who whimpered quietly before offering a introductory lick. "See? He likes me already. I can keep him, Pete."
"Steve."
The blond looked at him hopefully. "C'mon, he's been soaked from the rain and he's bone-thin."
Peter sniffled. "I'd take him Mr. Stark, but Aunt May is allergic."
The allergy card. An excellent excuse. Tony should have thought of that before.
Tony could barely look at Steve or Peter at this point; he knew he'd immediately cave once he saw their pleading eyes. Instead, he glanced at the kitten, sickly and tiny and filthy. The orange fur was ridden with fleas, covered in dirt and God knows what else is in the alleyways of New York. There were some cuts around the belly, like he might have gotten into a fight with some other strays in the street. The kitten mewed once again, pleading with the engineer to give in and let him stay.
"If this apartment starts to smell like pee, Peter, I swear to God—"
Peter gently placed the kitten into Steve's arms and grasped Tony in a hug. "I'll be here every day to make sure he's alright, I can even get a job somewhere to pay for some of his food and kitty litter! Thank you so much, Mr. Stark!"
After profuse gratitude, the young hero pulled his mask back on and continued his work, promising to be back in the morning before he went to school. Peter gripped Tony in a hug once more before swinging away to save the city.
Tony immediately turned to Steve, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. The blond held the kitten up, making a kissy face to the kitten and cradling him like an infant.
"You're gonna be safe and sound here, little man," Steve cooed, "we'll feed you fancy fish, maybe we can get the kid to buy you some catnip! The good stuff, you know..."
Great. Now they have a damned cat.
The next morning, Peter insisted that they had to take the kitten to the vet.
"He definitely has fleas," Steve added in agreement, "we have to go to an animal hospital."
Tony held his tongue on the car ride to the vet. He wanted to be annoyed, but that effort was pointless by now. He would do anything for the kid, and honestly, seeing Steve baby the kitten made his heart swell. Maybe it'll be fun having a pet. As long as it doesn't piss everywhere or scratch up the hardwood floors, they'd be good to go.
"And what was this little guy's name?" The young woman at the desk asked.
Steve was surprised. "Oh, Peter didn't have a name for him—"
"Cheeseburger," Tony replied quickly. "Uh, Cheesy is his nickname."
She laughed. "That's adorable. Okay, one of the technicians will call Cheesy's name shortly."
The couple sat in the waiting room, holding their kitten, who looked better than the night before. It occurred to them that they couldn't bring Cheeseburger looking like a mess to the vet, so they had to give a very scared kitten a bath, which was extremely difficult for a couple of superheroes who didn't know one thing about having a pet.
Steve wanted to keep the damn kitten so bad that he lied about knowing how to take care of one, which Tony very quickly found out. The little furball small enough to fit in one of the soup bowls, but it took the both of them to wrestle him into staying still for a bath.
Cheeseburger looked a little better, but he was still very malnourished and in need of proper grooming. After the examination from the vet, some vaccinations (Steve couldn't bear to see the kitten being poked with needles) and a clean up from one of the technicians, Cheeseburger looked like a brand new cat. The vet sent them home with some medicine for any wounds and flea and heartworm prevention.
"Looks like he's in good hands," the lady said before bidding them goodbye, "he's got two superheroes looking after him."
Cheeseburger meowed triumphantly, rousing laughter throughout the clinic. Tony couldn't help but chuckle too, seeing the cat in Steve's arms.
Peter and Steve fell in love with the cat. Before the teenager had to leave for decathlon or band practice, the two would spend hours spoiling the cat with toys and treats. Tony played with Cheeseburger every now and again, but it was clear that the kitten only had eyes for Peter and Steve.
"He loves you too, you know," Steve said, "he'd love if you played with him more."
"He doesn't like me," Tony said simply, "but you and Pete adore him, so that's fine by me."
Peter eventually left the tower to get to band practice, bidding Tony and Steve goodbye. The blond eventually made his way to the kitchen, with Cheeseburger on his heels, eagerly waiting to play some more. Tony followed suit, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist. The kitten mewed jealously, pawing at Tony's ankles to get some attention from the super soldier.
Tony scoffed and stuck out his tongue. "I found him first."
Steve laughed as he prepared some vegetables for that night's dinner. "Play nice, sweetheart."
"You heard the man."
The chef turned around and kissed his husband on the nose. "Talking about you, Tony."
Tony grabbed a handful of kibble from one of the many jars of cat food and treats that lined the kitchen counter. He extended his hand down to the kitten. Cheeseburger carefully sniffed the kibble before taking some into his mouth and scampering back to the living room.
"He eats right out of your hand but runs away when I feed him," Tony whined, "I'm telling you. The cat hates me."
Cheeseburger returned to the kitchen, rubbing himself on Steve's legs and purring quietly. Steve chuckled to himself, then pressed a kiss to his pouting husband's cheek.
"Give him time," Steve repeated, "and a little extra love."
Alright, so Tony hadn't really been giving Cheeseburger extra love. He'd give the kitten some extra kibble as a peace offering, but that was quickly forgotten whenever Steve showered him with belly rubs and cat treats. While the kitten loved when Peter came over, it was clear that Cheeseburger and Steve were inseparable.
That extra love would have helped right about now, because Steve was on a mission with Nat and Peter was away on a band trip for the next few days.
He was alone with a cat that hated him.
Cheeseburger would sit on Steve's side of the bed, meowing pathetically for the super soldier to come home. He'd sometimes go into Steve's quarters in the tower, even though the soldier didn't spend much time there since Tony and Steve got married. But the room still smelled like him, and Cheeseburger was on his own personal mission to find his favorite blond.
The kitten would also occupy the extra room they kept for Peter, crying out to the teenager. Tony had to close the doors any rooms that would even mildly smell like Steve or Peter, and Cheeseburger was not pleased with this at all.
The orange furball pawed at one of the doors in the apartment, hissing angrily when Tony shot him a glance.
"They aren't here," Tony insisted, "I know you understand me. They'll be home in a few days."
Cheeseburger almost whined in response, retreating to his bed in defeat. Tony almost felt bad for the little guy. He ventured into the kitchen, reaching into one of the jars of fancy cat treats and offering it to the sad kitten. Cheeseburger quickly accepted the treat and hopped up to the one of the stools at the counter top.
"Humans sit on these chairs." Tony raised his eyebrows when the cat mewed back in response. "Are you a human? I know you think you are, but you aren't."
Cheeseburger hopped into the counter this time, sitting right in front of the engineer. He meowed a little more delicately now instead of angrily. Tony rolled his eyes and scratched behind the kitten's ears. The kitten purred, briefly, but it was there.
Tony smirked. Cheeseburger seemed content for the first time since Steve and Peter left for their trips.
"Alright. Play nice for the next two days and I'll tell Steve you were a good cat," Tony said gently, "if you're a good cat, they'll spoil you even more. They'll probably kick me out of here so they can buy you a cat throne or something."
Cheeseburger tilted his head, as if suddenly interested in the idea. Tony nodded and continued, babbling on and on to the kitten, who seemed pleased with all the attention and ear scratching.
Suddenly, Tony found himself talking to the cat all day long. Cheeseburger was an excellent conversationalist, mewing at just the right moments when Tony paused. The kitten seemed pleased with himself every time Tony laughed in response.
The last few days without Steve seemed to fly by. It was as if Tony had a second shadow; Cheeseburger followed him around to the lab constantly, curiously inspecting anything that Tony was working on. The engineer even kept a food bowl in the lab since he and the kitten were spending long hours together. Growing kittens needed to eat, after all.
He didn't realize how attached he was to the damned cat until he needed to step out and get dinner for himself.
The tiny kitten mewed angrily upon seeing Tony putting his shoes on and grabbing his keys. Cheeseburger stood in front of the doorway in an attempt to keep the engineer home.
"I'm hungry, Cheesy," Tony explained. "Steve is the one that loves to cook, and well...I want a cheeseburger."
The cat's ears perked up at the word, and Tony laughed. "I mean the actual cheeseburger. A burger that happens to have cheese on it. Don't give me that look, I swear...alright, fine. If you make a mess in the car, our deal about telling Steve you were a good cat is going out the window. I mean it."
Tony ended up coming home with a cat car seat, extra toys and treats, and two cheeseburgers. The cat wouldn't sit still during the car ride, and Tony was horrified that Cheeseburger would go flying through the window if he hit the brakes too hard.
"We're stopping here and then going to get dinner," Tony said sternly. "Just a cat car seat. Or something that'll hold you down since you're crazy and won't sit still."
Cheeseburger mewed in annoyance. Tony scoffed. "Don't take that tone with me. You're the one who won't just sit in my lap."
But it was more than just cat safety gear that Tony ended up buying. The kitten seemed to meow at everything that looked like a treat or a toy, and soon, Tony had racked up a full cart of cat items they definitely did not need. The teenager at the register couldn't believe that Tony Stark was in the building with a cat in his arms.
The things he did for this damn cat.
A cartload of pet items and two cheeseburgers later, the pair were finally back at the apartment. Cheeseburger eagerly made his way to the kitchen onto the stool, waiting for his dinner. Tony unloaded all the bags from the pet store and sighed.
"How did I let you talk me into buying all this?" Tony chuckled to himself. "Steve is going to kill me."
Cheeseburger mewed impatiently, ready to have his favorite food. The engineer sat next to him, breaking off tiny pieces of the burger for the kitten.
"I think you're just using me for food," Tony said, "that and to make Steve believe you're a perfect cat. Except that you're not. You manipulate people to get what you want. I don't doubt that you're going to take over the world someday. You'd be good at it too..."
"Honey, who are you talking to?"
Tony and Cheeseburger nearly jumped ten feet in the air to find Steve entering the kitchen. There was a bit of stubble on Steve's face from days away from home and not being able to shave. Fatigue was all over the soldier's face, and Tony melted.
Tony immediately walked into the blond's open arms, breathing in the familiar smell that he adored so much. He grinned into his husband's lips once he felt the scratch of stubble. Tony sighed, letting his hands wander a little and eliciting a chuckle from the supersoldier.
"Easy there, tiger."
Tony pouted. "You were gone longer than I expected. Pardon me for missing you and your ass."
They'd been together for years, but Steve still blushed and cleared his throat. "I missed you, too."
Cheeseburger meowed loudly, pawing at Steve's ankles. The soldier picked up the kitten and cooed. "I missed you, too! Looks like Tony played nice after all."
"He's a good cat," Tony admitted. "I can see why you and Pete love that furball so much."
Steve smirked. "You love the cat and he loves you."
Tony rolled his eyes as Steve used his free arm to hold his waist. "Yeah, whatever, Rogers. You need to get that cat a brother or sister or something. He's insufferable when you and Peter are gone."
The blond's eyes widened. "I'm calling the shelter right now."
And suddenly there were a few more additions to their family, much to Peter's delight. The couple kept Cheeseburger while fostering animals for the local pet shelters in the city. Steve settled for adopting just one other pet for the sake of Tony's sanity. Cheeseburger was delighted by the presence of his new sister, a brown lab appropriately named Cocoa.
And yes. Tony fell in love with that damn cat and that damn dog.